I love Las Vegas!

Photos of Las Vegas as promised before I go to bed!

Vegas is great! Everything is so wild and bright and vying for your attention!

It's possibly the best city in US for a holiday... Hotels are cheap and very pretty, and food is ridiculously cheap (think steak and lobster for $10.95), and there are nude girls and very handsome nude guys too! (Chippendales! Too bad Mike was around)

We stayed in Wild Wild West, slightly offstrip for around $200 only!

Man, the weather there was SCARY! Super super hot and dry enough for you to burst into flames!

I left my lip balm in the glove compartment and when I went to retrieve it a while later it MELTED! Totally liquified!

Tropicana, with Excalibur in the background! We had buffet there... was $15... Not too bad, not too good either.

Hooters! Doesn't that shadow look realistic?


I don't know what this is but it looks damn suggestive!


Hookers!

Isn't it great? Choose your preferred race and type, and the girls will be sent to your doorstep, totally nude! I took the funny two girls one (holding the ankles) and it says two girls for $99!

So funny how they placed all the stars at the strategic spots (snigger snigger)!

And we go into the MGM Grand!

There were real roaring (ok maybe not roaring, only got lazyass) lions INSIDE MGM Grand!

And I also think it's very brilliant to add a good adjective to your hotel's name. I'll call my hotel CYY Grand in future too!

There was some TV screen and it has soccer on it!

It's hilarous to see how excited the guys all are and the girls are totally bored. Mike doesn't like soccer I think. I am really scared he turns gay. :(

I love themed hotels!

MGM grand is like lions and grandeur... There's also Excalibur which is ancient British? Luxor is Egyptian... Caesar's Palace is obviously Roman... Paris is French... Mirage is desert... There's New York New York too and the Stratosphere (futuristic)... All so fun!

Las Vegas is like a mini-world!

Outside MGM!


New York New York


Oh oh!

In between LA and Vegas we stopped at this place called Barstow. Had fabulous products all at factory prices! I bought this pair of wedges there for around SGD$50!

So gorgeous isn't it?

The lights there are so nice!

I don't know why we banned neon lights.


Excalibur!


Feel a bit like a princess with all those castles


Paris!



We bought a ticket...

So rude to disallow people to get married! Anyway it was raining so we had to return the money... Another time then...

The Bellagio!

It is not themed but is so grand and simple... In fact because it is not themed it stands out among the rest by appearing clean and pure...

Driving here and there


Watched a magic show!

Dirk apparently has one white tiger with stripes, and another pure white tiger! He made them appear and disappear! Just amazing.

I dig magic shows!!

Eat a big apple in the big apple!

And next we go to one of my favourite hotels, Caesar's Palace! Super big, and everything is carefully done up!

Heehee someone is not well-endowed

We saw this AMAZING car in the carpark! I had to take photos

Isn't it the most broken down piece of shit you have ever seen?

Speaking of cars, remember Maddox's entry about Idaho?

SO IT REALLY DOES SAY FAMOUS POTATOES!!!

HAHAHA!


I love Vegas.

Where else will girls walk around in G-strings?


Only in Vegas!

Apparently this joker (haha I know, weak pun) is mounted on a billboard and driven around by this car SOLELY FOR THE PURPOSE OF ADVERTISING.

How brilliant is THAT? Vegas has one of the busiest roads in the world so this billboard really gets seen a lot.

Some other buildings...

The Venetian is one of my favourite hotels too! So classy!

Oh oh did you already know the owner of Venetian is going to be the owner of our Singapore casino too? I CAN'T WAIT!! Can't wait for a small part of Singapore to be like Vegas!

Lots and lots of wedding chapels!

I think the reason why people get married here is because they are already doing so much gambling, might as well go on with one more thing. :D

Outside the Mirage!

Am I talented or what? I TOOK THESE PICTURES MYSELF!

Please lor you think it's easy to have to kiss, push Mike into position, snap, and have the "Mirage" sign directly in place? Tough!

Fremont street!

The old strip is way more gaudy than the current one!

We went into a strip club and Mike recognised a porn star... That pervert! But he claims that he only remembers her coz she did something very amazing!

Apparently in her porn flick and also while we saw her stripping she TWITCHED HER BREASTS!

