Thursday, June 17, 2004

Foie Gras and other delicacies


I've been really busy recently, so I apologize for the lack of blogs these few days.

While I am writing up a more standard blog entry, here's a photolog for you guys!!!


One fine sunny day, a certain Miss Eileen Tan had a sudden urge for foie Gras.

In fact, every other sunny day, she has carnal urges for foie gras - which for the less than French/knowledgeable/upper class, it actually a piece of fat goose liver.

What good is a piece of fat goose liver, you ask curiously. What about it makes Miss Tan crave for it so much? Why couldn�t she make do with just a limpy piece of chicken liver instead?

And why must the goose be fat? Does the world REALLY have something against fat people/gooses?

Ahh � If you ever get urself an authentic piece of pan-fried goose liver (I had my virgin piece at 15. Before you think I slept with someone rich, I would like to say that I stole it when I was working at a fancy French restaurant) for perhaps � $20? you would understand.

Smooth, and nothing like cheap pork liver (which has this bloody, sandy, liver taste), pan fried foie gras (pronounced fu-ah gu-ah [with a French accent mind you], according the French chef at the said restaurant I worked as) melts in your mouth as you achieve five orgasms in a row.

BONUS!!! *ting ting ting!* If it�s cooked by cute chef, you get seven orgasms.

Alas! With the good comes the bad. Quality foie gras is made only when a most unfortunate goose is stuffed with lots of goose food to make it really fat so that it�s liver is really fat. I heard that foie gras gooses are being treated really cruelly � I think they get raped by ugly geese (at this point of time I realized that plural of goose is geese), and then have their feathers plucked and stuffed into their nostrils or something like that, but my memory is a little faded, so don�t trust me.

But anyway they are really poor things, the foie gras geese.


Who cares? Who ask them to be delicious. If they don�t want to be eaten, then stop being delicious, or learn to peck violently lor. (�If God doesn�t want animals to be eaten, then why did he make them out of meat?� � anonymous)

So anyway, here�s how a piece of goose liver looks like:

It looks pretty much like a normal piece of liver, except fat. In fact, I think my secondary school�s P.E teacher might have shoved the liver into the TAF club if it managed to get into RV with an amazing PSLE score like me (269!).

So anyway, may I bring your attention to that quiet piece of potato thingy behind the plate?

It�s really nice. And parsley sucks. It�s the worst food in the world.

Who�s the chef who galvanized the extra two orgasms?

May I present to you, celebrity chef Emmanuel Stroobant!!! All the way from Belgium!
(ME: �Can you sign my cr�me brulee please?� Stroo: *Nervous laughter*)

Is he cute, or is Edison Chen cute? (Yes yes yes, I�m hinting that I just saw him today � was sitting a metre away and looking like he wants to screw Maggie Q. Everybody looks like they want to screw Maggie Q. More about stars later)

Eileen pulled her childhood best friend Xiuling and me to St Pierre!! (Expensive French restaurant at Century Square area)

(Me: �OEI EILEEN YOUR CIGARETTE!!!� Eileen: �Oh ok ok, pose again.�)

Erm, that�s not a cigarette, kids. Don�t smoke. You will burn urself up accidentally � although that�s possibly all for the better.



Complimentary piece of eel � not too good, it has bit of bones in it. I think people should genetically modify fishes so that they have no bones.

Seriously. If you were a fish, would you be so inconsiderate as to have bones? I mean, what if people choke?

Come to think of it, prawns should be modified till they have no shells as well. Discourteous and insensitive prawns � causing all those human arguments about prawn peeling. Have they no manners?

I have no idea how prawns can survive with no shells but I say they should stop being sissy and give it a try. I�m sure they will manage to work it out.

ONE WHOLE BIG LUMP of silky codfish! My favourite fish! Has anyone any idea how they look like alive? How can a fish be so delicious?!!

Xiuling biting on some golden mushrooms while I sink my teeth into a piece of under-cooked asparagus.

I�m sure you can�t get enough of my pictures so here�s one to interrupt the string of photos of food.

A piece of Grandma Stroobant FLOURLESS chocolate cake. How the hell do they make cake flourless??! See, if cakes can be flourless, prawns can be shell-less! It�s not far-fetched at all!

And lastly, to end the blog entry on a sweet note, here�s cr�me brulee:

In case you are wondering that the hell is that pink-green weird-looking thing on the brulee, it�s a freaking fig.

I�m full of useless information. I happen to know that figs are Sun Wukong�s favourite food (curse the person who told me this and made me never forget, thus taking up my brain�s memory space).

Now, I have another piece of useless information.

He is a monkey, so do not trust his taste. The fig tasted like shit.