Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Pedigree, materialism, and maybe a delirious dream or two

Alrighty ... I have a huge jumble of thoughts going on right now in my head, and I think I shall try to get them all out.

Let's start off with a little prelude: How's the media scene like in Singapore? The most of us would possibly never get to knowing it, watching the glamourous side of it all from the sidelines.

But the media scene here is the same as everywhere else - dirty.

Who's fucking who for precisely what? X person got a role? It may not be as simple as great acting talents and a set of nice tits; maybe utilising the latter, yes.

And yet, what bothers me is that the adults who are at least partially in the scene knows the media's dirty secrets, but yet no one talks about it. No one admits it. Everyone is pretending to be all chaste for the sake of the deluded public and the mesmerised fans.

People do not want to taint the pristine image of the artistes they see on TV. But well, the truth is there! I mean, even if these people do not screw around, maybe they are screwing one important person then. OK, maybe some are not like that, but people do not say "in life it is not what you know but who you know" for nothing, ay?

"Well," you ask defiantly. "If people are really screwing around, then how come we don't know leh? The media will surely take photos one what."

BECAUSE our media is one chummy big family, hello? Blogs, you should thank god right now, are not part of that family. ;)

Let's take for instance our own Fann Wong. We know that some time ago she slapped her boyfriend of 11 years because he was seen with Ericia Lee (at some restaurant I think they reported. I heard it was Velvet).

Now the media is speculating that she is with, of all people, Christopher Lee. I shall roll my eyes right now. *roll eyes*

The said ex-boyfriend of 11 years happens to be very, very wealthy.

Do you think, after a taste of the high life, she'd want to be with Christopher Lee whose career is ... well ... uneventful to say the least? Maybe she wants a return to true simple love instead - but I am skeptical. I even find it a little laughable. Ha.

Let's also look at a blog that I found, courtesy of Mr Miyagi. To Mr Miyagi, I'm sorry if my words are gonna hurt a little, but well ... opinions can't always be good. In any case Mr Miyagi, if I am wrong in any part of the following, do correct me! And I love your blog!

So anyway. The blog belongs to who you think it belongs to. The blog also pissed me off. Somewhat. In the said blog, said actress, let's call her Miss F, is obviously trying to come across (I don't say whether sincere or not) as being devout, sincere, and even with a tinge of bitterness at what life has dished out to her (but of course, she is lucky because she has her fans' support) since being an actress is giving her such a hard time and it is a job that nobody would ever want.

She also writes about her connection with God. While I have nothing against people with faith, I do find it a little stretched to make a decision, decide you don't actually know why you made that choice because you shouldn't have, whine about it, regret it, and later decide to be happy because she realised it was God who made the decision for her and of course, God knows best.

Like, huh?

I don't get it, someone enlighten me? And what if she made the other choice? Was that God's will too? The thing is, we don't know, so don't put words into God's mouth. But shrugs, right? Whatever makes her happy!! (which doesn't mean I cannot say my take)

Well of course, I do not expect her to write about which CEO sent her home in what car, but the least she can do is ... I don't know. Just stop that acting please?

It is not her fault. If I were an artiste who did not know the blogosphere any better, I'd possibly be writing the exact same stuff. For what? For PR and marketing of course. For the benefit of her teensy fans.

But let me tell you about the blogosphere Miss F - the realm of internet, where information is interactive unlike other forms of media, is not a place where hypocrisy is tolerated. On TV, you rule. You are there in the set, people are not. If you act lousy, the most we can do is turn off the telly.

We cannot go inside there to scold you. *Makes a loud squeaky scolding noise to demostrate*

In the cyberworld, you are normal like the rest of us. I can even go as far as saying blogging strips you of the heightened status quo you are supposed to have. Why? Because everyone can be anyone here! Actress, so what? Have that big audience and credibility that the best blogs do? Just like Maddox says, on the internet, he is more powerful than big brands.

Blog surfers can sniff out insincerity in a jiffy. Make a "Marketing Blog", have a single discrepancy in your entries, and the next day people are attacking it on forums like packs of hungry hyenas.

Don't. If you want to write pitiful entries like those, my advice is don't. Because people can be anonymous here, nobody will give sympathy. Get out of the blogosphere; go back to your real life.

Her angry fans could be hollering in front of their PCs decorated with her wallpaper now: "Y R YOU DOIGN TIS U EViL BiTCH F**** HAB NEBER DID ANYTING 2 U AND SHE IS VERY DEPRESSED NOW OLREADI WITHOUT YOU ADDING TO HER TORUBLES!!!111"

Well - simply because I am AGAINST people who are fake. Wake up your idea little children! All the fans of the artistes! All!!!! Not only Miss F's! Stop being so vehement against the idea of your idol being less than perfect! (Idea of your idol lol)

When you have finished all your studying and homework for the week, make a trip to Zouk. That is a club btw, so you guys will not be allowed in. (If you are above 18 and still a siao fan I suggest you go hang yourself) It's ok, just wait outside Zouk and pretend to be having a school flag day. You can even bring a laptop and play Gunbound with your friends outside.

