Tuesday, August 12, 2003

After one fine day of dwelling on nothing but Jeremy, I think I am going mad.

True enough, I had found the guy who gave me enough chemistry to make me think he is THE ONE (Pun about Jay Chou's concert not intended).

Whats the catch?

That he doesnt like me of course.

And with good reasons too.
(I'm really sorry you people have to listen to this mush.)

1) I am so goddam bloody short. Despite my plenty of self-assurance (more like deceive) that height is not important at all, it IS. I can blame society for its narrowminded weird qualms, but I can't change facts.

Personally, I would like to marry a tall guy so that the tall genes will spread to my kids and my kids would not be laughed at in school like me.

Very unfortunately, tall guys would like to marry tall girls so that not only will they look impressive and scary, their kids could grow up to be supermodels who are sluts who fuck around to get the said job. But thats not the point.

Jeremy is tall.

Or perhaps everyone looks tall during my work hours.

This is because I am FORCED TO WEAR SPORT SHOES. Mitsubishi wants to portray a "sporty" kinda image for its phone. Pui! I hate the sporty image. I know alot of people would disagree, but I still will say this. SPORTY SUCKS.

Sports apparels are made for sports. I cannot imagine why anyone would want to wear a pair of shoes $100 plus, which is so expensive because it is made for running, to go shopping.

I say keep the sport apparel in the courts/stadiums and wear normal clothes please.

Women wear heels because it will make their butts look perky and legs longer and more toned. People wear sport shoes just because it is trendy, and not because of the reason it is made for. (if you cite comfort as a reason, I would like to say that ballet shoes are comfortable as well (cheaper too), why arent you donning them on?)

Haiz... I guess it is the kinda image Nike has made. Healthy is beautiful. I suppose if you look sickly and pale the best you can do to deceive people that u are actually full of life is to put on a pair of sport shoes. Instantly, you will look like the average JC girl glowing from their work out.

I had like so many guys telling me they love JC girls. Surprisingly, it has nothing to do with intelligence at all. They just think the sporty image is attractive.

"See that girl over there?", they would say when the typical bunch chats on the MRT. "She looks so sporty... So innocent...I like sporty girls. I would like her as my girlfriend man..."

I took a look at the said girl, and replied, "She looks smelly and sweaty."

The guys said indignantly, "THEY GOT BATHE ONE LAR, YOU THINK WHAT?"

"How you know?"

"Got one la..."

"She looks like she just finish playing netball and came to the MRT to spread the germs from her sweat to everyone."

They couldnt be bothered to talk to me. Forgive me, will you, JC girls? I guess I dun see the attractiveness because I am a girl. But I suppose if I am in JC I would adopt that image too. If thats what the typical JC person thinks is sexy, so be it. *shrugs*

So. I digressed. My point is, Mitsubishi made me wear sport shoes so Jeremy is one of the rare few who saw me wear flat shoes (anything less than 5 cm is flat).

In fact, the previous time I wore flat shoes was 3 years ago in secondary school. Beside the occasional exam period when I would be spotted in slippers, my soles would be at least 7 cm from the ground.

Usually when I date guys, I would (naturally) be in heels. They, being guys (guys dun look at details), would be convinced that I am not short, but just petite.

Only when I step into their homes would they discover the truth. Of course, by the time I visit their houses, it would be too damn late to dump me. Bwahahhahahah! Aint I a genius.

But no. Jeremy knows the truth. And it is all MITSUBISHI'S BLOODY FAULT! Why can't they portray, say, a classy image for their phones?

The good thing is, Jeremy may be one of those who likes the stupid "sporty" image, so perhaps he likes my dressing?

2) What if he likes shu nus?????!

3) What if I am not attractive enough for him? I think I am not. Afterall he is so cute, girls must be queuing up. When my turn reaches in the queue, Jeremy would look straight ahead thinking why the next girl left such a big gap.

The next girl would pout, and point downwards, at the midget which is me. Jeremy and her would have a good laugh while I sob away, and they would marry and live happily ever after. 60 years down the road, they would still be cracking "short" jokes. ("Still remember that dwarf who you didnt manage to see in the queue coz u looked eye level?" "Yeah man! Bwahahhaha!")

4) What if he likes the stupid type of girls as girlfriends?

Today, I watched Holland Village again. I got so pissed by Mo Jing jing and the big fuss guys are making over her.

There was this part, where this auntie selling chicken rice wanted her badly as a daughter-in-law. She told MJJ to marry her son, and MJJ said, "Don't want! I very stupid and very blur one! I will give you alot of trouble! You ask my sis lor I always make she angry!"

