Might have noticed a drought of pictures recently... Sorry, here they all are, at one go!
So exciting, this is my first year to be invited as a member! I thought it would just be a normal clubbing day, but apparently, from 9pm till some time later only members can go in, with one guest.
The dress code was ballroom chic! By ballroom chic they meant Victorian, but few people dressed like that.
Me, just wore my little black dress, with thigh high stockings and green velvet pumps.
I wish I didn't. When I arrived, it was apparent all the girls also had nothing to wear and settled on their little black dresses too. GAH!
Oh yeah, the "wig" hair. It is not a fucking wig, dammit. I cut my fringe recently, but as of now, I am already bored with it and it is thus pushed to the side.
The colour is by Kimage of course - ashy green.
Woohoo!
The guard agreed to a photo
There was a special entrance to go into, and look, red carpet!
With a cam crew no less...
Walking walking...
"Why must you girls always be taller than me, why?!" "I, I..."
Inside, it was packed to the BRIM.
I was thus informed there were thousands of Zouk and Velvet members all present, and each has one guest with them.
We had trouble manoeuvring from place to place and I felt quite suffocated actually. :( Can't wait for clubs to ban smoking!
Me minutes later, flushed with alcohol
With Qihua
With Max and his friend from the states
With Max and Janice, who just came back from Gold Coast!
The photos of that night shall end abruptly here. Because lao niang started puking.
Stop laughing!
It is not funny!
Ok, I drank a bit of alcohol, on an empty stomach, and the super packed crowd was simply overwhelming la!
Imagine breathing in so much smoke (you smoking fuckers) and seeing someone's chest to your face everywhere you turn (due to my height). How's that for comfort?! I puked twice and went home at the shamefully early time of 1am.
Don't tell anyone. Nobody will respect me anymore in the club scene.
My fingernails are very long.
The PINK PARTY (not the colour, the singer)
It so happened Rosalyn and Max co-hosted this party, so I was told to come dressed as Pink, and I might, said a very excited Rozz, stand to wish a pair of tickets to go to Tokyo!
Wah, shiok!
Unfortunately, I thought to myself that it is impossible to be able to win such things, so I only donned on a punkish top, made my fringe stand, and drew a few tattoos on myself.
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ROAR!
Complete with the mole can! Look like Pink or not?
Janice does she best impression of Pink
So does Russell.
Oei Kelvin, your turn leh...
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Kua kua kua so boring
We were all shown the making of Pink's video
Kelvin was pulled on stage to answer a question
Next up, all the contestants!! INCLUDING MOI
See the drag queen in the middle? He came in a full costume as a school teacher, a scene in Pink's Stupid Girls video! My goodness, how to compete against that?
Me
Him
Obviously he won.
I didn't do too shabby too! I won second runner up!
WHICH IS A MOTOROLA V3 I!!
Woohoo!
I'm selling it! More about that at the bottom of the post.
Winners and hosts! The guy at the left is the second prize winner, and he won one more cd than I did.
Oh well.
Is it possible I am finally sick of cream sauce? I don't think feel a craving looking at this pic...
Kelvin is....
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Siao.
Tim says, Stop your nonsense
Russell says, HEEHEEHEE
with Momo and didi!
Spunky hair
Our beef brisket noodles
My fav Xiao long baos
Dunno what this is called but I don't quite like it
This Clinton very annoying, everytime take photo also refuse to laugh!
Had to force him
After that, I met tomorrow.sg's editors, and this bought me this cake!
Unfortunately, there was only space in my camera enough for this one pic.
Momo cooked Lotus seed soup and it is delicious!
She took out a bowl for me, and said, "Girl, you see mummy choose got one heart shape one for you." and she proceeded to laugh to herself.
-_-
But kinda cute.
Waiting for Eileen at the lobby of Fullerton hotel!
She is very nice la... Every birthday I get an expensive treat. It is almost worth it to grow older.
I say almost.
Wore this top from Forever 21... It has whalebone in it, like a corset!
"Oei Eileen, pose leh!"