Like how musclemen do it! Twitch the left, then the right, then again and again! Made everyone clap and stuff her with dollar bills!

How does she do that?! I also wanna learn!

Oh yeah Mike gave this stupid blonde chick a mesmerised look so I got pretty pissed and we left after not too long. He claims he only looked at her g-string's strap to put the dollar bill in.

WTF!

THE SLUT! She cannot see I am around ah! DISEASE RIDDEN WHORE!!!! Grrr

Anyway... There was also this black chick which was very amazing!

She has a damn fat ass so when she did like half-squats rapidly there would be a very loud slapping sound of ass against thigh!! Fucking funny!!

The rest of the chicks are quite ugly though... Fat even! Unforgivable.

Oh yeah, also, this is a definitive time in my life! When the strippers were near me, I was SO scared they would put their breasts on my face!

I've always thought there might be a chance I am lesbian, but when I felt the fear I knew I was damn straight.

And lastly, we went to have dinner at Olives, a very popular restuarant in Bellagio!

I am damn good at pretending that I am not the one who took the photo!

Dressing up for the event... :D


We ordered foie gras, jumbo scallops and soft shelled crabs with pasta!


I am happy coz Mike is treating! :D


One sibeh big slab of foie gras! SO SO SO GOOD.


Olive paste for bread! Delicious!


Pasta... They put something funny inside, like parsley!

Thank god for boyfriends who eat anything. Supposed to be mine!
Yuck.


Jumbo scallops with risotto!

Super fresh and BIG and JUICY!



I bet you can FEEL how it tastes like!

And after dinner we realised why Olives was so popular!

IT HAD A PERFECT VIEW OF THE BELLAGIO FOUNTAIN!

So pretty! I felt like one of Ocean's Eleven...

And that's it! We fly back to Texas!

All that food made Mike exhausted.

p/s: 5.53am drama at home. Clinton woke up to shower for school and got bitten by a centipede. I tried to trap it with Cloudy's food bowl but it escaped.

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HAPPY LAH!

I tell you all hor, I'm doing this project thingy which is an idea from Turodrique, and it is doing very well!!

And and and! It's all of you readers' credit! That's why, I love love love you all!

I am so happy, I'm gonna be nice to everyone. I will love the prataman again and eat his lukewarm prata!!!!!!!!

*smiles contentedly*

I am so happy I shall go edit all the vegas photos now and edit until chio chio!!!!!!!

Off I go!

Love you all! *takes all the blogders by surprise and kiss them all on the cheeks*

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Will never eat prata again

Chao turtle!

I am just blogging this to complain a bit before Russell and his gang of friends come over to interview me.

Speaking of student interviews, can you all students STOP asking me for an interview? In Russell's case it is his birthday present, but for all other poly/uni students it is a big no!

Don't blame me hor, blame this stupid NP student. Once upon a time I used to accept student interviews although they are always more trouble than it's worth: Ie no publicity + time taken.

But this student was DAMN bad can? Firstly, students already always tell me they want to interview me, please please xiaxue please help BECAUSE the school wants them to interview a famous person and please lor, the school thinks that every 17 year old knows a famous person is it? SIAO.

When I was 17 the only famous person I know is... Nobody! Don't even know anyone famous!

So anyway these students always come to me coz my email is conveniently there! KNN. I don't want to be a conveniently available famous person can?!

Anyway back to the student. She sent me a few email questions and told me to answer them.

I did according.

After that she said that my answers were too short, and told me to rewrite all my answers again!

In the first place her questions mostly yes no questions, so what you want me to say? OBVIOUSLY I ANSWER ONE WORD YES OR NO RIGHT??!

Then must ownself elaborate still never mind. After I reanswered her questions slavelike, she said they are ok now, and would I please go take a photo of myself beside my computer and pass it to her.

WAH SHE THINK I SO FREE CAN GO PUT MAKE UP, TAKE PHOTO, THEN UPLOAD IT AND PASS TO HER AH??

FUCK YOUR ASS OK YOU THINK I AM UR SERVANT IS IT??!

I told her to go screw herself and that it is her who is supposed to do the project, NOT ME!!

So from that moment onwards I decided, to be fair to everyone else, I will not agree to do anymore student projects since they all only waste my time.

