Thursday, June 19, 2003

Lets talk about wealth today.

Its sickening isn't it? Singapore is supposed to be democratic, so it means that everyone has a fair chance to be rich. Thats a whole truckload of bullshit.

Lets see what happens when u are poor, and not smart enough to be a doctor or lawyer etc. How do u get rich?

1) Start ur own business and see if it manages to succeed. Alright. So u start to import a kind of wondeful shampoo to Singapore. It is so wonderful, that it can totally make ur hair be shiny, smooth and soft. It is a tad more expensive coz it is imported though.

Its properties are claimed by YOU. Who would believe u? Who will even HEAR what u have to say about ur product? Ahhh.. Advertisements. Would ppl do your ads for free? No. You have no money. And to get ur product into guardian u already spent the loan from the bank. So no ads.

You can only pray for word of mouth.

Now, in the market for established goods, we can hardly find any where it is the perfect competition model (for those who dun take biz, it means the market share being split into relatively equal bits for alot of sellers). Mostly, there will be this very big MNC who will be barbaricly taking more and more of the market share.

How? Alright. Say in the market for shampoo, we have different needs dun we? Some want shiny. Pantene. Some want saloon style. Vidal Sassoon. Some dun want their dandruff. Head and shoulders. Some want shiny asian hair. Ascend. Some want a mild shampoo which wun hurt eyes. Rejoice.

So Pantene, Vidal Sassoon, H & S, Ascend and Rejoice all have a fair share of the market for their different target audience? Yeah right. They all belong to this disgustingly big company called Procter and Gamble. P & G. I know coz I once worked for them as a shampoo promoter. The building is so disgustingly big, and they are earning so much, that they can afford big plush cushions everywhere and a few playstations laying around for its employees to relax. Relax of course... Money is rolling in, why bother?

P & G not only semi-monopolises the shampoo market. Whisper and Pringles belong to them too. Among other household items.

Alright so attacking into an established market is out. Coz you would only get kicked out in a short while by the giants.

The solution?

2) Invent and sell something new.

The market for the new product is all yours! But problem is, what are the chances that you invent something unique? Actually it is not that difficult. Ppl have just put mushrooms, cheese or bananas on Roti Prata and got famous. I suggest u try putting yummy chicken on Roti Prata. Oh wait, thats murtabuk (dunno how to spell).

Alright. You invent a new product. It sells very well. AHA! Then comes the patenting part. You wun want ppl to copy ur business idea, would u? But patenting is very expensive. So u pray no one will copy you.

U wish. Look at bubble tea stores. All the copycats make them all fail.

In this case, u might want to choose to be the one copying instead. At least u dun need to go and think about inventing something.

3) Work hard ur whole life and hope u can get a senior position in big companies in P & G. Nobody is interested in doing this. It is relatively impossible unless u have had a very good education or is the boss' mistress.

4) Set up a multi layer marketing company. Please note I said SET UP. Not join.

Alright, for the rare few who has not been approached before, lets explain how the system works. It is fairly interesting.

Take note that we are now changing a perspective. Usually MLM is explained using the employee perspective. Now lets look at what the company earns. They always make it sounds as if the company is not earning anything, and wealth is shared among the employees. Hmmm... Lets see.

The company comes out with a cheesy health product, maybe oxygenated water or magnetic beds. Lets just take it that the profit earned from selling the bed is $1000.

The company urges u to join as the $1000 profit will not be split to advertisers, or middlemen, but to YOU. Sounds pretty good. Say outta the $1000 u sell, the company keeps 40% of it. It needs to buy new products and pay rent, it says. Fair enough.

$600 left. This amount of money would be shared among the A to B as stated in the picture.

Most MLMs have 5 layers, like in the picture. Lets call the bottommost layer A (thats the lousiest) to E (the guy who earns the most).

The system works this way. First, when u are just recruited, u are in A. When you help to sell a product by introducing maybe ur auntie to buy a magnetic bed, you earn eg 10 sales points. Your 10 sales points will help u go to level B.

From level B to C, maybe u need 30 sales points. But now, when u are at B, things are getting better! U can actually RECRUIT ppl, and ask them to help u sell! The ppl u recruit will be level A. Say u recruit THREE ppl, and they all manage to sell a bed. Thats 30 sales points ain't it? You can now officially move to C. Sounds easy!

Ppl want to move from A to E coz the commission would be more as u move up, amongst other reasons which u would understand when u read on.

