Friday, October 21, 2005

Playing it underhand

I am being done a great injustice to.

While I cannot mention it now, it just reminds me of one incident which happened a long time ago... That, I couldn't talk about then, but I can now. :)

I was then only 19 (I think) and still rather naive and featherbrained about the business world and how cunning businessmen can be. Especially the ugly, middle-aged ones. Pui.

Then, there was this website, a rather sleazy one. They featured photos of girls. Singaporean girls. And no, there are not just one of these websites, so happy guessing which one it is! :)

So anyway, owner of the site wanted a photoshoot with me. I, of course, had my doubts about it.

He told me his site is known for being sleazy, and he wants to revamp that image of his, and that's why they will have a sort of "model for the month" thingy, of a series of photos of a chosen girl donning normal clothes.

I told him I wanted to retain photoshop rights to those pictures. It was verbally agreed on. He was also paying me like what, $300 or something? I agreed to that spastic deal, somehow, thinking well, free photoshoot by a professional photographer - why not?

We exchanged a few emails and whatever.


Meanwhile, I was working for Today newspaper then, and my internship was going well.

I then suggested to my editor that we should run a story on sites like his...

Because there are other websites also like his, and because these other websites were not trying to be less sleazy, I actually wanted to interview him and put him in a neutral light, whilst the other websites, of course, in the bad light they deserved to be put in.

This wasn't dishonesty - I had long chats with this man (let's call him Desmond because Desmond sounds like a dirty old businessman) and I told him how girls felt about having their chao geng pictures put online. After much persuasion he agreed, and took down many photos. Well, I thought, then I won't flame him in the article.


Later on, I realised that Desmond posted on a photo forum that he is inviting photographers to shoot me. Amatuer photographers. He posted up slots of up to 8!!! And guess what? He was CHARGING these photographers!!!

All in all, he's gonna earn like $600 from these photographers, and he was paying me $300.


Of course, I'm not a happy girl.

Firstly, I am highly uncomfortable with being shot by so many freaking people, and duh ... I cannot possibly photoshop all these pictures, and I wasn't comfortable with these photographers holding on to the originals. What if they hated me and just wanted to publish those accidental ugly shots?!?!

I told him I am not going ahead with the shoot anymore.


Desmond flew into a rage. He fired emails at me, said I wasted his time (which I did), and said that HE IS GOING TO SUE ME!!!

I was like, yeah, but we agreed on the conditions of letting me have photoshop rights, and how am I supposed to photoshop so many fucking pictures?

Guess what the fucker said. Yes, you guessed it right: He said he never agreed to that, and it is a figment of my imagination.

Bloody dirty old man.

Of course, I got angry with that, and started to say many rude things to him. I must admit, being a fiery-headed teen, I lost control of my emotions.

Then I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life:

In a fit of anger, I said that I was supposed going to do an article on his kinda websites, and put him in a neutral light since he seemed like a decent man. Now that I know he is like this, no way is the article about to be nice anymore.

THAT WAS SO FUCKING STUPID OF ME. Yes, I KNOW! Editorial integrity should never be compromised, and even if it is, you NEVER, as a reporter, SAY IT OUT LOUD. Ever.

The fucker must have laughed his heart out at that sentence I wrote.


Next day: Shouted at by the asst-editor of Today. I still remember I was working for Tiger Beer that day at some camp, and the scolding was so traumatizing I even cried.

She threatened to fire me (thus failing my internship and have it written on my certificate), and of course her impression of me dropped to the dumps when she knew I wanted to take photos for that sort of website.

Wendy, you are childish, irresponsible, and I don't care what you do outside, but do not drag the company into your fights... and more.

I caused Today so much trouble, because the fucker threatened to write to ST to sell the story, etc etc.

I was forced to write an apology email to him (cc-ed to everyone important in Today), which, truth be told, wasn't that difficult, because it felt more like I was apologizing to Today, and I indeed made such a grave mistake by dragging them into it.

That wasn't the end of my problems.

Taking advantage of my lack of law knowledge, this fucker was still trying to force me to do his photoshoot for him, or he will sue me.

