A cowboy's wedding!

I have an appointment at 2pm tomorrow, and it is 530m now, so I'm just gonna post up some photos from Cowboy's wedding!

I tell you, I had so much fun at JB! Everything is big, spacious, and cheap! SHIOK.

After driving around in Makanguru's car for like hours (thanks for driving us handsome!), we finally arrived at Austin Hills Resort.

I tell you, (suaku) Singaporeans cannot even start imagine how big the place is! SUPER BIG CAN??!

The ceilings are 5 stories high up, but splattered with bird shit! Haha

The wedding reception area:

Big!

We arrived on Friday night, and the wedding was sat night.

Already decorated for tomorrow!

After this, Sandra and I excitedly went to the rooms... GUESS HOW MUCH THEY COST.

You will never guess it! Freaking 50SGD a night, ok! Amazing isn't it?!

And the room is super room with 2 king sized beds!

I went siao coz the rooms are so big! And there are MANY MANY mirrors! I (major vain) was rooming with Sandra (sibeh vain) and Joel (ok vain), so mirrors were very important.

Squishy cushion! What can we do with it?


Shiok!


Or move it to watch pirated VCDS on the TV! (LOTR)


Me + Sandra


What the hell? Joel doesn't look very willing, Sandra.

Day 2: Church!

Eh, most of the photos compromised the anonymity of many bloggers, so there are only two!

The international man of mystery and his ... aww... wife.


Me was designated bubble blower together with Gracie.

Which is good, coz she is super tall while I'm super short, so our bubbles fill the whole place properly. :D

The Wedding!


Radiating from JB's good food!


The bitches (in a good way) from our table! I love the girls!

Table 8 rules.


Cake!

The background is so vast and lovely.


I'm not sure this picture has a point...

Oh... That I am wearing boots! Wahahha.


Me + Sandra again. I love this photo!


Cowboy's pretty wife and a cute boy!

I snapped a photo of Sandra bitching to Nadia.

Notice the hand and also Nadia's Um-yeah-lo-yeah-I-know face. We know they are bitching!

Which is good. Bitching is good. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise!

Me and Joel.

HERE COMES THE BRIDE!


Spot! Minishorts! :D

Of course, everyone took the opportunity to spray cowboy's head with confetti!

Notice how every one else anonymous has a common mosaic while cowboy has a mask like Phantom of the Opera? Coz he is Zeus. I am serious. He may not look like it, but he is.

Array of bloggers ... Any takers?


Our table! (w/o Vincent who was taking the photo)


Grace + me

Grace seems decent enough? YOU ARE WRONG!



See, she tried to touch my boobs!

Enough with the barflies! Now tomorrow.sg:

Cowboy makes 7 but he was busy getting drunk! The pose very boring...

Better! T for Tomorrow.

3rd Day: BREAKFAST!

(warning to the hungry: All food)

Mine


Will you look at Sandra's plate (mid)?

IT IS SO FILLED WITH LIOW THAT WE CANNOT SEE THE NOODLES.

Freaking nice.

DINNER!

Some kampong seafood restaurant!



I'm gonna eat you all, muahaha!


Kangkong! I can eat the whole plate by itself man, I love kangkong.


Sotong


Butter crayfish with fried buns!


Fish before the banquet waitress cuts it. (that's me btw)


Fish after!
I know it doesn't look that clean-cut, but hey, I was using a damn spoon and fork!



And the bestest prawn thingy in the world.

I don't know how they did it. I only know it is orgasmic.

All that for only $13SGD each.

*******************************

On a totally irrelevant note, Momo brought a puppy back that day, for staying over at our place in transit for one day, until it is brought to it's real owner.

So cute.

Eh, don't look at it like the size so small... The shit it shits is super smelly. Stupid dog purposedly chose my room to shit in, kannasai.

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FUCK!

Teban Gardens got murder leh! I damn scared!

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Hate-site owners and their day jobs

I was half asleep today on my comfy bed (great weather, woot!), and suddenly I wondered about what jobs people who set up hate sites do.

