A day before my quarter-life crisis!!

I am doomed lor I am starting to blog this picture post at 7am (haven't slept) and there are 156 pictures!

I'm gonna try not to put too many words in.




Eh.....................

As promised, red and yellow pic. Horribly sunburnt.




My arm's skin actually crackling before it could be peeled off.



Almost recovered from my third-degree burns.

Can still see my arm peeling!



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KK and her bf wanted a puppy so she took me to the Seletar puppy mill... The living conditions for both humans (humans there sleep in same room as dogs on thin mattresses - can you say stinky?!) and dogs there is really horrible! It's like not a part of Singapore man!

The stud is from the mill and it's mad dirty-looking lah. The old man works there and he isn't too clean either.

But overall, I'd say the mill is not as bad as people often describe lah. You can drive there and see if you want! Seletar farmway.

Anyway... The photo is of two malteses fucking, obviously. The bottom is someone's pet. As you can see it's much better groomed.

I'm becoming one of those annoying animal lover people because I'm quite irritated that the owner would want his dog to give birth.

Doesn't he know that birth could have serious consequences and could possibly even KILL his dog? Why would anyone who love their pets knowingly make their pets die younger?!

But well... His dog.

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Jon and KK's new puppy!!




It doesn't like you



2 months old only and it's yorkie/shih tzu mix!!

It's mad floppy and it's super weird coz it's apricot in colour...

Something both parents are not.

And that's why it's called Peaches!!!

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Last batch of Ixus shots

The irony. My old Canon Ixus taking a photo of my new Lumix.

And doing a shit job of it too.

Well goodbye! I'm never gonna have problems with macro shots again.

It's like poetic justice that the last batch of photos the Ixus takes will be that of the great Lumix.

Without flash - dark plus blur.

Before blinging, I apply white nail polish to the black leather strip to make the background colour even.

In between the big gems are tiny pink pearl gems.

=)



Base done













It's not completely done yet!!!

Side rims are gonna get blinged too!

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New camera's photos!!!




Test shot - PK as excited as I am



Pin-hole mode



No photoshop: Shot by Lumix



No photoshop: Shot by Ixus. Bleah.



More test shots in Pin-hole mode







Naughty Pk... Loves to bite my hair clips!

She loves breaking the claws. -_-













Somebody needs a hair-cut. Looks mad awful.

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Supper with Kaykay and Michelle!!




Michelle smiling for the cam



Kaykay wanting to buy a new dustbin in Mustafa.

I was bored so I took pics.

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Lazy day tanning with Sheng Rong




View from balcony



Bringing Pumpkin downstairs with us to the pool.





Blowing bubbles and seeing Pumpkin chase them!



Good sun and good fun!


Dinner afterwards!!





Wongsie, my favourite lawyer



Lewis doesn't like my spanking new cam

Yums steak with a tub of sauce that Eekean said is soy sauce mixed with wine. Nonetheless, it's great! Nicer than brown sauce anyway.

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Peaches and Pumpkin
go to the Vet






Peaches always has this "I am so poor thing" look!





Pumps looking jealous





The mysterious headless humans are KK and Jon btw.








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Thai Express with Mich and KK














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Random: My chio gel nails


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Blinged hairclip for PK!!












Pretty isn't it?!

I can't stand her ear's hairs being long though.

Look like imitation papillion.


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Random: Kitchen window


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My ear wax from ear candling!! HAHAHA!


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Pumpkin after Grooming!!







MUCH cuter!!

Random: KK and Shuyin in a spectacle shop
waiting for KK to get her eyesight tested.

(OK I couldn't take it and fell asleep at this point so I'm continuing this blog entry at 7.19pm, 27th April)

Mich's Mom's Shop's Opening!

They opened a dance clothing shop at Far East Plaza



Mich posing again!!



Us girls









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Had dinner with Shuyin and her relatives.

That's her little sister taking a pic of our food.

These pro photographers are always like taking photos of other photographers wielding SLRs lah!! Now I'm like a pro photographer too MUAHAHAHA!

Shuyin in ridiculous feather headband


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Random: Baby getting hair cut


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BFF'S Birthday!!




My crumply dress for the day



Make up done!



Alvin and Zheng Chang



Seafood risotto



Hamburger steak + bacon



Boys





Girls



Everybody!!

