So many photos no title can cover them.

It is 8 freaking AM! Yesterday I shocked myself with my sleep patterns.

I woke up early right, so by 9 at night I got tired, and went to bed.

In the end I woke up at 7am! 7am! Never woke up so early since secondary school! So I woke up, chatted a bit with a friend in US, and by 9am, realise that none of my bumming friends are up yet, so I fell asleep again.

I slept till 6pm. -_-

I am very amazed. So yes, right now, I have not yet slept, and I am feeling hungry!

Momo woke up at 8am, no longer feeling surprised that I am not sleeping yet, and asked if I want breakfast. Except it is not really breakfast but supper, isn't it? Ha. *dry laughter*

So MY POINT IS!!!! She is downstairs buying breakfast and the only reason why I am not sleeping yet is because I want to eat it! Yay!

So if you like my blogs, you thank Momo! And click here to vote for me too! (Can vote once everyday) :D

Here are some very ancient photos! You know they are ancient coz I still have my braids on, and of course, Shuyin have recently grown a fine beard - and she is still beardless in these pics.

This is Shuyin before the beard. I told her it's fashion suicide but she insisted on growing it, saying it matches my single curly 5 inch armpit hair, which I have refused to pluck ... since puberty I think. You remember the date you started puberty? Mine was 11/02/1996!

Ah, I think from now onwards I will celebrate menst***tion anniversaries! :D (I starred it coz the word somehow looks more offensive than che**bye)

Friends, "Why are you treating us to this red cranberry cake?"

Me, mysterious smile, "What date is it?"

Friends, "It's the 11th of Feb. It's not your birthday, that's on 28th of April, isn't it?"

Me, "That's correct."

Friends, "Then?"

Me, "Today we celebrate the 10th year of my womanhood! Let's drink up!"

Friends, "... Oh wait. This cake... Red... It is not...?"

Me, chokes, "WHAT? Er no... No... Eat up, eat up."

Yay!

Just on an irrelevant trivia note, woman spend an average of 6 fucking years menstr**ting.

THAT IS SO FUCKING LONG! I asked someone if she would want it all at one go or have it like now, once a month. Think she said all at one go. Siao! Imagine 6 years of no tanning and constant cramps! But wow, freedom after that, shiok!

Er... Did I digress a lot? Sorry sorry...

Me! My wonderful hair colour is still sponsored (not endorsed) by Kimage and it is still gorgeous!

The stylist was so sweet, she wrapped up my braids!

Long hair, no beard.

Short hair... Nice right? It is supposed to look like Jessica Alba's style.


Met Idris for show but couldn't catch any...


We both have nice hair! :D


Next day! Look very angelic right?

I KNOW! Coz I did "Apply image, screen" on photoshop, haha!

Shuyin and I spent so much at the Loreal Warehouse sale! Super cheap can, mascaras for $5!

Junne came back from Perth that day, so we went all the way to Pasir Ris to find her, at her place!

The chao turtle is very ungrateful, she let her dog bite me and Shuyin... :(

After that Kelvin called and asked if we wanna go to KTV, and I brought the girls along!

Partyworld...


Kelvin engages you in a staring competition.

Big eyes are SO WASTED on guys! What do they need it for? Only makes them look sissified can. Gimme lar. I swap eyes with him. Will look perfect on me. *mumbles* guys don't need big eyes...

To the million or so people who say that Junne looks like Joey Yung, thanks for being another one to bite the dust and stating the obvious.

To be fair Junne looked more like the pre-surgery Joey, but hey, I think actually Junne's parents might have gave birth to twins and sold one to Hong Kong in poverty, where she got raised by mafia parents and was pushed into stardom.

I discussed this possibility with Junne, but she just shot me a disgusted look and shouted incohorently something about "never was", "poor to that extent" and "you" "crazy bitch".

Whatever man, you judge for yourself:

Anyway June likes looking like Joey. I've got proof!

She really getting into the mood...




A bit ding dong hor?

After KTV Shuyin and I stayed over at Jealous Junne's place... When she was bathing we ransacked her 3-doored floor-to-ceiling cupboard!

Inside there was a lot of stupid hats, so we started wearing them! Junne is siao, last time in poly, she'd go into this "fashion transition" where she will do a complete image makeover.

One of her most horrible ideas was to "act jap", when she procured a lot of these crazyass headgear!

See?

I'm wearing a fucking BEANIE! Whahaha! Junne thinks she is a guitar strumming punk is it? LOL

What's that with Shuyin? A BONNET!

