Wednesday, May 28, 2003

There is too much excitement in my life recently. In fact, Ah dong and PY commented that my blog is gonna get into disarray with Bernard around. True he is taking up pretty much of my time recently.... Lets just hope that he will be worth the time consumed.

Besides Bernard, whats the second big excitement?

Did I really forget to mention that I bought my SONY CYBERSHOT U20 (rose/pink) the day before?!!! Gosh, itz a long dream finally come true. If u do read my blog u would know how long it has been since I fantasized about it.

Here is the baby...

Actually I took that picture in my room with a mirror. Quite successful right? I decided to airbrush away the surroundings so that the it gives me an angelic feel. If u are thinking at this precise moment, "Angels dunch go around taking nude photos of themselves", you are right.

U are right that Angels dun go around taking nude photos. But I was not nude. I was wearing a white tube to add to the angelic feeling but somehow it didnt turn up. Dammit. I look nude.

Thats not the point. The point is, is my camera or hers nicer?

Wahahhahha. Hers u say. No. Mine is nicer. Coz it is pink.

I bought my camera at $406 at a shop at Far East. Bloody hell that auntie damn jia lat one leh.

I asked her for the price and she said it costs $399. Thats relatively cheap coz the other stores are selling at $420 and are willing to cut it to $400 if I paid cash. I bargained till she gave me a good price of $390.

I took out the money to pay and suddenly she took out a calculator and said, "With GST it is $406 in total."

I stunned for a moment and decided I shall not let the cheatabug earn my money. I thought of a good excuse.

"Huh??! But Auntie I only got $400 with me leh."

She damn smart. She attacked poor Bernard.

"Ask your boyfriend to pay for you lor, 6 dollars only what." *smiles at Bernard with a 'U are not so giam right? U love her right?' face*

"Huh Auntie dun want lar I go check the other shops first lar."

Bernard: *takes out 6 bucks and put it on the table*

Auntie: *smiles like a manic*

Perhaps I should also mention that Bernard volunteered to pay $20 for my camera as a belated birthday gift. Damn nice right. After which he paid the Auntie another $6.

I wanted to buy a hp pouch for the camera coz the bloody original case costs $75. Fucking ridiculous. Just a silly leather case. So we went to a shop in Heeren to buy the case. I was utimately broke but I still had $20.74 in my bank account so I tried to use Nets to pay for the pouch, which costs $4.90. The fella at the counter said that purchases below $10 had to be paid with cash.

So Bernard paid another $4.90. He later paid for my food as well. Thats a grand total of $30.90 for a person who is not anyone to you. Nice.

And thats not counting the amt for petrol for biking me from Kembangan (thats where he stays) to Jurong like 4, 5 times with no complains. Nice.

Digressing a little, I would like to say that I got an UTIMATE big ulcer and I took a picture of it.

It may not be very clear but if u look carefully u can see it. Very painful! And it is not getting better. Dammit.

I want to talk about today. I went to PY's place wth Ah dong.

U see, PY and Ah dong are going to Ritz Carlton (banquet) to work with me this Friday. It will be their first time banqueting. Since I was an old employee there, I told the manager I wanted to bring in friends to work too. I know that Ritz's banquet is possibly not doing well coz of Sars.

Thus they will not waste time hiring not experienced ppl. So, in order to get Ah dong and PY a place as a silly banquet waitress, I had to bluff the manager that they are DAMN experienced and do not need any cumbersome training at all.

The cumbersome training would have to be done by me then. Spend like 2 hours teaching them everything about Banqueting. If fact, I am so used to being a bloody banquet waitress that I think I can actually write a book to educate ppl. It will be called Wendy's 1001 Banqueting Know-hows For Dummies.

Every hotel will buy my book and treat it like a bible. In fact, they will pray to it after I die. The managers will be so happy that they dun need to retrain every employee with the exact same speech. All they need is to shove my book (aka banquet bible) into the recruits' hands and test them after that.

"Manager what should I do with the fish head?!"

"Read BB (AKA Banquet bible. Banquet ppl have a weird fetish for short forms) page 49 index 2.11 'What to do with the bloody ugly fish head.'"

"oh okie." *Goes away enlightened*

Not only will I save the Hotel ppl alot of time and effort, I will set the standards for banqueting. You will soon hear things like this.

Guest 1: "Wah lau that sharks' fin is not served in the correct way!"

Guest 2: "Huh how u know? Serve Sharks' fin got correct way one meh?"

Guest 1: "Got! U nv read the Banqueting Bible (they all term it the BB coz the real name is too long and no one wants to be called a dummy) penned by Wendy meh? She say must serve anti-clockwise with ladle tilted 45 degrees from the lazy susan (that turning piece of glass. Make a guess who invented it) and more than 2 drops of Sharks' fin dropped renders the waiter a completely useless one. Most likely he will drop an abalone later too."

*Waiter drops a piece of Abalone when he hears the above.*

Guest 1: "See I told u she is good. She is damn famous oso. Read her blog at!"

Guest 2: "Ahhhhhh... I will tonight. Hey wait! Thats my abalone!" *cries*

Good idea huh. What gives me the right to write the book? Lets see the hotels I worked at before.

-Ritz carlton Millennia
-The Pan Pacific
-Marina Mandarin
-New Park Hotel
-Sheraton Towers
-Orchard Parade Hotel

Wahahhaha... Thats quite a bit. Anyway today on my way to go to PY's place, something happened.

I walked a good 10 minutes to the bus stop to go over to her place then I realised that my EZlink is most likely empty and I do not have cash on me. At all. I checked and realised I only had 55 cents.

I didnt want to walk back to get the money coz it is so damn hot and oso I was very late.

The ATM machine was just near by so I tried to get some money outta it. As I mentioned earlier, I only had $20.74 left. And the minimum withdrawal is $20. I didnt know that the minimum amount left in the bank is supposed to be $1 or something. Dammit!!! I just needed that 26 cents more!

At this precise panicky point of time, something very typical happened. The bus came.

I ran for it, praying that my EZlink miraculously topped itself up. I tapped the bloody thing and it replied annoying with a loud *TEHHH*.

I took out the 55 cents, put it in and walked to the back, trying my best to act like I am a secondary school student.

It didnt work of coz. The bus driver asked me to show him my student pass. I said I didnt bring. He said I muz pay adult fare. I showed him my empty wallet and said that i didnt have any more money on me.

He accepted the 55 cents and told me to remember to bring the bus pass in future.

I must say that the uncle is very nice indeed, but I was just wondering something. If I didnt bring my Bus pass (which is oso an EZlink now), what was it I used to tap just now? If I was really a student I would never have bought the adult Ezlink so the one in my wallet (which has no money) must be my bus pass.


Heng he didnt realise this and force me to show him my Ezlink. It would have this fellow's face on it.

It is my brother. Act stylo like EK lor. Wahahhahaha...

When the bus driver sees this I would have to explain to him that I shot up overnight and I went to Thailand to get a sex change.

Oh man what a long blog entry. It is to compensate for the few days of not writing. All Bernard's fault, hahahha.

Oh yeah obviously I took some of his pictures. He kept avoiding the camera by turning to the side so it resulted in alot of pictures like this:

Please note the gold chain. Welcome to the world of Ah bengs. Lolz