Back to the prata!

ANGRY ANGRY!!!!

I've been staying at home a lot so I have forgotten how it feels like to be angered by salesmen!

You know how Thomson has this famous crispy prata place, and beside it is this famous bak chor mee place?

Yesterday I was there with Qihua, Zapzap and kit, and the boys wanted to see meatballs, so they all sat at bak chor mee coffeeshop.

I wanted a prata so I went to the prata shop.

I told the prata man (who is naturally Indian) that I wanted a kosong takeaway to eat next door.

From a pile of pratas in front of him, he took one out for me, and wanted to pack it up.

I smiled at him, acted cute a bit, and said I wanted a freshly cooked one, can?

He said all are freshly cooked and presented the prata for me to touch.

It was barely lukewarm!

He smiled and said ok, he will get me a freshly cooked one then.

At this point the chef was whipping up more pratas, and he finally cooked 4 kosongs and gave it to the guy who served me.

THAT IDIOT put the fresh pratas on plates and served other people! Now remember just moments ago he tried to give me the lukewarm ones, which were mountained on the table, waiting to be served.

Lo and Behold! The people served the fresh pratas were fellow Indians!

Now after he served these people, he came back, and WHEN I WAS STILL STANDING THERE LOOKING AT HIM, TOOK ONE LUKEWARM PRATA AND TRIED TO GIVE IT TO ME AGAIN!

SMILING! LIKE I WAS AN IDIOT!

I was so pissed I said forget it, I don't want it anymore, and turned to walk away.

3 servers saw me turn and told me to wait just a while more, so I waited...

Presently came another 4 fresh prata kosongs, and guess what? SERVED TO OTHER INDIAN PEOPLE!

LIKE THAT I HOW??

They attempted to serve me ANOTHER lukewarm prata!!!!!! THREE TIMES OK! 3 lukewarm pratas that I SAID I DONT WANT!

Fucking racist muthafuckers!!!!

I HAD ENOUGH HOR!

Why Chinese people cannot eat prata is it? Lukewarm pile for Chinese ah?!

From now on I shall boycott prata. I die also I eat Chow Mein everyday. Fuck pratamen.

I bet they all just acting stupid and all laughed at me when I left looking so pissed. If that's what it is, then they must all have superb acting skills man, they looked so confused and one idiot was still smiling at me.

p/s: I'm just talking about these 4 pratamen, so no offence to the rest of the Indians reading this, even if your father sells prata. Unless he sells crispy prata at Thomson...

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Singaporeans are FOS

First, to make up for my forced limitation of vulgarities, let me scold a few: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

Apparently some CBs (yes I am talking about you, u fucking assholes) have been writing in to ST's forums to complain about the use of vulgarities on my starblog.

I understand that it has been marketed as a G-rated site and thus some kids might read it.

(seriously, what are kids doing on the net? Shouldn't they be playing with marbles? They have no business online! Some 13 year old or something boy I saw that day announced he betted $200 on Germany. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? What are parents doing, sleeping?)

I even understand that old people whom, for the rest of their lives have not gone online and have been persuaded by ST to do their virgin try on Stomp, might be shocked beyond words by the liberal use of the word "FUCK" and might go into old people spasms.

I tried very hard to understand, I did.

I tried to use other words to replace fuck, but the sentence "They even look like they are mentally copulating you!" just doesn't sound nice at all.

BUT "BASTARD"?

FOR GOODNESS SAKE! People complained about the use of the word bastard in the latest entry!

This reminds me of my ex-Christian maid who was so pious she thought the word "stupid" was a vulgar word and told me severely that God would punish me.

She's super stupid.

Why are Singaporeans such asses? SERIOUSLY? We are anal BEYOND WORDS.

May I ask, what's the whole point of reading stuff online?

IT IS BECAUSE STUFF ONLINE ARE NOT CENSORED!

If you fucking want to read prim and proper English about PC stuff, read the damn newspapers and read a damn children's book!

If you want ST to censor this and censor that, then for goodness sake la, ask them to cancel Stomp altogether. It's supposed to be a youthful, trendy site - not a site for grandpas.

Assfucking readers.

"BASTARD"! I can understand "fuck" is vulgar, but what's wrong with "bastard"? Moreover, the sentence I used was "All lawyers are bastards (except wong)" - which is more than valid.

