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Showing posts from May, 2004
It's 4.06am, and I need a boyfriend. =(
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I have a confession to make. I met this guy at a party last Saturday. He is smart, he is not-bad looking, and he is obsessed with me. I kinda like him too. The only problem is... He is 42 - and fucking rich (not that that is a problem). He has this yacht which costs $2.2 million, and his bungalow at Sixth Ave is four storeys high. In his Jag, I told him it is impossible this relationship works out. He is as old as my father! He pressed a wad of $100 bills into my hands, looked deep into my eyes, and said that he would do anything to be together with me. He wants me to be happy. I relented. I am so ashamed of myself. We had sex. And it was good. He said he would give me time to think. The next day, he presented me with a cyan box. THAT TRADEMARK CYAN BOX that every woman wants. Look what he bought me! It is just so beautiful.... JUST KIDDING! Did you, for a moment thought the bracelet was REAL??? Like, true blue Tiffany & Co??
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I have been getting a lot of emails like this: Xiaxue xiaxue! Your hair is nice, how did you do it? Teach me how to make it all curly wurly!! How do I do it indeed. Whenever I receive mails like this, I feel like asking the girls to go read the archives and quit bothering me (I mentioned how I curl them before) but I realised that MY FUCKING PHOTOS ARE ALL DELETED BY BLOODY IMAGESTATION so I have to explain myself all over. Which is pissing because it is not text-explainable. So I always ignore these emails. Speaking of ignoring emails, that day I was about to click this mail away (being the big bad bitch I am) but the final sentence said something like this: "Xiaxue ____(insert praise) and Posh can go to hell!" Now that's one SMART blogder reader. I replied immediately to that mail with renewed relish. Here's one email I received: hello. i emailed you once before regarding uh, hair curls. i finally figured out how to use a hair curler, but my ha
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I told you my photoshop is good, I didn't say how good. Let's look at one of the most awful photos I ever took. Photographer: EK Wong (The initals to sound cool) Location: Ghim Hui's house Camera: Kodak non-professional 2.0 megapixel Lighting: Sunshine + flash Make-up/hair: Wendy C. Clothes: Models' own. Erm, Models: Feng (it's Xiao Feng but an asian sounding model name sounds modelish), Wendy C. (it's Wendy Cheng but C. sounds like I am Eurasian - Wendy Charlize or something) Here is how Feng and Wendy C looks like: Very normal-looking girls. Now, before you say,"OK WHAT..", let me tell you that Wendy C.'s face has already been photoshopped, although to a minimum. That is because she has an amazingly big nose and a big pimple under that amazingly big nose at the point of time the photo was taken. In fact, she airbrushed half of that pimple away so you can still see a little bit of it. The pictur
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Are you lucky cretins or what??! Double post today! Read till you shiok shiok sia! Here are some photos. *smiles* ***** Went to my school's post internship seminar. Having strategically placed our internship at the end of our graduating term, our school hopes to see the students being employed after the attachment. (Quit asking, TODAY is not hiring. Either that or I smell a 'degree' problem.) Anyways, it also means that the seminar will be the absolute last time I see my lecturers and schoolmates all in a lecture hall with me. Three years of the same faces. I know by heart almost everyone's back view (I sit near the top row), and I feel a sharp pain knowing that I will never see that sight again. My classmates. Without school as an inescapable reason, it is near impossible to get everyone to put in effort to meet up (huh don't want la, so far, etc) again. I miss River Valley. Now I have to miss SP too. And very soon afterwards, I will miss
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I was on the bus, on my way home. Feeling very drained. It's late and after a day's work. The night's gloomy and dank. Boarding 176, the two-tiered kinda bus, I sourced for a seat, but seemingly with no avail. 'What the fuck is wrong with these people,' I spoke in a whisper to myself. 'Is there a new disease that hits the ass of whoever moves to the inside of the seat?!' Indeed, everyone was happily sitting on the aisle seat. Did anyone care that a stupid tired intern doesn't want to go pass their knees to get a decent seat? No, of course not. I walked on. After all, it's a long journey till the end of the bus, and there must be hope� AHA! A SEAT! Can you believe it?! This scrawny uncle was sitting on the� inside!!! I moved in thankfully. Not wanting to disturb his serene demeanour (he had this I-am-going-to-achieve-nirvana-do-not-speak-one-word look), I sat with my knees facing out. Just as I was about to sink into the comf