I don't mean the one-off kinda blog entry, I mean people who really do up a new URL, and post up rebuttal entries regularly, solely to insult someone --- especially when the someone did nothing to offend you in real life.

I mean, what the fuck man, do you think my most ardent hater is, I dunno, a zookeeper or something? Damn funny isn't it, if he is bathing some elephant and thinking of ways to generate more lies about me?

LOL... Zookeeper. The thought amuses me.

I was just lolling around, still sleepy but smiling a bit, when a giant mascot of JollyBean came up.

It looks something like this:



Granted, Jollybean has never employed a giant green bean mascot to my knowledge, and I am not even sure their logo looks like this, but that's how the creature appeared in my head.

It was walking around Funan the IT mall, and had to give Jollybean balloons to the little kids.

Then it hit me.

It makes perfect sense, really!!! Hate site owners are all giant walking mascots!

I mean, what else can make a human more grouchy and hateful?

Imagine how it is like to be inside a damn bean costume the whole day? And while you know you are not a bean (you are a human bean, guffaw!), you have to tolerate the idea that some kid somewhere thinks you are really a bean.

In fact, the kid might even wanna grind you for soy milk.

Very sad, right?

Sigh! I mean, that's not even bad enough. You have to parade around in a heavy costume, and as if the backside of the bean does not make you look fat enough, you also have spindly short legs and your hands stick out awkwardly like chicken wings.

AND THEN KIDS TRY TO TOUCH YOU.

They trottle over, thinking they are so damn cute and all that, and gently pat your bean ass, looking up into your fake bean eyes.

Sometimes, the older ones thump you, wanting to know if you are hollow. They then laugh, whether or not you are, because they know that if they study hard enough, they don't have to grow up to be a bean.

AND GUESS WHAT??

You have to pretend like you love them!!

SUCKS.

I've never seen this happen to a real mascot before, but I imagine that if a strong enough kid pushes this bean mascot, it will fall to its side, and roll around infinitely.

We are assuming that someone will come and save the mascot, pushing it the right side up again, but THEY WON'T! Because it is too damn funny.

Oh well, maybe they might, but only to push it over again.

MUAHAHAHHA!

So there the bean rolls around, its spindly limbs unable to do anything, and finally giving up, thinking, "Fuck, not again."

It rolls to a stop, and then what happens?

It hears a voice, and it is the bean's ugly girlfriend (the best mascots can get for their low sex appeal. Don't take my words for it. In the Durex Sex Survey, Models were ranked the sexiest occupation, and mascots, the least).

Sadly enough, the bean had rolled to a stop at his girlfriend's feet.

"XLX," she whispers, mortified. "Is that really you?"

She averts her eyes at strangers, who are still sniggering at the sight of a rolling bean.

In a dramatic move, the ugly girlfriend stomps away, crying her heart out. I know it sounds illogical, but do not ask me to fathom how ugly girls function, I have never been.

So yes, stomps off, you know, in the typical hands-wipe-tears, long-hair-fly kinda move you see in shows, except ugly.

In a horrible twist of fate, the bean's final rolling position is the same direction she is running, and he has to look at her flee in horror, her butt wobbling in embarrassment.

The shittiness of his job finally sets in, and he decides to write even more about a random happy person (I think I'm the happiest blogger around, actually), because HAPPY PEOPLE ARE EXACTLY THOSE WHO MOCKINGLY TAKE PHOTOS WITH MASCOTS!

Me with XLX

I know, right.

We all never knew hate site owners have such a sad life, but they actually do.

Imagine, everytime someone wants to fuck them, they think of the mascot costume (bean or otherwise) and get all flaccid.

I know I won't fuck a Jollybean.

Nor this sad, sad looking pack of onions rings.


Editor's note: Wow, read the comments to see the amount of people without a sense of humour!

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Off to JB!

This will be my last post before I leave for JB tomorrow, for silly cowboy's wedding!

And I will be staying over at the sibeh cheap resort till Sunday. Happy!

I intend to buy some DVDs back. :D

I've got nothing really interesting to blog about... Except one silly thought that occurred to me a few days ago...

