2008-02-26

Miscellaneous stuff

I am back from Langkawi, people.

Omg so irritating!!!

MSN is being fucked up right now, so I cannot sign into BOTH MSN Live Messenger AND the old lao pok Windows Messenger!!

And I NEED TO COMPLAIN!!

Recently it seems that a lot of people are starting to play on Viwawa.com, a site that allows people to play online Mahjong (among other things) with the other frustrated people who also cannot find MJ kakis in real life (or are unwilling to travel out of house to play MJ, etc).

The problem with MJ is, besides the fact that people slowly start to play bigger and bigger until it starts to become a liability, is that MJ, being a game where money is involved afterall, BRINGS OUT THE WORST IN PEOPLE.

If somebody just threw a Zhong and you throw a Zhong next round only to pay for a 5 tai limit, there is nothing funny about it. Or, if you want to win a 5 tai limit only to have the guy in front of you win your winning card first, that is enough to send the best-tempered of us up in fury.

If those are not enough, perhaps you can try my faithful MJ situation: Throw what draw what. Awesome.

SO.

Online MJ is better in this sense, because you only feel a tad annoyed as there is no money involved anyway, and you don't have to face other people's tempers.

Unfortunately, this also means that you are playing with fucking idiots most of the time, because fucking idiots are everywhere.

Ok la, actually to be fair I think most people playing Viwawa are quite ok, except a handful.

This is one conversation I had with a girl. (From what I remember of course)

Stupidly enough, when I first joined (with Wanyi's urging) I didn't know my user id would be shown to everyone whom I play MJ with, so I chose XIAXUE.

Naturally, that is not the wisest choice, although it is indeed a good conversation starter - not that I wanna converse with these people most of the time.


Stupid girl: Xiaxue?

Me: Yeah?

SG: Is that your real name or are you just copying that bitch?


- She apparently never considered it an option that it could really be me.-


Me: Eh... It's my real name. Very unfortunate to share with her.

SG: Oh. Good. I don't like her.

Me: Why?

SG: No reason. I don't know also leh. I just don't like lor.


(Chao CB don't like people also must have at least a reason right? At least she say she don't like my face also better than this rubbish.)


Me: OK.

SG: She's a bitch man.


(Continue insulting me somemore! Lao niang never saw her in my life and never did anything to her!)



- After another 10 mins of peaceful playing with mundane chatting -



SG, asking table in general: How old are you guys?

Me: I'm 24 this year.

SG: I'm 17. (Juvenile idiots...)

SG, continues: Anyone here from SP?

Me: I was from SP last time.

SG: Oh! So what are you doing now?

Me: What if I told you I am blogging for a living?



- There was a pregnant 3 sec pause -




SG: I suppose that's possible.


OMG SHE IS SO FUCKING RETARDED SHE STILL DOESN'T GET IT?! HOW MANY FULL-TIME BLOGGERS ARE THERE FROM SP NICKNAMED XIAXUE?!




At this point, this other guy from the table who has been quietly listening to this conversation decided it's time to burst out of his shy shell.


Other Guy from table: WAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA SHE IS THE XIAXUE YOU HATE!!!

Stupid girl: ... (she keep doing these dots. You can see that she can clearly express herself very well)


- There was another pregnant pause. -


OGFT: So Xiaxue, how's your nose?

Xiaxue: Good good... One year already!

SG: ...


(OGFT and I chat and ignore the dotting retard)


SG: You are not Xiaxue.

Me: really? Why?

SG: For one your English is not so good.

Me: What?! English here not good or on the blog not good?

SG: Here not good.

Me: I am chatting why would I use perfect English here?!?!?

SG: And for 2, you are too nice.

Me: ??? I am nice to people who are nice to me and mean to people who are mean to me la! Everyone is what!!

SG: ...

SG, continues: You are confirm not Xiaxue.

Me: Ok. (Little fucker slut trying to tell me what I am and what I am not!)

SG: Xiaxue would never use such a lame user pic. (If I didn't know she hated me I'd think she's my greatest fan...)

Me: What?! I think my user pic totally looks like me.







Now for those of you who don't know, Viwawa allows all their users to create a little avatar doll that looks like what I showed. You can change her (or his) hair, eyes, clothes etc. Everyone's doll looks more or less the same with different colours and features.



SG screeched.



SG: NO IT DOES NOT!


I finally understood how it feels like to be all "..." because I was literally speechless.


Me, a little impatiently and indignantly: Why does it not? I have blonde hair and I'm tan and I totally have that dress in real life!!

SG: ...



And with that last "..." she left the mahjong room highly agitated.


Just now, I got another irritating online MJ kaki. By this time I've learnt my lesson, decided against using Xiaxue and created another account.



Me: Fucking MSN is not allowing me to sign in again!

Another stupid person: Oei!!!


(I ignored her)


ASP: No fowl language please! (And yes she spelt it this way)

Me: Why? Are you underaged?

