Just a lot of photos

Shan's birthday at Balcony and MoS!

I took lotsa photos. :D

Happy birthday Shan Wee!

I don't know about you, but I think people who are tall should be disallowed to wear hats. It makes them even taller, and I think, whenever these tall people like, wear a hat, have spikey hair or wear heels, there should be an apt punishment.

Like making them walk on their knees for 2 weeks.

But anyway, Shan's party was hat themed. -_-

With his 1.9 frame you can see his hat bobbing around in a crowd from like 2,000,000 miles away.

Howard, as good friend, wore a hat as told.


Daphne and me


Tall people with hats, Shan and Christian. Grrr


Jeffy (guy with look of surprise) with Shane and his girlfriend.


Shan attempts to take a photo of me but I caught him first. :)


Clear view of nostrils. Looks clean.

I think long lashes on men are wasted. They should be given to me.


Yas is my favourite DJ, sorry Shan.


Daniel and Jaime. Jamie?
I have no idea which is the correct spelling coz fan sites say Jaime, and mediacorp says Jamie.




I like that bag!


Ding ding ding! Bdae boy makes speech!


People listen.

And off to MoS!

The famous queue


Had to buy a few bottles to get us all in!




Lijun, boyfriend, and me.


I have blonde arm hair, I really do! Haha


Jeffy and Angela




I know. But it's so artistic!




With Howard and his friends


Daphne from Cleo and Justin.


Howard's hat was kinda sweaty.


Shan looks pretty with my phone's dangly stuff.

Mikeller plus me.

I score!

Shan says, "Ok, kiss me!"

Take 1. "AGAIN, it's blur, Howard!"


Take 2. "STILL BLUR LAR!"


Take 3! I SCORE!

Shalala!

I kissed Shan 3 times! Muahahaha! *evil laughter*

(Eh the other girl, Mikeller, is supposed to be kissing Shan too, but I have no idea she abandoned me.)

That's it!

I SCORE! Muahahahahaha did YOU kiss a cute guy today?

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G Mask sponsored me a phone revamp!!

Just nice! I was JUST getting very frustrated with my phone (the pink razr) because so many people are using it nowadays.

So, they were asking me if I wanted a phone wrap, where you kinda put a plastic sheet over your phone to protect/beautify it, and I told them all I wanted was diamantes all over my phone.

Awww... You see, I was in Zouk quite a long time ago, and I saw this Hong Kong actress who was holding the V3... When she told out her phone, it was so bling bling it fucking blinded me.

IT WAS TOTALLY COATED WITH (FAKE) DIAMONDS!!!

Pink and white ones. So nice!

I asked her, "Hey, where did you get your phone done?" and she replied that she sent it to Japan.

-_-

I sian-ed totally coz that's obviously not something I can afford. I tried for months to find such a service in Singapore but no one provided it, so out of desperation, I stick the diamantes on myself with superglue:

January 14 2005, almost exactly one year ago!

It was quite bad coz the glue stained the diamantes and they all looked kinda blurrish. After like 2 weeks, they all dropped off. Bah!

So yes, I told G mask I only wanted diamonds right, and I was quite sure they would say, oh, we don't do that, but it happens that they do!

And they just started to do it too! Yay!

Damn nice right?!

The swarovski crystals are stuck on to a plain, colourless wrap, and then stuck on with super strong glue, so they won't ever drop off.

There were so many colours for the crystals and I was totally spoilt for choice. In the end, I chose dark pink with black crystals surrounding the front LCD.

The crystal "specialist" at G Mask, Angela, spent one whole day doing this! I know how it's like, coz I also stuck on my own diamantes, remember?

It is even prettier in real life than it looks on photos!

I AM SO HAPPY!!! It's like something I wanted for so long, and finally getting it! SHIOK! And free! Thanks G Mask!!

It is super nice! I heard from the guys there that I'm the third person in Singapore to get diamantes all over my phone. The first two were tai-tais. :)

If you also wanna do it, G Mask has an outlet (push cart sort as you see in the first photo) at Plaza Singapura's B1, and also a new outlet at Wisma, third level outside fila. :)

Prices range from $288 and above.