The auntie said, "Like that then good! Smart people are very cunning (ask your son to marry a stupid woman so that she would listen to you, see who is cunning?)! They will complain that selling chicken rice is degrading, that car too small, that the mother-in-law is difficult to get along with!"

In other words, she just said, "I like you coz you are stupid.

Selling chicken rice may not be a glamourous job, but because you are goddamn idiotic, I think you cannot find a better-paying job anyway, so you would stupidly help me sell my chicken rice for free. I am so selfish that I dun care if you work another job you may get more money for the family. I just want to get free labour from you.

Smart people might not complain that cars are small. I am so selfish I dun realise that smart people may happen to be easily satistfied too. But never mind, stupid people will not complain about anything coz it takes them so much effort to string up a sentence, so just be stupid yeah?

I am difficult to get along with. Thats me. I have not wondered why smart people find me difficult to get along with, nor made an effort to change it. Never mind that! Just stupidly serve me like a maid! Like a dog! I like!

And lastly, if you are smart I find you a threat. I will not be able to get along with you coz I think I am just an uneducated chicken rice auntie. Uni grads? No thanks! I cannot communicate with them. I wouldnt give them any chances to try, coz I know it wouldnt work out."

MJJ actually smiled at the praise. Naturally. Stupid people dun get hidden messages.


My family looked at me... Cheery self in me had suddenly disappeared to be replaced with a very irritated look. They know better than to say anything at all.

I really wonder what what the stupid gf will think when this happens:

"Dear dear, why you like me?"


"Yes please. Please wait for a while while I help you wipe your shoes, there is a speck of dust."

"heehee.. Thats what I like about you. You are stupid."


"You said I should tell you the truth."

"No no... I mean, can you dun speak more than 3 words per min? I didnt get what u said!"

"You..... are.... stupid... thats....why....I... like... you..."

"I dun understand."


I certainly hope Jeremy doesnt like the stupid kind. In other words, I hope he is not a bloody MCP.


I realised the possibilties are quite endless. Perhaps he doesnt like girls with moles under their left eyes. Perhaps he personally hates girls from SP, all of them. Perhaps he thinks I have bad breath.

I shall write down a list (if it manages to form a list) of stuff that shows he displays a liking to me.

1) He did say that he is happy that I am working with him. But then again he said he liked the Singtel people too.

2) He kept talking to me. But he may be bored.

3) He asked me to send to him the photo we took. May be polite.

4) He did not reject the movie idea, despite having to work the next day. May be polite.

5) He talked alot about himself including personal stuff. But he may be trying to make conversation.

6) He laughs at my jokes. But guys do not like humourous girls as gfs. They like humourous girls are just platonic friends.

7) I personally feel we get along quite well. But then again he is really easy to get along with.

8) He sent me to the bus stop after the show. Does it show anything at all? Perhaps he was just being polite. But I shall convince myself that he wants to spend maximum time with me without paying $30 bucks for it (taxi fare if he sent me home).

9) We took a pic with his phone and when I deleted it because I looked ugly, he "Oei, why you delete?". I suppose that means he wants to keep the picture.

Thats it. There are alot of buts too.

1) He did not enquire much about me. I asked for his number, I asked him for the movie, I asked him to have lunch with me, I asked him whats his name first. He doesnt not even know whether I am attached or not!

2) He did not initiate any messages or calls till now.

3) His friend came to visit him during work and the said friend overheard our movie plans. Jeremy suggested watching the movie with them. Half of me is convinced that he doesnt want to make the movie a date kinda thing by having just two of us. The other half shouts that he is being polite to the friend coz the friend came to find him afterall, it would be rude to bo chup him.

In the end the friend said he couldnt make it.

4) His smses are quite short and not very promising. Very very normal. But he bothers to reply.

5) We actually wanted to watch LXG but it was not out yet. And also, because I forgot to bring money out that day, he paid for the tickets first. So I told him I would give him a treat when LXG is out. Yet, in an sms, he said, "See you next sat."

I suppose that means that he doesnt want to meet up with me again that week? Or am I over suspicious?

I think I am ridiculous. Unless he, like me, suddenly had spasms of love, it is unlikely that love-at-first-sight happened for him too. Perhaps he is slightly interested, but it will be miraculous if he displays so much interest in me in 2 days.

Time is what I need to give the fellow. Yet, I already miss him so much, I feel like mms-ing him a big thumping heart gif file to tell him I like him and ask him if he would just, like he said, tell me straight that he doesnt like me and spare me the agony of guessing.

Well. Since the good list surpasses the bad list by 4 points, I guess things are still going ok.

But do you guys think? Especially guys, tell me whether you like the girl if you behaved exactly like that?

Leave comments k?

-Jeremidium is a disease here to stay-