Monday, August 1, 2005

Ministers, burgers, and fresh air!

Some time ago, I was thinking to myself that I like double cheeseburgers and I don't like normal cheese burgers.

So I thought - Why?

I decided it is because the ratio of bread to patty is just way too much for a normal cheeseburger to taste good.

With this thought, I voiced out loud to Shuyin (or it could be June, I cannot remember), "Why the thing that kiap the patty must be bread leh? Why cannot have patties kiap bread?" I asked, pointing to a burger photo.

Shuyin gave me a look of forced patience, and mockingly said yeah hor, why she never think of it, or something to that effect. She also explained that THAT IS BECAUSE IF PATTY KIAP BREAD THEN ALL THE JUICES WILL FLOW OUT AND IT WILL BE VERY STICKY LAH, DUH!

Now, we all know that Mos burger is always trying to be funny with the burger buns. People all quite happy with bread, they go and make burger buns using rice.

Woot! I like it a lot.


They came up with a new combination! Usually, it is bread/rice kiap lettuce and chicken patty right?

Hmm... Maybe they thought... Nowadays stupid girls don't like to eat carbo, then what else can kiap the chicken patty and lettuce?

Ham pieces? Maybe seaweed? Then it hit them. Lettuce will kiap the lettuce and chicken patty.


A burger of lettuce and chicken wrapped in lettuce!

It is sibeh ho seh for a dieting girl like me! I WILL BUY IT, even if stupid lettuce only 30c in market!

I think it is actually quite nice leh! Except that it is super messy, so don't eat it with a date.

So anyway, some of you might have seen me on TV yesterday... Wanyi told me I was on Channel 8 news, and also on CNA!

I have been approached to be one of the ambassadors for an Anti-smoking campaign!

The campaign is called Fresh Air for Women, and its targetted group are women aged 18-29, and to help them quit, by being friends of these smokers.

I really hope that females smokers reading this will quit... I don't think it is worth it you know, it affects your baby's health in future, and it makes you so much less beautiful.

As for younger readers, don't start!!! Howard says smelly girls are unattractive! =) You can save $5,000 a year! With that money you can go for RHINOPLASTY even!

Who is this Howard person, you people ask... Some of you already know lah, and he is the only guy in that CNA photo... Howard Lo, of Eye for a Guy II fame, is the last eliminated contestant.

EVERYBODY SAY AWWWWWWwwww.... Damn you, Denise Keller! He's such a sweetie! Although he is very rude to me. I think it is because I ate all of his Ben & Jerry Cherry Garcia ice cream. Damn.

He was showing me the video and saying out his thoughts (vs the TV's speech) and it was damn funny. But I cannot tell you what he said! He made me swear against a loved one's life.

So anyway, Howard.

It is damn funny, actually. Now I know Howard way before he got famous. We were at Thumper, and his friend was talking to Eileen Tan (or maybe to me, I cannot remember, but later on he did talk to Eileen Tan). So the two of us were kinda bored.

And we started talking.

I was having fun, trying to pretend like I am a mysterious young lady. It didn't work, because Howard is a GEEK. What do geeks do? They get on the computer, and when they have done enough programming for the day, they do something more relaxing and surf 300 blogs (mrbrown does that too). They gently criticise among themselves how these blogs could have better RSS and firewalls and etc computer jargons.

So back to the trying to be mysterious part.

I failed miserably, because Howard has seen my blog before and he knows everything about me there is to know, except maybe a clear view of my molars. Hmmm, maybe I should put up a photo of them one day.

The night was ending, Eileen wanted to go, and I was like, DAMN, this fucking Howard guy hasn't asked my number.

Bye Howard!

Ok, he is ok with me going... Maybe he's gonna email me. Is it because my molars are unattractive?

I cannot remember how, but I remember we exchanged numbers before I cruised off in a taxi at the last minute.

But we are just friends now! Hey please lah, look at people's taste - DENISE KELLER OK!? Me is who? Just a small-time blogger nia...

So anyway, fast forward a few months, HOWARD BECOMES FAMOUS!!! Woohoo! He actually has his female fans from the show can?

Can I hao lian something? IT WAS HOWARD I WAS OUT WITH ON V DAY!!! I didn't mention his name coz I've always thought he is a very private person, but since go on TV liao, there is no more privacy to talk about lah, hor?

I found out that Howard is also an ambassador for Fresh Air for Women!

And right before me, he was also on Class 95's blind dates! How coincidental is that?

Paiseh ah, I know this is a bit late, but here are the photos for the media briefing...

When I first arrived, I thought media briefing means that we are just meeting the PR company to talk about what will happen during the press conference.

To my horror, I was late, dressed in a mourning black crumply dress, and walked smack into a multitude of reporters and cameras.

Thank you very much, but the big table is sibeh intimidating. Thank goodness Howard was there, because...

EUNICE OLSON AND JAMIE YEO COULDN'T COME, but there, standing beside my seat making small talk with someone, is MISS CLAIRE CHIANG!