"Ok"
"You want me to take for you also?"
"Ok lor... But if I follow your pose very boring hor?"
Ignore that expression, I actually quite like the place.
It's at the top of the Fullerton, so you can look down into our landscape.
Eileen pondering over food
YUM
We both had foie gras for appetizers!
Was good. :D Sigh of satisfaction.
Seen a perfectly happy girl before?
Yes, that's me:
I have good food, good friends, a good boyfriend, a good family, a good hair day, no deadly disease, and I am pretty well off at the moment! Nothing to be unhappy about, really.
The restaurant gave us some strawberry champagne sorbet, free!
It is very, very delicious.
They also gave our starter free too, but that wasn't too nice - like prunes with orange peel and unknown cubes of meat.
My main course!
Pasta with smoked duck and dunno what!
I was damn shocked when it came looking like this... Machiam spring roll. It's not too bad, but I was really very "gerlat" from the foie gras, so I didn't touch much of this...
Eileen liked it tho, so she ate most of it.
I ate hers...
Piglet!
Very delicious can!
After this we were served free petit fours!
Don't you just hate it when you bite into a chocolate, and it is something you don't like inside?
Well, make your guess to see which one you will pop into your mouth first, and then put your mouse over the picture, wait for a while, and the answer will come out.
None of the chocolates were very nice. I don't like dark chocolate.
After (Eileen) paying the bill, we went to the rooftop!
Nice huh? We played around there for some time before I noticed the vague shape of the waiter who brought us up still standing at the stairs waiting for us to go back.
We apologized, and he said, "We always do that Madam, because the railing is very low and it is dangerous... sometimes our clients are a bit tipsy."
Awww... So sweet.
Tried to snap a shot of the night lights so I switched my camera to night mode...
And as usual it failed me! I don't know why, but it seems that whenever I take night shots it gets blurry like this.
Tried another mode...
Sepia, nice!
Eileen tries too
We walked across a bridge within the hotel...
Pretty!
And us too. :D
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Thinking of getting a new phone?
I have a v3 myself and so I am selling the one I won in the contest.
100% brand new, still in box.
Motorola V3i
Specs here.
If you want it, here's what you can do.
This is a closed bid auction - which means that if you are interested, you email me with your best price, and if it is the highest by the closing time, I will sell it to you.
The starting bid is $450 - which is kinda the market price, I think. I won't entertain offers of any lower than that.
Kelvin says I should offer to sign the box. I cringed at that (coz I still don't think I'm a real celebrity), but if you'd like me to, I'd do it.
Buyer has to meet before 12 of May in town.
Auction closes at 12 midnight on Sunday.
I will only respond to bidders who leave their real names and cellphone numbers. I'm not interested to deal with anonymous people.
Good luck - and my email is xiaxue@gmail.com.
p/s: Do not leave comments saying you want to buy the phone for X price. I said clearly EMAIL me.
58 photos
Big kiss to all my friends
I had a great long birthday! On 27th, the day before the big day, Momo brought me out for dinner at Crystal Jade's, and we had loads of xiao long baos.
Then I met up with tomorrow.sg's bloggers to discuss adding editors to our team, and they bought me a cake! So sweet. :D I also got a slab of Meiji chocolate from Angelique! Thanks babe!
The Singapore Govt also loves me, and gave me $800 for turning 22. Teeheehee! Yah I got $800! I live in the armpit of Singapore afterall, in a bloody 3 room flat. I deserve more man, for the sheer inconvenience of staying here. Pui!
Speaking of that I wonder how much our minister's sons will be getting for their progress package? They should get zero!!!! Muahahha
On 28th I woke up to Mike wishing me a happy birthday at his 3am (my 2pm), and stayed at home till evening, where I met Kelvin and the boys.
While we were at cafe cartel in Cine, I walked pass this table, minding my own business and all, and I heard a resounding voice saying, "Wow, her legs are really short!"
Which of course my legs ARE indeed very short, but that's still not very nice, especially on lao niang's birthday!