I didn't sign any contracts, but that was indeed exchanged via emails.

I really couldn't sleep at all, and when I did, I fell asleep coz I was too exhausted berating myself for stupidity.

He also threatened to email my school.

Luckily for me, the sub-editor at Today, though a no-nonsense sort of woman, was also understanding and nice. After a lot of explanation on my part, she understood my plight and empathised with me, though of course in front of the fucker she had to act like she is very angry with me.

That fucker called her office like 6 times a day to harass her. God, I won't even blame her if she fired me just so she wouldn't hear Desmond's fucking voice again. But she didn't, and I am thankful.


A few months passed, and the whole thing died down. Of course the fucker can't sue me. He can try, but what does he get in return, I wonder? Freaking $600 lost from the photographers? I throw in his fucking face also can.

Now that I think back of this, I have decided on the worst feeling in the world. I mean beside that of a loved one dying, coz that one is ultimate. But it's even worse than seeing your partner fuck your best friend.

It is the helplessness you feel when you are being threatened. Just like how this fucker held me hostage for as long as I had my internship. FUCK, I HAD TO APOLOGIZE TO HIM CAN!!!! Wah lau! And have him reply stupid fucked up things like "Please be more careful with your words in future, and blah blah blah ADVICE". Like he is so smart! CANNOT TAKE IT!!!

KNNBCCBBBBBBBBBBBB!!! If I see him now I will stab him in the face with a Tori-Q satay stick. You may ask how come I will have a Tori-Q satay stick... Well that's coz their pork with asparagus is like so freaking delicious so it is likely I am eating it when I see him.

If I don't have a satay stick I will stab him with a ... forgot it. I will randomly ask a menstruating girl around to gimme her used pad so I can slap him with it, then stuff it into his big mouth, coz it is so full of rubbish anyway.

Ah, sweet thoughts. Pity I cannot remember how the fucker looks like now, damn.

Back to the topic at hand: It is about socking someone under the belt. Dirty tricks. Threats, blackmail.

(You may say contacting Today was perfectly not underhand because I also blackmailed him about the article but take note that I wasn't blackmailing him, I was just informing him about the FACTS that I was going to write on my article have changed. And certainly, threatening to contact my school, and also write to ST about this whole story, IS blackmail.)

So yes.

Back to now. Now I have learnt my lesson. Everything down in paper - no matter how nice the person seemed at first.

And regarding these people who play such underhand tricks: I look down on you.

Especially the person who has been making use of his ... might I say ... weakness... to exploit the maximum amount of charity and give me one big fucking stab in the back.


You want to fight, you fight like a man, and don't go snooping around trying ways and means to harm me... And best of all, act like you are the demure damsel in distress after it all! You are by no means so innocent yourself.

Who are you to teach morals, when you are this malicious and underhand? You are no better than me. No wait, at least I never tried to delibrately harm anyone. (At most I harmed them along the way of doing something else.) You did.

FUCK YOU, UNDERSTAND? Go ahead, do your very best: Let's see how far you can go.

I'm still here, waiting.

(I am not going to accept comments for this blog entry. I am sick of reading how fucking STUPID Singaporeans can be. They can be so stupid, I never fail to be surprised. Just for example: People are like still trying to imitate me on the comments board, saying stupid things like "I am Xiaxue and my vagina is huge".

When they click on publish, the sign on top says "YOUR COMMENT IS BEING MODERATED". Yet, again they write, LONG LONG COMMENTS, like 3 or 4 of them. All imitating me. And they expect I will publish it? WHAT IS THEIR POINT? You imitate me for only me to see?!

OMG people are so fucking stupid, all of the time. IT ANNOYS ME TO DEATH. Why am I bothering to explain myself to stupid people, WHY?!??! I bet, even though it is clearly written here I won't accept comments, I will still get people trying to write comments anyway. Good lord, people are so stupid. Either I exploit that, or I get angered by that. I shall exploit that, and start a religion tomorrow. You won't be allowed to insult my religion for that is sedition, and you have to pay me 42% of your salary. Why 42? Because it is the the magic, holy number. And yeah, it's hell a lot.)