Beautiful eyes

See, I am so nice.

After contemplating for a long time, I decided to share with you all a secret. That's 30% because I am starting to get irritated by girls asking me how to get my eye make up, and 70% because I am just nice in that way.

Speaking of irritating girls, I really dislike girls who ask me this and that on beauty tips, and when I teach them or try it on them, they go all like, Erm, this is too drag queen/artificial/heavy...

WHATEVER. In the first place, don't waste my time to ask me if you are not willing to experiment.

Type 2 girls keep going like, "Wow, your eyelashes are so nice, how do you do it?"

I say they are fake lashes, and usually, girls will reply, "That's great! I wanna do it too, but I don't know how to put it."

What do you mean by you don't know how to put it?! You think I am born with the talent to glue things to my eyelids meh? I also trial and error before I master it what!

Gah... To sum it up: I don't like it when people are unlearning or lazy. Girls, buck up! It is not easy to look your best, and efforts must be put in.

Or don't. That's great, because only with sloppy girls around can girls who make an effort shine, right?

:)

So anyway, because you girls have been asking how I do my eye make up, here it is...

Now don't give me your stupid comments on how you think I did it wrong. I'm not here claiming to be the expert. I'm just answering queries on how I do MY make up. I know my face best so I don't need big mouths teaching me, thank you very much.

If you wanna learn from me, go ahead. If you think it doesn't look good, too bad, I like it. :)

I know I already have a make up entry quite some time ago, but my style of make up have changed quite a bit, so I thought I might do a different one, focusing on eyes. :D

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Fake lashes.

As time goes by, certain things in fashion change, sometimes caused by certain icons.

Eons ago, small mouths were considered pretty by the Chinese. Zoe Tay changed that.

Flat noses were considered ugly. Fann Wong changed that.

Fake lashes were considered, well, fake, and I suppose the "cheating" element in these synthetic fibres caused girls to feel uncomfortable using them.

What's the difference between mascara-ed like crazy lashes and fake lashes? As long as it is obvious enough it is not natural-born then it's fine, I think. :D

And yes, fake lashes being unsuitable for daily usage. But nowadays, eyelash extensions are so common, and they are so expensive! I don't see how fake lashes are any less unacceptable than eyelash extensions.

I use them (fake lashes) EVERYTIME I go out.

Each lash only costs me $3.90 and they last quite damn long if you take good care of them. I think I saved a hell lot on mascara.

You don't have to curl like crazy, or coat and coat mascara on your poor lashes. The fake lashes are so long, so thick, and immediately add so much depth to your eyes! Shiok!

Here goes!

I found a photo of my original eyes... Quite normal eyes, of course. I think I was laughing madly thus the slanted look. Ha!

But yet, I get compliments from strangers all the time that I have beautiful eyes!

To which I always say, "Oh, they are a lot of effort put in" and smile. Amazing right? Read on.

First step to take will be to put on contact lenses. I prefer coloured ones myself, coz they look more mesmerising, but if you like black you can always use the big-eyed effect ones.

Look how much bigger my eyes look already!

NO, it will NOT be the same if you don't use lens, or use the ordinary transparent ones. Trust me. If you wanna look pretty, might as well go all the way, don't half-fuck around.

Second step draw brows, after putting foundation.

Step 3, put a highlighter colour all over eyelid. Notice how small light-coloured eyeshadow made my eyes look?

That's why I always say, girls who just put one light shade of blue or something over their eyelids are being silly.

Digressing, HAVE YOU SEEN THE STANDARDS OF MAKE UP IN SINGAPORE?

God, it is SO bad.

I mean, most girls just put a bit of pressed powder, slap on an excuse of a light eyeshadow, apply transparent lip gloss, and call it a day, exhausted.

The whole POINT of make up is to make you look prettier, not to bloody add colour to your face. Well ok, that's considered make up too...... for a clown. Unless you are already VERY pretty, there is no point in putting such "light" make up.

Yes, moving on.

Choosing a slightly darker colour, blend into brow bone area.

(As you can see, my normal eyelashes are already quite long and full, but they don't curl much, so I can't be bothered with them, I just use fake lashes)

Yes, I know still looks very ugly... Wait lar!

What a wonderful colour, brown is. Using a dark shade of brown shadow (I recommend you only buy good brands like mac, bobbi brown or anna sui, for the lousy brands like body shop gives no colour whatsoever) and apply like the picture - top and bottom.

Next, crimp lashes! :D If you don't, they will be downturned while your fake lashes are upturned, causing this two pronged look - which is very ugly.

