Saturday, November 12, 2005

The Land of Smiles (I)

So yes, my Bangkok trip!

It was so super fun! To be fair I didn't buy much stuff (like only $300 worth or so I think), but I did go with all guys, so we did a lot more sightseeing and exploring Bangkok than anything else!

I saw so many amazing things that had my jaw dropping.

I totally dig Bangkok man. I wanna go back again!

This is part I, because there are so many photos you are bound to be drowning in them if I post them all at one go.

Changi Airport

That familar board makes me very excited every time...

Upon checking in, we were horrifed to realise that our flight was 845pm and not 645 like what the tour agency told us! Wah lau!

The boys in front, queuing...

Russell's (with gf in photo) dad is a pilot, and Kelvin and him kept complaining about the queuing, because they don't usually fly economy, yadda yadda... It really took super long - coz there were a bunch of dumb people in front who had some problems. Grr!

But we are going to Bangkok! And thus nothing can spoil my mood!

Tim's mp3 player is very loud.

Sitting on Russell's bigass luggage! He brought it there 1/3 filled only and said it was for us, in case we needed more space for our shopping.... Awww...


Don't know what Kel is digging for...

I think my flower makes me look very holiday-ish! :D

Yuck, airplane food!

The flight there was very good, a smooth take-off and landing, I didn't even get nauseous like I usually do. Christian says that the best pilots are Scandinavian. I like blondes!! When the pilot spoke in Finnish I was squealing to Russell how sexy it sounds (a lot of rrrr sounds and sounds like Elfish) and Russell slapped me with a spare life jacket.

Speaking of blondes, there wasn't any cute stewards. The Finnish were old and wrinkly, and the younger ones were ugly Thais. Sigh.


I'm gonna die from my roaming charges...

Smoking is bad, but check out their dustbins!
BIA stands for Bangkok International Airport. :)

The Thais are a lot more blatant about their elitism.

We take a short ride to Royal Parkview Hotel!

One of our rooms was a corner one, and it is super big! There were 3 "areas", the living room where the couch is, the bed area, and the toilet area, with the wardrobe and luggage table.

What a deal.

I must say services aren't that good though, they sometimes tend to forget to clean up the rooms.

If you think Singaporean ciggies look bad, check out the Thai ones. Ten times worse. They freak me out!

We quickly move to Chatuchak weekend market.


It was so crowded, and it started to rain, so we stopped shopping after a while and started on food.

Thai coke cans and their cute custom of stuffing straws under the tab.

Kelvin and I ordered roast duck curry with rice noodles or something. Nice!

"Is that an animal whip?!"

One of those carts outside was a sex shop.

Kelvin: "One of those bottles might contain something called the Spanish Fly..."

Me: "What is that?"

Kelvin: "Makes the girl itchy, eh, down there lar, then she will supposedly rub herself and make herself aroused, and have sex with you."

Me: "How you know?"

Kelvin: "I heard lar!"

Me: "What terrible things you men invent!"

Kelvin: "Rubbish, how you know it is a man who invented it, might be a girl."


Hmmm... I checked and realised that Spanish Fly is an urban legend.

Cock rings! So funny, once again I asked the boys what this is for, and they said that the hair is supposed to give the girl pleasure by being ticklish.

I don't think so! I expect it to just irritate; looks rather prickly to me!

LOL very ugly dildos.

After this we experienced one very important Bangkok culture trait: Traffic jams!!

I love Bangkok's taxis! They are very plentiful (never had to wait for more than 1 minute for one), they have no regard whatsoever for traffic rules (speeding blatantly pass red lights and so on), and they come in many brilliant colours!!

My favourite is the pink one of course!! There's also bright orange and baby purple.

This motorcyclist was stuck in the jam beside us, and he kept stroking his daughter's hair... So sweet!

I took out my camera and mimed a permission to take a photo. As per normal with Thai culture, he smiled and turned his bike towards me and nudged his daughter to smile.

She was shy however. Very pretty!

Oh btw, you don't see like only got two people sitting on the bike ok! The mom is sitting at the back!

And good gracious me! THE MAX I SAW ON THE BIKE IS FIVE PEOPLE!! 3 kids 2 adults. Very amazing right these Thais!