Quote Of The Day Week Year Infinite period of time: Slam all you want. You will still be here tomorrow, reading my blog like it's the fucking bible. ~Diana Neo
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Pradhana Vizha and others Hello everybody! Oh this is shitty, I got absolutely nothing interesting to blog about! This is a very dangerous situation, because the last time this happened I decided to blog about how much I hate Michelle Saram, thus resulting in me having to do nauseating research on her. How very unsettling on the stomach. Meanwhile, just some normal mundune updates. Bear with the boring stuff first. If someone makes me angry (actually someone has, but she reads this blog and I am not one to shit where I eat), I would have more interesting posts. I think. Or maybe if I meet some new guy... **** I covered Pradhana Vizha 2004 (Indian Star Awards). That alone is the toughest article I have ever encountered! Sitting there like a dingbat for 2 and a half hours, I never wished I understood Tamil more in my life. More than I wanted to know how to speak Japanese so that I can sound like a porn star. More than I wanna know French so I can sound rich. I WAN
I saw a shooting star last night! =D Happy!! Going to Pradhana Vizha (Indian Star Awards) now. I feel pretty traumatized. 1) I don't know the language and although I'm going with an Indian colleague I feel uncertain that I can churn out a satisfactory article. *determined look* I'm sure I can do it if I try. 2) I'm pretty sure a certain virginal Indian with rebonded hair and an ugly tattoo will be there, considering the size of the Indian entertainment community in Singapore. Thankfully, it's this year's Miss Vasantham Shobana (and not the third runner up mua ha ha ha ha) who will be hosting. Can you imagine if she is hosting, she will say something like this? "OMG! is the hole in the ozone jaz above my head??!!! wtf! its so friggin hot, till i almost melted! im sweatin like a pig, hmmm actually do pigs sweat? dunno neva lived wif them.. hohoho anywayz yeah like j lo has a sweat perfume i wonder how my bottled liquid from my pores will s
My RSI interviews some time ago: Wanna hear them? I was on MediaCorp Radio Capital 95.8FM! Here: http://www.rsi.com.sg/chinese/youth/view/20040316173600/1/gb/.html http://www.rsi.com.sg/chinese/youth/view/20040323135400/1/gb/.html It's broadcast on two different days thus the two links. It's in Chinese though. If your browser can't view Chinese, simply click on the headphones icon. =D The interview is conducted in chinese as well. I told you I am effectively bilingual. BTW: Someone told me he is surprised my voice is not the sweet high-pitched kind. What?! Do I look like a shu nu to you?!
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I�ve been having nightmares recently. My fellow intern-colleagues, Diana, Miki and Elise, whose company I really enjoy, would be leaving MediaCorp Press tomorrow officially. I asked my editor, and he said I could stay on for one more month. As much as I am very grateful about this, I am feeling a little paranoid about lunch partners (thus the nightmares about me pitifully eating alone in a dank corner). I�ll be pretty much alone in the company after this. There�ll be no Diana for me to bitch to, and no Miki for me to visit the pantry with. =( After this, I would be facing the company with the full-time staff and my goodness � other interns from other schools. They would be together, and I don�t think it�s nice if I impose myself on them. As for my colleagues� Nobody ever asks me to lunch, so I shouldn�t be thick-skinned! It�s not that bad. Benjamin, who works nearby, is a possible lunch partner. Except that he is sometimes not free, and maybe does not want to be s
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This is a test! OMG YOU WOULDN'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT BLOGGER HAS GIVEN US FREE UNLIMITED PHOTO HOSTING I TOLD YOU BLOGGER IS THE BEST THE PEOPLE WHO ASKED ME TO USE LIVEJOURNAL AND XANGA ARE ALL DELUDED. It's mad. Its so easy to use. It's mad, mad, mad. I am almost delirious with happiness