WAHAHHA SO AWFUL!

We started to dig more hats to wear, and Shuyin got this fat golf cap or something, and I decided to put a bra pad on my head! With Junne's ancient sunglasses! Wahahaha!

How do I look with a bra pad?

Me lucky, me touch pad which touched Junne's boobies! MUAHAHAHA

Junne has these crazy scarves! How, I was trying to imitate Jerry Yan's "Feng li tou" from Meteor Garden! Look like right?! :D

Awful!

Remind me never to wear such headgear again...

Next! The Balcony!

Some of you might have noticed this swanky place just outside Heeren, which has white swinging chairs... called The Balcony!

I met Huifen and the rest of the guys to check the place out!

I am so impressed by the place! Every single detail of the decor was money splashed. You can tell that the owner of the place had no qualms about throwing out the moolah to make his place the most lavish of all...

From the rocking chairs, swings, swinging chairs... to the big glasses and opium-smoking-like beds for the alcholics... and even a fucking JACUZZI in the middle of the bar upstairs! Amazing.

And it's 24hrs! The service was great too! I think I will be going there very often. :)

Huifen and I...

This is the same photo as the nose-surgery one, and when Huifen reviewed the picture on my camera she immediate went like, "Yikes, you ting xiong!" (thrust your chest out)

I swear I didn't! It just turned out like that.

With the trademark drink, Melon Lemon or something.

Ok, I just realised they are anagrams of each other.

My favourite MNG jeans! Wah lau! Unfortunately for us, we sat on the seats after fresh rain, and the connecting screw on my seat was rusty.

As a result it dripped brown water on my pale jeans! Grrr... But Momo managed to wash it off. Be careful if you sit on those seats after rain!

I really should do something about my tummy. Slimming sponsors, anyone?

Great food variety! Food closes at 2am, I think.

Eh, I asked the waitress how big the foie gras was, and she made a diamond shape with joining her index to her index and her thumb to her thumb.

I think I actually laughed out loud and told her that no freaking goose can have that big a liver, and might have even meanly sneered a bit to Huifen.

She just gave me a confused face.

Later, I realised the waitress was right:

.
.
.
.
.


Bah! Pate! But what to do, it's only $14.50! It is still nice though. :)

The one thing I REALLY loved about Balcony: A UNISEX TOILET!

Surprisingly yeah? There is only one toilet, and it has 3 cubicles with one shower room! It is so weird to see guys using the sink just beside you... :) But fun!

There, all of us inside the toilet!

While I was doing my hair Vyasa grabbed my camera, locked everyone in the shower room, and took these pictures! Crazy friends!

I met the owner of Balcony and he beckoned me over and said he reads my blog! :D So honoured!

One of them took sneaky photos of me while the GM of Ministry of Sound was talking to me, lol... It truely looks like a sneaky photo; complete with the uninteresting foreground! *ducks Huifen's smacks*

Five-ten.

After this, I started to irritate Kelvin by picking up this curtain string thing that dropped out from the cushions, and tickling him at the ear when he is talking to other people. He twitches.

He got angry with me, and started tickling me back with that thing - and Huifen joined in, while Vyasa snapped photos. -_-

You can see their hands holding that stringy thing! GUILTY AS CHARGED.



Damn you Kelvin and Huifen!

Up to here, I realised I am only half-done, and I should possibly continue tomorrow... It's getting long isn't it? Go vote! My, it's 11.10am now.

Read The Full Article

The Best Asian Blog

Vote for me!!!

Thanks to whoever nominated me, and thanks to the 184 people who voted even before I knew I got nominated! *hugs*

Here's your incentive for voting... I give you picture of June's boobies! Beats Mr Brown's $150 million monopoly money! haha!

Really!

On a totally irrelevant note, Shuyin cut her hair:

I got super a lot of photos to blog about! Tonight.

Luv,
XX

Read The Full Article

We are Angels!

Sara Ann invited me to an angel themed party! Of course, that got Shuyin, Junne and I very excited coz we have the opportunity to dress up! MUAHAHAHA!

Photos photos! Taken at new club, The Loof.

We dragged the boys along. :) Anyway, this entry's gonna be short coz I have a meeting at 11am tomorrow, which means I have to wake up early!

Shuyin and I went to Spotlight to buy christmas decorations to make halos for everyone! Coz we must all be angels!

With Xiao feng and June... In smelly Kelvin's car.

Of course the colours aren't like that, I was just playing around with photoshop and having fun! :D

At the party... With Motorola chops!




