Tuesday, June 17, 2003

I'm very pissed with my computer. Yesterday, I wrote my blog entry happily. It was a rather long one at that. I took a break when I almost finished, and decided to surf a little. And guess what? Internet explorer hung. Great. All I wrote were lost!

I rewrote the entry a second time. This time, i told myself that blog writing is divine and sacred, the attention cannot be shared with other websites. After I finished writing, I pressed "post". Guess what happened? It showed "the page cannot be displayed". I pressed "back" as my sweat droplets formed on my forehead. This can't be happening again, dammit!

But it did happen. So there goes that previous entry. I am gonna try to rewrite everything now.

Valid for yesterday:

I'm a very happy gal today!

Heck, I'm mostly happy, but today started with a good hair day, and thats the beginning to a happy day! But the hell are u supposed to be happy when u wake up looking like an Afro ken? U may argue that Afro kens look perfectly fine but thats coz they are Afro kens. If the previous sentence doesn't make sense to u, read it 10 times over and it might.

As usual the pic is edited. But it still looks ugly. Anyway, I had a very huge pimple on my chin. If u squint u might see the airbrush marks. But no! My photoshop skills are too good.

U might say it is not a good hair day coz very obviously, one side is much longer, and curlier. I say you dunno my hair's temper. Today is fine. U say that u had enough about bimbo topics like hair. So we move on to other superficial topics.

Like money.

Muahahahahahha! The $200 I cheated has became real money! And I am gonna spend it shopping at the GSS!

Yesterday I went to Bernard's place. Nope, we are not together or anything, just friends. Bernard's dad bought us packet dinners. On Bernard's packet, it wrote: bernard.

On mine:

Wahahhahahaahhaha! I find it very amusing! Bernard has never told his family that I am his gf or anything like that but it seems that they have assumed it as such. I got so amused by being called "nu peng you" that I skipped violently from the kitchen to the room to take a photo while telling Bernard that he is doomed to be stuck with me now.

The dad watched the drama unfold, having no idea that it was his innocent labelling that caused all the pandemonium. I must have looked like a lunatic to him when I hopped into the room with the packet of pork chop rice. Bernard insists that his dad meant to buy the rice for S.H.E. Lame hor?

Anyway Bernard said that I look like Yvonne Lim when he saw the blog's background. Ahh.. Recently alot of ppl say the edited picture look like her. I dun mind. I think she is relatively pretty. Although I know that in real life I dun look like her, I still find it a cheap thrill that my creation looks like her.

In fact, this is Yvonne Lim.

You see the resemblance? Coz I dun. Lets try to photoshop her face a little. My eyes are smaller. I always put blusher. My nose is way flatter. My lips are not perky. yadda yadda.

Still dun look like, u say. I know. But I did put in some efforts to photoshop it, so although I failed miserabley, I shall still post it up. Thats coz there are crazy ppl who might say it really looks like.

The day before, I went to preorder The Order of the Phoenix, which is due to be out on Ek's birthday, 21st of June. She seems to take the coincidence as something to be proud of.

Anyway, EK really got into Law school! Thats great ain't it? Maybe I will set up a law column where u all can ask her questions regarding which laws u all can break. Of course, our lawyer friend will be too busy taking bribes to bother answering silly blog readers' queries.

To not let the law column fall into disarray, plus the fact that I refuse to admit that it is a flop, the answers will all be answered by me. Dun gimme that look that I will land u all in jail. I'm pretty good with Law as well. I got a B. Anyway u all will know when it is me who answer.

Qns: Mdm Enormous Ek the excellent lawyer, I would like to admit that I like Wendy's blog alot. I like all her pictures too. I would like to publish it as a book. I'm sure it would be more popular than Adrian Mole's secret diary. Can I just copy and put it all in? Will she be able to sue me for copyrights?

Ans (authentic): No, sir, I'm afraid u cannot do so without her sueing ur ass off. Copyright is the intellectual property right given to the creator of an original work. There are many forms of work and if u publish whatever she has wrote into a book, u will be copying the following:

-Literary works - Wendy's words.
-Dramatic works - Certain parts of her blog contains script-like elements.
-Artistic works - There are some of her drawings. And then there are her photos as well.

A copyright owner may enforce his rights by seeking an injunction againtst threatened infringement. He may also seek damages (meaning u have to pay) and an account of profit, if the infringer had made profits at his expense.

Answer (mine): Copy your head ah. I, I mean, Wendy, will sue ur backside off. Anyway my, I mean, her archives are fucking not working again. U wanna copy u copy lor. Try to right click and see what happens?!

Yup. Wonderful. Anyway, Ek is going to Melbourne soon, where Herpes are prevalent in one in every six Australians. Huh, you ask me whether the sheeps are safe to shag instead of humans? I dunno man! The best is to shag blow up dolls I guess.

EK asked me to attend her Law camp in place of her. I am frankly excited. I will bring translucent white tees only and make sure it gets all wet during the games! I will then try to seduce all the to-be-lawyers, which are no doubt dream guy material.

There is only one problem. What if all the real to-be-lawyers are all touring the world and they all asked their poly friends to take their place too?

Guy: Hi, I'm Josh!

Me: Hi, I'm Ee Kean!

Guy: I was from Hwa Chong. I was from the Waterpolo team and I am its captain. I take F maths. I am also my school's top student this year. Did I forget to mention that I am Prom King too? I stay at 6th Ave and my family has been lawyers for the 67th generation running. My grandfather is Lee Kwan Yew's cousin.

Me: Eh, I was from RJ. I have 4 As for my As. I play the bassoon for the school band which has won its 346th gold medal this year. I dun stay too far away from u. I stay in West Coast in a big 3 storeyed house!

Guy: Oh wonderful. U are of a high class breeding like me too. I like your Gucci bag. How much did u buy it for?

Me: Eh, $1,800. And thanks for the compliment. I like ur Bentley too.


5 days later when I fell in love with dream guy.

Me: I have something to confess to you. The real Enormous Ee Kean is away in Melbourne. Possibly counting real sheep to fall asleep. I am from SP actually. My intelligence is only average, and I am definitely not of a high class breeding. In fact, I can't even play a musical instrument except the recorder. I dun even stay in a 3 storeyed house. I stay at teban gardens.

Guy: Huh that sounds like a condo to me.

Me: You idiot. It is not. Anyway all these are not important! Please tell me u dun think it is important.

Guy: Okie. All these are not important. Which part of EK is enormous?

Me: Generosity, to let me attend the Law camp.

Guy: I see... Erm, it doesn't matter that u cheated me. Coz Josh is in South Africa playing water polo against North Koreans.

Me: Why am I not surprised? Anyway what are North Koreans doing in South Africa?

Guy: No idea.

Me: Okie. So u from poly as well? This is Josh's yacht?

Guy: Poly? Nah. I dun need to study. This is Josh's yacht alright.

Me: Oh.

Guy: Haha you look disappointed. I dun study coz I am an Arab prince. Josh's yacht is a baby. I mean literally. Mine is over there.

*He points to Star Aquarius*

Guy: "Too crowded though. If not I would have brought you. The bentley's really mine though. Can u marry me baby? Coz I am so in love with you!"

Me, thinking of what Eileen said about Arabs (read 2 entries down): Yes yes please!

Oops why did the story develop into a happy one? Nvm lar. I am meeting Eddy for dinner at Ikea. We will be shopping for furniture for our future home. Yeah right. Just going there for the meatballs, haha...

More blogging tonight.