I am very sian to write this out coz Shuyin is at my place then I feel obligated to entertain her by swallowing that sword in the cupboard and blowing some fire and juggling things, but yeah, I understand that some friends are lost and don't know what to get for me, and my birthday is this coming Thursday (though party on Friday) and if I don't wanna receive shitty gifts (Wong: Pink toilet roll holder with a picture of a cat) I'd better make disclaimers nowwwwww!
Ok here goes!~! My wishlist!
An aircon! I've been complaining since goodness knows when. Whenever my friends come stay over or when the occasional filming takes place, people burn. My mom has an aircon in her room, why can't I get one?
If you are thinking that it is improbable that you bring an aircon to my chalet to give it to me ... You can always ask people to contribute to an aircon fund and pass it to me in an angpow, or you can always pass me some sanyo vouchers.
Yes, I want the removable/window kind.
Or rather, shoes with straw-like heels and strings to tie around the ankles. If you can find any decent espadrilles with at least a 4 inch heel (yes I am that short), please let me know, or better yet, buy for me! Yay!
Haiz, so nice ... It cannot be found in Singapore, I have no idea why! This sucks. A simple pair of shoes ...
Topshop has a pair of green and white ones which I quite like, but it is sold at an exorbitant price of $95 and well, it is quite ridiculous to pay so much for something to wear on your feet ...
I'm a size 4 or 5.
3) A diamond encrusted XIAXUE necklace!
Shuyin says she will go buy diamantes and stick on for me, so yeah, this is booked. Bah!
4) A slow loris!!
Wah! This photo is super old-school! I cannot stand it! How come my eyebrows look like that? Anyway, I'm not the star of the photo, it is that creature!
Very cute right? It is a slow loris (no fast jokes please)! Please get a baby loris for me please please please! I promise I wouldn't let Cloudy eat it up.
Kelvin said the loris is very ugly and he wouldn't buy it for me. He said he'd rather get me a bat, since the loris looks like a bat, and I can have the option of breaking off the wings if I don't want him with wings.
5) Sex with an elf
Only one person can grant me this, and you know who you are, Mr Bloom.
6) A silver-pink SLK
Pardon the bad photoshop
No other colour if you want to buy me this! Perferably, you can wrap the sweetie up in giant gold satin ribbons and surprise me (I know I will not longer be surprised, but shut up) by swinging the keys with a cheeky grin and I'd hop onto you and rush to the car with a crazy degree of happiness.
Never mind the fact that I can't drive. One can dream, can't she?!
7) A doctor stripper for my bdae
Oooooh Oh my gosh! I love doctors. Intellectual men are fucking sexy! I get damn aroused by men spelling and pronouncing difficult words! Gimme medical terms! Hebephrenic! Onomatopoeia! Phlegm! Wah, I like!
No, I would not like Steven Lim at my party, because he looks way too vapid to pass off as a smart doctor.
Perferably with penis veins!
Ok about penis veins. What are they, exactly? See the scrolling marquee?
Fine, it is rather annoying and no one looks at it. But this!
The last picture? That's penis veins, courtesy of Mr Justin Timberlake. So fucking sexy ay? :D
I cannot think of anything else I really want at the moment, except maybe a sponsored package to permanent full body hair removal, my enemies assasinated, full extermination of stupid people, etc.
If you are thinking of buying something else, then here's what NOT to buy:
1) Perlini's Silver.
I hate nondescript, boring jewellery. I also hate mindless gifts - which is what Perlini's is the epitome of. No perlini's. If you want to get jewellery, my favourite is from Forever 21, and buy Gold instead of silver.
Chunky ones. =)
2) Anything Blue
Yes I know you know what blue is like, but to emphasize... I HATE THAT COLOUR. I hate it to a vengence. Anything blue, I wouldn't wear. Well ok, maybe except Levi's ... Which in this case is length 30, waist 25... And low rise.
3) Too flat shoes
I don't wear flat shoes.
4) Cutesy stuff
Oh, so cute! *Slaps bear off the table*
NO! No stuff toys! I am no longer 20!
I have already!
Ok I think that's about it. I like pink, bags, make up (from Mac!), books (funny green ones), gadgets (I need a new camera/palm/handphonnnnnne - 8910 went bust) and clothes (size S) and money and sex and food and WAH A LOT OF THINGS!!
If you just want to give me the ultimate gift that can buy everything else, you can transfer money to 175-22104-2 POSB savings, or .... Email me if you want to send anything by post and I'd give you my dad's office address!
I suppose if you want to be really funny you can buy for me Localbrand t-shirts, or a copy of Maxim. (Note: it is not really very funny)
I've got to go, I'd put the details of the chalet in a bit.