Tuesday, April 13, 2004

Singtel blog competition, dated 10 March 2004

Recently a lot of things have been pissing me off. I need to complain. So here goes.

I hate the rain. It has been raining for the past 11 years or so. Non-stop. My jeans are soaked, my clothes are soaked, and I have to get onto the bus which subsequently freezed the little water droplets on me to become ice. When I get frozen (and a little blue even) and I can't move, the bus driver goes "eh, eh, never pay money ah?!" and I feel like slapping him, except I can't, because I am all brittle and frozen remember? Can't he see that I am frozen?! DUH??!

Just coz he is dry and cozy in his bus doesn't mean that I am too ok?! DUH?!

When I manage to get my hardened limbs onto a seat, I start to think I am very lucky because afterall I am not in Pakistan having female circumcision. BUT I AM WRONG! BOY AM I WRONG!

I am haunted by stupid animations on TV Mobile!!!

Apparently the amateur animations done by the NYP students are being boardcast OVER AND OVER AGAIN. And again. And again. Its okie if it looks like it is done by baboons. Afterall they are just students (as if thats even a valid excuse).

But WHY? Why must they use stupid themes for their animations??!

For example, I saw this one which has this little girl sitting on a swing. She carries a brown teddy bear, and looks all rainbows and cotton candy. I expected pink bunny slippers but I suppose thats difficult to animate. I mean, should the ears flow with the swing, or against? Tough.

So anyway, this little girl's swinging happily, and suddenly, a giant hand whips out of nowhere. The music is so sucky that I fell asleep at this point of time, so I shall just bullshit that I saw what happens next.

The giant hand turned from a giant hand to a gay blue amoeba and called itself Qoo. It has a little phallic blue thing on its head as well, wonder what it is used for. Qoo started to push the little girl on the swing.. The little girl giggled happily.

Qoo smiled. Qoo smiled MORE. He started to get violent and push the girl so hard that her back broke. Qoo laughed wickedly and suddenly (from this point I woke up so the following is true) the little girl is missing and (make a wild guess!) the swing was left swinging alone with the fluffy teddy bear, looking rather forlorn.

I was thinking what this crap could be about... Could it be.. Selling swings which makes irritating kids disappear? That would be good.. Or teddy bears who eat up children and hallucinate that giant hands did it?

Well, the text came up at this point of time:


DUH. Seriously. Whats the point?!!!

When the students came up with such a dumb theme, did they think:
"Oh.. I think I shall ask people to stop child sexual abuse. Perverts who molest their kids would go on the bus, see my animation, and decide that it is wrong to molest children, because oh look..! they will lose their childhood innocence and not play with swings anymore!"

Duh. If child rapists would stop raping, it is definitely not because they saw a sucky animation. These people are CRAZY (referring to the rapists). If logic and reason could get into them, surely they would not have started child sexual abuse.

If the producers were thinking that through the animation maybe a little sympathy could seep into the rapists' hearts, then surely the child's screams and blood would have done that long ago.

Alright then here is my lame attempt to stop child sexual abuse too:

To all the rapists and molesters out there, do you know you are traumatizing the kids and making them scarred for the rest of their miserable lives so can you please stop it.

There. Done.

I saw another animation of car etiquette. While it is pretty entertaining, it is nothing original. I saw another version of it done by someone else before. Doh.

Oh I got to get back to work, dammit. Gotta write up an article on why Disney On Ice is the best family entertainment ever. Will blog more tonight...

One last time. I discovered another thing that pisses me off. When I tell people I work for TODAY, guess whats their reply?!

"I work for yesterday."

Yeah right, I get that f*cking answer fifty times a day, can't you come up with something even more cliched?! Eh? Eh?!