ASP: No. Mother of 2.

Me: Oic. Well... Are your kids sitting on your lap now reading what I say?

ASP: Nope.

Me: Then I don't see what the problem is.

ASP: Keep it clean please.

Me: Stop being a prude and telling people what to do.



And with that I leave the room. And I cannot go on MSN to complain to people, so here I am blogging!! WTFFFFFFFFFFFFF??! There are so many fucking retards around I tell you!!

I SAY FUCK WHENEVER I WANT!!!! ROARRRRRR!!

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!!!!


Irritating la! I fucking hate all these moralistic high browed fuckers.

I don't care if you think foul language is a no-no for your freaking children, but there are people in this world who are not living their lives for your kids ok! If you don't want your kids to hear foul language, I'm sorry, but the only way is to dig out his eardrums lor!! If I don't say, then his fucking classmates will to anyway, what's the big fucking deal?!

And besides, the fucking kids are not even looking at the monitor or what! It's not like I am saying FUCK to her kids' faces!!

AND WHAT IS WITH THE MOTHER OF TWO BULLSHIT?!


JUST BECAUSE YOU SPREAD YOUR LEGS TWICE FOR YOUR HUSBAND TO SHOOT HIS SPERM INSIDE YOU AND THEN GAVE BIRTH DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHTS TO DEMAND ANYTHING FROM ANYONE OK?!?! In fact, it only makes you a mother, not MY mother!

Annoying leh these people!!

I'm gonna abruptly change topic and ask you all to check out the new videos from Click Network.


XIAXUE'S GUIDE TO LIFE



Thinking of not looking like a whale anymore?? Yet, you are so lazy and your hands seem to, on their own accord, steal all your friends' KFC chicken skins when they are not looking? LOOK NO FURTHER!! Acupuncture might be the solution for you!!

Or you can just get a sadistic pleasure out of watching me get poked by needles.


CHICK VS DICK



Love spicy food?? Bet you still can't beat either of these crazy people, as Paul Twohill and Kaykay go on a rampage to find out who can conquer that deceivingly small chilli padi. Among other very, very spicy stuff. *shudders*


p/s: I've got my Langkawi trip's photos to edit so I'll update with all the photos as soon as possible. Langkawi was awesome!!! And I am super tan now!! Comments not allowed.

Read The Full Article
2008-02-20

Win $10,000 cash and a chance to be on the cover of FHM!

Advertorial



Ladies, Munkysuperstar Pictures is casting for a brand new Channel 5 TV show looking for the ultimate superbabe and FHM cover girl!

If you think you have what it takes, please email casting@munkysuperstar.com with your name, age, contact number, occupation, and a recent photo of yourself.

Auditions for the show are ongoing till March 2nd, 2008.


REQUIREMENTS

  • Between 18 - 30 years old

  • Attractive

  • Outspoken

  • Most importantly: look great in a bikini!



Please spread the word and forward this to everyone you know; you might actually see one of them on TV in the future!

Read The Full Article
2008-02-19

Jetting Off

How lucky am I?

I'm jetting off today via Silkair to Langkawi for a short trip!

It's 1056am now as I am typing this, and I haven't slept yet coz I played overnight MJ, haha... I woke up at 5pm.

Yesterday I woke up at 9pm and went to White Sands to collect a parcel at 11am (haven't sleep yet obviously).

I brought a burger into the cab on the way home, and the cab driver was like, "WAH... Your breakfast ah?!"

Tired beyond words, I just said yeah to un-complicate things, since the burger was actually more like my... supper?

And the Cab Uncle commented, "Wah! So late then eat breakfast? Almost lunch already!"

-_-

Is it so unfathomable that some people sleep (extremely) late?

SO ANYWAY!!!

I'm going off on a SPONSORED TRIP for an advertorial!!! All thanks to the lovely, lovely, NUFFNANG!! (Which I support 100% btw - do check out their site for their BDAE freebies!!)

Qihua is going with me (since Mike can't get off), and there is nothing better than a trip that is not only free but actually pays you money!! Awesome.

I'm gonna go sleep now, so I'll update whenever I can. I'm bringing my lappie with me!

Luv luv!!

Read The Full Article
2008-02-12

Good morning everyone!!!

Apparently, everytime I blog something vaguely about sex I get onto the Chinese tabloid headlines, which is really quite irritating. (The previous entry got onto Shin Min. WTF?!)

Anyway I am so kpo about the Edison Chen scandal!!

I saw this photo of Cecilia Cheung, and I just burst out laughing...




(NSFW.. not for kids either. Shoo!)



CLICK




HAO XIAO BU HAO XIAO?!?!?!?!?!!


I know it's very mean to laugh at a badly taken photo of her at this point la, but really lor, she so chio also can have a horrible photo!!

Her expression is just really funny! And her body look like starved African child leh, so skinny... She looks like she was just saying to Edison: "Oei stop taking the photos for a while, I'm not prepared!" then he still continue snapping. LOL!!!