In fact, I heard some lawyer complained that it is DEFAMATORY!

To this I laugh my heart out: HAHAHAHA!

Now not only is he a bastard, he is also a petty bastard!

Idiot. He must have a small penis.

Forgive me, I'm usually quite polite. Surely if it's you you will be pissed too?

Go on, complain some more if you wanna. Go read the other PC blogs if you want to. It's your loss - I'm a fine read.

God, sometimes I REALLY hate Singaporeans. Full of these conservative narrow-minded, yes, BASTARDS.

Enough anger.

Pictures. Last few days of LA

Fat people food!

Springy sponge cake with sugar-filled cream inside! Delicious

Me!

And we go to Sizzler!

Cheaper than in Singapore.


Creamy clam chowder


Mike is stealing my bread!


My steak!

Cutely enough, American butter is white, and is of a whipped quality! It's foaming and not just creamy like ours. Melts very easily, and is super soft! I love it.

We arrive at Melrose, which is a famous shopping district!


I like all the graffiti, makes the street vibrant.


ALDO LIQUIDATION! Everything 50% and less!

I didn't buy anything though, nothing I like of my size.


There are Smoke shops around.


And they sell bongs and other things for smoking weed!
Out in the open like that!


Very artistic graffiti!


Shoes!

I love American shoes so much!

Unlike STUPID SINGAPORE SHOES where only brands like Charles and Keith exist, and consist of only 1 type of boring shoe (flattish kitten heels - boring and UGLY), American shoes are varied in design and way bolder.

Look how high they are! I like. :D

Famous Pink's hotdogs!


Look at the adorable dustbin!


Nothing much leh, I don't really like the hotdog bun.


In walmart with a pack of chips! Hahaha look how big it is!


Drove past Knott's Berry farm and got freaked out by the scary roller coaster!


Venice beach!

Supposed to be bustling with life and very full of bikini babes ala Baywatch, but look...

It was rainy and almost completely empty! We could have had sex on the beach! Or did we? *mysterious smile*

Looking awful without make up. I planned to sun tan!


Pointing proudly at the Pacific Ocean.

Was so cold! I ran it, dipped my toe in, and quickly ran off.


Pretty flowers!


And we go to Rodeo Drive!

I kept singing the Pretty woman song to myself as we walked. :D


Guess! One of my favourite brands!


Bought a $150 watch there. Chio!


Very expensive cars cruising along... (this is a Bentley).

And look what we found!

Eww Scientology celebrity centre! We tried to go in but was stopped at the gates by one crazy Scientologist. HAHA!

Krispy Kreme donuts! Super super yummy

And look at the selection!


Will make you go crazy


What we bought!

From left, row by row: Classic sugar-glazed, strawberry and creme, chocolate creme-filled, Chocolate top custard inside, culler, rainbow sprinkles, maple (I love this), cheesecake, sugar-top custard-filled.

Mike ate all the custard-filled ones!!! *sobs*

And lastly, en-route to Las Vegas,

Very famous In-and-Out Burger!

They mean it when they say in and out - you don't have anything there to eat except your burger and some fries. There's a grand total of 3 types of burger, cheeseburger, hamburger, and double cheese double beef - in which the latter is obviously the favourite of the masses.

I have no idea how they survive, it's not even very nice.

It tastes exactly how it looks like in the pic.

I'm super tired, so good night!

I must say, I love my blog readers a lot more than Stomp's readers. You guys are great, most of you! :) Tata!

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Call me princess

Wahahhaha! I cannot take it! Was just chatting with Kenny Sia on MSN, and he told me he just found Jolin Tsai's blog.

It's fucking funny! Kenny told me to read it, but apparently my eyes don't take too well to small Chinese fonts. But I did see the sidebar... It says, "Princess files" when translated literally.

Which led to this MSN chat:

I must become rich! says:
my blog more princessy or hers

Kenny le Sia says:
hers.

I must become rich! says:
OEI!
how dare u!