(In case you noticed, this is indeed the same place as the one I went to with Eekean a few days ago. Some economic Italian restaurant at Liang Court. It's Shuyin who wanted to eat there!!)

Proceed upstairs to KTV!!

Swanky and new!



Alyssa joins us



Horrible





I LOVE THIS PHOTO MY LEGS LOOK MAD SKINNY!!







Door says 19!
Which is her birthday's date.
So we had to make a big fuss out of this.



Juicy slippers



Bdae cake



Aly diligently lighting it

And we surprise Shuyin with it when she comes back from the toilet!! (She went for mad long... All the candles melted and we believe she must have lao-sai-ed. OK lah to be fair the toilet is damn far away. But still!)

Group pic!






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Random: Mike


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More Pumpkin pics





Weeeeeeeee! I'm flying!!



One of my favourite pictures of her...

So niapish... And best of all can see Nanolove in the background!!







Naughty girl keeps licking me when she's on my lap.

These are before her hair cut:










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Dinner with RV friends at Crystal Jade/
Huifen's bdae celebration


Mad can I got a lot of friends whose birthdays are in April!!



(From left) Xiaofeng, Ripple, Jason, Huifen

(on table) My new MAC lipstick




Wishing for world peace





I love this!

Spinach cooked with

salted eggs,

century eggs and

normal eggs!

Lao niang was delegated to cut the cake because Huifen said that superstition dictates whoever's birthday is next must cut the cake for luck.

Sheng Rong: Defier of the saying that no humans can lick their elbows.



I can too!



Almost, I swear!!



Eekean failing miserably.
Her tongue was like 1 inch away from the target.


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Dinner with KK and
Rykiel at Far East



Graffiti cafe allows graffti

And a picture of said "Chanel" bag in a bit





Rykiel and I






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Ming's Bdae




In car



New Juicy dog bag bought from Ebay!

And guess who's inside?





Estee with Pumpkin!

PK was an instant hit with all the girls there man. Now everyone wants a yorkie and they all think that all yorkies are this size and won't bark. Hahahaha!

Bdae boy with his family in front of swimming pool.

I hate people with their own pools!! I want one too!


Ming and Estee

For his birthday Ming's parents gave him a little model of a VW Golf GTI.

He looked quizzically at them until he saw the papers inside. That's just a tiny model of the real thing he is getting!!

Sigh... Why isn't anyone giving me the Copen I want??

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I bought a mad chio
Chanel-inspired bag!!

I don't even like Chanel's designs very much but this one is like purplish-pink and super shiny!!!

I love how it has so many compartments and matches my nails :D

(It is INSPIRED and not FAKE - there are no Chanel logos on the bag)


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My birthday started yesterday!!

(26th that is, 2 days before my actual birthday)


I woke up with this on the bed:



Awwwwwwwwwww!

A Bangawan Solo birthday cake may not seem very romantic to most but it feels extra special to me because the brand feels so Singaporean and it reminds me of how Mike gave up his life in USA to come live here with me.

That day I asked him if he knew what Prima Deli is and he said no, so I told him they make pies and pastries. Then he replied, "Oh, is it like Polar?"

Very cute right!!

Then dinner at our favourite restaurant:

I'm gonna be really annoying and not tell you where it is because I am terrified that the place would be flooded with customers and the standard will then drop. If you already know good for you!!

Parma ham covering sweet melon and salad







Baked Eggplant



Mike's chicken tomato-cream pasta



My crabmeat linguine. OMG I love this dish so much!

Everytime I order it, I do this:
















Extract the chunks of crab meat to the side
and very very slowly savour them.



They are mad generous with the crab!!


And then back home....




My baby sings the Happy Birthday song to me way too early





Doggie is happy to get some cake



And so am I!


Tomorrow is my birthday so

wish me happy birthday ya all!!!

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Zhng-ed camera!!

Haven't been updating as I have two advertorials and more modifications to my scripts to do!

Anyway, here's my blinged-up camera!!!!

Only 2 pictures so far because I haven't uploaded those taken with my old Canon yet. These photos are taken by the Lumix with a mirror!!

Camera not finished yet but it's mostly done. :)

Mostly covered in Light Rose AB (base at size 16) with little pink pearls in between. You can't see that though.