You know how most girls don't really know what a real orgasm is until they are like, late teens or something? I think in this aspect it is so much easier for boys coz well, once you see the white stuff come out it is definitely a big O.

Simple.

But girls... Nah! Sex is good, but it is not a big O, and until you really get one, you can't define a climax!

And unfortunately for us girls most teenage boys will not know how to help you as well. Sad.

So see, the thing is, once you start getting 'em big Os you will possibly help yourself to them all the time, and by all the time I mean like perhaps 3 or 4 times a week, because orgasms are really the most beautiful thing in the world!

Let's imagine now that a girl only realises what an orgasm really is (and learns how to get it) at the age of, say, 20.

Now, presuming kids cannot climax (any doctor would like to clarify this?), and presuming she hits puberty at 12, that's EIGHT YEARS OF BIG Os WASTED!

If she gets 4 Os a week, that would be ...

4 X 52 X 8 =

1,664 ORGASMS!!!

I KNOW, RIGHT?!

What a ridiculously big amount of orgasms wasted! How much will you pay for 1,600 orgasms, you tell me that.

I know the idea of a 12 year of girl having a climax sounds very perverse, but I'm just saying.

Just a stray thought... Damn, 1,664!

Damn.

So anyway, before I come back, here are some photos!

SLUTTY SHENGRONG'S BIRTHDAY!

30/12/2005. Really slow! People all had their 21st birthdays over long ago.

Don't tell Shengrong, but one of the reasons why we like him is because his house always has a lot of super yummy food!

For example, if you dig in his fridge you will realise he has exotic berries like cherries, blueberries, raspberries, etc, and these are all free for stealing, provided you are thick-skinned like me! MUAHAHA!

A box of blueberries cost like $9 or something, and they are always available at Sr's house! :D

SR getting kissed by his dad, haha


Xiaoyu and I


4J rules!

(With the exception of traitor Ian who went to 4K and had the atrocity to like it)

Sr with Bangzhi and family.

Xiaoyu tells me to tell you all to vote for Bangzhi for Project Superhost.

I heard from Peiying that Xiaoyu is really very ridiculous! Apparently Peiying (who is currently in India... Grr... all my friends are gone) was queuing up in Macdonalds to buy a cheeseburger when she accidentally bumped into Xiaoyu, and Xiaoyu went like,

"PEIYING!!! Why you buying cheeseburger! Do you know, that the cost of this burger can vote Bangzhi many times!!! PEIYING!"

Poor Peiying kena terrorized by Xiaoyu.

Save Peiying. Vote Bangzhi.

Shengrong was posing with his sister and brother, when someone whipped this out:

And they had to follow it!



Sigh, what happened to Sr's cuteness?

.................................................

Two pictures of Shuyin, Wanyi and I at Balcony.




Totally irrelevant, I know.

.................................................

NYE at Civic Plaza



There was a minister present!

I was introduced to Mr Lim Swee Say...

Shuyin took a lousy photo. That woman huh. Normally her photo-taking skills are not bad, but when it comes to important photos? BLUR.

Happy New Year!

Foam snow used correctly: Sprayed upwards, not on faces!

I made a faux pas of putting glitter on to my eyebrows! Haha. But it kinda looks festive, right?

Till Sunday guys, tata.

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Belated Xmas photos

I so need to cool down. I am very, very pissed off by people who are deluding themselves that molestation by these foreign workers are not happening, JUST BECAUSE IT IS SUPPOSEDLY "RACIST".

Open your eyes: IT IS HAPPENING.

Now, you throw me the question of race riots in Sydney and ask me if I would like it to happen in Singapore.

No, of course I won't.

But I can tell you, if a few thousand Chinese have been molesting Australian girls in Australia, then I SEE NO WRONG IN PEOPLE SAYING THAT IT HAS BEEN HAPPENING.

Go ahead. Say these Chinese in Australia are perverts. Say they are unruly, horny, and cannot keep their hands to themselves.

BECAUSE IT IS TRUE, IT IS HAPPENING.

What cannot be accepted, of course, is the assumption that ALL CHINESE ARE PERVERTS.