So anyway, one girl commented, "Can you be any louder?" and the table erupted into childish laughter. Damn, I was cutting bread and should have casually tossed the knife into their faces.
I turned around to have a look at the people who were so rude, and got a shock of my life: They were all freaking ugly!
I felt slightly pissed at first at the comment, but when I saw how they looked like I just felt really affronted, coz I think the worst insult in life is to have an ugly person comment on your looks.
GAH! Judging from the stumpiness they emitted just sitting on Cafe's seats, they all aren't tall either.
Ok fine, I can't really tell their height, but you forgive me for that, coz they were really ugly - like distractingly so. Oh well.
I briefly considered going to the guy and telling him that I felt hurt by his remarks, but I thought, well, being seen talking to ugly people might affect my social standing. Sigh.
After this we went to watch The Wild, which is 90% similar to Madagascar. It gives me the impression that some spy from Disney stole The Wild's idea and sold it to Dreamworks, and the latter, in double-quick time, did up the film and sold it first, leaving Disney pissed and with no choice but to add in a Koala and two cameleons, only to boardcast their original film 1 year later.
Still, it was rather entertaining. The Koala had an English accent and that's always funny. :D Sounds so prissy.
After this we went to Qihua's place to play mahjong where I won $12.
Sleep.
Next day, 29th, met Sandra and gang at West Mall for dinner. I ate damn xiao long baos again, I'm hooked to it.
Speaking of xiao long baos, I hate to eat with virginal xiao long bao eaters, coz I feel obligated to protect them from being burnt when they put the damn dumpling into their mouths wholescale, where of course, the dumpling will burst with a violence and burn them to death.
I remember I brought Mike to Ding Tai Feng and despite warning him that the seemingly innocuous dumpling contains a dangerous amount of boiling hot sauce, he still burnt his tongue. -_-
I told Sandra this and she said that it is necessary for virginal xiao long bao eaters to burn their tongues, so that they will remember the experience forever! Haha!
In this case I shall cease to warn people in future. :D
I asked Momo how to cooked xiao long baos, you know, to make the meat juice stay inside like that, and she said she didn't know coz some people say it is to insert a frozen piece of soup into the dumpling then steam it, or it is also possible they leave a small hole on the top of the dumpling, steam it, put the soup in, then seal it up.
Ah, everyone loves a mystery.
And damn, I love xiao long baos, the yummy things. Don't let me see you or I'll gobble you up. Heeheehee.
After eating we played Mahjong again, and I lost $19.
30th, I met up with Shuyin, Wanyi, ZC and Alvin for Birthday Brunch at Seoul Garden in Bugis - which was plain terrible.
We booked for a table for six people, but it was utter chaos there, and just to settle our reservation for a table of six took around 20 mins: 10 to search for our names, and 10 to set up the table.
The place was extremely noisy, annoying and crowded, due to the outlet (according to Alvin and I'm not sure if this is true) selling their dining services to big tour groups.
CAN YOU IMAGINE EATING LUNCH WITH SOME HUNDRED CHINA TOURISTS ALL SNATCHING THE BUFFET FOOD WITH YOU??
God I couldn't take it.
The lady at the counter (in black) then told us to pay money first before eating, as it was their restaurant's policy.
I told her I don't know yet if our friend (Weili! You cock) was showing up yet, and it would be ridiculous to pay for him only to not have him show up later.
She said it was ok to pay for five people first, then in this case, she will have to give us a table for five people.
I asked her what's the difference between a six-person table and five-person table, and she said that if there are six people, you apparently split into two tables and use two bbq pan thingys - if five, just one table.
I then said obviously we need the six people table (the restaurant was packed and to add a table later on if Weili comes was impossible) and she said she cannot do that.
I said, "Then what if my friend comes later, where does he sit?" and she merely shrugged, her body language clearly saying she doesn't care.
Ridiculous, coz firstly, we did book a six-person table so that table should be ours, and secondly I don't see why we have to pay for an invisible person if he is not sure if he is able to come yet.