Anyway, I think by now most of you have already seen the photos, so if you wanna read my main blog entry for today (which is about the photo scandal), click HERE.




NSFW and not for underaged people whose irresponsible parents are allowing them to go online freely!


AHEM. The entry, in case it is illegal, is not written by me.


ANYWAYS!!!


New videos on Clicknetwork!!


WATCH!!!


Xiaxue's Guide to Life




Since you horrid people are constantly harping on me being fat,
I've decided to lose weight!

Maybe I can also teach you how to do it without exercising...




Chick VS Dick




There's nothing more funny than watching famous people get drunk.

Who is the better drunk, Paul Twohill or Kaykay?

Click la, then you can find out!



Till I next get inspired, tata!!

(Comments disabled still, sorry...)


p/s: I am looking for a part-time maid!! If you got a good one to intro and she charges $10 per hour and doesn't mind coming to the east, tell me can?

My current maid is damn shitty lor, she ai mai then cancel on me, and I pay her to work 4 hours and she leaves after 2?!?! WTF? And she does a shitty half-fucked job!!

p/p/s: Don't intro chio maid hor... You know angmohs like to fuck maids lor! Mike doesn't APPEAR to be that sort but you'll never know. So better if it's lao auntie.

p/p/p/s: I know you are thinking: "You don't blog, you don't work... you laze around all day and yet you want a maid!? Why can't you clean your own house?"

Because, my dear... Life is too short to be doing stuff you don't like, especially if you can afford not to!!

My email is xiaxue@gmail.com. Loves!!

Read The Full Article
2008-01-30

Tio virus

After a heated argument on MSN with Shengrong about Mac lovers evangelising (SR: "I just want to share something good with you!"), I PROMPTLY GOT A VIRUS!

STUPID DUMB PCs. I wish virus creators would go create viruses for Macs instead so they would shut up! I know the former 2 sentences are not connected, but yeah.

So this time, my newly-bought comp, which I had JUST finished installing all the appropriate programs on, decided that, after a viral infection, it has no programs and no files on it!

The start menu shows that I have zero installed programs, although I can still run them from the "run" option thingy.

SO I HAD TO REFORMAT! And I lost my downloaded photoshop brushes and cursors! -GROWLS-

Anyway, boring stuff aside.

I AM SO BORED! All that happened today that was exciting with the mass circulation of the Edison Chen and Gillian Chung (and Bobo Chan, whoever she is) sex photos.

JUICY CAN?!

For those of you who haven't heard yet, apparently Gillian Chung was caught in a very compromising position (Legs spread wide open. I call it the Byebye Camera Angle) with Edison Chen's head popping up from a corner of the photo looking very pleased with himself.

From what I can gather, Gillian Chung has a very disgustingly hairy bush (Honestly woman, SHAVE/WAX/IPL/EPILATE! I guess she doesn't bother coz she knows that even if she doesn't shave, men like Edison still want to go down on her), a small pussy (perhaps obscured by the massive amounts of hair), mediocre tits, and very clean feet.

The second porno photo is of Edison Chen with his ex-gf Bobo Chan going down on him.

Bobo Chan is acknowledging the camera and is licking the tip of Edison's shiny pink member in its full glory. Now I can die in peace. At least I know Edison's size now!! All that's left is for me to see Jerry Yan's and I'll be quite pleased.

I am linking Cowboy Caleb, whom I have no idea or not whether he is linking the scandalous photos. The stars have made a police report and they are catching people who are spreading the photos! (Since Cowboy is anonymous he ought to be safe...)

Initially when I got the photos yesterday (I have a lot of gossipy friends), my first thought was that this is a hoax.

However, the person who hacked Edison's comp/hp must have gotten very angry with his photos being labeled everywhere as fake, so he spread a new series of photos...

Of Edison going down on a very pleased Gillian Chung.



And this made everyone shut up.

Obviously I cannot post the photo without it being mosaic-ed, but look at the faces! How can anyone find so many photos Gillian, including a Cum Face?!

Well anyway, in this series, the first one had Edison touching Gillian's ahem, and the rest has his face at the peril of being drowned in her award-winning pubes. I must say, he seems to be doing a good job! Gillian looks really pleased in pic 4.

Proof no. 2 that this is real?



The bear, bed, toys that were seen in the photos all coincide with Edison's room shown in a MTV!

Have no idea why when freeze-framed Edison Chen looks disturbingly like Dick Lee.

Edison Chen is such a douchebag!

Before this incident, I've already heard rumours of people whom he had fucked before (and he ALLEGEDLY tries to film them too), and even a friend's friend who claimed who have had cybersex with him and saw his wee-wee via webcam.

Well, now we know... probably true!

That being said, he IS very handsome, so I suppose it is good that he is so willing to share his body and make many girls' wishes come true. My phone number is... -SLAPS SELF- ... is... erm... unavailable as I am attached. Ahem.

