Super Unlucky!

Today is officially the most unlucky day of my life!! It's only 3pm as
I am writing this, but it's already a clear champion.

OK, I woke up at 1130am when I am supposed to reach munkysuperstar by
12pm. The giant zit on my face has blossomed to it's maximum size (I
swear, 1 cm across) BUT CANNOT BE SQUEEZED.

I tried to squeeze it, so it burst and only some pus-like liquid came
out (I know, I have no sex appeal whatsoever), and the whitehead or
whatever solid thing pimples have when they want to be spiteful just
refused to show, so the zit is still going strong - and plus now its
even more swollen.

It's on the side of my nose, so I wore sunglasses to cover it, and I
swear it even made my sunglasses lop-sided. -_-

Mike and I just moved into the new condo yesterday night, so I had to
spend some time to find my concealer among the mess. (pictures to come
soon)

By 1140am, I was about to step into the shower when I realised that
only Mike has the keys, so it's very likely he locked me in when he
went off to work, and so I went out to check!

VOILA! LOCKED IN.

So I called Mike, who agreed to come home to unlock me from work
(lucky it was lunch hour), but also kindly reminded me that the Ikea
movers were coming at 1pm to send me my pink furniture.

I panicked, because nobody would be home. I completely forgot.

Called 100 and then called Ikea Tampines.

While I undressed to hop into the shower and talk to whoever at the
same time, Ikea's answering machine happily told me that Ikea has
extended shopping hours to 11pm on the following dates: BLAH BLAH BLAH
BLAH --- TOOK THE LONGEST TIME TO TELL ME THE MULTIPLE DATES THEY HAVE
EXTENDED HOURS CAN?!

Finally I got a human, and she told me the truck already dispatched
and that I can't push the time later! She said she'd call me back.

1 min later, the dispatch guy called me (but not on the woman's
instructions, just so happens), and told me they are on their way and
would arrive soon - to a house that has nobody inside!

So I told the guy that I won't be home, and I asked how much I have to
pay as a penalty.

He replied that I have already paid in full.

I rolled my eyes and told him that I won't be home, so how much it is
to deliver it again lah?

HE SHOUTED AT ME LEH!

He was like, "WHAT TALKING YOU YOU OLREADI PAID WHAT!"

As it turns out I have to pay an additional $30 on top of the $40
delivery + $15 fixing charge. $85 - that's even more expensive than my
computer table or chair. CHAO CHEEBYE.

So I rushed to munkysuperstar after this, and the most cliche of all
mishaps - I KENA MY DA YI MA! (I'm not going to explain what that is
if you don't already know).

I had to walk to 7/11 to buy the necessary and then go to This Fashion
for a new pair of shorts. Tried on 4 pairs before 1 fitted, which is
just awesome.

My life is perfect.

On a better note, our condo's windows has a sort of deep trench
outside each window for putting flower pots (cute huh?) and there is a
pigeon that built a nest there!!

AND THERE ARE EGGS INSIDE!

It's fucking cute, yesterday night the pigeon was sitting on the ledge
looking at her eggs, and Mike lit up a tealight and put it a little
way beside the bird to light up the scene (the pigeon did not fly
away) and we just watched her for a long time, and we even had a clear
view of the eggs, which were white and the size of quail eggs.

And this morning, the eggs hatched and little ugly pink pigeonlings
were all struggling for attention and the mama was feeding them!

I'd go take a photo once I can. =) Don't know when I can get internet
connection to post it up though.



Advertorial

Ok, are you between 17-25 and want to win $1,500? Yeah? Awesome.
(Speaking of 17 - 25, I'm going to be out of that age range in 2 years
and I'd be so upset...)

I was informed of a new competition all you bored people at home can join!

It's called... *drumroll*


THE ULTIMATE AIR BAND
CHALLENGE

Where musical knowledge is secondary!!!



The name sounds very funny right?

Air band literally means that you can be a band performing - with air
for instruments!

There is no need for any singing or musical talent, all you need is
some showmanship and maybe a sense of humour! :D

Get a band of 3 or more people and dress up while playing your
favourite song in the background lip-sync to your heart's content
while performing!

(On the site is a demo video clip, you can go and look)

The video has to be 90 secs long and recorded on a Memorex CD.

Besides winning the grand prize of $1,500, the winner also gets to
perform in Cathay Cineleisure. If you have no singing or musical
talent yet you want to be a rock star, here's your chance man!

