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Showing posts from June, 2004

I am so elated!!!

Mr Tay replied my mail!!! *only you loyal blogders know what I'm talking about* Got free tickets to watch Spiderman today, shall blog after that. Ta ta!! *skips in pleasure* *whoops in joy*

ALL MEN WATCH PORN

ALL. Absolutely all. Except blind men. And they enjoy it, therefore they watch it. If Shaolin monks had Kazaa, they would type in "The Hot Chick" to act as if they are downloading a decent movie, but actually they gei gei click on the "Blonde hot chick get fucked muliple times" movie when you turn your back away from the screen. Ok, maybe the shaolin monks would download Huang Fei Hong - The Movie, first. THEN "THE HOT CHICK". Digressing a little, let's talk about being fucked by a lot of people at one time. Now, how is that possible? I once watched this porn flick which is EXTREMELY funny. I must say, the director is very creative. There was this blonde girl with big tits lying naked on a table, just lying there like a dead fish? Suddenly, six burly men appeared out of nowhere. They started to strip. And then they started to brush their teeth. Kidding, they didn't brush their teeth. First guy takes her in her privates. Second guy

Orgasm

Click here ! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! -More blogging tonight-

Did I already say my job rules?

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Or rather, ex job. Since I have ended my marvellous internship. I'd blog about my experience there, but I'm too tired now, so I shall do it tmr. Remind me to blog about Wong the Lawyer's birthday trip as well. Look how happy the birthday girl is? oh sorry, that's June's birthday. So anyway, back to why my job rules. "Yaay!" If you are a girl, you possibly crave for ... Jerry Yan Vic Chou Fan Yi Chen Qiu Zhe And perhaps throwing in some other females singers would not be a bad thing too. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SO MANY CUTE STARS ARE ALL IN ONE CONCERT?? WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF THAT HAPPENING??! I'm covering the Gen Y concert , and I'm gonna see them all!!!!!!! I think I am choking in anticipation.

Xiaxue's undies

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In this atrocious blog post of mine, I shall show everyone my panties. I have decided to be more open-minded. What's with a bit of underwear? I've took a long time to make this decision. Please do not say I am a slut ... It wasn't easy being one ... TADAH!! Taken during my 2 year old birthday (you can see the cake) or something. LOL. I think my underwear had "I love Mom" on it, ha ha!! So cute ah? :) p/s: No, I didn't photoshop the photo.

"The difference between you and her, is that when I do something wrong, she thinks of the good I have done, and forgives me."

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For Alvin.

Pink Kinkiness

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There�s this new thing at Mos Burger that is possibly the next best thing since tampons. Frozen strawberries! Beautiful fingernails courtesy of Shuyin. Lookie what�s inside! So yummy! The strawberry, succulent and fresh, is half-coated with creamy white chocolate, and the interior of the strawberry is filled with condensed milk � smooth and wet! I like! Oh yeah the ugly nail belongs to me. And of course, the best thing is that IT IS FUCKING CHEAP!!!!!!!!!! Like, ridiculously cheap! It's selling at three for $1!!! Any cheaper, and it would be Annabelle Chong! What can you buy for $1? Take a smelly bus ride? Eat half a packet of chicken rice? Go to the Far East toilet five times? I say, 3 Mos strawberries are more worth your money. Shuyin takes a bite� BRAINFREEZE!! What a spectacular Kodak moment. ***** If anyone has noticed, Miss Selfridge is no longer available in Singapore! Which is good, considering I think Miss Selfridge sucks be

KTV session!

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(Loads of photos, please wait) I think I'll stay at home and blog the day away, there are so many things to write about! Friday: Went to KTV with Scandalous Shuyin (whose long-dicked boyfriend is in camp) and her secondary school friends Weili and Wanyi, and of course, Jealous June as well. Speaking of Scandalous Shuyin and Crappy Chua (said long-dicked boyfriend), Chua told me that out of 12 of his bunkmates, 3 know my blog. Which is an impressive 25%! How cool is that? Back to topic at hand, KTV. It's 4 hours of madness. Oh, I possibly should mention that Shuyin, Weili, and Wanyi are all proud choir members of Chung Cheng High (Main). Starting off, we have Weili: That is, an impressively big mouth, Weili. Ok now, guess one song. Hint: It has to do with their laid-back, arrogant demeanour. It has to do with MediaCorp. Or rather, TCS? SBC? Ha ha!! Does anyone still remember this stupid song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? I don't know

FOUR gmail accounts I shalt bestow

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I know it's a tad late, but I was sick, so yeah, here are the winners of the gmail accounts! And because none of my friends approached me for a Gmail account, I shall give all FOUR to the blog readers to wrote such lovely entries!!! I'd love to be able to give out more because I feel that many of you guys put in a lot of effort, but I can't. If I get more invites, I will, ok? But meanwhile, I've got to stick to my criteria stated: The ones that make me laugh, and the ones that touched me the most! Here goes: 1) Steph (Alot of Stephs so that's quite anonymous right?) I do not really know where to start, but firstly Xiaxue, do pardon my limited vocabulary and spelling mistakes if there were any. I cannot describe how much I love you, because I do not know you in person. However, I love you as a blogger, and I love your blog entries, making it a point to read your entries everyday, though I do know that you do not blog everyday, I will click to your blo