I was discussing with friends online and theorizing why Gillian Chung would be so stupid as to let Edison take such photos of her.


MAYBE she was high on something and couldn't think straight?

MAYBE she thought that Edison would never spread the picture since he is famous too?

MAYBE she didn't know the photos were taken? (Unlikely as Edison was clearly acknowledging camera)

MAYBE she is really a dirty slutwhore who was the one who spread the photos herself?! Well this seems impossible since if she were to plan on doing this she would have at least went for a good wax first...



Well, I guess we will never really know, will we?

And don't give me that bullcrap about pitying poor Gillian!! She, along with many examples of other celebrities who also took naughty pictures only to have them exposed later, had it all coming! If you don't want your vagina to be shown to the world and criticized, then don't take photos of it!! -_-

I am awaiting video clips.

Zzzzzzzzz. I can't believe I blogged about this. It's so stupid! Hahaha... But very juicy!

Next blog entry gonna be about my best purchases ever. I know I said that since long ago, but I already took and uploaded the photos! Soon soon!

p/s: While installing Picasa for the hundredth time I found a photo of myself circa March 2006... With a fabulous tan!! And my old nose, which is double of this size.



I'm totally inspired and shall force myself to go tan everyday till I look this colour again.



UPDATES UPDATES!!


CECILIA CHEUNG PHOTOS ARE NOW RELEASED!!

There is even a full-on byebye shot and the picture is so high-res, you can literally zoom in until your whole computer screen is just her vagina!!

She is super hairy leh... Maybe Edison just likes hairy girls?! That must be a 5cm pubic hair there!! (PS - that's a cut-out of one of her pics, but I obviously can't show the rest! Go find them yourself!)

Read The Full Article
2008-01-24

Long post about nothing

I have like 160 photos to post and I need to get to Munkysuperstar by 3pm tomorrow! And it's 4am now! So chop chop!!

You know how at the start of Ugly Betty they will flash all these stripey faces? (Btw Ugly Betty is like my new favourite TV show coz every episode is just so cheerful and funny)

I had enough of those mysterious faces! WHO ARE ALL THESE UGLY PEOPLE?! How they look like if they had no swapped features?! Would they look good?

Here's what they let us see:


Normal face




Urgh! So ugly!


Unfortunate chick with Betty's famous ugly mouth - insured for US $1 million.

(No, I'm serious. Also, for those of you who didn't already know, Heath Ledger died like yesterday.)

And of course...

Betty herself

With a camera and some photoshopping, I PRESENT.........

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Amanda? Is that you?!


???

I know they don't look completely right, but these are the best fit I could find! I KNOW! How can someone be half blonde and half brunette right? WHATEVER! If you think you can do better go do it!


Colourful hundreds and thousands spilled on an NTUC shelf. Pretty!

Qihua and I did our nails:


Hers


Mine



They are really chio but the diamantes keep snagging on stuff! My hair, satin clothes, etc etc. Really annoying.



My latest efforts in my attempt to buy every single thing in pink: Contact lens.

CHIO NOT! I bought it from some spree, and the contacts have pink hearts on them plus a dark black rim to make your pupils bigger. It's chio (but a little too big for my irises as you can see)!

Went with Qihua to get her new kitty cat:





NIAP NIAP is its name! Isn't it just fucking cute or what!?!?!

It's a Persian Flatface and it's Baileys-coloured. I helped her choose it!

It is a pedigree that cost $1,400. (got up to like Great great grandfather's name and they all sound damn aristocratic like Javiar King of Hearts II or something like that... Unfortunately the kitty's original given name is Jaffa... Well now it's Niap niap, so I think old Javiar might flip in his grave if he knew how un-regal his great-great-grandchild's name is...)

Sibeh cute la! The kitty is very calm and sedated one... and it's super snuggly lor! I think I have officially changed from a dog person to a cat person leh!

Dogs are damn jumpy (most of the time) and always try to lick you and shit... Cats just crawl up to your lap and lie there purring and sometimes pawing your tummy.

Anyway Niap Niap somehow got himself some ringworms and is now shaved bald. Oh well.



Mike and I in St Paul after our flight from Japan.

Just in case you are thinking I'm mad to wear make-up for a 20 hour flight, you are wrong! All I had on was eyelash extensions for my top lashes! The "coloured contacts" and "lower lash mascara" are all added by my leet photoshop skills. Teeheeheehee!


Snowing in Minneapolis! Fucking minus 7 degrees can!

So unfortunately for us, just when we were about to board the plane there, they decided to load the plane's food on, so Mike and I were stuck in the open air area between the plane and the walkway.

LUCKY OR NOT?!

While the people loaded their shit, we stood there in the muthafucking cold for like 10 mins lor! I almost died I was so cold! And the snow fell onto my head! (that part was kinda nice coz the snow is very fluffy... but I was concentrating more on how my fingers were all numb even under Mike's armpits)

Finally, we reached Dallas, Texas. Mike's mom came to fetch us.