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I promise a blog entry tomorrow. With loads of pictures. Really need sleep now. Anyway, do you think people like Gisele Bundchen gets piles? I can't resist. I wanna blogggggg....... get my fingers away from the keyboard... oh no no no they are typing like crazy now. I can't stop them!!!!~!~!! Stop, fingers! I need to rest. Oh shit they can't stop now!!!! type type type type tkasdjnads nfa hdancsadnhdlxa sajhdds *slaps self* Are you a virgin? Are you depressed and ugly? Do you feel like life's not worth living anymore? Do you wanna make it worse, although it possibly CANNOT go any worse since you can't get laid? Here's someone who would mock you. He will poke fun at you, although its not your fault you are a virgin! Of COURSE its not your fault. What's so good about having sex ANYWAY. The Durex Global Sex Survey 2004(Singaporeans read it as Dulex Global Sax Sulvey)is back!!! Go take part in it! When they ask, "How many times do you
It's a tad too late to blog. Shall give you something else to read/ Two nice sites for you to go to: Mark Ryden. Recommended by Diana (my fellow intern), this is some artist who paints damn good. Check out the "blood" catergory by clicking on "Paintings", then "blood". It's so morbid that I felt like life's totally not worth living after looking at all his works. It really has that effect. Morbid, morbid. So pretty, but so morbid. How does he do it? Smokers are all stupid. I'm sorry my smoking friends, but I agree with him. Sometimes, on a hot day, I feel like throwing all the smokers into Antartica so that they would not so inconsiderately make Singapore even hotter and dustier. Urgh. Why smoke? Don't email me, I'm sure it's bullshit. I'm not interested to listen, coz you are just succumbing to social pressure. Did you not live well before you started smoking? Then why start? And burn your health,
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You won't believe it. I'm going to the press conference of one of the top 15 shaggable men in my top 15 shaggable men list. It's not Beckham. It's not Legolas. It's not Peter Pan. It's Fei Yu-Ching. I can't contain my pheromones, they are going wild. (Yes I know a scent can't really go wild but who cares?) Can't wait. BLEAH. (BTW, I do not REALLY think he is shaggable. It's a joke, get it?)
Yes people, don't worry. I am fine, I am fine. *grouchs* PMS la. On a side note, I hate it when people post up those stupid trashy forwarded mails on their blogs, ie of Words of an abortioned baby (Utter fucking trash) or When God created woman he breathed life in her... (STFU) I feel extremely disgusted with those long usually mushy passages and I take a fine load of pleasure sniggering to myself while I click DELETE (yaaay!) before I even finish reading it (to the part where they say you must forward it or ur love life will suck FOREVER). Now that those words are on the blogs, I CAN'T DELETE IT! I can click away the page, but it doesn't feel as good!!! Urrrgh. ***** On another side note, I was talking to Eileen. Me: Hey, the only words which has B and J in them are blowjob and brinjal, right? Got others not? Eileen: Benjamin! Me: Oh yeah ah!!! Eileen: Bo jio! Ha ha ha (Continues to churn out more irrelevant Hokkien words while laughing hysteri
I was supposed to go to a massage cum spa thing with Eileen today. It's ridiculously cheap coz it's on some offer - $30 for a 30 minutes massage and 20 mins spa (and you can use their sauna and bathrooms as well, complete with fluffy white towels). Not bad huh? Too bad it's fully-booked. Knn. So, I stayed at home the whole day. Which is not really so bad since I slept till 4pm. Yikes. I re-watched Shrek (in preparation for Shrek 2) and re-watched My Best Friend's Wedding. I realised that My Best Friend's Wedding has possibly the BEST script in the entire world (Troy's not bad as well, may I add. Priam's speech had me in tears). The movie has so many fabulous quotes that I don't know where to start from. For those who have watched the movie, there's one memorable one where Julia Roberts (Julianne) was talking to Dermot Mulroney (Michael) on a boat and he said that if you love someone, you say it. Or, the moment just... passes you by
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I was bored. I updated mydreamd8. In any case, if you are too lazy to click there, here's what I wrote. AND did you ever think I was totally bullshitting when I said that my photoshop is FUCKING GOOD? I mean it. I'm a total goddess. Still sceptical? Don't be. Scroll down. ***** Out of the kindness of my heart, I decided to help Singtel save some face by enhancing the photos of our dear deserving winners. For christ's sake, Posh. Stop using your bloody webcam to take photos when you have a $1,000 camera. There you go, Posh and Ed. And then, tadah! Reduced a bit of yellow, and made the crown look a little less cheapskate. Some blogder told me that Singtel put the crown on them. I ALMOST LAUGHED MY LIVER ROTTEN. How can Singtel do such shoddy work! Why, M1 not enough market share ah??! Anyways, I tried to reduce the downturned faggoty smile, but failed. Did some botox as well. I couldn't resist. NOW FOR POSH You will not