Tuesday, June 22, 2004

FOUR gmail accounts I shalt bestow

I know it's a tad late, but I was sick, so yeah, here are the winners of the gmail accounts!

And because none of my friends approached me for a Gmail account, I shall give all FOUR to the blog readers to wrote such lovely entries!!! I'd love to be able to give out more because I feel that many of you guys put in a lot of effort, but I can't. If I get more invites, I will, ok? But meanwhile, I've got to stick to my criteria stated: The ones that make me laugh, and the ones that touched me the most!

Here goes:

1) Steph (Alot of Stephs so that's quite anonymous right?)

I do not really know where to start, but firstly Xiaxue, do pardon my limited vocabulary and spelling mistakes if there were any.

I cannot describe how much I love you, because I do not know you in person. However, I love you as a blogger, and I love your blog entries, making it a point to read your entries everyday, though I do know that you do not blog everyday, I will click to your blog under my Favorites, and that's how engrossed I am into reading your blog.

I find you pretty, but that probably does not make me repeatedly got addicted to your blog- but it is the charm and how witty you are, that makes most of us- yeah! most of the blogders read your blog, and even your links, such as The FHM special and Character of My Life etc. Yeah, i own a blog, and probably i would not have done such a good job as how you did.
I have yet to see you in real life, but if there is a chance, being your friend would be fun!

I remember the times when the blogders, us, have spent with Xiaxue, you, throughout the Singtel competition, my DreamDate and i thought you are really good! Though the other competitors thought that you were not the type of person who could really get in because they could not get along with you, the competition is not about how pretty one could be, or how strong one's English is, or how friendly they are when they meet the public, but how their blog impress and change life of any individual.

It's about the blog and the blogger, not just the blogger himself or herself.

How i got to know your blog is, that i looked through friendster and saw a pretty-girl face photo, and decided to click on the link to your friendster acc out of curiosity and viola! I got into your blog and started reading, chuckling, bursting to tears of laughter and yeah! your blog brighten up my day.

That was 3 months ago. I did read through your achives since i was having a long holiday, and they were very well written.

I do not think you are someone who writes without sympathy, remember the girl who got a terminal illness or something and got to have an operation? By that post, im sure we can see you are not mean, Not even close to mean. I am very touched by that post, and i still think that those blogders who tried to "anti-xiaxue" or try to hate you for what you are, do not understand you at all, and do not accept you the way you really are.

Actually i wanted to write an entry to make you burst out laughing , but nah, i think these words do come from the bottom of my heart.

I guess this is getting long, it's 12.39Am, i don't really uh-huh, wanted to get the gmail, but just wanting to send my thoughts and feelings as a blogder and supporter,

Of xiaxue.blogspot.com, the blog and blogger whom i love.

Congrats, you got yourself a Gmail account!

2) AceRegen

She's fat, ugly and bitchy. She drools over cute guys. She is proud of the fact that she deploys words including but not limited to


She admits with pride that an orgasm is the most beautiful thing on earth. She dares troublefanners to suck her cock (Not that she has one anyway). She hisses with sharp sarcasm and snaps mercilessly at people who stepped on her pretty toes. She is unabashed to post her photos online, and stamped every uploaded photo with an integrated striking 'xiaxue.blogspot.com' tag on it. Some people hate her, but most Singaporean blog readers love her (blog). Xiaxue, a nickname more popular than the owner's own has thousands of blog-fans at her site-step daily.

Some models can cry when they read her harsh entries that accentuates on their tummy fats, breast size, make up and credibility, while celebrities to the likes of Jack Neo condemned via XXPBA (XiaXue Public Blogger Avenue). Her vivid imagination and creativity tarnish the reputation of Lili Potter (mother of Harry Potter), when she commented upon Sirius.

Have you seen this wizard indeed! Of course not, he's definitely no Brad Pitt! Look, in Order of The Phoenix, Sirius was described as being a total hunk in school.

He was in fact, so hunky, that Lily Potter tried to seduce him by engorgio-ing her breasts, but failed because there were too many girls using the same trick, and stuck to James Potter instead.

And cleverly asserts her defamation with 2 words, "Just kidding"

But she deserves credit for her blogs, and her site statistics show. You cannot deny that her daring, rebellious and refreshing views on her life events is what brought her to fame. Who cannot, but be astounded by a 20 year old girl that have no qualms about revealing publicly that she came up with a secret subtle method (for girls who have nothing better to do), imparted via a photo demonstration online to measure the length of a guy's penis anytime, anywhere, without any physical instrument?

