Thursday, May 6, 2004

Alright alright. Finally, my birthday blog. It is indeed saddening that the blog would be nothing really interesting.

Warning here though: FUCKING LONG BLOG. This time, it�s filled with a super load of pictures.

I spent the major part of my birthday interviewing Kit Chan in the East Meets West Press Conference, and after that, doing up a Heineken Starbar article. How very disgusting. Thankfully enough for me, I�m perhaps a slow writer by my editor�s standards, so he booted me out from my chair (very unceremoniously) and commenced with my article halfway in a lightning speed. * grin * Ha ha. I was pretty happy to have it credited to my name (and have it majorly written by my editor), and then I later realized that there is no byline.


Anyway, here are the presents that I�ve got!

Miki and Diana

These two great girls are my coursemates whom I didn�t really get to know in SP. Now, they are my colleagues in MediaCorp Press!!! And they are great girls!!! Thanks for making life working so interesting u two!

Alrighty, they bought me this super nice strawberry cake, and being the glutton I am, I didn�t realize I should take a picture before the cake� well� went on its way to my tummy. Oh dammit.

Thanks anyway Neoneo and Mei Zhenzhen! (*private joke)

Scandalous Shuyin, who isn�t so scandalous nowadays as she is birdy (she working at the Bird Park, ha ha)

What could it be??!

Wow!!! Very nice, thank you!!

Ivan & Clara

Ok this dude and babe have award-winning moles and boobs respectively, and they bought me an irrelevant present.

No doubt bought by Clara.

On first glance, it seems a lubricant of some sort for gay boys to go straight again (watch all the porn surfers come in).

But hell no! It�s for straightening hair!!

I do not want straight hair!!

Nonetheless, I tried to use the thing on my curls, and holy shit it works! My goodness the irony. Actually I was thinking� If it doesn�t work, I would apply it on my pubes just to prove that it CANNOT straighten all sorts of hair. KIDDING. KIDDING KIDDING. Get it? I�m kidding.

WTF? From Eric Goh??!

Ok this is the guy who sent me hate mail if you bother to read a few days ago. Very smartly, or maybe not, he managed to find a way to get a birthday present to me � via my office.

Well done, Eric.

I must say. I get lots of fan mail, I don�t notice them much, especially if it�s from guys trying to hit on me. But hate mail! Ah! That got my attention!

A refreshing way to go about it I guess. (But hey guys, it didn�t work out so don�t send me hate mail, bleah.) Anyway, thanks so much for the flowers Eric, I love them. Except I don�t like yellow stuff. Pink, remember?! Pink!

From Sun??!

Alright another blogder who sent me a present via my office. He has been sending me very irritating smses.

I hate you, Sun! Urrrgh!


The generous host of pictures on this site composed a birthday song for me!! My gosh I so have a weak spot for guys playing the piano!! Click here to listen to it. I am so mesmerized!


Eileen and I at the Esplanade!

I cannot stand it!! My photoshop skills are damn good!!! Am I fabulous or what!

Just to show you how good they are, I shall put more photos. Kidding. I am just an attention-seeking whore.

Actually I�m really good.
I�ve just got better, because I discovered this little function in Photoshop called �curves�. It�s as alluring as it sounds. Together with �variations�, look what it can do:

How cool is that?!

One more:

Ok one more:

Alright last one:

Last two pictures aren't that clear coz they were taken in dark conditions.


Mydreamd8 is actually a fabulous contest.

It has brought me many friends and I had a great time and a great experience.

OH WHO AM I KIDDING. I got to know a few disgusting people from there. Yucks. But that�s not the point! The point is, mydreamd8 is a fabulous contest!

Now, the contestants have all been given a few FREE things.

1) A new nokia phone with camera functions.
2) A sim card (my god, this is gold). I know what u are thinking. Use it to vote right. The Singtel people thought of it too, so its barred from 221200, and 1900 calls, (not so)smartass.
3) 3 months FREE broadband subscription
4) Free dreamd8 tee which sucks
5) A WEBCAM!!!

My point is about the webcam. Very stupidly, I did not even try to install it till yesterday, when I realized how fun webcams can be.

Look, here are some UNEDITED pictures!!!

My goodness I think the webcam secretly reads my blog and loves me. If not, why do I look so bloody good there?! Much better than in real life actually. Oh yeah I forgot to mention this point. From now on, I shall ASSUME THAT EVERYONE READS MY BLOG AND LOVES IT.

See that dog staring at me over that? Must be a blogder. =D Hey that car didn�t knock me down! He is waiting for me to go home and blog.

I digress. Back to the point of webcams.

I was just thinking I don�t mind putting up a webcam function in my blog. I see your eyes giving the �SLUT, I KNEW IT!� look. No la, nothing sexual. Just a cam for u guys to see me while I blog!!! WAHAHHAHAA. As if it is anything interesting.

I have NO idea how to do this though. And I refuse to approach webcam-whores to ask them for help.

What do u guys think of this idea? Would u like a webcam on my blog? I would need hosting though! Anyone which ample technical knowledge and bandwidth can email me, thanks!!