The lens cap is covered with same-colour gems. The charm stuck there is a fake Juicy charm from a really old bracelet I had. Charm is surrounded by pink pearls too!

And a huge diamond charm dangling off the lens cap. I love it!!

Clearer photos soon!!

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WATCH NEW VIDEOS!!!!!!!!!



XIAXUE'S GUIDE TO LIFE



It's the guide to AMAZING SCIENCE!!


CHICK VS DICK



The impersonation challenge!



THE SHAN AND ROZZ SHOW



Young and old beauty queens...

Shan and Rozz finds out more about them!

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Teru Teru Bozu

Today I learnt something new!!

I love Mondays because Pet Society and Postsecret updates!! Anyway, for those of you who don't know, Pet Society is a game in Facebook that allows you to decorate your pet's room with various items!

That's my pet "Pumpkin" right there in front of her bed.

Anyway, Pet society sold the white ghost-like toy you see on the left side of the bed (I put it there for the purpose of this screenshot).

Pet society labeled it a Teru Teru Bozu.

"Oooh so cute!" I thought, and bought it. "What is it?!"

I decided that since I have no idea what it's for, it shall serve as my pet's toilet's hand towel. What! It does look like it could be used to wipe hands what!

I was just about to put it beside the mirror gleefully when I decided I shall first find out what a Teru Teru Bozu is.

Wikipedia entry.


It's a good luck charm for fair weather! People hang them on windows!!

Thank god I didn't put it in the toilet!!

Since I now know what it's for I shall be the only knowledgable fucker who puts it at the correct place muahahaha!!

I totally felt pleased with myself and showed Shuyin the wiki entry, only to have her immediately exclaim, "Ooooh Qing Tian wa wa!"

Which means "Fair weather doll" in Chinese. These dolls are apparently very popular in Taiwan too. She knew about them since long ago.

How come only I don't know shit like that?!

Nonetheless now I know!!

The Japanese Nursery rhyme for it has a line that says

"But if it's cloudy and you are crying (i.e. it's raining)
Then I shall snip your head off"

The Japanese kids are so unreasonable. Poor doll gets head snipped off despite having absolutely no control over the weather since it's just a stuffed doll.

On hindsight I also often threaten people like that.


On the note of being ignorant, I got incredulous looks from Kaykay that day before I didn't know that:

1) Highways going in opposite directions alongside each other do not necessarily have the same exits. For example, TPE (PIE) has a Lorong Halus exit but TPE (SLE) does not. WTF???

2) ALL MRT stations have some form of ATM machine from a major bank. I can't be blamed for this as I don't take public transport very often anymore. (Small voice: I am too famous...)

3) When your car skids out of control, you should turn INTO the skid instead of AGAINST the skid. Explanation here.

Like for example if it skids left you oughta turn LEFT instead of right like your instincts will tell you to.

Kaykay said this is common knowledge as it is mentioned in the Basic Theory book. I took that test about 7 years ago and for the life of me do not remember ever reading that. I guess I should be glad I can never skid as I haven't taken my test yet???


BTW regarding those of you who asked me about my driving - I've been procrastinating as I think my driver instructor really sucks. He doesn't ever listen to anything I say - like he literally cuts me off halfway and gabbles some rubbish he thinks is funny, and he doesn't ever answer any of my questions properly.

And he is really busy all the time too!

And he is constantly talking!! That day he drove past some carpark and he said he saw his friend (a middle-aged uncle like him I suppose) in the car with his China mistress. He started to talk about how Singaporean men like him get lonely and get mistresses and it just made me goddamn uncomfortable can.

I started insulting these Cheena sluts in a vicious way and he clearly disagreed and we fell into an awkward silence.

Then he'd ask me what I do for a living.

This is a question I often get asked by these stupid people I cannot be bothered to explain myself to. My most common retort is that I am a "writer" and I write stuff. How can I say I am a blogger right?? They won't know what it is!

Then the nosy people go like "where do you write are you a reporter??" and I just vaguely say "the web" and hope they don't go on more.

But noooooooooooooo....

My instructor then goes on, "Woah! The money good ah? You so free can come have lessons anytime? Wow can dye your hair so blonde ah? Eh how you earn money on the web? Teach Uncle leh..."

Even with my half hearted grunts he goes on in a relentless taxi driver way.