Yay!

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That one question

I was just thinking of this question the other day...

Although I don't believe any religion, I imagine that when I die, I will go up to this place, and it is kinda like immigration customs.

(The reason why it is up and not down is because the place is full of light in my imagination... So yes.)

Now a superior being, I shall, for convenience's sake, call him God, will be there, judging everyone about the life they lead before they are banished to hell, or promoted to heaven.

One by one people queue up for their turn, and God will be sitting there with this clipboard and a grouchy looking assistant beside him taking notes.

There you see? Just like that...!

You know, credible newspapers and all have said I'm racist (I was next Hitler, they imploded!), so in order to refute that once and for all, I have drawn God with an ambiguous brown-toned skin.

It is said that in time to come, every race will fuck every race, so we will all end up this colour.

You may once again argue that I am still racist because I drew the assistant as a black stickman, but take note that the inside of the head is the background colour... Meaning the assistant is, erm, actually transparent.

Some eagle-eyed critics might also argue that since God is wearing white, I am also racist. My explanation is that God's robes (or dress, depending on whether you think he is a woman or man) are made out of the seven colours of light combined ... aka white. Damn, what a cool answer I just gave.

But I digress.

So yes, the assistant and God is not the main point here. The main issue is the damn LCD screen.

Now, I believe that God has this damn good LCD screen, which is even better than Bang & Olufsen's. The one I saw in Hyatt's suite could swivel to wherever it detected movement from (presuming you are the one moving), and stop right there, facing you!

Which is great, but God's is even better.

Now this LCD screen is kinda like a pensieve (Harry Potter lingo), because while we humans have only learnt how to capture sound and sight, the LCD screen boardcasts those two, as well as taste, touch, and smell!

Now I believe that with this LCD screen, God, with that pink clipboard also double acting as a remote control, will play back to you all the times in your life you have sinned.

Now it may seem like a lot of bytes and thus holding up the queue, but remember he is God, so he is omnipotent and can serve many dead people at one time.

So with a little bit of fast forward, God will play back all the times you have cheated, lied, ate animals, masturbated, said God's name in vain, said God's name in vain WHILE masturbating etc etc.

It will be terribly embarrassing although you kinda think you won't see the assistant again, and God... well he already knows everything so what's there to be paiseh about in front of him?

Oh the good thing is, with the LCD screen you can also feel with all five senses what you felt while sinning. Muahahha all those big Os.

So yeah...

And then I kinda believe, that after God showed me all that I've sinned, he will then boom at me and tell me,

"Wendy, to err is human. This is how you have fared in life.

Now I will choose to put you in heaven or hell. As you know, I'm omnipotent and omniscient.

You can ask me one question, and I will answer you via my mighty LCD screen. What is it you want to know?"

Now I presume that this single question cannot be begging God to put you in heaven (or hell, if you are into that sort), but you can ask anything else.

It won't affect whether you go to Hell or Heaven.

It won't change anything. (Ie you can't ask God, "Can you give us world peace?" God will just say no and your question will be wasted)

We also presume that the people you meet in Heaven or Hell will also have gone through this too, so the wiser choice will be to not ask philosophical, non-personal questions coz it is likely someone else did already and you can just ask the general public in whatever section you go to.

Like, Did the chicken or the egg come first? Someone is bound to have already asked that.

Questions you can ask...

For example,

"That time my wallet got stolen in school. Who was the bastard who did it?"

Or

"I saw my best friend's shoes outside my girlfriend's house, but they claimed to be repairing the computer. Did they betray me?"

Or

"Were the votes rigged in Singapore Idol?"

etc etc questions... A thing that you have always wanted to know but never had the chance to.

I've always settled on my one question, but as new affairs pop up I keep changing my questions... I am scared I die soon and have no question to ask, and God will forfeit my chance coz I think too long. :(

Maybe I will ask him to show me my funeral or something.