That's Mike in the guest room we were staying in.

US houses are so nice... Everyone's got carpet and there are NO INSECTS coz it's winter!

They even have an attic I climbed into. I touched the fluffy white stuff on the floor of the attic (it looks like cotton wool) and Mike shouted "DON'T TOUCH THAT!!!" at me.

Turns out it's shaved fibre-glass which insulates the house but is deadly to the touch. I could have dead!!



Xmas tree! (This blog entry is really late, isn't it?)


My fav decor on the tree

I kept pestering Mike to bring me to the mall, which is a good half-hour drive away. He drove me there and waited stoically at the bookstore for 3 hours, which pisses him off really bad.

WHY MUST ALL (ok, most straight) GUYS HATE SHOPPING??? And what's with the crowd phobia? They get all angsty and stressed when there are more people around? I don't get it.









A happy but tired me after VS shopping.

When I stepped into the store I felt like I was stepping into the inside of my head! Everything is fluffy, pink, and frivolous! LOVE!



Mike and I in his mom's, Ann's, car... Ann was really sweet to us and even rented a car for us while we were there! She's really nice! I like her! And I'm not just saying that coz she might read this, which I hope she won't because I use expletives. Which doesn't mean I am not a good type of girl. Ahem.


Lovely Texan skies


At Chilies!

That little black pan with the orange gloop on it is... ok it's some Mexican name that I cannot spell. But anyway, it is Chili mixed with melted cheese and it is damn super duper yummy!

Chili is not our traditional kind... it's a little like curry but it's dark brown and it has chunks of soft beef and sometimes also beans inside it. Very nice with corn chips!



Mike's cousin and best friend Kellet who says he wants to be on the blog and famous, haha... He is an army ranger!


Kelly (it's a nickname and apparently Kelly is a guy's name in US) with his wife, Tracy


Kelly with his mom, Aunt Martha, whom I really like and cooks really good food!



Xmas Eve at Aunt Martha's place!


Traditional Xmas tree and presents underneath
(not that they can all fit in there)


Me with an shriveled angmoh durian





It was a lovely crisp day so Mike, his brothers, and I ventured outside to hang out.

Everyone was dressed in a black top and jeans for professional photo-taking! Stupid Mike didn't tell me until the last min (ie, day before) that this was the plan, so my special Christmasy green dress which I specially brought to US for photos was not used. Boys! He didn't think it was very important, he says!

And I had no other black top but a lousy black turtleneck and my jeans were so blah! (Tucked into cream cowboy boots)

I wish I had a black shift dress that I could pair with black leggings and black, patent oxfords. And maybe gloves? Satin black gloves. Maybe a white belt and a white hairband so it doesn't look so funeralish. OK... Thinking too much. The event is over!


Mike with his brothers Daniel 24, and Jacob, 11. Paul (23) is missing...


"There he is!" says Jacob.

So cute right! Their eye colours are (from left) greenish-brown, Hazel (sometimes blue, sometimes brown), dark blue, and light blue.

Dad's eye colour is green and mom's is grey.

Their hair colour is all the same though! Ashy brown? Mike's feels a bit green to me sometimes.

I was talking to Mike's mom about her sons eye colours and I asked her if it is a big deal to Caucasian mothers the moment their newborn babies open their eyes, because isn't it a mystery? It could take on mom's colour, or dad's, or something else isn't it?

She laughed and told me that most white babies are born with blondish hair and dark-blue eyes, so it's not that exciting. It is only later than their eye colours change and their hair darkens to their final colour.

SO COOL RIGHT? WILL CHANGE SOMEMORE!

IF I HAVE A EURASIAN BABY WILL MY BABY ALSO HAVE DARK BLUE EYES?! Exciting.



Mike + cousins (minus Kelly who is missing) who are ALL BOYS?! He says the boy gene runs very strongly in his family so I should be prepared for boy babies if I ever marry him.

-_-

I'm going to fucking give birth 20 times until I get a girl lor, I DON'T CARE. I don't want boys, boys are dirty and smelly! Girl I can buy her pink stuff (I don't care if she doesn't like pink, I'd make her like it) and tie her hair!!

Anyway, I was also invited to take photos with the family!!

I am semi-family now! I am in Xmas photos!

Since I was standing on the edge (of the group), I delibrately put my arm around Mike's waist so that just in case he breaks up with me, they cannot crop me entirely away!! MY ARM WILL ALWAYS BE THERE!! MUAHAHAAHA! Evil not!!!


I imagine this scenario in future:

Mike's future slut girlfriend who is completely incomparable to me is at Mike's mom's place for the first time.

Future slut girlfriend (who is also fat): Is that your family portrait on the wall?

Mike: Yup, taken Xmas 2007.

FSG: You seemed very happy then.

Mike: Was not bad.

FSG: How come you are staring lovingly into... nothingness?

Mike: Eh...

FSG: Wait... A PART OF THIS PHOTO WAS CUT OFF!!