People is the founder and Executive Director of Banyan Tree! I am not worthy to sit beside her!!!!

She smiled at me and was perfectly friendly. I like her a lot! She told Howard and I about her teenage daughter, who seemed a have accomplished a lot more than most 19 year olds.

And of course, the lady in pale blue...

She graced the room's carpet by walking in, and as she walked, people popped up from their sitting positions machiam Kallang Wave as she neared them. An unwavering smile to everyone, and firm shakes with all the hands, complete with a personalised greeting each...

There is no mistake it is an MP - it is Dr Lily Neo.

Hell, the first thing I can think of it, Wah, sibeh chio.

I handed my camera to one of the PR girls (thank you so much for taking the photos for me!!), but none of the shots of Dr Lily Neo turned out clear... But personally, I think she looks like Fann Wong, albeit older?

She was very nice too, no airs, but then I am sure all our government's MPs are like that, for they have sufficient training at all the GRC meetings where they meet the people.

No smoking = better skin! =)

Ms Claire talking...

And my turn... I was damn nervous coz I didn't prepare my speech beforehand ... Blabbering... (Dr Neo listening to me!!!)

Still blabbering.

Now Howard's turn...

He loves me.

Group photo!

I was perusing the photos when Howard and I were having dinner (Japanese, but no raw clams) after this, and I said, "Oh dear, the only group shot I have, Dr Lily Neo is closing her eyes leh!"

"So?" Howard said.

"Huh, then I cannot put it up on my blog!"

"Why not?"

"She will get angry what, it's so ugly!"

"You think she reads your blog?"

"Oh yeah hor..."

So there you go.

We were given tee shirts to wear on the official launching day for FAFW, and Howard was making a big fuss about wearing pink stuff - ok, not just pink stuff, but a lady's cut tee with pink flowers splashed across the chest.

Like this!

I only managed to take one photo, was a bit shou mang jiao luan with helping to give out things! The girls were helping out today, and one of them is so tall...! Erm, tell me if you don't want your photo here k, I'll take it off.

If you wanna see more pics can check out the papers I guess. =)

But I don't think there will be much news about me, for compared to the rest of the ambassadors I am really nothing. BUT I WILL STILL JIA YOU AND SPREAD THE MESSAGE!!! Quit smoking!!!

Speaking of ministers, I suddenly remembered the day when I met a certain someone for the first time! So I went to dig out the photos!

It was during a charity event which Eileen Wee brought me to, and it was organised by this socialite called Celena, which I very likely spelt wrongly (the name). Selena? Selina? Celina? I DUNNO!

She is nearing 40 I believe, and still as gorgeous as ever!!! When I am old, I also wanna be like that! She made her fortune (IF I AM NOT WRONG) as a stockbroker, made a hefty sum, and now she has her own jewellery line!

Help me I am surrounded by very gorgeous people!

I casually walked pass a table, and I was like, "FUCK! Eileen! Who is that?! WAH LAU, VERY CUTE!!"

Referring to the guy who is thumbing rudely at something.

Eileen laughed and told me.

Later, Eileen left me sitting on a chair because she went to buy drinks. She didn't come back for very long, and when I looked for her, she was talking to the guy! WAH, SIAO LIAO!

I immediately pounced.

I covered the guy in a double mosquito net and he is held captive now, and is mopping the floor.



"Hey, Wendy, come, join us!" Eileen said, and she made the necessary introductions. Being the nice, thoughtful girl she is, she conveniently walked away, leaving me and the guy to talk to each other.

There was a moment of awkward silence, and the first damn thing I said was, "Isn't that palm tree tickling your neck?"

For indeed, the guy was tall, and he was standing underneath a certain protuding fake palm tree, its leaves on the back of his neck.

Very brilliant pick-up line Wendy, very smart. First thing you talk about is a damned palm tree.

"Oh yeah it is," he mumbled and laughed, hopping from underneath the tree, where the poor thing had to pretend it wasn't ticklish when he was doing polite small talk with Eileen just now.

I liked him immediately because he laughed at my joke.




Hiyah cheh, ONLY ADRIAN LAH. The start machiam so romantic, now we are just friends, good friends. Time flies! It has been 6 months since that day, hor? OMG THE PALM TREE! You can see the palm tree right?

Wah, I was damn fair last time ok!

I feel cheated by Adrian. He is very sloppy lor, when he is not in suits! His hair is messy and he is forever in those CK berms. When I asked him why when I first met him he is so handsome and now he so ugly, he grunted and asked me how come when he first met me I looked like that and now I so ugly also.

OEI! I am not ugly now ok? I am just tanner!

The whole point of the minister talk is this precious photo lah:

Woot! Mr Mah Bow Tan and his wife Dr Sheryn Mah.

They are both super nice people!!

I got some more stuff to blog about, but I think I shall go sleep, I am so super tired, it is 7am by the time I finish this, and I have to wake up for a shoot tomorrow, for Lime magazine.


I love professionally taken photos!! T-shirt, of course, by Localbrand. Bloody Turodrique hasn't updated the site, I am gonna holler at him.