Alright. What happens if u manage to recruit THREE people, but only TWO manage to sell beds? You get 20 sales points. Thats not enough to push u to C. But how about the two level A people whom u recruited and managed to sell 1 bed each? They move up to level B. Thats the same level as you!

If the two fellows u recruited now sell 14 beds each?? Aint that terrific news for you? Nope. Coz they are level B now. They are of the same level as you. So whatever they earn is theirs, since they are no longer under u.

You know only have 1 recruit left, and he does not seem to be able to sell anything. U realise that the system is flawed. You might choose to leave now, or sell 1 more bed urself, and go to level C. But ur 1st two recruits sold 14 beds already, so they are all the way up, no longer under you. U will choose to have more recruits again.

From C to D, u need 100 sales points. So most ppl are stuck somewhere here. Everybody is at level B.

Why is that good for the company?

U see, when someone sells a bed at level B and he is under no one, he earns a commission of say 11% of the profit. The 89% goes to the company. Thats $890 out the $1000 profit for a bed, instead of what the company promises at $400. MLM company owners are filthy rich, coz they got a lot of silly ppl working under them, helping them to sell.

When the level E ppl urge u to join, they always say that the company is very new, so theres plenty of chances for u to go to level E. They dun realise they are slapping themselves. Say a level E guy recruited a guy. He is very capable. He recruited alot of able ppl to work under him, maybe 50 ppl. They all are earning money (which is highly impossible but just a hypothesis), thus effectively pushing him to level D. As the level E guy who recruited this able man, u are very happy coz whatever he earns goes to u as well. Whatever whoever under him sells as well, goes to u. Every bed he sells, u get 14% of the profits.

AHA! The able guy now goes to level E! U lost the link coz he is the same level as you! Now whatever he or his recruits earn, does not belong to u at all. U can jolly well slap urself coz it was u who urged the able guy to sell more at first.

My point is, set up an MLM company. It is a cool invention to suck ppl of their money.

However to set up an MLM company all ur friends will leave u coz they are scared u sell things to them. They will come back when u are rich, of course. But to set up a reputable MLM, u need to have capital first. U dun have money, remember?

5) Marry a rich husband/wife.

Now u know why I work towards that goal. It seems like the easiest way to get rich. See ah, u marry a rich guy/gal, then u try to convince him/her to give u the money to set up an MLM company. And then u get filthy rich urself. If u dun love the guy/gal, u can leave him/her now. He/she is used to ppl making use of his/her money anyway.

After u get filthy rich from the MLM company, u can use ur wealth to buy another Ikea franchise! Ain't it cool that u can get staff discount to buy the furniture to decorate your Ikea outlet! Since the queenstown one is always jammed with ppl, I would suggest opening one at the east. Surely alot of ppl would come. Be sure to make the restaurant bigger though, we all love the meatballs.

Ah, in fact, if a whole Ikea is too expensive, just open a few Ikea restaurants would do too.

Please take note that even if u are the proud owner of an Ikea franchise, it does NOT give u the rights to go around asking ppl "Dong xi zai na li?"

The difficult thing here is, why would the rich guy (from now on it shall be guy coz I lazy to type for the female too) want to marry you?

Which explains why I am so vain.

Digessing a little, I would like to say that the world is very unfair. Eg u are a very rich guy. Would u marry a mediocre (is this how to spell?) gal? No way. There are plenty of gals who will like you. This is not beacuse of the money. It is because of the security you can give to the future family.

Out of the pool of gals, who would u choose to marry? Surely the prettiest and the smartest. Some argue that the 2 cannot exist together.

*points at self.*
*points at Xiao Feng*

There are plenty of smart gals who are pretty as well. And thats sickening.

So the rich guy marries the smart and pretty gal. Together, they form rich, smart and good looking kids.

So if u are a rich, smart and good looking kid, who would u marry?

The vicious cycle goes on. The rich, smart and good looking boys go to ACS, the rich, smart and good looking gals goes to MGS. They cross the love bridge and get together. Oh wait the love bridge is for St Joseph issit? Or what school? Nvm. Some blog readers are a tad too old to understand, heehee.

The smart and good looking boys and gals go to RVHS. They dun get married coz they are friends or classmates for too long.

Anyway my point is that the rich will keep all the good genes in the future. It is not fair! But I want to marry the rich too. Who doesnt? I want to wad in the good gene pool.

In conclusion, the whole chunk of words above suggests that the world will slowly get split up into 2. The rich, and the poor. The rich will remain richer coz they keep marrying the smart and good looking, and the poor will continue being poor unless they somehow turn out good looking. And smart.

I suggest communism before it is too late.