"Wow you must be rich! Wow you got tattoo ah? Eh Uncle also got this student got tattoo. You know what not? Is a lizard. Lizard leh behind the ear like you. Go gear 4 now."

Blah blah blah.

"Wow your boyfriend angmoh ah? You only like angmoh? Why not married yet? Uncle 25 years old married already... Angmoh good ah? Angmoh no good lah... Chinese good..."


URGH!

And he types smses to me in the worst English ever!!!!!!!!! I WANNA DIE!!!


So anyway I wanna change instructors but I don't know how to break it to him! And my test date is booked under his IC number. How sia?!

Anyone with good instructors? I am open to learning manual or auto (I've had like maybe 10 manual lessons though but I still suck at it and driving off from a hill makes my car roll backwards and freaks me out so much I start hyperventilating). Email me email me!! xiaxue@gmail.com

Ok I am supposed to be writing my script kbye/

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Random boring updates

Bah! I totally need to be more motivated to blog.

But it's not my fault that nothing has been angering me recently! Reminds me of the good old days when Plasticzilla threatened to sue me and jolted me to blog like 10 times a day.

Time really flies doesn't it? Would you believe it... In 2 months' time it would have been one freaking year since she yabbered some rubbish about being very determined to sue!

Now I've got money!!

Come and get it!

Ahem anyway enough about Powdery Plastic Plagiarizers! (I totally made that up isn't it ingenious?! PPP!!!! HAHAHA)

I got good news for YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!

I've finally had enough of lousy compact cameras, and I BOUGHT A SEMI PRO one!

It's the Panasonic Lumix Lx3!!

I bought it for $699 and it's the best 700 bucks I've ever spent!

I've always thought there are your normal digicams and SLRs and nothing in between, but there is!

SLRs were obviously out of the question for me because I won't bother to bring it out since it's so goddamn heavy (and ugly - totally un-zhng-able man).

And I've been complaining about my Canon Ixus for the longest time. Everybody loves Canon and maybe it is indeed the best among the compact cameras, but still... There are limits.

I find that my ixus's flash is way too strong and consistently overexposes close subjects. If I do not turn on the flash, the photo will turn out either too dark or completely blur.

I love taking Macros (close-up shots) but the macro mode does not allow flash and for some reason it is ALWAYS too dark.

It's just annoying lah... For example right, to get that photo of my ulcer, I had to take like seriously at least 30 shots before I could get one that's not blurry.

I HATE it when people help me take photos and they go and shut off the flash simply because everyone looks less harsh without flash. WITHOUT FAIL THE PHOTO WILL BE BLUR.

Or orangey. Very annoying right? What a waste of time!

OMG MAJOR PET PEEVE.

And blurry non-flash shots are so fucking irritating because sometimes the moment just passes you by and all you have left is a photo of indistinct shapes.

Flash shots might be bright and harsh but at least it will ALWAYS be sharp. The rest can be edited by photoshop.

Nonetheless I love that Canon's cameras take really vivid photos. That I have to admit is better than my old Sony compact cameras. (Although admittedly Sony takes better macros lah.)

And for some reason the Powershot E1 I was sponsored (Remember the candy pink camera?) performs much better than the Ixus!

I gave that to Shuyin for her birthday though. I meant to wait till 19th of April to surprise her with it but the stupid woman came to my place and saw the camera box on the shelf and asked me why I chose white for the camera instead of pink.

I tried to patronise her but she kept asking questions so in the end I just gave it to her early. Neh neh!

So anyway back to the Lx3.

I knew I wanted a new camera so I stopped at a camera shop at Far East thinking of getting a Cybershot specifically for macros. I asked and the guy said the model I was looking at is selling for $320.

The next shop I went to said it is selling for $260.

Then I went to Sim Lim.

It was selling for $220. (!)

I said I will think about it and walked away because the storeowner was becoming very aggressive.

He tried to coax me back and said he will sell it to me for $150!!

WTF MAN SERIOUSLY!

How can it be possible can drop from $320 to $150 one?? Less than half price leh! Anyway so cheap I don't want already lor!


I floundered around a bit more and went to more shops irritating store owners by completely not knowing what I want because I didn't do any research and didn't know what kinda cameras there are.

No research because words like "F2.0 2.5x 24mm ultra-wide angle lens" scare me to death. Who the fuck knows what that means?!