Eyeliner! I use liquid ones myself, and the one in the picture is black. It is important to use liner because the lash line will be black too, and if you don't apply liner your stuck-on lashes will look way obvious.

My fake lashes!

Man, I have SO MANY OF THEM. I think to date I have like 15 pairs, and most of them are from a Korean shop called Dodo club at the basement of Cine. Their lashes are fantastic!

Only $3.90, and it comes in so many styles and a fabulous glue.

I like the criss crossed ones the best! I also have two with silver glitter on the lashes... :D For clubbing!

For our blog entry today I decided to use my shu uemura brown lashes, which are new... As you can see it's not very well trimmed, which kinda explains why the eyes look a bit unbalanced. Grrr

Apply the glue on the back of the lash 'bone' like I did, and carefully stick the lashes to the lash line directly on top of your real lashes.

No, it will not cause your real lashes to drop off if you are careful, and no, if your glue is good it should not drop off during dinner either.

One word of advice though. Try not to stick your lashes too close to the inner parts of your eyes, because it will, for sure, irritate your eyes and make you tear.

If you feel uncomfortable, just peel off the lashes and reapply it again.

The end result:



Now compare that to this:

Pretty good huh? Now apply the rest of your make up and you are all ready to go out. :D

Wanyi: "Wow, you are so good at this make up thing! You should do it full time!"
Me: "Ha! Da cai xiao yong."
Wanyi: "..."

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Advertorial

Well this post is gonna be all about eyes - and to make them pretty I guess who also need them to not be severely infected. Duh.

I think the idea of ever becoming blind is one of the scariest things that can ever happen to me, and I think most people agree that vision is possibly the most important of the five senses, but yet, eyes, being so fragile, are ironically abused the most.

Never mind if you have ruined your eyes watching TV as a kid; it is now still essential you wash your lens regularly and don't let infections happen!

I was given a sample of AMO's Complete MoisturePLUS a week ago for trying, and I am still surprised.

I have perfect eyesight but I wear coloured lens, and I have always only rinsed my monthlies in saline and nothing else. No washing, no nothing! (Which is why I am surprised: I didn't know there were cleaning stuff to do)

Momo wears lens and she uses this strong soap thing to wash her lens, and I once put the soapy len into my eye and jumped like 3 metres. IT WAS SO PAINFUL CAN?! From then on I decided washing lens was not really worth it.

Bah! I told my friends this, they all started scolding me and saying how dirty contact lens can be, especially when you wear make up, etc. June was even spotting a swollen eye to make her point.

So now I got free cleaning solution to use! It's so easy, the multi-purpose solution cleans, stores, and disinfects! Shiok!

Well, I'm sure contact lens users know about the recent recall on Bausch & Lomb's multipurpose solution.

I suppose it is a timely reminder to get people to clean their lens regularly, and take care of the only pair of eyes you have.

Besides fungal eye infections (which is what happened to the 22 people), apparently, as I have read on the press release, there is also something called cytotoxicity in disinfecting solutions.

I know the "toto" part of the word sounds funny but it is not something to laugh about, ok! These excessive disinfecting properties of solutions often contain a high level of cytotoxicity - and that is very dangerous to the cells of your eyes.

Complete MoisturePLUS comes with the least cytotoxicity as compared to all the other solutions in the market.

Which is cool! And it also has taurine, which helps to ... ok, I don't really know what taurine does but everyone knows it's good. Makes your contact lens more comfortable to wear, I suppose.

It is slightly more expensive than the cheapo brands, at around $20 for a twin pack, but you know, spending a few dollars more a month on a safe product for your eyes... priceless.

Remember to wash your lenses properly ah!

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EXTERMINATE THE EVIL THAT IS PARSLEY

As it is I am already a person who gets irritated easily.

Lots of things irritate me: the weather being too hot or too cold, flies, ants, various smells, and ingrown hairs, among many many others.

I don't like to be irritated but I can't help it. I mean, I can put on a false front and pretend I am not irritated, but that irritates me too, so it's kinda pointless.

My friends have to put up with my endless grumbles and I think one of the things they cannot stand is when I complain endlessly about food.

I want to be nice to them and end it once and for all.

I don't know what's wrong with Asians, but we cook great food, and then always decide to grind some grass and sprinkle it generously on top of everything.

We put it on mee sotos, we put it in fishball noodles, we put it on top of steamed fish, we PUT IT FUCKING EVERYWHERE.