I partied with GOD! And the Devil himself! (You'll find out who later)

We so pretty! :D I love my blonde brows! And brown contacts! heehee...

My angel dress was bought from This Fashion at $23 or something... It's supposed to be a skirt but I hitched it up, and had to put a crazy amount of pins on the back to make it tighter!

June came over to my place to get prepared, and her dress's also a skirt hitched up, with my tube top over it! The roses also mine! Bitch! Kop all my things!

Seeing that Shuyin and I keep wearing fake lashes recently, June decided to also... So I lent her my normal ones, and put on something SUPER KUA ZHANG!!!

My fake lashes are damn fucking long! They are so drag queen!

Look:

Alright, it may not look THAT long here, but check out the top view!


.
.
.
.
.
.
.


Scary right?! LOL

The Loof was on a rooftop of some building, and has a nice billboard!


Russell and Vyasa, with halos!

Actually I have no idea whether Vyasa's is hidden or he took it off.

So funny! Their toilets had silhouettes of people inside! :)


Nice view!


June, me, xf and Kelvin...


Me! I look like I have "dead-fish" eyes here.


Kel + Martin


A dark angel taints the pure white!


Tim's tee has an angel on it too!

Told you she's a fake angel; where got angel need other angels to fasten their halos for them one?

I swear I was trying to take a photo of the group! Turned out to be only myself ahahaha...

Angels are created to sing praises for God! :D

Cannot cannot, Shuyin looks terrible, let's do it again!

Me, "Ok ok Shuyin you stand here I stand in front..."

June, thinking, "Hmm... nice hair. Feel like touching..."

2nd try:

Still cannot see Shuyin's face! Duh!

After this we went KTV, coz the place was really damn hot!

Halos and fake lashes rule!

Kelvin started to sing some song with Jerry Yan in it, and I rushed to kiss the tv!!! SO HANDSOME!

Wah lau not kissing his lips!

Shuyin was a lousy photographer so many shots turned out with me kissing other people in the MTV, ie Karen Mok and *gasp* Jacky Cheung! Yucks.

This one's good! :D Jerry loves me!!! Yay! (p/s: Know which MTV yet, and for what show this song was for? Ha!)

Read The Full Article

Xiaxue you are such a turn off! I shall stop reading your blog!

Sorry for the lack in posts, I read a comment the other day, and it went something like, "Xiaxue you know that you'll need to do an excellent job on the script right? Or people will be really pissed at you for making them wait so long."

Upon reading that my orifices started to vomit and I spasmed non-stop for 10 minutes. When Momo found me, I was curled up into a little ball on the floor, convulsing with terror.

I recovered, but whenever I wanted to write the script I started to get weird hallucinations again. Just the other day, I hallucinated that I was at my kitchen, holding the biggest chopper, and was about to chop my toes off.

When I was clear-headed again, I realised the biggest of my toes was gone. *gasp* I can't find it anywhere.

If you didn't get it it means that I'm really scared of writing the script now and it has affected my writing so much that I really don't wanna write it anymore. Sigh. But I will. Later.

Because of the procrasination of the script, the rest of the blog entries are piling up like nobody's business. My photos have bypassed hundreds to become thousands now, and it is freaking me out!

On the other hand, I've also been very busy... With what, you ask with indignance! You are a freaking bummer!

Hiyah, a lot of things lar, I reply evasively. Hee hee

A few updates: A Newpaper reporter called me the day before... I kinda forgot his name, quite a nice chap he was... Called Hollister or something.

I know male reporters can rarely be called Hollister, but it was a name starting with H and with three or four syllabus, so if you come up with something better I urge you to bring it forward.

So Hollister called me, while I was still sleeping at Janice's place after mahjong...

Hollister informed me, with the tone of a death announcement, that I was nominated "Turn-off of the year" for Newpaper's yearly Flame (pun? LOL) Awards.

I wonder if this had to do with the vehement Jean Marie post (taken down since because Newpaper asked me to, saying it was "baseless and untrue" - but hey, you judge whether you believe me or them, yeah?)...

I also wonder, why doesn't Newpaper simply put the editor of Today to be nominated too? That, and TT Durai as well. LOL! It's a great way to discredit people. :)

Anyway, I was superbly gleeful when notified that I am, if I win the others, the "Turn-off" of the year.

As I told Hollister,

It is so much better to be loved, and conversely hated, than to live a life so non-descript and mediocre that people are simply indifferent to you.

Am I right or wrong? Who am I kidding, of COURSE I'm right.