Just like not all foreign workers are perverts. They aren't all bad. Some of them have families in their own countries, and are here just to work.

The nice ones must not have been in Orchard that night though, because we DID see so many of them molesting and spraying us.

And not to mention, we must not attack these FWs for no reason (like hitting them), just because we are angry at some of them. That, obviously, is racism.

But stating that a lot of the foreign workers in Orchard are molesters IS NOT RACISM, IT IS FACT.

Facts that cannot be denied just because you are scared of being labelled a racist.

Realise that we practice discrimination every single day. We discriminate looks, education, intellect, dressing, and a lot more.

Modelling agencies do not employ the ugly (superifical); Mensa does not welcome people with low IQ (elitism), Platinum card owners do not allow the poor to join their ranks (elitism), SIA does not employ short girls (don't know what this is called) but Ikea alone is wrong in not employing blacks in France to do deliveries?

Is it really ok to discriminate these other things and not race?

Food for thought.

Race is just one more thing we pass judgements on, and it is natural to like or dislike certain races more, based on a board generalisation of what you think of each race. You certainly cannot help it.

BUT YOU CANNOT DO ANYTHING TO HARM THE RACES YOU DO NOT LIKE.

Physically or mentally. Because we understand that not every Chinese has small eyes, nor is every black a rapper, or every American self-important - and any prejudice you have for any race will not apply to the entire race.

Because we understand that nobody can help being the race he is born in.

I do not condone racism, but racism, in my opinion, means not doing anything to harm a person just because he is a certain race.

I think that is the basis we should all work on.

I apologize if some of the comments contain racist remarks - I mass-approved them, and did not read through all, coz it is simply too many. Alert me, and I will delete them.

Enough of this topic, it is making me damn pissed.

Photos!

SY and I went to MoS, with this blog's designer Alan plus his friends!

The fluffy earrings and turtleneck look very christmasy right? :D

See, my tee is very nice! :) I'm Santa's favourite blonde (although I am not blonde, but close lar, though fake)!

We left MoS to go to Hooters to eat... In case you all ever want to go there to eat, 10 chicken wings in Hooters term means 5 drumlets and 5 wings, and not the 3-part sort they count as 1 in hawker centers.

We ordered 10, being mistaken, and had too little to eat. Damn.

Eh as you can see I like my tee.



:)



MoS!

Look, they use Mac. And their poster looks like Paris Hilton, haha.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1, SNOW!!! Merry Xmas!



Shuyin likes it.

After that, it is off to Kelvin's for mahjong!



See, Kelvin really concentrates on his cards.

Just for your info, my least favourite card is the stupid bird (yi shuo), followed by 8 tong, because I think it looks like Buddha's hair, plus I hate blue.

So if you sit after me, I keep your 2,3 shuos and 7,9 tongs coz I confirm will throw it to you if I get them.

And also, of fa cai, hong zhong and bai ban, my favourite is fa cai and least is bai ban. I dunno, I just thought you might be interested.

They had turkey!

Shuyin snapped this shot. My cards must be very good, or Kelvin won't be smiling like that.

We ended our game at an unbelievable time: 11am. -_-

I then stayed over at Shuyin's. I slept at 12pm (Shuyin at 1), and had to wake up at 3pm to go to Weili's auntie's condo for bbq!

I tell you, I was so goddamn tired that day man! Which resulted in me not putting make up. BEHOLD THE DRASTIC DIFFERENCE.

The rest started to barbecue but I saw the bench and promptly slept on it.

Before I zonked out, I snapped a few nonsense shots while lying down, as you can see... To my surprise I managed to get a good shot of Louisa and Lamlam cooking! :D Except, got the kpo Shuyin's hand.

Our food! :D



Chicken wings! Delicious!

Then we started to do boh liao things like these:

We invaded the clubhouse after this, which was occupied by Weili's maternal side of the family. I like his family a lot leh, they are very nice and they all cook superb food!

See:

Tiramisu, chicken curry (with salted eggs!), the jap jellies, turkey, sandwiches, shepherd pie, beehoon, satay, potato salad, and even a cute cousin who tends to the fondue!