Hehe... If I join I'd be singing (by singing I mean lip-syncing) Avril
Lavinge's "Girlfriend", for no other reason other than it annoys the
hell out of Mike.

Which is stupid because when I am telling him I don't like his
girlfriend it means I don't like myself. Oh well.

Then I'd walk around punching random people's girlfriends just because
they "should get a new one".


You know what other song is annoying? That Beyonce to the left to the
left song. NOW IT'S STUCK IN YOUR HEAD ALSO RIGHT?!

Someone (was it Weili?) said that Beyonce will fall down if she really
keep going to the left because it is going in very tight circles.
Hehehe... That's a brilliant idea right there! You keep going to your
left in the video then at the end of it you faint and fall!

Or or... You can act like Mr Bean in his movie where he lip-syncs to
the opera tune in a woeful way!!

Or or or... Imitate a heavy metal band by playing the National Anthem!
National Day coming mah!

Man, I am so full of refreshing ideas.

The judging criteria for the top 10 teams are as such:


- 60% based on public voting via the website (the faster you film the
better for votes lar!)
- 10% based on the number of views to the team's video, and
- 30% decision by organisers

There are 10 prizes to be won:


1st prize: $1,500 cash + $500 worth of Memorex products
2nd prize: $200 cash + $100 worth of Memorex products
3rd prize: $100 + $100 Memorex products

7 consolution prizes: $100 for each team

Easy to win lah! Quickly go and ask your friends to come over and
record now! Use handphone or digicam or webcam, any format also can!

Send you entry CD/DVD to:

Attention
Ultimate Air Band
59 Oxley Road
S(238644)

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Moving in 3 days

Busy busy!

With shopping and scriptwriting that is!

I just spent $325 yesterday in Ikea (the annual sale like lousy one leh...) buying 1 pink computer desk, 1 pink chest of 3 drawers, and a pink computer swivel chair --- ALL NEW IKEA PRODUCTS WITH AN AWESOME SHADE OF BABY PINK!!!

Can't find a photo of the computer table

YOU GIRLS MUST ALL GO AND BUY THEM TOO SO THAT IKEA BRINGS IN MORE PINK FURNITURE!

So exciting, we are moving into the new condo on the 1st, which is only 2 days more!!!

I can't wait!! I have been shopping around on ebay, and I found this pink microwave, pots and pans, toasters and whatever not... and they are all so cute!

Unfortunately Mike has forbidden me to turn his supposedly manly bachelor's pad into a pink fluffly place, so well... All pink products must be "quarantined" in my princess room.

Sian... Maybe one day he will get colourblind and see all pink things as blue? My only hope. Does stabbing the eyeballs work? He's sleeping now, I could just...

SO ANYWAY.

Yesterday after Ikea we also went to Courts, and Courts is so absurd!

First we saw a mattress that we really liked (its $1390) and we asked the young sales guy if for that price it is selling just that mattress (it was sitting on a white leather bedframe selling for, like $800 or something).

He said yes.

Soon after, an old Indian couple came and they enquired about the mattress, and in a rather haughty way asked (as if taken for granted) if the bedframe would be given free to them.

The young salesman said "No" and the Indian couple walked away.

While Mike and I were still sitting on the mattress and discussing about it, the salesman's friend came along, and our salesman begin to talk to his colleague about the Indian couple, insulting them (in chinese) and saying how ridiculous they are to expect the bed frame to be given free.

Mike and I walked around for a bit after this, deciding if we should get the mattress that day or not, and when we decided to do just that, we met another sales lady whom we finally sealed the deal with.

We asked the same question as before, because we needed a divan and if a divan is going to be sold at a discounted price together with the mattress we would buy it.

The saleslady walked away to check, and when she came back, she was all bouncy and told us with glee that they are going to throw in the bedframe for us for free!! A NEW SET! With divan, stumpy metal legs, leather backing (although it's quite ugly, but it's removable) and everything!

SIAO OR NOT YOU TELL ME?

I'm not complaining, but they are so disorganised la, the salespeople like all don't know their stuff, and what, if we didn't check, they are not going to give us the bedframe lah!

And the poor Indian couple got scolded and everything!

And if they are giving away something that's $800 for free, shouldn't they put it on the sign so that people would be tempted to buy the mattress? Can boh dai boh chi like that give away bedframe one meh??

Courts is so weird.

Sorry, I'm very auntie. Sigh.


In other news...


Gillian was asking me to try writing some scripts for her, and so I did!! It's so weird to be suddenly behind the scenes and hearing people act out what you wrote. Kinda fun, but I don't know if I can say more, so yeah.