Kenny le Sia says:
she even calls her mom 'huang hou'
do you call ur mom 'huang hou'
NO
you call ur mom 'momo'
so she's more princessy than you

I must become rich! says:
i shall call my mom huang hou from now on

Kenny le Sia says:
HAHA
and ur bro 'gong zi'
and cloudy 'tai jian'

I must become rich! says:
shite i dont wanna call smelly gong zi whahahahha

Kenny le Sia says:
have to!
he's ur bro
a prince

I must become rich! says:
he is smelly prince then

Kenny le Sia says:
'chou gong zi'

I must become rich! says:
lollllllllll

Hahahaha! I remember like 2 years ago, I had this interview with Jolin when I was a reporter (lucky internship) for Today newspaper.

She, sitting on a stage, related a story to disinterested (only I was excited... the rest of the reporters were all old) reporters about how she thinks she is a princess.

NO. I am serious. She's not even just jesting about it.

The reason why she thinks she is a princess is because she went to a fortune teller, and the fortune teller told her that in her last life she was an Indian princess.

And she thought about it, and decided that since this life of hers is pretty good as well - you know, all the pretty nails, glamour, adoring fans, and non-stop working hours - she must still be a princess in this life too.

I looked incredulously at her, but she might have thought it to be adoration on my part.

What if she goes to a second fortune teller and the fortune teller tells her she used to be a banjo player in Laos in her past life?

I think she might throw a big fit and have him beheaded. At least, that's what I think princesses do....

Come a few years, and she still thinks she is a princess!! Whahaha... I know it's nice to pretend to be a princess and dress like one, but seriously BELIEVING that you are one is another thing altogether.

The funniest thing is, everyone else on her blog seems to have no problems with her self-proclamation as a princess!

THEY CALL HER PRINCESS!

I dunno, I'm just guessing, coz I can't be half-assed enough to read the comments.

I WANNA BE A PRINCESS TOO!

As such, I just visited a fortune teller yesterday, and he told me sagely that I used to be a Norwegian princess my last life. (!)

I had blonde hair that rippled to my waist, and had startlingly cold green eyes. They clashed terribly with my favourite colour then, which was orange, he said.

I asked a little bit more about my past life while smiling self-satisfiedly (I was a princess!), and the fortune teller said "Heavenly secrets are not to be divulged" but added I had a pet Norwegian dragon.


He clashes with my orange dresses too...

It breathes fire.

I would ride him while the masses admired my magnificant sight from far below, and I was the only princess controversial enough to wear an empire-cut dress while riding. All the other princesses wore pants.

My lovely pet was called Grogzjo, Norwegian for Ferocious Flyer.

I believe the fortune teller because the controversial part matches my current life's fate as a controversial blogger, and also, I have a pet dog, and we all know dogs are current day dragons.

To further prove my point, Cloudy just hurled a pile of orangish-red vomit. It's like the fire he used to breathe.

It is now confirmed that I have royal blood in me, so I am offically announcing that I am a princess.

As such, you all shall have to kneel down to read my blog, and from this moment on, certain people related to me shall have their names changed.

Please refrain from addressing them in their old names. It's a thing of the past now.

++++++++++++++++++

Me: Princess Wendy, Her Imperial Highness

Momo: The Queen, Her Majesty

Smelly: Crown prince (yelch, but by virtue of relations... sigh)

Cloudy: Grogzjo the II

Mike (knighted and made to dress in shining armour, all while wielding a sharpish weapon on a white horse): Lord Marquet the III (My Norweigian love then (French guy, red-headed)was called Marquet but he had a son from his first marriage named after him, thus III)

Wong: Court jester

Kelvin (made prime minister): Premier Wee

Shuyin (made duchess): Lady Teo IX of ... I haven't decided that country I am princess of.

Other people not mentioned who are friends of mine are to be called "his/her highness" at all times.

++++++++++++++++++

This is a royal blog now!

Pictures in a bit... I'm packing my room. I need a few chamber maids. What a hardworking princess I am!

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Gah

Updated on Stomp... Go read those instead!

Comments still disallowed.

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:D

I just threw a durian seed out of the window!

I've been throwing lychee and durian seeds out. Hope that they will all grow into tall, sturdy, fruit-bearing trees in a couple of years! :D

Pretty trees. :D

Today I saw a girl on the bus, and she was with her boyfriend.

She has her hair tied up in a half ponytail, and god, instead of lying flat like the classic half ponytail, it was high up in the air - resulting in the tail's body being 1 inch away from her scalp.