Her loyal blog fans defended her entries like an iron wall when just a while ago, a troublefanner harassed her site nonstop. And when she miss blogging for a few days, her fans wait loyally for her, to the likes of

"Hmm......right here waiting"
"finally!!! *waits in anticipation. oh btw, a new 'blogder' here~ just read a couple of entries and i'm a fan! :)"


"it's been a long wait......"
"eh, 2 hours already. lalalala. cant wait for ur rawking posts"

to which she replies with a resigned yet smug protest,

"Very demanding leh u all...!! *poor me*

I'm not getting paid ok!!!!"

and as if nothing had happened, posted two lengthy blogs to feed the craving of her XXPBA-addicted fans. She showcased again her photo-journalised blog entries, making sure that any photos with her inside has been edited to perfection, from boob size, background colour, skin tonality etc. Her flair in photo-editing has earned her countless applause and accolade from her fans that never ceased to be amazed by her works. In a recent blog, she portrayed two of her best pals as CLEO cover girls that looked as if she stole an advert from the cosmetic company. She must have realised the danger of posting it just there, just that, and thus posted a series of photos that started from its orginal unaltered state to the finished product.

To conclude, you either love her or hate her. There's no in between. This little chilly brat has a knack for getting onto people's nerves. If you visit her site, respect her views as an individual rebel who gives fresh perspective and life to her readers. If you find her blogs downright disgusting and defamotary in nature, just erase her URL address off your mind. When one day you realise that you can't resist the temptation to find out what she's up to, visit her site to find out that you are her latest victim, my advice for you is to brush her comments off and laugh along with her fans. There's nothing much you can do unless you really believe your reputation is worth that hassle, trouble and cost of calling a law suit against her brash remarks. Unless of course, you want to set up an anti-XXPBA blog which I believe the challenge lies in building up your blog-readership statistics. *wink

I am not fat hor!!!! I am not fat!

3) EijiMiyake

i have hairy nipples and i like monkeys. please give me the gmail invite.

if you don't, i will post more disgusting facts about my body and expound on my illicit love of chimps EVERY DAY until you turn 60. your readers will screw up their faces, say "Ewwww!" and never come back to xiaxue.blogspot.com. Your popularity will drop to the level of david hasselhoff, and your budding career as a writer will be ruined. You will end up as a scriptwriter at mediacorp, where they will force you to write scripts for dramas set in the Japanese Occupation until you retire. In your depression, you will turn to Ruffles Cheddar & Sour Cream, and end up fat as a blimp. Worst of all, you will cease to shave your legs because... "nobody cares anymore".

Hark, Readers! Don't blame wendy for thinking of her future. It's for your own good too! Can you imagine XX in that delicious skirt from the heeren.... WITH LEG HAIR?! For the greater good, people, for the greater good...

Do the right thing sweetie.

Alright, you get the gmail account, only because I am so scared of you. Please, no more details about chimps! Nooooo!!!

4) Hyon-xhi (hello? What's with the act jap names?)

- Why I fuking deserve that gmail account -

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Apparently, the ever so FUNNY XiaXue (*cough*sucking-up*cough*) is giving away Gmail accounts. But there's a catch. Yeap, nothing comes free these days. They make you sweat and pay for every single thing you wish to own. They make you moan while they rape your insides, just so you can fukkin own a GMAIL ACCOUNT! HaH! SO back on topic. She giving away gmail accounts, but whoever wants one has to write uh... wait... something? What was it again? I'll check later.

Anyways, I'm trying my luck and so here's my explanation of WHY I Deserve a Gmail account.

You know why? Because Gmail accounts are cool. And when I have a Gmail account, I GET TO BECOME COOL. Look around. Look at those smirky assed-up Gmail account holders. They have something special about them. Can't you see? They have that aura. That "special" thing, y'all. The kinds you see in godly figures. Like Buddha for instance. You know, that yellow shinning thing behind him? No it's not a light bulb shinning, stupid. You know what is it?

It's Gmail coolness, baby.

Click to enlarge. I know you want to.

I want to be just like that. Like Buddha-Gmail-coolness. And the fact that I've already said millions of times that I wish to become a powerful figure, me owning a Gmail account will definitely aid my journey towards attaining Godly powers. MWAHAHAHA!

I don't know how 1 gig of email space will make me cool, but TRUST ME. IT DOES and IT WILL. Oh, and I get to store huge mailed porn without deleting them too. That is until my 1 gig runs out. YAY!

Whoops? I checked and I realised that I was actually supposed to write about this:-
"Tell me why you read my blog and why I am, like, the best blogger ever! Ha ha!"
Uh... okay... nevermind! I can still do this.

Why I think XiaXue is the best blogger ever?
She's the best blogger ever mainly because right now I need to suck-up to her to get that Gmail account. Hah! And didn't I mention that Gmail account holders are cool? She's a Gmail user so that's why Xiaxue the BESTEST blogger ever. She has that buddha-Gmail-coolness thing going on. Oh, she's a biAtch too. BiAtches are fun. XiaXue makes the world a happier place to live in. Lalalala.

Okay. There you have it. My entry. I've just wasted an hour figuring out what to write and now I need to go finish my work. So, fuk you (XiaXue) for making me do this. Haha.

Let's just hope now that she's actually reading this. Hmmm...

Super, super funny. You get a gmail account. I love the drawing.

There you go, I told you it's good to be a XIAXUE BLOGDER!

Winners please email me, xiaxue@gmail.com, to get you account! Asap, coz the good names are being snatched up!

Xiaxue-the-bestest-blogger (or so they agree)