I begin to get really pissed off with her attitude, coz she was obviously trying to applease the tour groups by trying to give one of our tables to them. I, on the other hand, cannot care less if the tour groups get so hungry they choose another restaurant - coz we fucking booked our SIX-PERSON table first.
The lady stepped back in and discussed with someone inside.
She then told me repeatedly to understand that their restaurant is very full (not my fault and I don't care) in a very curt voice, and seemed unwilling to give us a six-person table, so I told her off and said I cannot understand why we cannot get our table since we booked for it!
There you go, I hate such people. Now, apparently, she had just spoken to her boss or whoever right, and the person gave the go-ahead for letting us pay 5 and sit 6.
But she, being very witty I'm sure, had to begin to adhere to my perfectly reasonable request by lecturing me of my lack of empathy for their restaurant's crowdedness, and made me think she was being disagreeable to my request.
If only she started by saying "Ok miss, I have checked with the management and they said it is ok", no one would get upset.
But no! Some people think just coz they are older and perhaps a supervisor of a restaurant, they get all the power to lecture their customers.
After I said my comment, she put her palm to my face, and said, "Miss, I am giving you the table now, ok?" in a very loud voice, and continued by saying, "I don't want to argue with you, ok? THERE IS NO NEED TO ARGUE." and she snubbed me!
How rude is THAT??
Wanna give people money still must see their face ah?!
After this we wanted to pay our bill right, and it was a freaking $119 for 5 people!! That's $24 for squeezing with a gazillion tourists, and getting this kinda shit attitude!
And guess what? When we booked the place, we were told it was $15.90+++! Wow, what a steep steep 50% increase, huh??? Triple plus my ass, you might as well just say double that price.
We wanted to pay (Alvin Lam and I had like $110 between us, just not enough), and I took out my nets card, and guess what?
THEY DON'T ACCEPT NETS.
We left the place, and I am presuming I will never return again, and neither should you go there either.
If you are reading this, Seoul Garden's management, you can try telling that lady in black gently that if she does not have the right service attitude, she should try being a bus driver instead - coz that is one job where you can get grumpy at. *roll eyes*
When I was a waitress I was never so rude!
(Not just me! Check out the reviews here.)
What a bad experience. We went to Billy Bombers instead, where, erm, I kinda got into a food fight with some people. But that amazing story is for another day.
Meanwhile, I'm gonna go watch The Return of The Condor Heroes, the 1995 version by Louis Koo before he got too tan. Yippee! The show is super great and I bought all 20 episodes for $35! Cheap cheap!
Come First of May, Eileen will be treating me to fine dining (my god sis is the best!), and I think I will force her to go watch Aquamarine with me! :D Love chick flicks.
And foie gras, omg.
5 days of birthday celebration, shiok! :D
Tata now readers!
Mike's having exams. :(
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Updated: I saw something which really grossed me out after mahjong at Qihua's place!
Kelvin drove pass some private houses near Lentor Ave (where Casuarina Curry is? I dunno for sure which road it is, I'll check with Kel again) and just outside the houses was a green patch of grass, which proudly stood one telephone booth.
The booth is transparent, and Tim said, "WTF!" and we all turned to looked at the booth, and saw a foreign worker man inside (likely bangladeshi).
He was, in broad daylight, dry humping a girl!! His hands were on her hips and he was pulling her close to him, hugging her and rubbing his crotch against hers.
We saw all these very clearly coz we stopped just beside it during a red light.
The man then hugged her tight, and the girl was behaving like very squirmy, so I was very startled and thought she might be being raped.
She then walked out of the booth into our clear view.
A Filipino/Indonesian maid.
That is still not so bad.
BUT.
SHE WAS CARRYING HER BOSS' BABY IN HER ARMS.
WHILE
THE FOREIGN WORKER HUGGED AND KISSED HER.
THE FREAKING BABY WAS IN BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM!!!!!!!!!
Can you imagine that?!
Imagine if that is your child, being hugged by an unknown man with an erected penis??
MY GOODNESS!