IT IS AS IF PARSLEY (OR CORIANDER OR SHIT-GRASS, CALL IT WHATEVER YOU WANT) IS FREE AND IF YOU DON'T EAT IT IT WILL OVER POPULATE THE WORLD.

I know Western foods have parsley too, but at least it is in one big piece and you can just throw it back at the chef's face. That's kinda mean and unreasonable though, because guess what? THE ANGMOHS KNOW PARSLEYS ARE FOR DECORATION NOT EATING.

I also know I have complained about this before, but seriously, I had ENOUGH.

I cannot count the amount of times I have picked through my noodles' soup to get the fucking parsley out of it, and I cannot UNDERSTAND why they have to put it in.

THEY SIAO IS IT?? A survey I have done with many people showed an amazing statistic: AROUND 50% OF THE POPULATION HATES PARSLEY.

Yet, it is striving! In fact, I bet parsley farmers, those SOBs, are earning like trillions daily from plucking awful grass and poisoning otherwise delicious food. Parsley farmers can fly private jets but they all die of bulimia soon enough; parsley is that smelly.

I HATE PARSLEY. I hate it SO MUCH, I actually vomit when I accidentally bite into one.

AND YET, IT LOOKS LIKE A NORMAL VEGGIE. It constantly ambushes me when I least expect it, pretending to an innocent xiao bai cai or something, and delibrately ruining my social life when I start to regurgitate all my food out like a barf machine.

I have all reasons to hate parsley. If it tastes so awful, the least it could do is to differentiate itself from normal veggies. I think a blue-ish brown colour would be perfect for it.

I also hate the people who refuse to understand how much I dislike parsley. Why is it so difficult to understand that different people have different taste buds?

YOU may say things like, "It's ok what, it doesn't have much taste..." in a nonchalant manner and think that I am making a big fuss...

BUT THAT'S YOUR TASTEBUDS RIGHT?

How about this little analogy... Would you like me to put shit into your food? The smell of parsley makes me barf, so does the smell of shit. I have never tasted shit, but I'm sure parsley is worse.

You may also argue that shit is dirty and parsley is not. WHO CARES?! Same shit, different elements.

Ok fine, no shit-in-food analogy.

HOW ABOUT DURIANS NOW? Would you durian haters like bits of durians ground into the food you ordered? WOULD YOU? Would you like to spend 15 minutes fishing out the durian bits before eating? HUH HUH?

WTF.

FUCK PARSLEYS.

You fucking parsleys ruin my life!

I am acting like a drama queen again? And I can ask food sellers not to put parsley into my food?

Scenario 1) How The Fuck Would I Know What Food Comes With Parsley And What Does Not

That day, during a family gathering, the adults ordered zhu chao, and for the kids who did not eat spicy food they ordered prawn fritters.

To my horror, the otherwise yummy fritter DOUGH WAS HALF GREEN IN COLOUR.

The fucking parsley was grounded and MIXED into the DOUGH!

Prawn fritters? Are these sellers CRAZY??

There was no way we could get the parsley out, and all the kids hated parsley, so the dish was left UNTOUCHED.

I should have taken a handmade catapult and pelted the shitballs of ruined prawns onto the chef until he cowers for help and whimpers, "Never again will I ruin food by putting parsley in it, Wendy, never! Oh, not my balls, anywhere but my balls!!" (Me: "FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU")

Scenario 2) The Obstinate Auntie

That day I asked this prawn noodle auntie not to fucking put parsley in my noodles. I told her once, and she feinted ignorance.

I repeated myself AGAIN, because I'd rather be sodomised than PAY for a service and a product I hate. (It's not about it being $3; it's principles)

This time she nodded and said ok.

I hovered around for a bit and decided to let her deliver the noodles to my table. I politely requested again I didn't want the green bits near my food. She nodded again.

When the noodles arrived, it was full of parsley in it.

FUCK THE AUNTIE.

I KNEW IT. I know her type. Everytime pretend to hear, and in the end sell you the same damn default product.

Excuse me if you think that my $3 is too difficult to earn by remembering not to put shit-grass into it, then please let me know, and don't waste the both of our time. I can always look for people who are willing to not put parsley in my food.

I saw the noodles, and seriously, I understand that she can manage to forget my order, because my friends also ordered from her and she was busy. See, I am a nice girl.

However, I did say softly when I saw the noodles, "I thought I said I don't want parsley..." to June, and guess what?

The auntie said loudly,

"HUH? Must put this one then nice to eat, you don't know how to eat prawn noodles!"

