Saturday, July 5, 2003

A few days ago when I was actively searching the web for a good deal for my 8910, I came up with some encounters.

I tried to look for a good deal at #nokia in irc, in which I met alot of stupid Ah bengs trying to sell me their hps/hp casings/etc electronic gadgets.

There are many times in life that we meet annoying people of course. Sometimes u just get so infuriated by them. Not to worry, DR Wendy here will teach u how to get outta the situation with a snap.

To counter the dumb who dun think they are dumb, and are at the same time crude, uncivilised and unreasonable: Simple. Irritate the shit out of them by being irrelevant.

[AhBeNG_86]Wat pHoNe YoU LoOk|ng 4?

[Xia`xue] I already stated in the main that I want an 8910.

[AhBeNG_86]T68i U 1, i buy u cheap cheap.

[Xia`xue] You mean sell.

[AhBeNG_86] Kan ni na, haha.. Nvm lorx. ThEn u wan mi fone not?

[Xia`xue] Nah, I have in mind something more classy, thanks anyway.

[AhBeNG_86] CHeeBye! dun wan say dun wan, dun insult my phone. T68i too lousy for u izzit? It is a good hp, got colour somemore okie nabeh!

[Xia`xue] Aiyoh why are u insulting the hp lidat? Say it is lousy and everything. Dun insult urself mah, say until like u got such bad taste to choose the phone. It is actually quite a nice phone lar, u say until like it is worthless.

[AhBeNG_86] lan jiao! You are the one who say it is a lousy fone!

[Xia`xue] Huh but it is quite a good fone what! What u mean it is lousy? The functions not good meh?

[AhBeNG_86] fuck lar, since it is a good fone u buy lorx. i buy u at $250.

[Xia`xue] Nah, I have in mind something more classy, thanks anyway.

[AhBeNG_86] KAN NI NA BU **** C*** B**!!!! YOU FUCKING BITCH!

-Please note that u shld ALWAYS end IRC arguments with this final sentence.

[Xia`xue] Oh shut it. I have just put you on Ignore so whatever u say, I cannot see at all. U can choose to continue shouting like a lunatic.

[AhBeNG_86] Dun bluff, I bet u can see this.

[Xia`xue] Laalaalaalallaalalala

-After a few minutes, when he is unaware-

[Xia`xue] Laalaalaalallaalalala! I still can't see you! Are u still ranting??

This method should work well for Ah bengs. In fact, it shld work well with everyone, but there are exceptions, which are the following two types of people: Horny bastards, and the Super Smart.

Because I tried to go to #nus to advertise for my 8910, which is not allowed in case u dunno about IRC rules, I had to change my nick to prevent embarrassment. I think some people in that channel know me and its totally unglam to be kicked out for advertising.

SO. I changed my nick to `8910, predictably. The nick could have several connotations to it.

1) I would like to purchase an 8910
2) I HAVE an 8910 (Aka I am relatively rich and purposely flaunting it).
3) I just like the 8910 with no intentions of actually buying it.

If u realised, ALL the options are good reasons for sex perverts to talk to me. With the 1st and 3rd reason I get dirty old men asking me whether I can do a blow for them for $200 an hour, and a few blows gets me the phone. (Blow for an hour?? Am I really that lousy, or are they just impotent??!) With the 2nd reason I get whores trying to sell me their bodies thinking I'm some rich fuck.

The only way to outirritate Horny Bastards are to outhorny them.

[7Inchdick] Hi, u want the 8910?

[Xia`xue] yes.

[7Inchdick] I buy for you, want?

-Change your nick to something that sounds melancholy-

[SoLonely] And what must I do for you?

[7Inchdick] I want to lick your pussy.... You wun feel lonely anymore. I will make you feel so wet, so good, so horny. I am masterbating to ur words now, in fact.

[SoLonely] =(

[7Inchdick] Why, darling? Come over to my place now, I got strawberry flavoured condom, sure you like it. I will go in, and out, and in, and out of you. I will make u cum.

[SoLonely] You sure?

[7Inchdick] Yes. Cum over. (pun intended, darling)

[SoLonely] How old are u?

[7Inchdick] 29, and you?

[SoLonely] I'm 56 you see. U wun want to lick my pussy. It is all crumpled after I gave birth to my 3 kids. I am lonely cause they are all still outside now. That Jolene ah, tml got school still go Thailand. And my husband left me after I gave birth to my youngest son 3 years ago. I need some love.

[7Inchdick] Eh, okie. I can dun mind ur age if u look still young and pretty.

[SoLonely] I can only give u my vital stats. 36, 32, 38. Oh man I wan you to lick my breasts. I wan u to lick my toes and my feet and my legs, although I haven shaved like for years. I want you to call me what my hubby used to call me, HoneyLips. It is refering to the other pair of lips of course. =( Now he calls HoneyLips, SaggyDroopyLips. I need love! And sex!

[7Inchdick] Eh, okie....

[SoLonely] Do send me a picture of you! I want a nude picture, so that I can look at it and stuff that hot lava lamp up my vagina!

[7Inchdick] Oh god u can stuff a lava lamp inside your vagina?

[SoLonely] You mean it is not normal???

-After viewing the pic-

[SoLonely] Your dick is so lovely. Can I put it up my arse??

[7InchDick] You are so disgusting!!!

[SoLonely] =( Sorry lar. I go over now k k? I send u my pic.

Have fun as the pervert runs away, totally freaked out. LOLz (to be continued)