Wednesday, December 22, 2004


BAH! Had enough. Last straw. Was reading some stupid pretty girl's blog and she is model, has fantastic boyfriend, and has pictures of both on yacht ALA CREDIT CARD ADS.

Complete with white bikini and flapping hair in sea breeze.

Bah! Cannot stand girls who whimper on their blog how fabulous their boyfriends are. GO EAT SHIT! YES, I (JUST) AM JEALOUS!


Tonight is one of those emotional nights I shall go through. I shall do self-examination to find out what is wrong with me. CERTAINLY there is something very wrong. Why on said girl's blog does absolutely-cute boyfriend seem to be meeting her everyday for the past 7 years or so?

I mean, her neh nehs are quite big lah, but still? Big neh neh then must everyday meet meh?

Buay sian meh, everyday meet her? Meet me lah!

In contrast, the last semi-serious/dating relationship I had (last than 2 weeks ago), the guy wanted to meet me around once a freaking week. ONCE A FREAKING WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot believe it. Even if he wanted to meet me just for sex, surely the average man's sex drive is more than once a freaking week?

In the two months we have been dating, we meet so little that I cannot even remember now what kinda parting his hair has.

I was sitting with him in a coffeeshop once, and pondering to myself, that if I should ever marry this man, what will happen during our wedding?

This thought led to my banqueting days, when I saw so many couples getting hitched. Without fail for most young couples, their friends would play games with them, like asking the groom what is the bride's favourite colour, and forfeits if the groom cannot get it right.

I frowned as my thoughts moved to the fact that he wouldn't be able to get that question right if he were asked (never bothered to find out I think, though pink is obvious answer), and then just when I was about to tell him, "You don't know my favourite colour!" I imagined him replying, "Neither do you know mine!" and stopped myself.

I decided to not be self-centred, and asked, "What is your favourite colour?".

This ended up in a semi-heated discussion on favourite colours. How can people argue about favourite colours, you ask. Indeed! His stand is that he doesn't know his favourite colour.

So I said, "Decide on one lor. Amazing that you don't already have one. Where got people don't have favourite colour one??"

He replied that he really doesn't know (note: Not doesn't HAVE). He said he might have one, but if I were to ask him to decide now, then it is a hassle to make up his mind, not unlike the kinda vexations people get by solving complex differentiation (yes, know how to spell now) problems while having a splitting headache.

When I argued that one MUST have a colour that one generally prefers, he said that he does not, i.e. he prefers red on Ferraris and white on Mercs; therefore he does not have an answer for me.

Then I said that that would mean he doesn't have one, and therefore, when I asked, he should have just answered that directly.

He retorted that he MIGHT have one, but he doesn't have to go through the trouble of making up his mind.

He also added that men in general do not think about such juvenile things, and only women delve on such crazy matters (or just me), and asking him to decide on a favourite colour would cause him a headache (and he was already tired; coincidentally every time he was out with me he is anyway), so can I please just stop my nonsense.

I argued that it is TOTALLY NOT TRUE that (most, if not all) men do not have favourite colours.

At this precise point of time, an ex-classmate of mine walked past. I said hi to him, attracted his attention, and motioned him over.

"Yixun, what is your favourite colour?"

I cannot remember what happened after that, but I never found out his favourite colour, neither did he bother to ask about mine.

I also remember this once, we were in his car, and I asked about his ex. Typically, ex was with him for many years, and despite his violent denying, I insist she must be a shu nu.

Below is proof.


"Is she talkative like me?"
"Quiet quiet one lah."
"Yikes. Then so sian."


I think about the times he and I laughed together at the jokes we made.

"Do you and her even laugh?"
"Yes, always. I always make her laugh."

Fucking insensitive thing to say (because it seems to hint that he doesn't enjoy times with me more than with her), but I shall let it pass.

The catch is the "make her laugh" part. SHU NU LAH! Passive girls who sit back and giggle. Fuckanathan. Men. They like this kind lah! Doesn't anyone appreciate a girl nowadays who can catch a joke, laugh at it, and then manage to bounce it back to the man for another laugh? Any takers? No?

THEN SCREW EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It sucks to have a sense of humour!!!!!!!!

I hate to not be a shu nu!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TRANSFORM TRANSFORM!!! Kan wo qi shi er bian! Fail.

Hmmm. Shall convince self he is into animals and such.

So having said that, that relationship obviously failed because I do not even feel he likes me. Even if he does, it is slightly more than he loves good weather - not enough.

Why ah, why???????? WO SHI MEI NU LEH! Ok ok seriously. Can someone tell me what is wrong with me? Why can't I seem to get decent guys? Guys whom I also like back? Is it because I have the power to put up their photos and claim their penis is small whenever I get angry?

I wouldn't what! See, I left said colour-neutral ex anonymous!

I want someone with intelligence and a sense of humour. Also aesthetics cannot be that bad lah. Very tough meh??!

I had decided.

It's time.

I shall open my options to the vast internet world.

Please feel free to bid for being my one true love here.

Thank you.