I told Janice I was turn-off of the year (provided I win of course, and I'm counting on your votes!), and Janice laughed her loud chuckle and said, "VERY GOOD!" and patted me on the back, like a difficult job well done. "More readers means more money for you!"

And I have to say I love that girl's attitude. *hugs*

I AM TURN-OFF OF THE YEAR!!! :D

People are so turned off by me, that nobody ever reads my blog. :(


Other good news!

QUESTION:

What do these Hollywood A-listers...

Paris Hilton


Nicky Hilton


Nicole Ritchie


Hilary Duff


Mischa Barton


And Xiaxue...



have in common?

That's right, we all use a Motorola PINK Razr!

I mean duh, now that everyone can buy it the celebrities will possibly throw it away, but so? At the very least it's pink, and it's pretty!






Yeah lar I zi lian... Cannot meh? Nice ah? :D

More blogging soon, I have a gazillion photos!

Read The Full Article

Men and their selfish rudeness!

June is back from Perth! Yay! :D

So anyway, before I commence on my writing the damn script (I've been procrastinating because I decided to read the book again before I embark on the task :D), I wanna complain!

That day, the whole group of us when to Mambo together. Actually, Birdy and I wanted to bring Junne (she added an N to her name in the hope of sounding a little more unique) to Mambo to reexperience Singapore, but Kelvin and the boys were going too, so we all went together.

Speaking of which, I got bounced out of members A-Fucking-Gain, for the 2nd time. I cannot take it!!!!!!

Bloody elitist BASTARDS (I'm elitist too, which is precisely why nobody should be elitist against me)!

I mean, obviously they cannot bounce me coz I'm a member, but they just refused to let Shuyin and Junne both go in, coz *roll eyes* one member can only bring one person in.

I don't see what's the muthafucking problem. Is Shuyin chio? Yes. Is Junne pretty? Yes. So? Isn't the whole POINT of members to have supposedly cool people inside, mingling with each other and making everyone's life more meaningful?

The whole theory about making a part of a club elitist is simple:

Allow in hot chicks. Hot chick get guys, and more guys want to come in. Among big group of men, pick out rich ones. Rich ones buy expensive alcohol = club earns big money. Club uses money to improve on DJs = more famous. More famous = more hot chicks. More hot chicks = more men come. Men= spend money. And so on and so forth.

Simple? I thought so too.

Who chooses the bloody bouncer ANYWAY? Eileen (Wee) and I were talking about this bouncing thing the other day, and we both came to the conclusion that most bouncers in Singapore have no idea the who's whos are.

She (Eileen) brought two friends with her some time ago, one of which is some big shot director in Hongkong and the other, a HK actor.

The bouncer doesn't know who they are, and well, he is not to be blamed, for he is Malay (and Malays don't watch HK TV I presume). He refused them entry into the VIP area (not Zouk, another club), opening his arms spread-eagle and rudely proclaiming they cannot go in.

Eileen tried to whisper to him who they are and the necessity of getting them inside, because obviously such people would prefer a little more privacy... But the bouncer refused to listen. Doesn't the words "actor", "director" and "rich" mean anything to him??!

In the end they went to another club I think, and splashed a great deal of money there. WTF.

Who's fault? The ignorant bouncer's.

The sad dilemma about such things, is that you cannot possibly open your mouth and tell the bouncer who you are. He is just supposed to know.

Back to the point. So whenever I get bounced, I will just walk inside, and get a friend inside to bring my friends in.

The bouncer will make a grimacing face, and grudgingly step aside to allow a more influential customer to bring my friends in, while I stand at their sides, trying to bore holes into his face by vicious staring.

It is awkward and embarrassing for everyone, so why not just let my friends in next time, asswipe?

Annoying.

*mumbles indistinctly about Ministry of Sound*

So yes.

Later on, Kelvin got a table near the dancefloor, so the 3 of us girls just sat down, swaying a little to the music.

Presently enough, this group of boys started to dance near to us. Typical boys, wearing striped/flowery shirts and that sort, and they weren't ugly (or so I can see in the dim light).

The one nearest to me was wearing a black Le Coq Sportif jacket, and he was possibly the best looker of the lot. :)

After a while, he smiled at me and asked, "You girls are not dancing! It is not because we are occupying your space, right?"

Or something to that effect lar.

I smiled and replied the truth, which was that we were "guarding the table", because Kel and Vyasa went out for some fresh air.

I cannot really remember what happened, but Mr Le Coq asked my name and told me his in return, and I guarantee that I was perfectly friendly.