I was so so so so so angry with the maid, I seriously considered going to scold her, but the boys were only interested in their breakfast, so I guess it is inadvisable for me to go alone.
WHAT THE FUCK!
Can you imagine if that is your baby and your maid did that??! What else is she capable of?
I am so so so so traumatized. The slut had a pram just right beside her, and she had to fucking hug that scum while carrying the baby.
Well you people living near that estate I am talking about better look after your maids. She was at the phone booth at around 10am in the morning I think. Goodness knows what the foreign worker would do to that baby.
GRRRR! Very traumatized.
Fans my ass
I've been fucking irritated by one cb reader recently, and I don't know much about her, but I do know she's a loser.
I mean, while she was a "fan" she was nice to me, so of course you don't tell people in their face that they should get less obsessed about a stranger's blog and start living their own meaningful lives, but since she is no longer feeling positive about my blog, I might as well say this.
I know you are like 15, but that is no excuse for being practically a stalker.
Let's call her Knob Mushroom. (I'm recently very obsessed with Kingdom Of Loathing!! It's really fun, go try playing it. Woot!)
Now Knob "discovered" my blog around 3 months ago or so, and there she is, singing praises about it and how clever, insightful and pretty I am. She claimed to be my biggest fan, would leave an average of like 3 freaking comments per post, yakking meaningless rubbish about how cool and perfect Xiaxue is.
I'm like... is this person a siao ding dong or what? *frowny expression*
Then came one fine day, where my "biggest fan" read the archives, and read something she didn't like.
*cue civil war music*
It was this post, and she particularly did not like the little snippet of me saying I saw a Mosque worker who apparently knew nothing about his own religion. ("Is there free will?" "What is that?" *explains free will* "Oh, there is no free will.")
She wrote me a long email, claiming to be now my "ex-fan".
When I say long, I mean long.
The gist of her mail consisted of her telling me about how she really believes in her religion and that her God is all sacred - which I'm sure is very interesting and all, but I AM NOT INTERESTED.
Who gives a flying fuck about your life story? NOT ME.
The final little conclusion of her mail? Teaching me how to blog:
If you want to become a successful blogger for many years to come, here's a S U G G E S T I O N: learn to give some space in respecting others religious values.
I love how she wrote like she is the grand master of blogging and is bestowing some fruits of wisdom to me.
No really, fuck off.
I replied her:
If you read carefully enough, I am simply saying that the man I talked to was bullshitting about Islam and what he said was not true.
What the hell are you so angry about?!
Look what she replied:
Knob Mushroom Jan 6
well... I apologize for my part. I guess I misunderstood and mis-interpreted... Well, can u blame me? u shud've stated things more clearly.. aiizz... well it's ok. it's ur blog, im the one reading. i just felt upset ok. im quite religious, i don't like people making insensitive comments regarding Islam ok. its nothing to do with my sense of pride, i just don't like it when people write as if they are turning God's word around.. well, if what you say is true, i apologize for my outburst. maybe that was rude of me too. i was very disappointed though when i got angry. because i really liked reading your blog entries... well....
One word:
What the fuck does she mean by "if what you say is true"? Can't she fucking open her fucking eyes and read the fucking blog entry herself?
For goodness sake if you are incapable of understanding simple English, don't act like you can, and attempt to correct others.
Man I hate these fucking religious bigots - as long as you are not in their religion and you mention their God, they get all jumpy and think you are trying to insult their faith.
Fuck off from my face, seriously. Not everything is about you, and nobody was trying to say any fucking thing about your religion, unless, of course, you, like the idiot I spoke to, agree that there is no free will in Islamism?
Well anyway I couldn't be bothered about her, and there we go again - she started being the biggest fan once more.
Suddenly, she is back being the biggest EX fan again, after yesterday's entry.
*roll eyes and snorts*
Stop it - do I give a shit whether you like me or not? YES - because you are quite significant due to my grand total of 5 readers which I cannot afford to lose.
All those muthafucking comments on the last entry saying you are disappointed in me - what is it that you are so fucking disappointed about, may I ask?