We went to MBK next, and I am really disappointed... I remember years before there were SO MANY things to buy there! Now, the stuff there are seriously quite ex, and the quality is not that good either.

I blame the farangs, or what we call Angmohs. Thailand is INFESTED with dumbass farangs. They really spoil market for everyone else lor! They pay an exorbitant fee for everything, and the Thais jack up prices. :(

But we cannot blame the farangs, afterall the prices in their countries is so much more expensive, to them everything in Thailand must be real cheap. Why bother to bargain?

Sigh, very gross, you see the way the cab drivers flock to the farangs and how the Thai girls (bargirls I suspect) sit on the farangs' thighs and pull them to buy things in shops.

The farangs are very glad to be exploited because they do have the moolah.

Oh some of the Thai cabs have the sticker "I love Farangs - foreigners welcome, I speak English!". Blatant!

A bit racist hor, but a different kind. I suppose it is not racism, it is capitalism.

Ronald says hi to all the fellow farangs, and gives them a "wai".





And all lip-synced! They are so beautiful, my god.

The Ah kua shows cost around $20, which is rather expensive considering how many things that can buy in Thailand, but it is a must watch, because the Thais are really the best at the things they do.

Even the details of the props at the back will amaze you.

Ooooh fake boobies...

After a few songs the trannies left the stage and walked out, machiam beauty pageant.

Never seen so many in my life!

I was like, sian, over already, then I walked smack into hundreds of silicon boobs, cleverly cleaved camel toes and pitched voices... THE "GIRLS" WERE WAITING OUTSIDE!

The boys suddenly all turned shy and refused to move. I pushed them to take photos...

Kelvin and his substandard camera skills!!

Wah lau, you know I was quite filled with awe at these trannies, thinking they look very glamourous and classy (was damn ashamed of my ratty hair), when they started opening their mouths and asking for money.

"You gimme tips!"
"Must pay money, I take photo with you!"
"500 baht! You give me 500! ($20 sing)"

Extremely buay paiseh leh! I was like, huh, 500 baht I can go potong myself already lar, for what I pay to take photo with you! Ok lar maybe not enough to potong, but still, $20 sing dollars for a photo? YOU MUST BE MAD!

I don't think it takes much talent to take a damn photo, so I gave three girls only 20 baht each. LOL... Coz the boys gave 100 baht. Very giam right? But boh pian, I don't have change! It's either 20 or 100 and I can't possibly pay 300 baht for one damn blur picture!

Scary, these "girls"...

But very gorgeous...

I asked our tour guide how much it costs for rhinoplasty (nose job) in Thailand, and she said it costs....



FREAKING $300!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Don't stop me, I'm going. Stop pulling my sleeve! Hey let me go!

As I needed more evidence the Thai doctors are good, she appears, basking in her own special corner, when the rest of the trannies were just standing in line...

Clearly the best looker of the trannies, she stands, smiling, in front of her own printed poster...

In the smallest and most dejected of voice I concede that I lose. I lose big time. She is prettier, taller, more elegant, and even her damn hips are rounder than mine.

As a real woman I have no guts to face this cruel world anymore. I shall thus kill myself. After I finish this entry.

We then proceeded to Bed Supper Club, which is damn nice! Everything there is white and minimalistic.

But expensive! Someone told me that the clubs in Thailand don't usually pander to the locals, so it will mostly be bargirls and farangs you see inside... Before 12 is costs $24 to enter, with 2 drinks free.

Tim and I

Wah lau I put my make up in the dark hotel room and it looks damn patchy, without me realising.

There are two levels and you can climb a ladder up! :)

I told Russell to act like a drunkard lol...


The beds are so comfy!

Ok! End of today's entry!

It is rather boring isn't it? Coz all the interesting stuff are later! The Chatuchak animals (hedgehogs, slow lorises, endless super cute pups, all secretly taken photos, sheesh!), the sex shows, and the boys all getting a makeover! :D

I love Thailand!! *hugs Thailand* (I know you cannot hug a country but shut up)

The trick to winning the game is to find the dots with only 3 lines sticking to it, and PULL THEM TO THE 4 CORNERS. I know! I so clever right? :D

As for Kelvin's car's button, as a blog reader said, it is for the wind deflector. NOT a window defroster, duh.