Monday, April 17, 2006

Boring Monday

It is so boring! I can't believe my sleep time is back to normal again! (slept at 2am, woke up at 11.37am, chao turtle, wake up so early for fuck, all my friends are still sleeping)

I kinda slept early yesterday night coz Mike was away on a wedding and could only be back home (where his internet and computer is) NOW, but due to some plane fuck-up he can only come back by tonight, and thus I am awake and bored.

I've got nothing to do at home!

I wanna play mahjong.

I have finished surfing the tabloids for today, and I have watched all the dvds I wanted to watch, and I am bored.

I know I have already said I am bored like a gazillion times and this is possibly making you bored as well, but that's good.

Anyway, yesterday I wanted Gu huo zai (anyone remembers that show?! Damn old school!) part III again, the classic one where Gigi Lai dies after being raped (cue that song gan xin ti dai ni), and I felt an irresistable urge to date an ah beng again.

[Gu huo zai means "gangsters" in Hong Kong, and the show has Ekin Cheng, Jordan Chan in it, if you remember...]

As far as ah bengs are concerned, I think Mike is as far from ah beng as there can be, and I felt quite sad for a moment thinking about this.

Then it occurred to me that Ekin Cheng's girlfriend got raped (by a short and ugly guy no less) and then killed, so hey, maybe it is not that great to date an ah beng afterall.

And besides, local bengs are useless. It's only the Hong Kong mafia that's cool. They wear couture and date celebrities - all while holding a parang to chop people up. *whistles* The local bengs only squat around discuss their new hair dye colours... Cheh.

Anyway something has been bothering me recently.

People are calling me an spg. FUCK YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!

How is it that I can be an SPG when all the guys I have been together with were all Chinese (and one 1/4 Indian too), before Mike?

It puzzles me that when people hear my boyfriend is Caucasian, the first thing they come up with is, Oh, you must like him coz he is white. The second thing they come up with is, depending on how sexual they are, that either Mike has money, or has a long penis.

Why can't it be that I like his smothering good looks, or that I like him adoring me, or that he is smart, or that he smells nice, or his supreme talent in juggling (which he doesn't have) or something?

Stereotypes. But it's ok, coz stereotyping is inevitable.

Especially when there are so many spgs around.

Don't call me an SPG!!!! SPGs date fat, balding, loser Caucasians, and Mike is none of that.

And SPGs have STDs. I don't. I think. Fuck, what's this itch... OH, A MUSHROOM!! (I'm joking)

Kelvin told me sometime before, that he met this friend's friend who is a self-proclaimed SPG. She deems Asian guys as being of a lower calibre, and that she would never date, ie, a local guy, coz yadda yadda, whatever racist reasons.

Now the thing is, she is fucking fat and ugly.

There she is, yapping on about how she would never date a Chinese guy, and there Kelvin is, thinking, yeah, like any decent Chinese guy would wanna date YOU.

Classic case of sour grapes. You know you can't get a decent local guy, and therefore you say you wanna only date angmohs.

SPGs = losers.

Now angmohs - how many times have you seen a fat, balding, Caucasian male walking along the streets of Holland Village holding a young, but ridiculously ugly Filipino/Thai/insert random SEA country girl?

Why, if Caucasians are so superior (according to the spgs anyway), are they dating these disgusting chicks?

Maybe because there are old, fugly, loser Caucasians around who can't get any better white chicks in their own country.

Think about it, a fat, middle-aged American man in America, can possibly pork a chick that's close to his calibre, ie, fat and middle-aged.

Whoa! When he comes to Asia, the spgs all flock to him, because US currency is bigger than the SGD, and he is king. That, and the fact that his sperm breeds Eurasian babies.

He would have a choice of either a young ugly spg speaking with a fake accent, or a middle-aged white chick.

The white chick sounds like a better choice, you say.

That's true, but see, 1stly, the middle-aged white chick possibly is educated and works for her own living, meaning she will not give in to any chauvinistic behaviour the guy has.

The spg, however, is possibly less able of earning her own keep (think Thai hookers), and thus would give in to any shit the guy gives her.

Secondly, angmohs have a warped concept of Asian beauty (with the exception of Mike who has very good taste), and flat noses, small eyes, zero class (sorry, but I am thinking of domestic helpers milling along Liat Towers) and long labias - every single fucking thing can be credited and accepted due to "Oh well, she's Asian, it's normal for her race to look like that."

Fuck, there are Asians who look like this, and there are Asians who look like this:

(reason why I chose Cecilia Cheung is coz she is dating an angmoh guy too, and no one would call her an SPG, coz she is not with zero class)

So no, not all Asian girls look like those sluts you see in porn with their brown labias, pig nose and fake tits. There are those who have class too.

Some of you said I was contradicting myself when I said I was disgusted with the farangs in Thailand dating Thai girls.

Oh? How is that contradictory? I deem myself as an educated, above-average looking girl. I am not a gogo bar dancer who hooked up and married the angmoh who stuffed a few hundred baht down my ass crack.

Therefore, whenever I hear some Caucasian male go like, "I like Asian chicks," my immediate reaction is that he possibly likes the porn-star low-class sort, and this pisses me off coz I am bundled in the same group as these girls just coz I am Asian.

And of course, if you haven't understood it yet, I do think of myself as being superior to these girls.

In any case, it's a perfect match isn't it? The spg can't get any Asian guys who are better, and the old Caucasian male can get a young white girl either.

Asian men should stop getting pissed off that there are spgs around looking down on you. Coz now you know: You won't want disgusting spgs either.

On a different note, Eileen (Tan) and I were talking about penis sizes that day. I told her that it is a natural way of things for races to fuck within their races, because penis and vagina sizes of each race is possibly best fitted for each other.

If the Asian man has a smaller penis (stats here. I'm not trying to be racist), then he should screw the Asian girl, since Asian girls are smaller in stature and would have, well, tighter genitals.

(stop trying to say I am contradicting myself. Just coz I say it "should" be that way doesn't mean I must follow it. I also say we "should" be nice to the ozone layer but I still use my fridge.)

Eileen then frowned and said then isn't it better if White men went for Asian girls, thus resulting in great pleasure for both sexes?

I then frowned at her and said, "Then lidat the Asian guys and the White chicks screw who?"

Eileen laughed and said the White chicks can go for the Black guys...

I laughed and said that would leave the Black girls to have really bad sex with the Asian guys. Ha. *dry laughter*

This entry possibly offends the whole world. Anyway, there are obvious exceptions to the scenarios I managed, so there might just be rare case that when an old balding white guy likes a young, jobless asian chick, they might just have true love - and are not together just coz they both can't get any better.


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