Do you know me very well? Am I your son whom you have recently found out has gonorrhea?
Disappointed, disappointed. Disappointed you fucking ass la, why don't you go eat shit instead?
(I wanted to insert a picture of someone eating shit here, but the pictures I found in google are seriously disturbing.)
You don't know me, so there is nothing to be disappointed about - and even if you are, don't tell me to me like it would matter, coz it doesn't.
I mean, it does matter in the sense it pisses me off, but not in the sense it hurts me.
Because you fucking self-proclaimed biggest "fans" are all idiots anyway.
Please tell me how I am supposed to continue blogging, when everything I say someone will be unhappy about it?
Today it's about my lack of compassion and Knob mushroom gets all mad, tomorrow it would be about Kingdom of Loathing and some Neopet fan will be all like,
"Wow Xiaxue, I am so disappointed in you. I thought you would know better than to like KoL over Neopets. That game is violent. I was once an avid reader, and now, I won't read your blog any more."
Yeah yeah fuck off and don't come back.
Or or like, "Xiaxue, I find you increasingly sensationalised. I think this angry post, which you cannot possibly be sincere about, is trying to create controversy once again. I am so disappointed in you, I thought you better."
Or, "Xiaxue, you are so predictable. After a controversial post, you will post a follow-up dissing people who comment meanly, and that is a sure way to get new readers."
To this I say, WHATEVER.
You think advertisers really care if I get 10,000 or 20,000 readers? Let me tell you this: They don't. Because xiaxue.blogspot.com has already established its brand name, and I don't need to create controversy for the sake of increasing my readership.
If I were interested in doing that, I would have blogged about Tammy, or Dawn's surgery, or now, Colin and Kero.
But I am not interested their businesses unless it affects me.
I only want to air out my thoughts.
And newbies here who find this post remarkably gutsy and want to claim you are my biggest fan now, why not you go play with your labia instead (that's for you boys too)?
Don't be a fucking turncoat and act like you know me so well and like me loads, then proclaim how appalled you are 3 months later, like I did something totally out of line.
What's there to be so disappointed about that I am not as compassionate as the average human? It's none of your business unlike I delibrately hurt people - which I don't.
And also, stop saying I contradict myself. I already said I have mixed feelings about my thoughts on natural selection.
Fucking fans. Go idolise someone else.
And Knob Mushroom?
FUCK YOU, STUPID BITCH.
Stop acting like you are so sad that I am now a flawed person and I can no longer be your "blog idol". It's damn disgusting can?
p/s: To the superficial people who only wanna see photos, I am editing now. However, Knob Mushroom's face keeps popping up (looks like a mushroom, of course), and I am feeling angsty so I am drawing black lines all over my friends' faces. They look like they are cursed by The Ring.
p/p/s: One more thing: I never thought the previous post was controversial. I thought most people would think that way. Guess I'm wrong, you hypocritical kind people, who did not donate your life savings to African orphans. Nor your kidneys. I wish you did. Both of them. Muahaha Read The Full Article
Survival of the Fittest
Some time ago Wong sent me this email:
Dear friends,
This is not junk mail. It's my personal reflections. Last night, I watched a documentary on BBC about the plight of Congolese children who are being accused of witchcraft called Kindoki. I felt really strongly and interested about it and forgive me for sounding preachy, but I would like to share my sentiments with all of you.
The history or what I know of it
Recently, in Congo, there is a sudden surge of Revivalist Churches in Kinshasa, capital of Congo. These revivalist churches preach christianity to the Congolese who originally had African tribal traditions and religions consisting of witchcraft and whatnots. I only caught the later bits of the documentary, but basically church workers started accusing young children of having kindoki (i think some form of devil or something).
