I am a Chinese genius at heart

I had this dream.

I dreamt that there were two Indian mamashop owners who were cannibals. They wanted to eat up my RV friends (who are, since RV is a Chinese school, all Chinese).

Somehow, we ended up in a desert, and they ate somebody up. I was damn scared I was to be next. However, they seemed to be full with one RV student, and were quite friendly to the rest of us after that.

We sat down in a circle (with like 7 or 8 other students) and the two cannibals started to demand that we all say [that's Chinese proverbs, or idioms, I don't know], one by one. Although they wouldn't understand, it would be entertaining to hear.

One by one my RV schoolmates came up with ridiculously difficult proverbs/idioms that I cannot recite for my life. But I knew the idioms were correct because I've heard them before la, but you know, you cannot just recall all at one time like that.

We got through like 6 idioms, and everybody applauded when someone said something difficult. I was amazed at their Chinese standards. It was spectacular the amount of proverbs they can come up with, though I cannot remember them now.

When it got to my turn, I said . They all exclaimed I was wrong, because it is a and not a . (In which, I now checked and realised it is a )

I was very sad, because I thought my proverb was very cheam and impressive. I think, if I am not failing my primary school (higher chinese) teacher, that the stork got into a fight with a clam or something, while they fought the fisherman go catch them and he tan dio from the fight. It is used to ask people not to fight or others will benefit from it.

I woke up.

When I woke up, I realised there was no need to be so impressed with all my schoolmates, BECAUSE ALL THE PROVERBS WERE IN MY HEAD! Amazing right? I cannot say them if my life depended on it, and yet in the dream?

Wah! I am actually a Chinese expert if I can get all the stuff into my conscious self! Next time, I must try to do differentiation in my dreams! Maybe, maybe, I can even calculate the trajectory paths of warheads! I am a sub-conscious genius, and Mensa concurs!

Speaking of stupidity, my friend, let's call him Lindt (fuck their chocolate is nice, I'm eating now), had a friend of his exclaim to him on day: "I can't believe you are that stupid Xiaxue's friend!"

Apparently that friend saw Lindt's photo on my blog and felt Lindt was lowering himself to be associated with a empty vessel like myself. Lindt says that his friend is not that smart either.

I AM VERY ANGRY! Who are these fucking people who are judging my intellect? Fucking DUMBASS BITCH is not even smart herself! USE MY MENSA CERT TO SLAP HER BLOODY FACE. If she is a genius, I concede defeat. I am stupid compared to her. But I am not!

Where do people conclude that I am dumb? Where? By just reading the blog? Jokes, people, jokes. I think it is funny to pretend to be a complete bimbo... sometimes anyway. Just because I write in a casual manner here doesn't mean I am incapable of writing serious stuff.

Or is it because I am vain and I place too much emphasis on my looks?

Yes I know, throughout history the geniuses rarely looked good and Einstein never bothered with his hair, but don't people realise that Vanity and intellect are not mutually exclusive? They are not! Just because I am vain doesn't mean I am dumb.

Oh well. Now the gstring tanline and blonde hair would make things worse. Forget it, I don't have to prove anything to anyone. Who cares about jealous losers. Lindt is my friend and as long as HE doesnt think I am dumb, the world is good.

A bobble. Felling trees. Oh, nothing, just cute words I suddenly thought of.


Unknown said…
xiaxue, u r not dumb at all lor...the funniest people in the world are actually the smartest,see Mr. Bean (Rowan Atkinson), he's a very smart guy! being funny needs high IQ, B4 tat lindt's fren who said u dumb. she's the one who's dumb. say, who can make 8000 visitors to her blog everyday? only u, xiaxue.
fabz said…
agrees... :)
rv rocks!!!
self999999 said…
i really think that its horrible people think that ALL singaporeans are like you. that is racist, selfish and boastful.
at first i liked your blog, but reading deeper i really saw what kind of person you are. and if it werent for a singaporean guy, i wouldnt have known that EVENsingaporeans hate your guts after all.
i wish you a happy life wendy, that you find a deeper and more realistic meaning to life.