It's awful. =(

(Mid year resolution: Cease commenting on people's bad looks. Remember what Jorraine always says, "OH YOU DIE! Karma comes in KGs!!!!!!!!" - with a deadly ringing silence from everyone listening)

Needless to say the couple wasn't very good looking.

And so, while on the bus ride I came up with a very good theory.

My theory is that it is a blessing to be ugly.

So ponytail girl had her boyfriend, which was around her standard of looks, say, 3/10.

So actual looks, 3/10.

Self-esteemed looks? Must be around 3/10 too, since she deems herself worthy to be with someone around that kinda marks.

Now, love is funny game, isn't it?

In life, we are constantly trying to find the partner which has the maximum amount of marks to be with us. Don't gimme that bullshit about communication and deeper understanding and all that. That's rare and weird.

Nature makes us breed with the healthiest we can find, and "health" is often connotated by looks.

So in this case, a person around 4/10 in eligibility will possibly wanna get someone 5, or maybe even 6 if possible, but if not, he will settle for his own standard, which is 4/10.

Similarly, the 6/10 which the previous 4/10 tried to pursue (but failed) will try to get someone 7/10, but most likely will fail and finally settle for someone 6/10 like herself.

(Theory is only general - there are obviously rare cases of exception where, say, a handsome man (8/10) is with an ugly girl. Handsome man might, for example, have only one testicle and feel he should compensate for something, thus giving himself only 3/10 - which is why he is with said ugly girl.)

The reason why I say being ugly is good...

Now, I presume everyone's final motive in getting into a relationship is to continue life - ie by getting married, giving birth, and hopefully have a happy family.

For that, we mostly need an amazing formula called faithfulness.

If a fugly couple, ie, 2/10 both, are together, the chances of them scoring 3/10s are low, because as explained earlier, the 3/10s would try to settle on 4/10s.

They might score other 2/10s, but why bother? All are so ugly anyway.

Now we look at a good looking couple: both 8/10.

People 7/10 and 6/10 are constantly trying to hit on them, and well, why not fuck the 7.5/10 - he is not bad looking anyway.

So there you go. That's why celebrity couples are always cheating.

And that's why fugly couples stay together. Until they are so repulsed by each other's ugliness... well there is nothing much they can do.

I know you can frown and quizzically ask me, "So in this case, why don't good-looking people who want faithfulness force themselves to be with 2/10s and be happy?"

Oh no no no it doesn't work that way.

1) They will be very unhappy to be a person who is way uglier than they can achieve, so the happiness from the faithfulness will be cancelled off.

2) The poor 2/10 will go crazy from the competition and criticism.


I know. It's a brilliant theory.

(I am not adding in the factors of how sad the 2/10s are in secondary school where they are teased to death for looking like cows. They will later realise it is a good thing.)

*********************

There used to be a time where I could write these whimsical thoughts of mine in my blog without people instantly smashing them to bits with their sarcastic remarks.

Save it.

Comments are disallowed until I feel like I got my blogging bug back - all happy, shiny, and confident again.

And also, just coz you are one of the 20,000 people reading this blog and thus letting me be a professional blogger does NOT give you the rights to demand anything from me.

I get money out of this not through YOU surely, but through my own hard work.

It may not be very hard work nowadays, but I make the effort to photoshop for hours, I make the effort to negotiate and source for advertisers.

You do nothing. You just read and entertain yourself on interesting material you want to read anyway. What's your credit?

I am thankful to my faithful readers who are always encouraging me, but if you are one of those who thinks you are a big deal enough for you to say "You are a professional blogger, you should blog for us when I ask you to!", think again.

You are extremely wrong.

Fuck off and boycott me if you want to. If it gets bad, I'll just work harder, blog more, and get more readers.

By then I'm sure you will come back to read grudgingly, now finally understanding you are nobody to lecture me.

You just enjoy a new entry like a pleasant surprise if there is one, but if there isn't, you smile benignly, and say, "Well, I suppose I could come back in 2 days to check again!"

Congratulations, you have finally grown up.

(Apologies to the nice regular readers. Some of the teenage fuckers really piss me off with their snotty attitudes)

And yes, comments are DISABLED.

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