Oh, how morbid.

What would YOUR one question to God be?

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Nothing...

I just thought I kinda miss seeing my bigass photos on my blog.

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Going MSN crazy

Recently I keep doing stupid things with MSN... That day, I was chatting with Kenny and decided to give webcamming a shot...

To my horror!!!

I present to you, Kenny Sia "without make-up": (Click to enlarge)








So ugly can! Not that I look very pretty myself but at least my webcam sucks so the images are really blur. Haha no hair gel!

Then I was talking to Alan...

Alan: Why got monkey?

Me: It's HUMANS! They are playing Taiji ok!

Have no idea how a circle became so damn ugly!

(If you are asking how to copy images in MSN, its a drag and drop.)

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I know I know!

I suddenly thought of an amazing business gimmick!

If I had the money, I'll go manufacture contact lenses the same colour as Sayuri's!

According to Memoirs of a Geisha, she has blue-grey eyes...

Very nice right?

As far as I know, there are no contact lenses in Singapore which has this colour... Well blue is blue and grey is grey... No blue-grey.

If I manufacture the lenses, I will then have a collaboration with warner brothers or whoever did the movie, then I will erm... I don't know, sell the lenses with free popcorn or something!

"Get Sayuri's eyes!" I will holler at the entrance of cineleisure, waving my lenses around in a mad fashion, until they get beefy security guards to chase me away. With batons! Muahaha!

But too late! I will be fucking rich by then!!

Sorry, sorry, change of situation. Now these security guards will not chase me away, coz you know WHY?

BECAUSE MY EYES ARE TRULY GEISHA! Yes! I will learn to blink them in such a way that the guards will all melt into a meek puddle on the floor. I will then smile in a smug self-satisfied manner and step over the water to continue hollering.

Then after that, I will proceed to use the money I earned to make pink lenses. Now the next batch of lenses will be sold to people who likes Silas in Da Vinci Code, which will be out soon!

With my money, I will set up an MLM company coz stupid people are so easy to exploit.

That would be GREAT!

But well the dream is not gonna come true coz I don't have the capital.

Damn. Bye, blue grey eyes.

Photoshopped

Well if you know anyone selling the colour tell me! Looks nice.

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Excuse me, is that a knife at your fucking throat?

Standards dropping, getting boring, generalisation, Pes C people unhappy, RJ people unhappy, NUS people unhappy. PLEASE LAR, GROW UP and stop behaving like a CHILD.

I don't mean, in my last entry, for a boyfriend to have to beat up a molester - or even rapist. I just want him to be geared up enough to... Oh FORGET IT. People who understand will, and people who don't, won't.

I don't see why people would get so angry over the last entry... Unless you are a wimp, or you have a wimp as a boyfriend and is ashamed of him. If you do not think you/his wimpish actions are wimpish, then that is YOUR fucking perogative and I have all rights to think the way I do. I still want my man to be able to protect me.

You say I am stupid, I'm naive, juvenile, etc ... Guess what, do you get angry with a child for saying something childish? Yes, so if I am so dumb in your opinion, please choose to dismiss my views with a wave of your hand, and stop visiting this dumbass's blog like you love it so much.

For the last time, if you don't like my blog, DO NOT read it. I have plenty of friends from RJ/RI/NUS/Pes C (no friends who are mascots though) and they know I'm joking. Joking doesn't mean it's funny. Joking means I'm not being serious. If you cannot take words with a pinch of salt, then please stop reading this blog.

No really, go away.

Do not ask me to watch my words, be more sensitive. You are the one reading a blog with a history of rudeness. Use less of the word "fuck"? FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. Do you go to a porn site and ask the porn stars to wear clothes? You people are so (prepare for it!) fucking ridiculous.

Do not demand I change my writing for you - it will never happen, because you are insignificant.

And also because, you are not a freaking paying customer. So don't ask for customer service.

Good day.

p/s: To the serious, self-righteous people (only to them!), since you don't like my blog, why don't you go play Where's Wally instead? This game has no awful, hurting, *roll eyes* and "racist" jokes in it. Asswipes.