OH, SO SHE DELIBRATELY PUT PARSLEY IN IS IT??! Unforgivable!

EXCUSE ME FUCK YOU OK SINCE WHEN IS IT UP TO YOU TO DECIDE WHAT FOOD IS GOOD TO EAT??!

I got SO angry with her stupid, irrelevant, self-righteous statement that I immediately started to flare up, and if I weren't well-controlled enough to wait till I reach home to rant about her online I would have slapped her greasy face there and then.

If I liked parsley I would not have asked 3 times not to put it in ok!?

Fuck man, these aunties are so fucking stupid!



That's it. There's one simple solution. People who hate parsley cannot eat it, but the crazy people who like it can do without it. In future, all food stores should have parsley in a little side petri dish (or not) which is air-tight, and people who like parsley can take their fill from the dish.

This way, nobody accidentally pukes.


- I hate parsley so much, if I had a choice between getting rid of aids and getting rid of parsley, I chose the STD to stay. -


UPDATE: It is bloody parsley and not spring onions. Stop arguing, I know what spring onions look and smell like. It's just that its wet therefore it's all rolled up, and the little light green stems are parsley stems.

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Disappearing blog entries

I don't know what happened, but I remember damn well I blogged a blog entry at Kelvin's place before I left for my cruise trip. But the entry DISAPPEARED.

I was at his place blogging coz my computer refused to be turned on, and I was responsible enough (to my blogders) to go all the way to Thomson so that I could tell you guys I'm not gonna be here for four days.

ALAS!

The entry disappeared!!!

I don't know why!!

And now, Momo inserted the formatting disc into my CPU, and it is working well again.

Wtf? (Which is a wtf in a kinda good way)

So anyway, apologies, people, if you have been visiting regularly but keep seeing the same damn entry! I'm so sorry!

Now, I'm kinda still feeling like my room is waving about.-_- There are so many things to be done, so I don't think I'll blog tonight.

I will be though, very soon!

You guys saw that blog entry right??! The one where I said I am going on Superstar Virgo and that I said my computer was down, and I ended off by saying I am blogging in a Scottish accent?

This is so weird.

YOU SAW THAT ENTRY DIDNT YOU? WHY IS IT DELETED??

p/s: Oh, so this is the reason.

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Don't offend women

Sandralicious says:
IT IS CNET EDITORS' CHOICE LOR

Sandralicious says:
I LOVE MY PHONE

XX says:
hahahha

XX says:
good lorrrr

XX says:
what's the good function

Sandralicious says:
THE MOST BO LIAO FUNCTION IS

Sandralicious says:
IN THE DARK

Sandralicious says:
WHEN U PRESS THE BUTTONS

Sandralicious says:
THE KEYPAD WILL LIGHT UP

Sandralicious says:
BUT IN LIGHTED ENVIRONMENT

Sandralicious says:
THE KEYPAD WILL NOT

Sandralicious says:
IT IS OF NOT MUCH USE

Sandralicious says:
BUT MY KEYPAD HAS SENSOR!!

XX says:
lol

XX says:
skarly in the end

XX says:
tbe sensor waste as much battery as the lights

XX says:
whahahahahaha

XX says:
then is utterly pointless liao

Sandralicious says:
whahahha

Sandralicious says:
the point is

Sandralicious says:
GOT SENSOR LEH

Sandralicious says:
i is stupid and shallow.

Sandralicious says:
i like sensors

XX says:
heehee

XX says:
me too

Sandralicious says:
its just a v nice phone la, 2.0 megapixels cam, can do video call

XX says:
the electric kind they use to scan u in airports

XX says:
makes me horny

XX says:
SPREAD UR LEGS

XX says:
YES SIR

XX says:
been a naughty girl huh?

XX says:
WHATS THIS??

XX says:
DRUGS!

XX says:
NO SIRE ITS JUST POWDER CANDY

Sandralicious says:
i called my fren who was buying food at mac. and asked him to show the counter guy the live video thing

XX says:
Oh no u are gonna get it from me young lady

XX says:
No, please!

XX says:
YES!

XX says:
*beep beep beep bleeeeeeeeeeep*

Sandralicious says:
and i screamed MAC SUCKS! THEY CAN GO SUCK COCK AND DIE

XX says:
wah u totally ignored my little play

Sandralicious says:
whaha i typing halfway ma

XX says:
hahhahaha

Sandralicious says:
kinky lor that one

Sandralicious says:
i prefer more violent one

XX says:
lol

Sandralicious says:
electric collar

Sandralicious says:
or baton

XX says:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sandralicious says:
whahaha

XX says:
wahhahahahhaha

Sandralicious says:
tie the collar around his neck

Sandralicious says:
and cock

You cannot send a Nudge to your contact because he or she is using a version of Messenger that does not support this feature.