MAKES ME VERY HUNGRY!!!! Roarrr! I told Weili I wanna marry him coz of his aunties. :D

The children are very cute too, they are playing some game which requires them to bite apples.

SO CUTE!!

And then see who can form the longest line with personal items!

Haha they look so cute scurrying around.


SY, me, Louisa



With Weili and really stupid looking hat that doesn't flop down.
No wonder I am roaring! ROAR!



Lamlam thinks he is a rapper because he has a hat on a cap. -_-


Everybody (is from CCHS and I feel quite outta place)

And finally, Weili's Xmas present from his parents!

Very cute right? My mom has stopped giving me presents since so long ago. I wish she still bothered.

But then again, I also never give her lar. *sheepish smile*

New year photos soon. And yes, I already called ST. Whether they want to cover the aerosol issue is up to them now. If you know any reporter friends, ask them if they would want to cover this social problem too - that is if you are concerned enough.

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Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, Orchard Road.

Feel free to click on the photos to see the percentage of Singaporeans vs our dear foreign workers.

When I blogged about them, I had no idea how serious the condition was, until I approved all 500 comments, of which around 70% contains stories of girls being molested.

When so many people concur, it is no longer a problem we can just neglect.

I HAD to go to Orchard this year because I was invited to the "Get the Funk Out" party, which was at civic plaza.

Stupid me, I thought that I could go to Civic Plaza through Taka and Wisma, but was horrified to find out that the passageway was CLOSED!! (Ignorance is really terrible)

I walked out of Orchard MRT to meet Shuyin and June, and was more horrified than I ever was in my life.

Girls were huddled tightly around guys, the male ratio to female was 10:1.

Only I was alone.

And the men, Singaporean guys included (though much less), were mostly armed with aerosol foam.

IT WAS NOT FUNNY.

If you think it is funny, please try to imagine the foam on your face, sprayed by a stranger you want no dealings with.

I met the girls a little later, and luckily for us, Idris drove us to Meritus, and we had to walk the distance to the 7/11 outside Civic plaza.

Once we got down the car, we immediately got sprayed.

The distance to Civic was PURE HELL. Immediately all my trauma from my past experiences came flooding back, and I was so fucking scared to be surrounded by so many of them!! Luckily for me, SY was in front of me (she is super brave ok! She kicked the workers when they sprayed her or were too close, with her pointy boots!) and Junne was behind me.

*sobs* [Both my friends said my top was too revealing and an easy target, thus they both tried to protect me (instead of themselves), which was so damn sweet. Thanks guys, you are really hao peng you lar!]

I never ever wanna go back again!

Junne got her ass groped (grrr! FUCK YOU, UNDERSTAND, I HOPE YOUR FUCKING TESTICLES DROP OFF), but SY and I escaped unscathed...

The worst comment I read, was this girl who actually had a foreign worker insert a finger into her vagina.

Yes, it actually happened. According to her comment, the finger went "in once, out once".

IMAGINE THAT.

So Junne, having your butt groped is really not that bad afterall.

When we went out from our party (felt really good not to have those fucking foreign workers there), we walked along and kept being sprayed at, until we reached a group of teenaged bengs (around 15-16 years old), and tagged along behind them.

Their leader was spectacular, I tell you.

He was botak and rather stout, and the four or so boys had two girls with them, whom they were protecting with all their might.

Botak leader walked in front with a swagger, and when the *cough* (I am dying to use the B word) foreign workers sprayed at their girls, Botak would run towards the FWs and shout at them.

Blindly, I held on to the back of his tee, seeking some protection, and he never once turned back to look at me coz I think he really was used to unknown girls being behind him already. Plus, he was always too busy shouting.

Wow, I never knew 16 year old boys can be so heroic.

During a particularly heavy spray, Botak walked towards the FWs (foreign workers) with his chest out and chin high, and shouted,

"WHAT, YOU THINK SINGAPORE GIRL VERY NICE TO TOUCH IS IT?!"

and on that note he chased the FWs away.

Man, he was great.