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There are men, and then there are men.

Remember that night, on NYE, Shuyin Junne and I saw a bunch of bengs who were sorta "protecting" us from molestation and being sprayed?

Well, I was thinking about it, and I told Junne, I wish Kelvin were here, coz Kelvin, Russ, and Tim are totally the sort who will protect their female friends and kick these molesters' ass should they touch me.

And Junne, as usual with her, nodded and said yeah lor.

I chewed on the thought a bit, and told her, "Not all guys are like that."

This time she said, "No, most guys will beat the molester up! Cmon, your girlfriend get touched you not angry meh?"

I told her no. So many guys are not like that... I don't know what is it that they lack, or have extra, but they just don't have this primal instinct to protect the weak, or protect their loved ones.

Maybe it is self-centeredness? Or a lack of male ego?

Think about it girls... Will YOUR BOYFRIEND BEAT UP YOUR MOLESTER?

Those who will, will fly into a rage and at the minimum, scold the person who outraged your modesty.

Those who won't, will pat you on the shoulder, try to calm you down, and say fucking useless things like, "Never mind, next time just be more careful, ok?"...

Or "Shit, we should go to the police. Are you ok? (of course not you chao wimp!) Let's go have dinner and cheer you up."

WIMPS.

FAGGOTS.

I despise guys like that.

They have no balls, whatsoever. Fuck you and your calm, objective logic. If you ain't such a nail-polishing fag, you would stomp the balls of someone bullying your sister, your girlfriend, or your wife.

No, don't give me bullshit like, "Oh, violence doesn't solve any problems..." or "It is not worth it going to jail for just a molester!"

WEAK EXCUSES SAID BY WEAK MEN.

No lady will feel secure with you. Or maybe she will... IF SHE IS A TRANNY AND CAN PROTECT HERSELF.

Are you in pas c and below? You must be. A real man will allow such injustice to happen and need other men (police) to help them! That's just fucking stupid, and makes you a complete loser.

I know, logic states we shouldn't beat people up, because we will go to jail.

So? I'm not asking about logic now. I'm talking about at that spot, at that time, do you have enough testosterone in you to do the innate thing? WHICH IS TO GUARD YOUR TERRITORY?

Wuss.

We girls hate c*ck-sucking wimps. Omg, I hear something, what is it? It is your penis! It is whining about how it is always limp! Sad.

Little boys reading this, when you grow up, don't be a wimp, coz all the other boys will look down on you, and all the girls will pee on you. Just kidding, the girls won't. Coz we won't let you anywhere near us.

Fucking libertarians. Fuck you and your ... society will solve it's own problems bullshit.

It's never gonna happen. Did you get educated in RI, RJC, then NUS or something? CONGRATULATIONS. You have only met the creme de la creme of society, so do not presume the rest of the world is so clever.

Before you decide society is smart enough to govern itself, GO DO BANQUET WAITERING.

I'm serious. When you come out of that place, you will realise how stupid the mass public is. We cannot be governed without laws, with absolute freedom of speech.

BECAUSE STUPID PEOPLE BELIEVE EVERYTHING THEY READ.

Alternatively, you can be a famous blogger. Then, when you read your mails, you will gasp aloud at how stupid some people are.

So yes, back to the point.

Stop being a mama's boy and use your pathetic limp excuses to protect yourself from getting into any harm. You are just a coward and nothing else.

Grrr.

I just hate guys like that.

Nothing. I just suddenly feel a hatred for these excuses of men. Please lar, go and be a tranny, I think you will be perfect.

Can I call you cream puff from now on? Yes, I think that would be a great name. :)

Editor's note: Read the comments and hear the wimps whining their hearts out coz they knew I was talking about them. Ooh, what if molester is bigger sized than me? Oooh, what if I die, I better keep quiet and do nothing! Singaporean men are so disgusting. Cmon, can't you all do better than that?! And stop touching yourself.

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