I'm kinda sick of the whole Disgusting Bloggers saga.

Apparently, Wanbao and Straits Times both reported it somewhat, but I didn't see anything!

It's a little overdue, but few days ago I saw these two parody videos and almost died laughing.



Done by the very talented Jayden, who even bothered to cut and include small snippets of me. But no thanks for my signature "Bah!" - that was like 3 years ago when I was superbly fat!



Second one by none other than Kenny Sia.

Hilarious!

What's Steven Lim saying at the 21 second mark?

That's all!

Pictures soon. I've kinda lost the interest for photography and just stopped taking photos. Very very bad!

p/s: Please don't write more comments on the LZB blog post. I am sick of all the stupid comments so I'm just deleting everything.

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Pissing me off

POST WITHDRAWN

A friend of mine told me that he speculates (with a certain amount of certainty), that LZB's blog is set up by Jack Neo's company as a publicity stunt.

(which would explain why someone bothered to take so many photos of her)

Of course, this is just speculation - believe it or not, up to you, but until I see a video of LZB actually blogging I won't believe it.

So anyway, I've taken away my previous post, because I personally feel that the undeserving scheming commercialised bastards don't need any more publicity.

Plus, it is not being fair to the old lady if she didn't actually write all that.

Poor old lady, used as a pawn. (If this is true, which I believe it to be.)

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Road Trip: Episode 7 - The Night Market

Go watch it now!

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Me and the Deathly Hallows

OMG MY LIFE AS IT IS IS ABOUT TO BE OVER!!!

I'm currently around half into the last and final book of the most awesomest written thingys ever (I'm incoherent coz I am so flummoxed by intriguing bits of the book, so don't correct my English for a bit).

I got my last book yesterday from Times in Tampines Mall, and when I got it, I didn't even look at the price (but instead went to kiss JK Rowling's face on the back page of the book).

Honestly, if I were to consider it, I think the maximum amount of money I'd fork out to pay for her book would be, like... $500. Anything more and I'd use means of theft or piracy, but man, that's how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE HARRY POTTER!!!

And I think Rowling COULD sell the book for that amount, but she doesn't, and I'm going to take that as a sign that she is indeed a deity of some sort!!!!!

I LOVE YOU JOANNE ROWLING! (Cried a bit when I read the site, it's such an inspiring story of how Harry got known to the world)

(mild spoilers)

In the biography Rita Skeeter bullshitted for Dumbledore, I personally think, JK Rowling wrote it as a tribute to the horrific movies that are done for the book, especially that piece of shit Goblet of Fire, where Dumbledore was portrayed as a deranged old man who talks loudly and tries to strangle Harry.

"LIES!" shouts Harry, at the article. Hear hear! It's the same for movie 4!!! Here's what I think of you, movie 4! *shows rude gesture to the imaginary shocked director*

So anyway, so far the book is proving to be quite depressing, with people dying here and there and I've already cried like 3 times in 7 chapters or something!

I don't see how they can finish finding all the horcruxes (horcruxes was underlined red to symbolize a spelling error, and I was like, "Did I spell the plural wrongly?" then I realised that it is a magical word obviously not in the dictionary, kua kua...) within the second half of the book, when there's still four to destroy!!

Well, anyway, I'm obviously not going to blog more because I am going to return to the best read of our time, and YOU ALL SHOULD GO BUY THE BOOK TOO!

I don't care if like a majority of you "don't give a batshit about this stupid book" or "only have seen the movies, no big deal..." this is my blog and I'd write about anything I want!

On a completely different tangent, Qihua also bought a DS lite (that makes like, ALL of my friends, almost), and there are two new colours, metallic rose and silver!

Nintendo should really pay me some money, I made so many people buy that shit!

Lovely.

Lovely day, you all!

(Ikea having clearance sale, I'm going!)

*******

Trivia about Harry Potter are welcome in the comments, BUT DO NOT POST THE ENDING.

My cousin was telling me that the Chinese papers reported the ending of the book, and that MADE ME SO FURIOUS!

If anyone dared to tell me the ending I'd box them in the face and demand they pay me back my $53.99!

I didn't go buy the fucking book only to have the ending revealed to me by some idiot!

Thus, I will not moderate the comments, and will not read them till I've finished the book, and if you intend to read the book you shouldn't read the comments too because I'm sure some idiot is a gigantic spoiler!