He and his friends were walking behind their two girls, and they basically protected SY, Junne, another girl (SY's relative we met), and me through the distance, though they were too busy protecting their own girl friends to really communicate with us (but we know they know we were there coz SY's relative and I were both tugging their tees for dear life).

One of Botak's heavy-set friend, the strong silent type, actually went behind the group of us girls, and said in Chinese, "Don't worry, I will be behind you all."

SO SWEET RIGHT?

Strangers, you know?

It is at times of such adversity that we see such differences. Both are men, but such different behaviours.

And we didn't even say thank you to these bengs coz we stopped and they moved on so fast.

If you are reading this, and you are the Botak beng who was walking from Civic Plaza to Meritus with a girl tugging your tee, thank you, and your friends, so much for shielding my friends and I.

I expect a ban of these foreign workers from Orchard or City hall is not going to happen, so I am gonna petition for the next best thing: The banning of these aerosol foam sprays.

You may think I am ridiculous, but if you are not a teenaged girl who went to Orchard on NYE and Xmas Eve, you don't know anything, so shut up.

You have no idea how serious the situation is.

Being blinded by foam, and then molested while you are struggling with the foam on your face - how's that for Happy New Year?

What is chewing gum? Chewing gum is nothing compared the harm of these foam sprays.

You think you can protect yourself if you are with a guy? Or if you are armed with say, a nail file or something?

Well, I doubt it. These sprays can be sprayed from a distance. Even if you want to whack the person who sprayed you, you will be too damn far away.

We cannot let this go on every year! Why should we let them spray us like this? Why should we allow them to touch us?

If you are a victim, or the boyfriend/brother/father of a victim, please help me in signing the petition:

CLICK:

BAN AEROSOL FOAM SPRAYS

Copy the link to your own blog: http://new.petitiononline.com/aerosol/petition.html

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The end of the world

Oh no oh no... I swear the world is about to end. I don't know man, the tsunami, hurricanes, etc, AND IT IS 31/12/2005 AND IT IS RAINING LIKE I HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE!

Except I did.

IN THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW!

We are all gonna dieeeeeeeeeeeee.

If we all die, I wanna tell you Momo, Daddy and didi, that I love you, and to all my friends, I love you too, and to my readers, you all are the best!

It's armageddon too soon.

*****************************

Update: Alright, it seems Shuyin just told me the rain has stopped at her side and I am too dramamama.

Remember when we were young(er), trees used to fall all the time during rain?

I loved seeing trees fall.

I would never admit it, because on the surface I always pretended to be a kind-hearted girl and feel for the birdies and squirrels who might live there, and to a certain extent I DO FEEL BAD FOR THE TREE, but as far as natural disasters go, trees falling are as bad as it can get in Singapore.

This is the massive influence of the media I guess... We see these cosmic tragedies on TV, and we are curious to see how it looks like in real life. I do want to see a hurricane. Not experience it, mind you, but I wanna see it.

I used to tell my mom (as a young child) that I want a flood, and she would smack me and say lots of people might die from it (no food, etc, you know the things parents say).

I told her it will be fun to wade around what! Then we can all live in stilt houses! :D

So yes, back to falling trees.

I analogize that to the innate love in us to see something grand, strong, and stable finally fall. There's just a wretched beauty in such misfortune. Sad, innit?

Back to trees again, has you wondered how come in the late years, trees do not fall down anymore?

I think these trees, the surviving ones anyway, have all grown from little saplings to strong adult trees, just like how Singapore has grown too! :D

But of course some of you will argue some other logical stuff like better planting, etc. Sheesh!

I just watched half of finding Neverland at Janice's place (Grrr!), and imagination is a beautiful thing we should never allow to be bound by society's normalities. :)

Peter Llewelyn Davies: This is absurd. It's just a dog.

J.M. Barrie: Just a dog?

Porthos dreams of being a bear, and you want to shatter those dreams by saying he's just a dog?

What a horrible candle-snuffing word. That's like saying, "He can't climb that mountain, he's just a man", or "That's not a diamond, it's just a rock." Just.

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