Mike: How did you... why do you say so? It wasn't.

FSG (raises a fat, jiggly arm to point at portrait): That is a cropped off hand of a girl!

Mike: Oh yeah that's my ex... Remember the one I cheated on with you? Yup.

FSG: But you told me she was a slutwhore whom your family and friends disagreed on! AND that she's fatter than me! You said she's like at least 50 pounds fatter! Which means she's like 350 pounds!

Mike: She is!

FSG: HER HAND IS SO NOT FAT. Show me this photo in its entirety!


Mike hesitates but his mom, who has been eavesdropping, rushes out with the non-cut-off photo and presents it to FSG.

Mike: Mommmmmm........ Why?

Ann shrugs, whispers: Son, you can do better than a whale. Look at you! You are handsome!

FSG: OMG OMG SHE IS GORGEOUS! I OUGHTA EAT SHIT AND DIE! WHY????! Why would you cheat on her with ME?

Mike, muttering to himself: I guess I was just a tad sick of screwing a perfect girl...

FSG goes on: She's like 100 times hotter! Is she smart? Tell me she is totally stupid or I'll just die right here.

Mike keeps quiet.

Mike's mom, whispering loudly to cat: She was in Mensa, wasn't she, kitty kitty?

(FSG runs out of the house in terror, and even falls down comically on the frontstep, leaving Mike to totally regret his decision to cheat on me)


Yup. That oughta be good.


Disturbing Mike while he eats


He ignores me


Full of hate!


So cute

At around this time, I started being sick... On Xmas day it became a full-blown fever.

Despite this, I still insisted we go to Northpark Mall, the upmarket mall an hour's drive away that houses Juicy Couture (among all the other big brands)!!

After all, this was the main highlight of my trip! Besides spending a REAL Xmas of course...


Had live ducks inside the mall!


Juicy monopoly set!!


Cupcake undies!

Inside Neiman Marcus, which also sells Juicy stuff.

But that's not what I wanted. What I wanted was...







The real Juicy store.



With real Juicy products!

For a whole half hour I spent inside there, my fever disappeared.

(I'll show u guys what I bought later.)



Humongous crab legs that Ann cooked for the family one day! (compare to a normal-sized salt shaker)

IT IS SO SUPER YUMMY I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN.

I used to think that eating crab legs was stupid coz the crabs we eat in Singapore have puny legs, but snow legs have very big legs apparently!

Definitely comparable to eating the claws or body - and plus the shell is very easily removed so it's much more fuss-free.

We had an awesome meal with the crab legs... Simply oven-heated and dipped in melted butter. Oh my goodness, so good!


MY POOR BROKEN NAIL!

Can you imagine if I separate the top and bottom part of the nail a little bit you can see blood and pink flesh inside the crack!? Ewww! And fucking painful!



Had to cut off my chio acrylic nails... :(

BTW in case you are wondering what happened, after a few days the top part of the nail just DROPPED OFF! It didn't hurt, just that the part that was supposed to be covered by my nail just felt a bit tender, that's all.




Ann's super cuddly kitty cat.

I miss it! It likes to cuddle up in warm stuff (laps, clothes, bedsheets) and purr when you stroke up. It especially likes Mike's squishy belly (which admittedly I like a lot too. I see the appeal).

It would suddenly have a change of temperament and bite though!



Mike's treat at Red Lobster. Prawns, jumbo scallops and lobster tail! Yum, yum and yum.

We go back to Singapore after 3 very cold but very enjoyable weeks.

Transit in St Paul, Minneapolis again, and it's snowing outside on New Year's Eve.


What's that on the window?

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SNOWFLAKES.

Aren't they beautiful?


Close-up

I know that snowflakes are shaped like that, but I never thought that every single snow that falls from the sky forms 1 flake! I tot one drop of snow is made of many flakes that can only be seen under the microscope or something!

But no! The snow keeps hitting onto our plane's window and even time it hits, it creates a beautiful symmetrical pattern! Nature's quite wonderful sometimes, isn't it?

Those little fluffy flakes of white makes me quite happy, and I totally don't regret having a snowflake tattoo now. Hahaha!



Ever wondered what those big round plastic backing of the business class seats contain?

The answer is...



Nothing.

That's right.

It's just an empty, useless space.

Its sole purpose of existing is to taunt us Economy people even more.

Says the seat backing: "Oh you poor people! Can't afford business? No space for your legs? Ha! Not only does Business Class have space for legs, we also have EXTRA space that we put to no good use! What do you mean we can give that space to economic passengers? Why would we? YOU THINK WE ARE COMMUNISTS NOW, HUH? Nope, I'd rather put that precious airplane space to no good use at all. That's right. Being poor sucks, doesn't it?"


....


Now for my US shopping! I don't care if you are bored by now, I just wanna show off all my awesome buys!

