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Showing posts from August, 2004

Assumptions by Simpletons

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Hi dingbats! Too many spines on the porcupine's back will cause it to finally break, and I've just received one last email ("Are u really so horny in real life, Wendy?") that inspired me to write this blog entry. There are so many stupid induhviduals infesting the world that I've decided to, once and for all, set their assumptions all right at one go - since they are so convinced they are right anyway. Let me try to prevent them from reading this paragraph (it is for the smartie pants only), which will be written in a string of negatives like that pessimistic robot did for Trillian in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (citing a book is an erroneous way to invite them away also) [Douglas Adams, 1979] in an utterly circumlocutory chunk where I will be throwing in random bombastic words ANAESTHESIOSLOGY to encourage the imbeciles to misapprehend SODIUM MONOGLUMATORM my point , which is: Of the following, naught is accurate, or factual .

Staying in Kallang Bahru/Hougang? Need $100?

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Oh dear ... He really needs the sex you know ... Do you live in Hougang or Kallang Bahru? If you need the $100 desperately, why not shag him? Just a few minutes of your time, and it might even feel good ... WHAT? You are a guy? Never mind la, ask Lewis if he can accept your chaste ass. I'm sure he wouldn't mind. Be sure to use a condom!!! Dear Lewis, do not blame me! I was merely giving you more choices you see ... Careful of VD! Herpes is incurable!

Open contempt

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BAH! This is getting serious. I had another dire warning from a friend that my blog would eventually cause me all my friends (who treasure privacy anyway), and there is too much truth in his statement to whistle and ignore, so this eventually caused me to lost whatever interest and inspiration I had to write a blog entry. Thus ends this blog entry. HA! Kidding la. But seriously speaking, I had absolutely nothing to blog about recently (nothing to do with the dire warning). Sure, plenty of people (not friends) made me angry, but I can't write about them because ... what are the chances that they would not read it? Slightly less than zero. So frustrating. Since I had nothing to blog about, I almost decided on making Eddy the Engineer meet another animal crossing the road with him (A tibetian llama this time) but well ... I couldn't think of anything funny/interesting to say even about that. I shall thus hide my non-inspired blog entry with a silly movie review - wh

Veggie Fun!

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Hi! Let's guess what these pictures stand for! . . . . Really to guess? It's a Bitchy Brinjal! Ok, NEXT! What's this? Which veggie has holes in its stems? It's a Kinky Kangkong! Those are eyes on it ... And it's slightly more worried than it should rightly be ... Pessimistic? Nope. It's a Paranoid Potato! NEXT! Bet you didn't get any correct you dum dum! Ok this is kinda tougher. It's a kind of bean, I can tell you that. It's a Frustrated French Bean!! p/s: The context of the words are not really important. It's a Mumbling Mushroom! Yes it's spinach. It's a Severed Spinach! You cannot

The versatile star cushion and BOM!

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Hi everybody! My name is Chlamydia! I am the guest blogger for today and I am a green star* cushion! * Well not exactly star, you'll see. Look! I can become many shapes! Here's my default! I am a moon now! Yaay! Five more of my brothers and we can be the Singapore flag! What am I? That's correct! I'm an unripe banana! Voila! Kan wo qi shi er bian! See! I'm now the pichonkun droplet in Daikin's ads! I am now a pacman monster!!!!!!!! ***************** Look! Xiaxue was at the Esplanade for the Singapore Fireworks Festival for the first concert with Birdy, Weili, Meiyan and Alvin (Meiyan and Alvin both Shuyin's and Weili's friends)! Her friends look pretty happy ... Birdy wants you to praise her sailormoon boots! Zhang Zheng Yue preparing for the concert later. Why is Xiaxue's camera constantly capturing orbs? Orbs are supposed to be spirits. If that's the case, then surely ghosts

Then, and then Now.

Ha! Avid readers will recall how last Christmas I was heavily flamed in the dumbass forums Hardwarezone and Sammyboy or something. My reaction? I cried. I did not understand why here I am, blogging my best and not harming anyone, and yet, some people are there saying I am a whore and laughing at my pictures. In fact, I even decided to close down my site. Today, with the Straits Times reporting about my website, there are more stupid/narrow-minded people than ever who read me, although the increase in traffic also includes many people who appreciate my site. (Note for self-assuming people: I did not say everyone who hates me is stupid, I said (some) stupid people hate me - it's different.) The forum-idiots are flaming me worse than ever! Here's one example , though this one is really quite mild. Think they were being courteous. (Got more examples? Post the links up!) But anyway, I just realised how different my reactions are 8 months from then. I look at the

Rachel McAdams in The Notebook

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Most of us would not want to watch a boring show like The Notebook ; even I have to admit that the poster looked thoroughly unappealing. No wait, that looks pretty sensual actually. But who the hell wants to watch a strictly romantic flick (not romantic comedy, mind you.)? Wong the Lawyer had free tickets to watch a strictly no free tickets show, so we had a choice between The Notebook and Fahrenheit 9/11 (What's the title anyway?), and we chose the former. It is the absolute best romance movie I have watched. Maybe I am biased, because I totally ADORE lead actress Rachel McAdams. I think she is the MOST (yes, most) pretty actress in Hollywood. Let's talk about her. Her bigger debut came from The Hot Chick , where her character was acted out by Rob Schneider most of the time. Yet, both the actor's and actress' acting was so convincingly good, that we forgot they do NOT actually have each other's spirits inside their bodies!

R21?

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Warning: This part is for older blogders (blog readers), so if you came in from the Sunday Times, skip the following part (till the red dotted lines) and read the more exciting bits. And oh, I had a good hair day today too. So yeah. Yes, yes, I DO know that I am featured on the Straits Times, and I am duly elated by that. I look at this picture and I feel thankful I do not have cavities However, I remember the smaller mention in the first article saying I'm an anonymous scribbler? I blogged about how happy I was to be on the papers? I heard feedback saying that I am damn hao lian about that, so in order to refrain stupid people from making such assumptions, I kept quiet about the 2nd article regarding the Singaporean rebels. Now, because I chose to keep quiet about the second article, I also heard feedback that people think I am too proud and a silly Straits Times article is beneath me. Utter bollocks. STUPID PEOPLE ARE EVERYWHERE, trying to impo