self999999 said…
the only reason why you get a lot of visitors to your site is because its posted on the blogger site. sheesh!
when i first saw you i actually thought you're a smart and sophisticated lady. its funny how you managed to never fail my worst expectations.
zekai said…
Truely enjoyed those pics you posted before this thread. Congrats on finding your camera back or I won't mind donating $1 to the best writer I read to before going off to bed every night.
andrenelim said…
Definately you should be ashamed of yourself for not being able to speak good chinese. Cos banana sucks and banana is the forlorn people in the world. For goodness sake you are a chinese. Please don't "xiaxuey" chinese and learn more mandrin. Maybe you should watch the movie "I Not Stupid"
Alovefororange said…
GOsh, whats wrong with this people? I seriously wonder the efforts people make to put you down.


Seriously, I totally agree with you that there will always be a certain persona that is put up here. You write in a naturally funny way... in your arrogant cutesy way. Haha...

Think that you are a unique individual that is truely da bomb.

Ignore those flamers.

Moof said…
GUess thos ppl can be describe with tis chinses saying "吃不到葡萄,说葡萄酸" Anyway End of e day just b comfortable wif urself, there is no right or wrong but only comparism.
B.D. Crabtree said…
aiya... I was all ready to comment and NO POST! For what!? Getting soft on ugly people, xiaxue... Oh well, I guess this is just btween you and me:
U looked like a celebrity yourself. Would like to know where you have your hair perm. Kimage?

pol said…
For someone who calls herself smart, you should look up the definition of stupid. it doesn't necessarily mean dumb.
MightyBV said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
SoInLove said…
Hello Xiaxue,

Yes your Chinese is great! Haha. =P Even if you thought of them sub consciously, it meant you know those words exist. LOL! And don't worry we're perfectly alright with you pretending to be a bimbo when blogging, because that's the whole fun of it! It makes blogging more interesting to read, than those normal common blogs with perfect english and boring content. Whoops.

So don't be bothered about those real "stupid" people who are trying so hard to pull you down to the pits. Who knows, it might be only 1 person making all the different unpleasant postings. So 7999 people are on your side. Heez. Well, you can please someone, but you can never please everyone.

Most importantly, don't give up because of that few pests, instead, persevere on because there are people like me who supports you. Do not give in to those nasty people and fall into their traps.

Take care and can't wait to see your next post! ^_^
Raine said…

ever since i was introduced to your blog some time last year i have to confess that i have never failed to read it.

to the people who say that you're dumb.. screw them!!!

seriously.. who are they to judge? by saying that someone is dumb are they saying that they themselves are smart? what are they basing their comments on? what are they basing their "intelligence" on? a person might be "book smart" but that does not mean necessarily mean that they are "street smart".. i think its important that we have an equal balance of both..

i personally think that you have an equal balance of both "book smart" and street smart".. so going on "kicking ass" with your blog..

you totally rock!!!
Donch Panic said…
this is quite normal what...ppl always go on the offensive when they felt threatened or inferior!
nh2 said…
Hey come on, don't go boasting about how high your IQ is. I am from Mensa too and I find it appaling u actually think that being from Mensa = being smart. The Mensa IQ test is highly flawed.

What's your exact IQ score? Huh? I think u r just trying to use the "Mensa" tag to cover up your insecurities.

Might be an offensive comment but I guess thats how I feel.
thisatisfied said…
Er.... think she was trying to make her blog more humourous by mentioning Mensa. Aren't you reading too much into it? Xiaxue was just trying to make a point there, not boasting about herself la. If you are a regular reader of her blog, then you should already know.
MiE said…
Aiyor people!!

She's joking!