US shopping is FANTASTIC man! Things are actually much more fashionable here, and the quality is really good (as compared to like Bugis Village kinda quality, if you get what I mean) and they have really, really nice stuff!

Ann recommended DFW (Dallas Fort Worth) shoes, much to Mike's displeasure, which is humougous place completely filled with designer shoes at really low prices.







I bought these...
Guess slippers and Steve Madden Mary Janes.
Comes in brown velvet and a chunky heel trimmed with gold.

They totally don't have my size (5) but it's too chio to miss so I bought one in 7 for myself and one in 9 for Shuyin!

Both are too big but nvm lor, can stuff tissue in front!



The Steve Maddens at USD59.90 (and still looks the part) are now USD11.99!!! Can faint or not?

Forever 21 is my favourite shop in the mall. Things are super duper cheap there, and like, the most expensive thing there is possibly... 30 USD? Which is 45 Sg bucks maybe?

I dug through their sales rack for around 4 hours (there is a lot of clothes there) and bought a multitude of things from 0.99 to 7.99. The best thing is, all the summer clothes are on sale, and unlike the fucking annoying Forever 21 in Singapore where the size available is only L, everything there is XS and S!

AWESOME RIGHT?

How many times have you been inside Forever 21 in Singapore, found something you like, only to be told you can't get it because only fucking L (or worse, XL) is left?!

WHY AM I BEING PUNISHED FOR BEING NOT FAT?!


If there are so many people sized S in Singapore, why is F21 stocking in so many GODDAMN Ms and Ls for?

And if something is only left in L, why don't they put all these clothes into a separate part of the store for fat people, so I DON'T FUCKING SEE THESE CLOTHES AND NOT BE ABLE TO BUY IT?!

This is actually getting me pissed off. I hate hate hate it when I see stuff in L I can't get!

From now on I'll only buy F21 stuff from the website.

To happier stuff:


Mesh black oxfords in 4 inch heels and satin ribbons


White heels

Both from F21 at around 20 bucks.
(They are still being sold on the website btw)

IT WAS SO FREAKING AWESOME. The shoes were all lying on the floor and they were all so so pretty but nobody wanted to buy them because... the only size left was 5.5 and angmohs cannot wear that.

So I grabbed them up! I ought to have bought more but my luggage was full to burst, not to mention very close to being overweight...


Which is why I bought another luggage!!

Pink satin with brown polka dots.

Very pretty right?! There is a luggage place in the mall where you can get all sorts of designs from leopard print to yellow polka dots and the luggages are like 20.99 for the small ones to 49.99 for the bigass ones. Mine is 29.99 I think, Medium.

From Walmart:

Diet pills for 14 USD each that don't really work. Oh well...



Watermelon flavour deodorant!

Singapore's choices are so limited... Now if you smell watermelon near to me you'll know it comes from my armpits, haha...


I don't know why I bought this since I can get Veet in Singapore...


Self tanning moisturisers and Sally Hansen's Hard As Wraps nail polish.

The polishes are like 4 USD. They cost $13 each in Singapore!

I reckon the best brands to buy in US for cheap are F21, Coach, and Sally Hansen. Nods sagely.


Purple colour toothpaste! It's so cute I had to get it.

I don't understand what's with all the cavity-protection, or whitening, or total protection whatever...

How many percent of toothpaste is just foam anyway? Can't they just DUMP ALL THESE ATTRIBUTES INTO A SINGLE PASTE?

What happens if I buy 5 tubes of paste with different properties and mix them? Does it mean I get whiter, brighter teeth with fresher breath and at the same time get total protection plus a green tea flavour?

I don't give a shit!

Just make a chio-looking toothpaste and I assure you toothpaste makers that there will be mindless females who will buy them!

I'm thinking a baby pink Juicy Couture toothpaste. Squeezes out in a light pink paste with and the shape of a crown! Or or... a jet black Chanel one with a white logo and black diamante cap. YOU TELL ME YOU WON'T BUY THEM!?!


Jelly Belly soda flavours!

My fav is Root Beer and Cream Soda... The rest is all Mike's.



Walmart house brand's whitening strips.

They taste horrible! They work but I haven't been using them often enough...


Tank top for like 9 bucks or something...

I bought another one that is black, has a bunny on it too, and reads "I am not spoilt, I deserve all my stuff" and it mysteriously disappeared! Qihua says the cat probably carried it off somewhere coz Niap niap does that. :(


Hair curler - USD 14


Makes hair like this! Nice hor!


Pink gemstone bracelet!

Like 6 USD I think.
It's really tough to find large gemstones in Singapore, and I love them!


Hot pink Bratz webcam.
It's not cheap leh, like 25 USD I think.


Baby pink fleece jacket, 10.


Baby booties and 6 pairs of baby stockings
(taken unceremoniously out of box coz luggage no space) for my cousin's baby!
She's gonna give birth soon!

3 USD for 3 pairs of stockings, and around 4 USD for the boots.
Pink suede with fur trim!


Shorts from Target: 9.99


Can you believe I lugged this home? I think this is only 16 bucks!

