Sunday, June 29, 2003

Alright enough about today.

Lets talk about Jonathon.

I found a love letter I once wrote to him. I think it sounds quite mushy so dun puke yeah?

The princess felt warm lips softly touch her supple skin and a magical tingling feeling swept over her. Slowly, she opened her eyes, and let her senses recover from the long sleep. She felt strong hands on her own fragile ones, and when her pupils met his she immediately knew he was the one for her. Slipping a diamond ring onto her finger, the prince said huskily, "Marry me, my goddess.." She swallowed hard. Staring at the chiselled face and those deep set eyes, she could not bring herself to say the "Yes!" exploding in her heart but instead just nodded happily.

NO! Wait... Wrong wrong wrong. Fairy tales cheat naive little girls into thinking those creatures from mars with the dangly thing are actually good-natured. Only from experience would they know these creatures are capable of deep cruelty(Raping, ditching, two-timing, blowjobs etc), doesn't help the princess do the dishes, neglects princess because of football, etc.

As I slowly climbed out of adolescence, I must say I had more than my fair share of bad male behaviour (I say male beacuse some are actually inhumane). To begin with there was Kristopher with "I have five girlfriends currently! Stop pestering me, I am not interested in a patch up!". My neighbours were deafened by the sound of my heart breaking. And then there were guys who run away when namely: They see my pimples, they know I don't wanna have sex, they see my height, they know they can't cheat my money coz I am too smart, etc. I got so used to the excuse "I need to concentrate on my studies" to get a break up that I wonder whether it is published somewhere or my bfs actually consult my exs on how to break up with me.

My prince is NEVER gonna come
(cum, whahahhahaha! My prince is never gonna cum! Imagine if I used cum!! Wahahhaha... Oops sorry self amusement. Lets continue.), I thought. He must have died fighting Liverpool fans, or dranks too much beer and turned into a beer dispenser. Boy, how wrong was I! He came in disguise, with a fake name Jonathon Yeow, beacuse he knew "Prince Charming" was too obvious. He even put a spell to suck up his muscles for more reality. I wasn't suspicious; he managed to pull the wool over my eyes for some time.

But the problem is, he slowly revealed loopholes. He shines like sunlight during my darkest times, putting DeBeers to shame. He is so patient snails take him as an idol, and more supportive than Triumph and Wocoal combined. He is so caring my mum felt guilty, and so sweet, cake and lollipops hug each other, crying.

He is accomodating in every way possible, and loves me so much that earthquakes wouldn't have stopped him from meeting me. He is, I discovered, actually a skinny angel without wings.
(Jonathon is very thin)

Two months. I have been with my angel for two months already! I pinch myself everyday expecting to wake up from my sweet dream, and expect his phone number to have never existed in the first place. Nope, that didn't happen. It seems like he is here to stay, complete with a family! Well even angels don't like to be taken for grant, so, my angel, I just wanna tell u that I love you so! You are truly one in a billion and once in a lifetime. Please don't ever leave me; I would be in such a loss! :) Thanks for everything u have done for me!

After reading this u are possibly thinking:

1) How come prince became angel halfway?

I dunno. Blunder. Seem like Jonathon didn't notice though, he merely gave me a smile and a hug.

2) Can I copy this whole chunk to write to my bf/gf?

I am generous. Since Jonathon did not appreciate this, someone else shld. That is IF u think it is a nice love letter lar. Feel free to delete his name and attributes to put someone elses in, but if he/she asks whether u wrote this urself, u better say no. This is not coz I want credit for my writing. This is coz u will never know if ur bf/gf reads my blog one day. U wun wanna get into that kinda trouble.

3) Did you ever use this essay for other guys as well? *wink wink*

Nope. The first reason is that the hard copy of this was lost for a few years and I just found it in that Jonathon pile of photos. In fact, when Jonathon broke up with me, I did the very sensible thing which most people cannot bring themselves to do.

That is, to destroy (or hide) everything single thing that strongly reminds u of him. U keep the happy photo frames lying around, and u can jolly well wallow in self-pity thinking Boohoohoo we used to be so happy, why did this all have to change boohoohoo why why why when I love him so much he doesn't love me anymore! everyday. Thats not healthy.

I suggest u pass the happy photos to me and I will help u photoshop Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston beside you, depending on ur preference.

Needless to say, the toothbrush he/she used to use shld be thrown away too. *ahem* Face it, he/she is not coming back anymore. If ur toothbrush happens to be Lion brand, which is very difficult to find, I suggest u try to erase off the SHIRLEY on it and let other guests use it, unwittedly. U can then snigger while they brush their teeth.

The letter plus photos plus teddy bears plus lovegetys of Jonathon remained lost at the top of my cupboard until I found it recently.

The second reason is that I no longer think any guy would be shiny, patient, caring, supportive, sweet, accomodating and have met me during earthquakes. Most ironic of all would be the sentence It seems like he is here to stay,... Stay my foot. I have learnt that we can never conclude such things, can we? Just as we are so sure, the person leaves. Wonderful.

I had this ex classmate, who when she was 17, told us she is gonna get married once she gets outta poly. Her bf is 27 and they were together for merely half a year. I asked her how come so can be so sure the fella is gonna marry her, has he proposed already?

She said no, he didn't propose or anything, but she is sure.

I told her she can never be sure. Men... Who can be sure about what they think? 3 years (till poly ends) is a long time, skarly also break liao.

She angrily said their love is strong.

Her love for him is relatively strong I guess, thats undeniable. Thats coz the last I heard of her was that the bf beat her up, and yet she still stayed on with him. I can totally understand. I felt like beating her up sometimes too. But she is a totally different subject altogether, lets go back to Jonathon.