A Simple AND STUPID Life

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We're all waiting for Paris Hilton to topple the entire Hilton empire if that's possible (because too much fucking/drugs/cigs caused her brains to fry up), but meanwhile, we all want to look at her, don't we? Come on. That perfectly manicured head - golden body and shiny blonde hair ... Plus all the nice clothes, accessories, and ... dog. I can't have enough of Paris. So anyway, in half an hour (10pm), we'll see Paris-the-slut and Nicole-the-slut on Channel 5's A Simple Life!!! To give you interesting prelude, here's a pic of Nicole's B OO BS, and Paris', erm, pussy . God, why didn't she wear a panty? Isn't it very unhygenic? I hope she kanna PERIOD, then she can go and die if she can't find a tampon but only a pad. Ha ha ha ha! Courtesy of one great site, www.bookofjoe.com . Alright. It's porn. So you kids keep out please! I was surfing awfulplasticsurgery.com and one thing lead to another la. But it's too juicy not t

Darn busy

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I didn't share this link . It's not me. p/s: Going to a POWER press conference now, shall blog later. p/p/s: Thanks a lot for all the encouragements!! *muacks* It's a pity I went to the test very discouraged coz I only managed to see the first few comments before I left. But anyway, I think I did well. At least, it was a subject our paper has wrote about before, so yeah - don't need to think much, just regurgitate everything. Lucky huh? Bet the Masters students can't conjure a better article than me. The "story" composition wasn't done too well though. More, later, tonight. p/p/p/s: Did I hear a reader say he wants me to blog about Xu Chun Mei? (Left: Xu Chun Mei asks, "Blog about ugly me?") ... *DRUM ROLL* ... SHUYIN POSES AS XU CHUN MEI!!!! You've just got to stay tuned. Really. You HAVE to.

I NEED LUCK!!!

Ok ok I've got great news for myself. With the reminder of a blogder and also from the MediaCorp Intranet, I have realised that fellow blogger Miss Cheryl Tan is leaving her position as Writer, MediaCorp TV. I sent in my resume, and I am shortlisted for a 2.5 hour writing test tomorrow. I've cut my nails (long nails affects writing!), and read the dictionary 5 times, and I'm all ready. *gives a grim, but determined look* There will be proof-reading, in which I will fail. But, great news is, I have a sense of humour. And I am accustomed to writing for MediaCorp, and also for the web. I really really want to get this job, so please please wish me ALL THE BEST k? I need the luck - I realised that Cheryl Tan has MASTERS, so for them to downgrade to a Diploma student, I must be nothing less than brilliant. (Either that or they pay me far lesser than her lor ... ) And I suppose I would have to fight some other Masters applicants as well. But have they intern

Gmail invites out for grabs

Hello my faithful blogders!!! Got some goodies for you guys. I have with me FOUR gmail invites - of which I intend to keep 2 to give to any of my friends who might want it (Hey you people tell me quick). The other two, I have decided to bestow upon my loyal readers because you guys always make my day!! Because i expect people will be grabbing it, let's have a little contest to see who can make me more happy, shall we? Tell me why you read my blog and why I am, like, the best blogger ever! Ha ha! I.e: I read Xiaxue because she looks like a monkey but yet manages to type pretty long paragraphs. That amazes me. You could go on longer than that of course! =D Winning criteria could be these two: Either you make me touched, or you make me laugh. Be sure not to patronise! The two best entries will win a gmail invite each. A little background information: Gmail, still in its beta stage, is about to be launched officially as THE email. It will be hotter, big

I am Syphilis

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Hi everyone. Please do not laugh at me, I am a delicate stuff toy. My name is Syphilis. I said do not laugh anymore. I was bought from a toy store called Mini Toons at the very irritating second floor of Cineleisure. Digressing a little, I would like to comment that Cineleisure has the most irritating escalator system EVER because you have to walk one big round (around 2.4 km) to get the to upriding escalator to go to the third floor. And then you reach the escalator, you will even have to say a secret password which changes every five seconds to go up, so there�s no point. In fact, the 2.4km could be reduced a little if you can go through that caf� or cut through Pasta Mania � BUT NO! They want you to walk your life out! Pasta Mania people say they don�t want passers-by disturb their clients� pasta meals, but that�s absolute bullocks because even the customers are not allowed to pass through the holy gates. So anyway, I was the last of my type of stuff toys

Foie Gras and other delicacies

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Photolog!!! I've been really busy recently, so I apologize for the lack of blogs these few days. While I am writing up a more standard blog entry, here's a photolog for you guys!!! ***** One fine sunny day, a certain Miss Eileen Tan had a sudden urge for foie Gras. In fact, every other sunny day, she has carnal urges for foie gras - which for the less than French/knowledgeable/upper class, it actually a piece of fat goose liver. What good is a piece of fat goose liver, you ask curiously. What about it makes Miss Tan crave for it so much? Why couldn�t she make do with just a limpy piece of chicken liver instead? And why must the goose be fat? Does the world REALLY have something against fat people/gooses? Ahh � If you ever get urself an authentic piece of pan-fried goose liver (I had my virgin piece at 15. Before you think I slept with someone rich, I would like to say that I stole it when I was working at a fancy French restaurant) for perhaps � $20? y