Saturday, May 31, 2003

Yesterday at Ritz

Today I shall expose a picture of myself without make-up.

Wahahha it is taken by bo liao XF. In fact, she took down the whole make up process, but I shall not bore you guys. She and PY thinks that it is utterly embarrassing to put make-up on the mrt. I really dun find anything wrong with it. If make up is an art, then the person drawing portraits on the streets shld oso be embarrassed right!

Whats wrong with ppl who dun like other ppl applying make-up on public transport! Got nothing to do while travelling may as well sleep more at home and apply make-up then. I dun see how it would affect anymore. Its not as if it is very disturbing to the eyes.

Anyway, we reached Ritz carlton and we are eating at the staff cafe!! I took a picture of Xf and PY.

I told you PY is grouchy! Wahahha.. She is irritated by the fact that I keep taking snapshots of them while they are eating. The "I'm cool" sticker on her blouse makes her a walking oxymoron. LOL...

Meanwhile XF entertained me with a smile. Hey afterall I paid $406 for the silly pink camera, at least gimme a smile mah, hahaha.

Xf is very upset that she looks like a Zhong guo mei. In case you are wondering how China's transversites look like, see the pic. LOLz.. Kidding kidding. We are all just jealous of beautiful XF's looks.

The dinner was so grand... All the guests looked so rich.

Hey wait! I saw someone with a Kiplings backpack and casual jeans. Ah, finally someone not carrying Gucci or LV. She was carrying a toddler. The scene looks familiar. The kid doesnt look like hers. Ahhh... Itz a maid. Great. It makes All the guests look rich once again. At least the invited ones.

I tried to hit on this cutie coz I decided if he is a friend of the groom perhaps he would want to hold his wedding dinner at Ritz as well. I dun mind being the bride.

Just as I sashayed over to him to ask him, "Sir, would you like to... have some wine...(hint: and my number)?", I realised the girl beside him.

Ahhhh... Totally expected, no? She can't be his sister coz Cutie looked like an Eurasian while Gal looked totally Chinese. Whats worse is that she is damn tall. Not very pretty, but damn tall.

I looked down at my flat banquet shoes.

I dun want her to look down on me. Decided I shall not go over then. Instead, I told all the banquet girls to look at the Cutie. Later on I happened to walk into their paths and Tall gal took a drink from me. She was very nice and polite. I felt a teeny weeny bit bad to lust after her bf.

I got over the guilt in a bit and continued lusting.

The wedding couple

The wedding couple are Indonesian. This reminds me of the only Indo-Chinese I know and it is Adryan. Adryan's uncle owns this big piece of land in Indonesia which contains a mountain. The mountain's stones, rocks etc are being dug out to export to Singapore to built roads, bridges etc.

In fact, if I didnt remember wrongly the Sentosa bridge was built using Adryan's uncle's mountain.

In conclusion, Adryan's uncle is rich. But Adryan isn't.

There goes another chance of having a wedding dinner at Ritz. And I dun even mind being the bridesmaid since Adryan likes XF. If he marries her I will carry her train. I conclude that XF will let me be the bridesmaid coz she wouldnt want to risk PY biting her on her big day (PY is violent). But no. Adryan is not rich like his uncle or the Indo-Chinese couple yesterday.

I took a picture of them when their wedding photos are being screened on the big screen. SO ENVIOUS! I WANT MY PICTURE THERE TOO!!! The gal is very sweet looking...

I guess my only chance of having a wedding dinner at Ritz is by marrying Slutty Shengrong. But SR will marry EK. Speaking of which, EK apparently told SR about my blog and it seems like he reads it. So I can't say much without ruining my chances of marrying SR.

I dun even mind if I marry SR and he has an affair with EK. Wahahhahaha... So confusing...

Anyway, about SR. Look at his picture. See the I-eat-bird's-nest-everyday skin. See the braces. Ahhhh.. rich kid. His uncles own the Hyatt hotel in HK. What the, everyone has rich uncles. But SR's family is doing not bad too. I shall seduce his cousins after I marry him.

Maybe I shouldnt break EK's heart by hypnotizing SR to marry me. Maybe I should try to seduce Ghimz instead. That day Ghim let Ek and I see the fishball factory that his dad owns.

We were standing outside the factory waiting for Ghimz to drive the lorry out. (His dad refuses to let him drive the family mercs in fear of him scratching it, so he has to drive a lorry!) There was this moment of silence, and EK suddenly said, "I would rather have this factory than SR's house."

SR's house is a $5.3 million affair at Orchard.

I decided I agree.

Anyway all the bullshit about seducing friends are just, plain bullshit. I'm not a materialistic gal *ahem*. I just feel like having a wedding at Ritz. And I realise, at that time, that I wouldn't know who to sit Eddy with, just like I dunch know who he will sit me with. Just to punish him for not liking me, I will make him sit with a bunch of pastors, who will preach him to death.

In fact, maybe in a table of 10 ppl, I will put 7 pastors, and Eddy, Adryan, and Bernard. Eddy and Adryan can discuss why they dun like me but they would have to listen in respect to the pastors preach. So they cant really discuss much. Bernard would be bored to death with all the English and the preaching. In fact, he might start to beat the pastors up.

"Cheebye lar shut up lar!" He might say. He takes out a piece of Char siew from nowhere and whacks everyone in sight.

Eddy and Adryan will stop Bernard from beating ppl up although secretly they are very happy the pastors were beaten up coz the pastors were from City Harvest.

Since Eddy is gay (I'm kidding) he might fall in love with Adryan since Adryan looks like American Idol Clay Aiken. I suspect Adryan is gay too since he likes XF although she is a transversite. Eddy and Adryan will be together finally and they will call each other Dydy and Yanyan (which is my name btw).

Adryan being his silly self would think that Eddy still misses me coz Eddy keeps calling "Yanyan!" during s*x. He accuses Eddy of having an affair with me.

Adryan breaks with Eddy and storms off to Indonesia where he might "make a mountain out of a molehill", finally failing to be rich like his uncle.

Eddy is heartbroken and becomes a lama at tibet where there will be no more er nu si qing.

Bernard will storm home very angry with Leonard and XF for introducing me to him. To him, it was a sucky wedding though and though. He will beat Leonard up with another piece of Char siew taken out from nowhere. Which is what I want to do too coz Bernard is a jerk and I REGRET KNOWING HIM!

Thanks alot XF!