The rampant abuse of children
Kids who were accused of kindoki had to receive "deliverance", if not they will not be cured. The result, parents started abandoning their very own kids accused of kindoki on the streets. As to the issue of deliverance, I watched some scenes of how rituals were conducted to give deliverance to kids who were 5-8 years old and believe me, it was very very brutal and scary: They rubbed chilli peppers in the eyes and body of the young child and pour salt water in their eyes. I even saw the so called "healer" who is a full bodied 40ish year old African man STOMPED on the body and the stomach of children aged 3-5, claiming that the evil spirit must be stomped.
The psychology of the abused children
What I found even more disturbing was that children were WILLING to be abused by the church workers in the name of Christ. I remember a scene where a little girl was chanting "i wanna be saved by jesus and the holy spirit" while having chilli peppers rubbed into her stomach violently. The children are led to believe they have stupid nonsense shit like kindoki and then how they are so WILLING to let such abuse to be carried out on them, so that they can be loved and accepted by their family and parents. Can u imagine little kids at the age of 3 or 5, putting themselves out like that so they can be accepted by their parents? They also fast their children for weeks, in order to purge the kindoki. Little kids, could be your niece and nephew, made to starve for weeks.
Then there was the story of this girl who was abandoned on the streets. Thing is mostly, it's the uncle or aunt of the family who accused the child of having kindoki, never the parents themselves. Her uncle accused her of having Kindoki and they put her over a fire and if she screamed, then it was verified that she indeed have kindoki. Most ridiculous thing I ever heard. If u put me over a fire, of course, i will scream. Then they proceeded to unleash child abuse on her and abandon her on the streets.
Thousands of young kids are abandoned on the streets because of accusations of Kindoki and I am not sure what I can do to help. But the least I can do is raise awareness of their plight in Congo. For me, I think such stupidity is unacceptable, and I have no idea how Christianity devolved to such forms. The documentary suggests that shutting down Revivalist Church might put a stop to such a massive scale of child abuse, but the thing is they keep springing up, especially in poor and undeveloped Congo.
Well, it's just some food for thought for me. And I think it's nice to share with my friends and if your interested, would be real nice, if you could read up and we can talk more about how to help the children. But do think about it. And thanks for giving 5 minutes of ur time to read me out.
Regards,
Ee Kean.
My reply was this:
Natural selection at work, Eekean. Dumb parents give birth to kids... Their kids die when abandoned. Stops the dumbness from being passed down.
Imagine the willingly abused kid gets saved by you, and he grows up thinking he must also abuse his kid. How many generations of kids are you willing to save, and how much money must working, normal individuals give in taxes to save the dumb?
Innocent as the kids are, that's the way the world functions. It's sad, but true.
Because we can't all be clever.
I don't blame the religion in the least. It is the people who are stupid enough to believe it, and are even willing to hurt their own children for their stupid beliefs.
HOW FUCKING CB-LY STUPID CAN YOU GET?!
I don't know since when, but I certainly didn't consciously realise how my heart seemed to have hardened so much over recent years.
As a young teen of maybe 13, I would have been quite upset reading this mail, and perhaps attempt to save the poor children for maybe 2 days and give up, giving in to my world of pointy combs, dyed hair, and multiple boyfriends.
Wow, I remember I was so goddamn kindly when I was a kid!
I used to refuse to play the game leapfrog (where u jump over a person's back by pressing your two palms on it) coz I thought it would hurt my friends. Therefore I was constantly the person leaped over - which is, needless to say, rather not fun. I believe it might also add to my stunted growth.
But nowadays I see charity shows and only cringe a little at other people's misfortunes.
Instead of feeling so sorry for them and crying, which I used to, I would think in my heart, if you are kinda old, had an operation for 13 times, and lose two limbs and have nobody taking care of you (meaning nobody gets devastated when you die), why don't you end your life instead of living in misery?
I then get stunned at myself for thinking such a terrible thought, and mentally torment myself by solving cube root maths equations till I break out in sweat and think I have suffered enough.
I think this little change in my occurred one precious lesson in secondary school... I know I have related this story a gazillion times, but anyway, here it is again for those who haven't read it...
My class in 2A, River Valley's second year, had only like 9 boys, and in one particular lesson we were divided into groups, where in the class there was a group of only boys (like 4 of them - Joseph, Junhan, Jing Quan you were in it! I think).