Now, this stupid site has been attracting a lot of porn surfers in. I refuse! It�s only �almost� porn, why are they buzzing in like bees!! I don�t want bian tais reading my blog!! Wanking to my edited pictures (Yes, congrats Meng Seng (sounds like a wanker�s name), this girl u are looking at does not exist.)

When people find your page because they have black menstrual blood, you know something is seriously wrong.

Thus, I need to change my blog�s title.

Now, a blog�s title is very important. It will be the blog�s make, or fall.

I don�t wanna go back to the cheesy �the world thru my eyes�, because it sounds cheesy. Seriously, nothing can sound cheesier. I don�t know how I came up with that title.

How about A Shu Nu's blog? It would be cool to see stupid men come in and then go like, �Wei she mo zhe yang!! Where is my shu nu!! This is a bitch!! Oh no anything but bitchs!�

Yes I think I shall change it to that. Besides, the stupid picture of my in the pink blouse looks pretty shu nu, doesn�t it? Don�t sneer. I am actually a shu nu at heart. I love cooking and cleaning up my room. JUST KIDDING.

Or maybe I could call it� An Elite Model�s Private Diaries. Now, of course I am nowhere near being an Elite Model, but it would be fun to get people to say I am tall for a change. I would start every entry with �Dear Diary, today I went for casting again, I am so excited. Saw Rebecca and Denise.

JUST KIDDING actually I watched Van Helsing. (Which brings me to the next topic)

(Whatever la. I think, I shall just term it: THE ORIGINAL XIAXUE.BLOGSPOT.COM)


Van Helsing

The movie is possibly worth 3 and a half stars in 5.

The movie is hot because:

1) Hugh Jackman (is it spelt this way?!) is hot. May I repeat. He is FUCKING HOT. At the end of the show, he was holding on to a limp Kate beckington (I have no idea how to spell her name and I don�t care) very tightly with only a black cloth around this groin.

Now, not only do we get to see a full 5 minutes of him half-naked, we get to see him hug Kate in a very sexually appetizing manner. The position is reminiscent of a certain Kama sutra one � but lets not go into details. Oh, those arms�.

2) The female vampires are hot. Now, if you read yesterday�s TODAY, you would have seen a pic of the female vampire. They look hideous with no nipples, white boobs, and wrinkly skin.

BULLSHIT. They transform into nice ladies when they wanna talk to you. The costumes are great (lotsa boobs showing), and they look absolutely delicious. But their eggs�. Another matter altogether.

3) Count Dracula is damn funny.
The man speaks in a funny Italian like accent.

Hugh: If I want to kill your offspring I must first kill you.
Dracula: That�s CORRECT! (In the same tone u would find a host of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire say.)

And he is pretty cute to boot, amidst a bit old.

4) The Kate girl is not bad looking, but did not show any boobs, dammit. One wet scene, but corset does not give wet tee effect, ala Spiderman.

6) Kate�s brother in the show is fuck-cute, but I don�t know who he is.

However, I feel that several things should be changed in the show.

For example, Kate lost her brother, so she was the only one in her accursed family left surviving. Later on she died. Oops. Spoiler. Anyway, pretend u didn�t read that.

So, in order for Kate to keep her family line, I feel she should have fucked either Van Helsing or�. Frankenstein.

I know, I know. It�s difficult to have sex when vampires are trying to kill you everyday. Thus, it is time to consider who is the better fighter, Van, or Frank (rhyme not intended).

Considering Frank is slow-moving and quite stupid, Van is possibly a safe bet to fight the vampires.

The secret method would be to hide in a room and have sex with Frank while Van keeps a safe guard. Yes, Frankenstein may not look very good, but here are a few reasons why he is fuckable.

1) He has screws on him so he can officially say, �I so wanna screw you!� and takes out a screw to drill into your ear. You can then proclaim that he has a loose screw. He can then reply by asking u to shut up, or he would shove his nuts (and bolts) into your mouth.

2) Assuming that Frankenstein has everything made bigger, then he should be pretty well-endowed.

3) Sex will possibly cure Frankenstein�s inferiority complex and his constant irritating thoughts that humans are all out to kill him. If its good sex he had, he would be like, Whoop! I had sex! I am attractive humans love me!!! Therefore, I shall be nicer to Van!

4) Assuming that the kid inherited Dad�s muscle bulk and Mum�s nice skin and hair, he would be quite the jock in high school. Let�s not think of it the other way round.

Alright. I am talking crap.


One last thing. I just saw the Becks and Posh show, and I think that Beckham is an ABSOLUTE DUMBASS. He is so fucking slow, I almost aged 50 years watching the show. Yes he is cute, and he is a good goal-keeper (is he a goal keeper?), but u cannot deny he is fuck-stupid.

The dude does not know how to answer questions properly, and does not understand Victoria�s jokes although they are pretty funny.

I used to think Posh didn�t deserve Becks, but now I don�t understand why she can marry such a dumbass. Must be the golden pubes. Wait, you don�t marry people just because of golden pubes. Must be good sex then.

Whatever it is, David Beckham is officially outta my top 15 shaggable men list.

His position, shall be replaced by...............


Joking la.

I choose Hugh Jackman�s character Leopold in Kate & Leopold. Isn�t that so suave? My god, they don�t make men like that nowadays. =)