Wait for the stars to come, and then when they go out of Zouk you can see how drunk they are and whose's car they sit on when they go back. Ferrari owner happens to be her friend? No such coincidence - he likes having a celebrity in his car, she loves being driven, and she possibly (I SAY POSSIBLY) thinks she deserves no less. (No offence to Mr Miyagi's sweet ride!) What they do after riding in the car is anybody's guess.

Are devout Christians supposed to behave in this manner, I wonder?

Let me make something very clear here: I may seem like I have something against fucking around with rich people, but I actually don't. I accept that people do it, and I will not comment on my take of the matter. As Shianux once told me, children will make a big fuss and get angry over issues they do not agree with. Adults take it in their strides and accept it as part and parcel of life. So, alright. I have established that I do not have anything against fucking around. In case anyone catches me in a nice Porsche while departing drunkenly out from Zouk, do remember that I am not the one who is acting all demure on my blog - which is my issue (ie hypocrisy).

Let's get on with arguing with Miss F's imaginary fans here. They are also hypothetically saying that she is depressed (or so portrayed on blog) so I, nor anyone, should bully her.

My old blogders would know I have no time for depressed people. They can all either go suck my cock, or pull themselves together and stop whining. Why should we only bully happy people and be kind and sympathetic towards depressed people? I say, she has a booming (well, ok, not exactly but I see her endorsement deals are doing well) career, has millions of fans and suitors, and I think you common lemmings have NO RIGHTS AT ALL TO PITY HER! None whatsoever! She is living a more fortunate life than (most of) you, hello? (Even if she herself doesn't think so we have to admit that a five-figure endorsement fee from Citigems and daily fan mail is not something anyone can get. If she is unsatisfied, it is her own problem. Maybe she ought to look at people with cancer/body odour/herpes/singed eyebrows/ok enough).

Of course, the age-old argument is right there on the blog, farting in your face: She didn't expect the blog to be public, it was merely for her well-meaning fans, and she wasn't writing for the an audience. And ... *drumroll* The classic!: If you want to judge, go away and don't come back.

I know I've always used the same argument before I got "famous", but notice I do not say that now - simply because that argument is now invalid for me. (Note for the slow: It is invalid because I am now somewhat famous) And for her, it was flawed from the start.

You are an actress, and with Singapore's limited pool of actresses you think people will not clamber to read the blog? Don't delude yourself; you are obviously writing for an audience. Unfortunately, you cannot split the audience into two and only take those with good comments for you, my dear. Uh uh! *Wags index finger side-to-side in an irritating manner*

Expect people not to judge? Don't kid me please - with that chosen profession your whole life's performance is a toy for people's judgement. In exchange for the attention, money, and fawning you get. If you don't want to be judged, then don't join the star awards. In the same way, if you don't want to be judged in this cyber realm, then don't even come in.

A little advice for Miss F: God destined me to write this entry for you my love! I am your savior! Well, go to Velvet a little less, don't always be late for work, and stop using hallucinated advice from a divine being as an excuse for ridiculous behaviour. Oh, and blog truthfully too - if not telling the whole truth then at least not lying. Very stretched indeed coming from an unemployed person of course, but ... hey! I am not unemployed! I am getting a fair bit of money from just writing rubbish! Got read my this month's Maxim column not? GO BUY NOWWWWWW! (Coincidentally I think it has her inside)

You get what I am talking about? You don't? Well, I don't blame you. I can only say I know certain information about certain artistes from several reliable sources, and I cannot spew it all out because it is not only mean but also defamation (since onus lies on me and I ain't no detective). Without these information, nothing about this blog entry makes sense.

Let's move abruptly to another topic.

Do you like chendol? I kinda like it. It has red beans and I like the green stuff inside. When I was young I used to think they were worms!

I shall continue this blog entry tomorrow, the pedigree and materialism part, because it is ridiculously late now and I shall sleep.

A warm toasty hug!

P/s: No personal attacks allowed in the comments! Except those against me! Miss F's fans - please start scolding me because I love to see young teens full of angst! Go on, insult my stumpy legs, intellect, sluttiness and split ends! "Hey," I will thus whine. "Go away leh ... I not 'writting' to impress and if you want to judge, don't come back. It's my blog not yours."

Heh heh heh!! I feel a little like Harry Potter in that scene in Order of the Phoenix where he gave the interview the the Quibbler and Umbridge banned the school from reading it and Malfoy cannot say anything about the interview to Potter because it would mean he read it and thus broke a school rule. Heh heh heh! (Similarity is that the fans cannot spam me because it would mean they disagree with Ms F's statement)

Alright. I can almost feel the "sian" look radiating from everyone. No one else here a Harry Potter fan? No? Ok fine.


Come to think of it maybe I should disallow comments. Should I? People are gonna say I am mean ... But I am just stating my opinions mah ... Fuck lah, leave it there for a bit.