We were all presented with a problem, and had to discuss within our groups how to solve it best. Well anyway, it was a stupid scenario, where a group of 6 or so people were trapped in some island, and there was only food for 4 people.
All the girls presented first, and naturally, being a nerdy school where everyone was kindly and good natured, all the girls suggested sharing the food and blah blah.. DOES NOT WORK! Already told you there is not enough food for all the people YOU COCKS!
In the girls' solution either everyone goes hungry, or the strongest man would have to sacrifice his food for the young or old. (Clever - when the strongest man dies, who goes hunting, the baby?)
When it came to the boys' turn to give their solution, they promptly announced, "We will dump the old woman behind."
The teacher, shocked (nerdy school, nerdy school, remember that, everyone in RV is nice), asked why they would do such a thing!
Joseph then smirked and said, "Because only the strongest survive, cher!" and the boys proceeded to whoop among themselves.
There you go, a perfect, realistic solution - because that's the way nature intended it to be.
That one sentence had such a strong effect on me, that from that moment onwards I never stopped thinking of that every time I see a sympathetic situation.
It is not that I don't feel empathy anymore of course, it is just that I tend to not dwell on human tragedy as much or as long, coz I have learned that that is the way of life.
[Digression! Speaking of situations where some people unknowingly do something to make you change your entire life, my Poly coursemate once, in a crowded train, said loudly to me, "Yan yan, your breath stinks!" in front of all my other friends. Since then, I developed a phobia for having stinky breath (and being told of it in front of everyone in a MRT train), and I thus now ALWAYS have sweets with me everywhere I go. If I am not armed with the sweets, I get very anxious and refuse to talk (much, coz I cannot don't talk, I'll die). Stinky breath eh? I'm the person with the nicest breath now!]
Yes. So back to Survival of the fittest.
[Another digression, wiki says that this phrase is a tautology. This means a statement which is true by its own definition - ie "fitness" is defined by survival so the phrase literally means Survival of the survivors. Interesting huh?! I wonder if the phrase "pointless tautology" is tautology too. You stupid buffoon.]
That day I was talking to Mike about socialism and medicine being socialised (when we are not telling each other how cute we are, we talk about difficult philosophical dilemmas).
My stand was that yes, it should be socialised (ie, available to all at no or low fee to the public, coz it is paid for by tax payers), because I was thinking in my mind, if one day my grandparents get ill (CHOY), god forbid I don't have enough money to cure them and they thus don't get saved.
And also, fuck those rich people if they get saved only coz they have filthy money. They don't deserve to live more than my nice gramps who love me a lot!!!!!!! ROAR!
On the other hand, I think of those dumbass teenage girls who attempt suicide so they can be special or can get attention or think they are vampires, and I feel like bashing socialism in its face and hope these people die coz they are wasting our doctors' time.
Of course, these teenage girls might be very rich so this has nothing to do with socialised medicine, but I am just saying.
So anyway, my somewhat rickety stand on socialised medicine is contradictory to my stand on Natural Selection, and I guess in that sense my stand on the latter is somewhat rickety too, coz only when it involves someone dear to me I turn tables and go all compassionate.
Becoming fucking confused.
Anyway, my point is that I'm an unsympathetic, mean, hard-hearted person now - unless I happen to know the sorry person involved.
Don't tell me to feel sorry for, ie, someone I don't know who killed himself by jumping into the MRT tracks to retrieve a shoe. I'd just say, oh, that's natural selection.
Kelvin, while on the causeway and looking at the thousands of blue collar workers edging their way back to JB on their motorbikes: "I feel sorry for them."Read The Full Article
Me, "I don't."
Kelvin, "Cmon, not even in the least bit? Looking at them squeeze like that and breathing in all the smoke?!"
Me, "I don't know them, but I know that only with such people around (the lower caste) can we be living comfortably, coz not everyone can be rich."
(I then followed up by singing joyously with a song titled "Communists are pigs")