Anyway finally this young salesgirl was being nice and patient to me!

Me: "I want a good camera. I don't care about the price but I want something not too big! Do you have anything like that? Like in between SLR and those." I pointed to the mass array of colourful compacts on display.

Actually I have no idea if those cameras are called compacts but I can't be bothered to find out.

She tried to coax me to buy another small Canon camera for a bit until I told her I already have that. -_-

And she finally brought out the Lx3!!

She took a picture of me in the store and I WAS SOLD.

IT WAS BEAUTIFUL!

And best of all it's really not big (about maybe 30% bigger than my canon and amazingly about the same weight) and it comes in silver (besides dull black), which can be zhng-ed!!!

See the lens cap? It can be detached completely from the camera. To prevent you from losing the cap, the camera has two loops for you to thread a string through!

MUAHAHAHA MY "STRING" IS A STRING OF CHIO WHITE PEARLS!

I threaded the pearls with a transparent fishing line!! WOOHOO! I am mega innovative!

I'm now waiting for my diamantes to arrive, and when they do, Imma transform the whole camera into this bimbo looking toy!!

Then after I take the photos people will go like WOW YOUR CAMERA TAKES SUCH GOOD PICTURES!

And I can huff and go like "EXCUSE ME IT IS A SEMI-PRO AND IT COSTS $700 BUCKS OF COURSE TAKES GOOD PICTURES RIGHT! YOU SOUND SO ILL-INFORMED. THAT WILL TEACH YOU TO JUDGE PEOPLE BY THEIR LOOKS!"

Totally hmpf and walk away.


MUAHAHA!


Ahem.

I posted about my purchase on fb and suddenly loads of people were complimenting me on my camera choice and Rozz and another blogger friend Coleman totally has the same camera!

Why didn't anyone tell me about the Lx3 before?!

I fucking LOVE the photos it takes man.

- Non-flash photos are never blur unless the subject is like Pumpkin bouncing around.

- The colours are totally vibrant.

- It can do the depth of field/field of depth thingy.

- It lets me name 2 babies (left blank) and a pet!! I'm serious! It has a doggie mode and you can put in the name of your pet and its birthday!! Everytime I take a photo of Pumpkin her name appears and the camera tells me EXACTLY how old Pumpkin is (down to days)!

She just turned 6 months btw. I won't know if not for the camera. I suppose the people at Panasonic think that people who buy Lx3s all are the sort of people with 2 kids and 1 dog. Just goes to show them - Rozz, Coleman and I all don't have babies hor!!

- Accidents when you try to take an upskirt photo sneakily and the flash comes on, embarrassing you to death? Never gonna happen because you literally have to manually pop the flash up or it will never go.



There are also loads of other good stuff about it lah but it involves talking about ISOs and that makes me slightly nauseous so I am not going to.

This blog entry is so boring!! You think so? Well fuck you! Hahahahaha! I love my camera wheeee!!

Ringo also got herself a swanky camera some time ago and I told her I was thinking of getting a nice camera too. She told me I really should do it and I won't regret it!

Completely true man. Now I look at my old photos in major distaste. They are all so gross and FLAT looking. Is true story.

I took loads of pics with the new camera so hold on for them!

p/s: I am totally singing my own gabbled version of the Korean Nobody song by Wonder Girls as I am blogging. It's stuck in my head. I wanna learn the dance!

p/p/s: Anyone else plays Word Challenge on FB? My high score is almost 63k!! I am totally amazed by my ability to decipher anagrams!!

UPDATE: NOW 71k!!

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GAG TO THE MAX

XIAXUE'S GUIDE TO LIFE

Got PRANKED for April's Fool Day!!!!!!!!

Anyway yes yes hair very yellow face very red. I told you all I got sunburnt and now my hair is not so yellow anymore coz my stylist put toner for me!!

Xiaxue learns social etiquette. Is it possible?


CHICK VS DICK

THE most disgusting episode of ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got so traumatized watching it, I gagged at least 10 time!

What is wrong with these two???

You HAVE to watch this.

The Shan and Rozz Show

Interviewing this guy who claimed to have sex with 30 women over 2 months or something!

I know at least one of those girls, don't you?

I won't say much about his taste. LOL!!!!!!!!

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