XX says:
SANDRA!

XX says:
lol

Sandralicious says:
let him watch porn. if he get a hard on just press the button and dian4 his cock

XX says:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sandralicious says:
do that continuously for 3 days

XX says:
whhahahahhahahhaha

Sandralicious says:
or better yet attach a rope to his cock. middle of the rope is a lever and the other end is a knife

Sandralicious says:
then tie him to the chair

Sandralicious says:
and let him watch porn

XX says:
SANDRA

Sandralicious says:
if he gets a hard on the knife will poke into his chest

Sandralicious says:
its like SAW 2 leh

XX says:
u are really terrible lar!!!

XX says:
far worse than me

XX says:
i give up

Sandralicious says:
whhaa

Sandralicious says:
don't pretend

Sandralicious says:
i know u secretly like it lor

XX says:
no lah

XX says:
not the knife poking into chest!

Sandralicious says:
hmm

Sandralicious says:
ok

Sandralicious says:
if he get hard on

Sandralicious says:
the other end if [censored: It's a blogger]'s labia

Sandralicious says:
if he get hard on

Sandralicious says:
the labia will inch closer and closer to him

Sandralicious says:
then he will have to smell leh

XX says:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sibeh gross leh you!

p/s: I don't like disclaimers but this has to be put up because there are people without a sense of humour around. Sandra and I were JUST JOKING.

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I so wanna laugh

I found a photo taken during Singtel's moblogging competition a few years ago... I must say, I look quite different now huh? Anyway, that single contest must have held the most hypocritical people that can squeeze into a contest, ever.

Anyway, I was laughing at the photo, one of the girls in the photo claims she is a "full-time model". Except, of course, she has the face of a pimpled cow and the tits of a 12 year old child.

Her face is a canvas for the vivid imaginations - and brings to mind the dry landscape of an abandoned minefield. A geographer would say it reminds him of potholes; a cynic would say in indignance, "It's just the many severe scars of a great many pimples".

This quality makes her look like she aged 20 years... Not that it bothers her - her lovely smile more than accentuates her looks! That killer smile turns most on... the thin downturned pout of her lips symbolizes a stinginess most men would desire in the best housewives.

Combined with the weird non-existance of a chin, which slopes down to a neck too long and then drooped shoulders, her beauty is now almost complete.

Except it is not really complete, not without a mention of her lumpy pear-shaped body with the patchy looking yellow skin.

They say eyes are the windows to the soul. Cloudy malicious souls perhaps lead to small, lifeless eyes then, whose darty, ratty, little movements signifies the things the person is up to... Backstabbing, sucking up to famous people, doing anything to gain for herself a little piece of fame... You name it.

I so wanna laugh.

She is a full-time model? Allow me to jump for joy - for only in Singapore can such atrocity happen! But then again, this full-time model must not have been very famous, for we have all not seen her photoshoots anywhere.

LOL.... Full-time model yes... So are the rest of the hobos in the world.

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Strange

Today I swear I saw a squirrel cat. I mean, I thought it was just a kitten, so I stopped to look at it (feeling particularly attracted to cute things recently due to this website), and it scurried away, scared.

It stopped at an opening of a drain (the semi-circle sort along road kerbs) and then I saw its tail!

Totally like a squirrel's! Bushy and everything. BUT THE BODY OF A KITTEN!

I don't know what's wrong with me, but immediately when I saw that, I thought of a male squirrel with a female cat (cats are always female), and there, their spawn.

The idea of it is quite sick.

I wonder if animals really cross screw like that? I mean, I know horses screw donkeys and everything, and the results are called mules. THERE IS ACTUALLY A BABY! Inconceivable! Speaking of inconveivable, the offspring of these mixed breeds can't actually produce any offsprings of their own.

OMG SEE ZEBRA + DONKEY. It's the cutest thing, looks like it is wearing leggings.

Any of you ever feel the urge to like, screw chimps or something?

Ok, I'm writing rubbish. I'm so tired! I'm gonna sleep.

GOOD NIGHT ALL! :D

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GAH!

I didn't even realise it is Valentine's day today until Kenny asked me if I had a date for later and I found it very weird that he's asking.

Well, screw stupid cupid.

I don't like V day.

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