NOW TO JUICY STUFF!

Mike's Xmas present for me:





USD 88.

Set of 3 bracelets that writes "For Nice Girls Who Like Stuff". I super love it so much lor... I look at it and tear in joy. Ok, being a bit dramatic. My bf is the best!!!


Juicy undies! In a lollipop!





Small bottle of Juicy perfume bought in Walmart for 12 bucks. Urgh, it doesn't smell very nice! But it's chio. :D


Keychain: 15



Can you see how super gorgeous even the receipts are?!







Bracelets from Claire. The wood one was on 80% discount or something!

AND STUFF FROM F21!!!

Starting from accessories:






Set of 2 gemstone rings, 3.80.












For Qihua. As you can see, I went a bit mad with the gemstones stuff.










I don't know which one I am (dyed), so...


(this is like 99 cents)

Awesome sales rack clothes (mostly):


Major chio velour shorts in Hot Pink and Navy...

First day I went, I saw Navy in XS and Pink in M, so I bought both, thinking the pink is too chio to miss so I'll wear it a tad loose. Next day, I saw pink in XS too! So I bought it and give the M to Shuyin (who is wearing it loose too, haha!).


Backless halter top that strangely enough fits really well! I think 5.99.



The sequins trend haven't even started to really hit Singapore, (shops are selling but not many people wearing yet) but in US, the sequined stuff are already starting to go on sale.

$12.50.


Terry turquoise romper. 7.99


Preppy black skirt 4.99





Casual shorts. 7.99 or something? They are really cheap la! I'm not gonna mention price from now on coz all the clothes are around 5 bucks each.


Low-back halter with built-in bra padding!


Orange skirt. I have boots in that exact same colour!
(Colour is more like almond in real life)


Keyhole at the back, and ribbed material! Very comfy. :)


F21 is still selling this.

I saw it in Vivo City in (what else?) size L and is selling for some atrocious price.


Chioest of the chio white satin heart quilted jacket!

$27.99!! (non-sale la of course)

I saw Singapore's F21 selling this for 79 or something ridiculous like that.


Black eyelet bra


Another


Purple satin

All these are around 8.80.

Ok end of F21 products.


Baby pink Fendi-inspired spy bag!

I saw this at the mall and was super surprised to see fake products being sold in US. Turns out it's not illegal coz there is no Fendi logo on the bag!

I super love this bag lor, it is has a total of EIGHT compartments and the inner lining is also baby pink and has the brown leather trim.

$25.99. Sing dollar $38!


10 bucks


12.50, with rhinestones

Must be guilt for making Mike wait while I shop...


Fleece shorts, 10 bucks.





Super chio nighties for only $16.99!!!!!!!!!!!

The second one even has a hole for you to show off your ass crack lor!




Rompers @ 4 bucks each!


Black, grey, and rhinestoned leggings


VS STUFF!



Moisturising spray with glitter!

It smells really nice and looks awesome on legs. 12 bucks? I forgot how much.


VS bronzers at a major discount of 80%.

Are these like 3 bucks each? I don't remember!




Purple for Qihua



These VS bags are madness... 12 bucks for the 2, and 16 for the gold. As if that's not cheap enough, each of these bags contain 3 largish bottles of moisturiser, body mist and shower foam or something. Which means 12 bucks for a chio bag and 3 bottles of toileries!

This means that bag and each toiletry is 4.5 Sing dollars each.

I gave all the bottles to Mike's mom coz I know I won't really use them (9 bottles how to use all?!) and my luggage was already so full.




10 bucks each.

I don't know what got into me, but the santarina outfits were really too FUCKING CUTE TO RESIST!

I bought them and told myself it's gonna be next Halloween's outfits.







Are they really cute or are they really cute!?

I don't know who the hell can wear the ribbon on the ass skirt... Afterall it only has a very flippable ribbon covering the ass!

I had no idea how much I spent shopping... but now I do, due to this bill:



Almost jumped out of my skin. I honestly thought I spent like 700. :(

And what the hell did I buy at walmart for 179 dollars?!


Lastly, MY XMAS PRESSIES!



From Mike's family (I think Mike's dad bought this for me)


From Mike's grandma.

Can matchy matchy my velvet hot pink shots!


And nicest of all...












Mike's family bought me a real diamond necklace.

I must go back to Thailand to give my thanks to the four-sided god. I prayed to him eons ago that I should get a good bf and now I got one!!

Got some more pictures but I'm too tired to continue this! It's now 8am, JESUS!


***************************************


Please watch new shows!!

Chick VS Dick!



Qihua and Paul Twohill are in a new show! In each episode they pit each other on and do various challenges. Who will you vote for, and can you really eat a spoonful of cinnamon? Check it out! CLICK.

Xiaxue's Guide to Life



In this episode, I give away my ultimately sacred recipe. I'm secretly an awesome chef. CLICK.




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