This is the time you can feel free to slander me on the comments. Yes yes, I'm a slut, I'm fat, whatever.

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Creating the Top 7 disgusting bloggers blog

Don't we all just love backlash?

No seriously, thought I'd share with you guys my mentality over creating this blog post of mine.

I woke up one morning with a sudden urge to create a blog entry about all the disgusting bloggers around, because it seems that recently there are so many of them?

What makes a disgusting blogger?

With the obvious exception of Maddox (and me!), disgusting bloggers, are, to me, either (1) pretending to be something they are not or (2) think way too highly of themselves (and not in a joking manner, either, like I do).

There are, of course, many other really ugly and gross people around blogging too, but as long as they know their place, I totally have no problems with them. =)

Some of you have asked me, "Why do you have to do this to all these innocent people? They didn't do anything to you!"

Well, look around you, people... Did I do anything to all those people who wrote all those mean stuff about me either? No sire, I didn't! And I tell you, people who write about me do it way worse... I guess I do deserve a bit of it. :D

So I thought to myself, what the fuck? Seems like it's a fair deal - I want fame, and I get criticism along with it, right?

Survive it, and I continue with my work. Can't take it? Stop blogging altogether, and change your url!

And surely you all concur, people on my list are all attention-seeking people wanting fame.

And so, if here and there some fuckers would write bad stuff about these people on the list, why not me? Why can't I? Just because I am a wee bit more famous?

Now that's not fair, is it? Afterall, my blog is a platform for my views, and I am free to write whatever I want on it.

These "victims", so called, are also free to rebuke whatever they want, if they so wish to.

Of course, the smart way out of this is to take the high road and act gracious about it instead of insulting me back (personally, I think, insulting me back would be so much more fun and creative), which will naturally get readers sympathizing with the underdog and making me seem like a bully.

DO I CARE THAT I AM CALLED A BULLY?

Not in the least bit! I'm already being deemed as bullying handicapped-toilet users, foreign workers, filipino rape "victims", why not disgusting bloggers to cap it all off?!

Please stop telling me whoever and whoever took it so graciously and therefore I suck. I DON'T CARE! I'm tired of being fake and PR and being the bigger person. I want to be the petty and smaller person! (childish, but blame Mike, he spoils me)

So anyway, as someone rightly commented, Maia did invite me to her album launch in September 2005. Then, I didn't know her well (I only met her once before, when she was still a singing teacher), but I'd say I sincerely liked her then.

Circumstances, and perhaps, people change, and when she was a star blogger with me, I started disliking her (or rather, her online self).

Once, she left a damn stupid and act-PC comment on my star blog, saying something sarcastic like I am very superficial since I judged some uncle in the airport in LA. I deleted that comment, and our relationship (so-called, the superficial one we used to have) soured.

The last thing I like to hear about myself is that I am being fake, and therefore I felt like I have the need to clarify.

I don't like all these 5 people's blog persona, and it is unlikely I will like them in real life either (I thought Celeste was absurd in real life but didn't dislike her, although her blog personality is like... barf), so I don't care if they dislike me (please do dislike me, I don't know what to do if you guys are nice to me, it totally throws me off course).

It is, however, inevitable that I will see some of these people in real life (Maia and probably Nicole, whom I don't mind), and I guess if I see them I'd just pretend not to see them?

Sigh, wish Singapore was not so small.

Somebody else said something about me being fired from, supposedly, various media, and therefore, I am the real sore loser here.

Just to clarify, I didn't actually get "fired" from Stomp. My 3 month contract ended, and it didn't get renewed. In this rein are also May and Choy, Jaymee Ong, etc. I don't know if they chose not to continue or not, but seeing that blogging once a week is not that tough, I'd say maybe they also didn't get their contract renewed.

It's no big deal - I didn't fit into their rigid child-safe blog criteria, and therefore, I can't do what I do best (write in-your-face blog entries), and so there is no point in keeping me.

Nothing wrong with that.

Speaking of retailiation, Steven Lim does it best, of course. =)



Honestly, that man's a classic. He says I am a chicken pie (mmm, delicious!) and also that I am horny, among other things. And he asks Wanbao to sue me!! =)

He also kept talking to Mike for a good part of the video, but Mike can't understand a single word he said because of *snigger snigger* his perfect English.

Mike's like, "What is this man raving about, man?"

(Gillian says that Girls Out Loud gave him a meagre amount for his part in the show, something like $20 to cover his cab fare or something)

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Road Trip Epiosde 6 - The True or False Game

Enjoy!

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