He even put their group's drink on our table, and said that the empty table needed some drinks on it, and also offered Junne, Shuyin and I a bit of the alcohol. We shook our heads.

Time moved on and nothing further happened with Le Coq, and Kelvin and Vyasa seemed to have vanished into Zathura, so we girls decided to forgo the table and dance with the rest of our friends.

See, I even drew a picture for you to understand better. As you can clearly see from the picture, Shuyin is a bit siao.

So anyway, while we danced, Mr Le Coq decided to be a bastard and ....

started talking to Junne.

Yadda yadda small talk, and he asked her if she wanted to dance with him!!!! (Junne said no, orbi good). IN MY FACE OK??

I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMOREEEEEEEE!!!

GRRRRRRRRR!!!!

*snarls at Cloudy*

WHY THE FUCK EVERYTIME ALSO LIKE THAT! He purposedly one is it??! WHY??? Why do guys always do this to me?! Why??!

MEN! (I am so angry now) Don't you all know any MANNERS at all?

When you try to get to know one girl, you bloody STICK TO THAT GIRL THAT NIGHT! I mean, obviously if you failed you should move on, perferably to somewhere the first girl cannot see you, BUT YOU DO NOT, EVER, HIT ON THE GIRL'S FRIENDS!!!

KAN*INAB*CHAOBYEBYE I am so pissed!

Can somebody explain to me why guys I am even the slightest bit mildly interested in always ends up liking my friends? WHY??

It is so RUDE!!!!! I cannot understand why men are so bloody self-centered all of the time.

I kept complaining to Vyasa and Martin after that, when we had supper at Spize, and the boys were sprouting out rubbish reasons like...

Maybe he thinks you are very kiasu coz you wanna guard the table, and nobody likes a kiasu girl;

Maybe he decided you are too short (because sitting down cannot see height);

(courtesy of Junne, to my fury) Maybe your dancing sucks;

Maybe he felt that he couldn't get you so he moved on (disagree: I was perfectly friendly);

Maybe he was talking to you to get to know Junne in the first place (KNNBCCB);

(Shuyin:) Maybe because he saw you dancing with Martin (oops)...

OR MAYBE HE WAS JUST A JERK. I dunno lar.

And due to his lack of respect, he gets no girls that night - not from our group anyway.

Le Coq, if you are reading this maybe you can solve the "Maybe" mystery and tell me why you would do such an evil thing.

Coz I am so chio, ok? In case you have forgotten, here's one bigass photo:

Men are so irritating!

Ok, ok, I'll go write the damn script lar!

post-note: Read why I am so paranoid/pissed about guys liking my girlfriends.

Read The Full Article

Almost one year after this

Helping Clinton choose his secondary school:

Me: "Ok, how about Fairfield? It's quite big I think... And it's a Christian school..."

*looks at my little brother*

"And you are a Christian right?"

Brother: "EEeeeeeee! Don't want."

Me: "Why don't want?! YOU SIAO AH! I thought you Christian?!"

Brother, indignant face, rolls eyes: "No..."

Siao one, so fickle.

Read The Full Article

A perfect nose

After discovering that Thailand does rhinoplasty for a freaking $300, I've been discussing what kinda nose I should get for myself.

Wahhaha machiam casual shopping... Button? Flared? BULBOUS? whahaha

Shuyin, June and I were singing KTV that day, and SY sang some Feng Fei Fei song called "Zhang sen xiang qi lai" or something... The MTV lady, some model, had a nice ying gou bi! (hooked nose)

I was mumbling to myself, "Maybe I should get an ying gou bi ah??"

And to my surprise June and Shuyin both said, "Yeah, nice!"

WHAHAHAHA

Of course, I'm only talking cock about getting my nose done lar, coz I doubt I have the courage to do it. But it is still fun to talk about! Ahem, so anyway...

Just now Shuyin and I were talking on MSN and I was reminded of the MTV model, so I told Shuyin I'm gonna try to photoshop a hooked nose on myself and see what happens!

BEHOLD:

My original nose. I mean, it's already photoshopped lar, my nose is bigger than this, but it is this flat! (Also check out my bleached eyebrows, they look great!)

This is Paris Hilton, famous for her extremely hooked nose.

NOT THE INDIAN GIRL SILLY, THE BLONDE CHICK.

And thus the photoshop starts...

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.




WAHAHAHA! Almost there

Shuyin says this photo looks like Ann Poh. Ann who? Never mind.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Tadah!



WAHAHHA! Really look like shit!

Stop laughing at me!

Read The Full Article