Different people have different humours. Each to his own. You may have not seen the humour in what she writes cos your sense of humour is different than hers but that doesn't mean that you should critic her like that.
jOyCeY said…
wad's wrong with u ppl? if u do not like wad she i writing, y do u make it a pt to visit her blog on a regular basis? dun u guys haf smt beta to do? do not flame ppl's blog bcos it is her blog. i think she has de right to say wadeva she wans to..
Woddee said…
you go girl! tell them to screw themselves! who are they to tell you that you are stupid!? if you are stupid, you wouldn't be a journalist for the New Paper!!

so you guys who bad-mouth wendy, go screw your ownself! don't have the talent don't say lah. if jealous of her, say so. no need to act like a coward and say bad things to her.
XXsnowboyXX said…
to hav that kinda wicked thought already speaks volume of wat kinda person Lindt's fren is.

eh, i believe "slapping her bloody face with MENSA cert" is just a figure of speech.... so nh2, i think your feelings, together with your whole mind, are FLAWED!!!

xiaxue i wish to be your fren still must wait long long leh... so fortunate of Lindt :)
missmatchstick said…
Haha...very funny. I wish I can have a more intellectual dream too. By the way, your previous entry is even funnier. As to how to look cuter,you can wear your one and only 'shu nu' skirt which you still keep. :P
well, i've been reading this for some time, and all i can say is that it is very humorous for what it is. regardless of whether or not these are your real opinions, your style is very interesting, not to mention intellectual on many levels.

as to people who flame you, take it as a compliment. after all, you know you're good if people hate you. lolz. good work.
well, i find tt u are pretty similar to Feste in Twelfth Night.. a rather intelligent and intereting character.. a outstanding and unique one i wld say.. except tt u are definitely alot prettier and attractive(in the form of both internal and external). ive got a mensa cert too, cheers to the mensa geniuses!
HaMz said…
Reading other peoples commenting your blog are more fun than reading what you've write LoL. Some of it anyway... They never failed to amuse me...
jeffyen said…
Vanity and intellect are not mutually exclusive? They are not! Just because I am vain doesn't mean I am dumb.

Anyone who can string 'vanity', 'intellect' and 'not mutually exclusive' into a single sentence cannot be all that dumb. You rock!

If Wendy will stop blogging because of a few humourless peeps, then she wouldn't be Xiaxue anymore man.

A normal girl and her normal life, that's what I like =) Keep the funny stuff coming.

R said…
love your blog. whatever oother people say, i still think your blog is highly readable & also extremely funny & entertaining. why do people judge your character based on mere blog posts? it does baffle me alot. if you really despise xiaxue so much, will you kindly NOT read her blog anymore? not everyone is prim & proper & politically correct (& boring). xiaxue's sense of humour is a unique departure from many of the blogs out there. wanna look for deep intellectual discussions on political division? go read some other blog. if you're here, you might as well sit back, relax & ENJOY xiaxue's kickass posts. she IS funny & lovely to read, believe me.
neo said…
Back are the quality xiaxue posts!
self999999 said…
its not a question anymore xiaxue has severe insecurities, shes vain enough to name drop "mensa" everytime she gets the chance. lol.
i thought mensa was respectable but
now im not even sure anymore, wow not only you ruin singapore's reputation, you ruin mensa's too...hmm..maybe you are a genius wendxue, you know how to ruin stuff..lol
self999999 said…
and no offense, you look pretty and
all in a weird way, but it seems you
dont have a neck and your head is too big
and you look cross eyed. whys that?
your head is too big for your body...cant
you edit that in photoshop or something?
how about buying another camera?
pol said…
she doesn't 'look' cross-eyed, she IS cross eyed. Everything that you described is how she looks, buying a different camera won't make her look any better. lol
you totally PS-ed that photo, you can't be that slim because your head is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too huge [not that it isnt already is]your hands are out of proportion as well and your fingernails are so totally PS-ed. If you should ever want to do something like that again, please get someone with better photo taking skills and PS abilities
babe said…
wendy cheng fat without make up!
she actuali took out my comment post n another person's cos of this.. omg! u r ugly


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