Tuesday, June 20, 2006


I just threw a durian seed out of the window!

I've been throwing lychee and durian seeds out. Hope that they will all grow into tall, sturdy, fruit-bearing trees in a couple of years! :D

Pretty trees. :D

Today I saw a girl on the bus, and she was with her boyfriend.

She has her hair tied up in a half ponytail, and god, instead of lying flat like the classic half ponytail, it was high up in the air - resulting in the tail's body being 1 inch away from her scalp.

It's awful. =(

(Mid year resolution: Cease commenting on people's bad looks. Remember what Jorraine always says, "OH YOU DIE! Karma comes in KGs!!!!!!!!" - with a deadly ringing silence from everyone listening)

Needless to say the couple wasn't very good looking.

And so, while on the bus ride I came up with a very good theory.

My theory is that it is a blessing to be ugly.

So ponytail girl had her boyfriend, which was around her standard of looks, say, 3/10.

So actual looks, 3/10.

Self-esteemed looks? Must be around 3/10 too, since she deems herself worthy to be with someone around that kinda marks.

Now, love is funny game, isn't it?

In life, we are constantly trying to find the partner which has the maximum amount of marks to be with us. Don't gimme that bullshit about communication and deeper understanding and all that. That's rare and weird.

Nature makes us breed with the healthiest we can find, and "health" is often connotated by looks.

So in this case, a person around 4/10 in eligibility will possibly wanna get someone 5, or maybe even 6 if possible, but if not, he will settle for his own standard, which is 4/10.

Similarly, the 6/10 which the previous 4/10 tried to pursue (but failed) will try to get someone 7/10, but most likely will fail and finally settle for someone 6/10 like herself.

(Theory is only general - there are obviously rare cases of exception where, say, a handsome man (8/10) is with an ugly girl. Handsome man might, for example, have only one testicle and feel he should compensate for something, thus giving himself only 3/10 - which is why he is with said ugly girl.)

The reason why I say being ugly is good...

Now, I presume everyone's final motive in getting into a relationship is to continue life - ie by getting married, giving birth, and hopefully have a happy family.

For that, we mostly need an amazing formula called faithfulness.

If a fugly couple, ie, 2/10 both, are together, the chances of them scoring 3/10s are low, because as explained earlier, the 3/10s would try to settle on 4/10s.

They might score other 2/10s, but why bother? All are so ugly anyway.

Now we look at a good looking couple: both 8/10.

People 7/10 and 6/10 are constantly trying to hit on them, and well, why not fuck the 7.5/10 - he is not bad looking anyway.

So there you go. That's why celebrity couples are always cheating.

And that's why fugly couples stay together. Until they are so repulsed by each other's ugliness... well there is nothing much they can do.

I know you can frown and quizzically ask me, "So in this case, why don't good-looking people who want faithfulness force themselves to be with 2/10s and be happy?"

Oh no no no it doesn't work that way.

1) They will be very unhappy to be a person who is way uglier than they can achieve, so the happiness from the faithfulness will be cancelled off.

2) The poor 2/10 will go crazy from the competition and criticism.

I know. It's a brilliant theory.

(I am not adding in the factors of how sad the 2/10s are in secondary school where they are teased to death for looking like cows. They will later realise it is a good thing.)


There used to be a time where I could write these whimsical thoughts of mine in my blog without people instantly smashing them to bits with their sarcastic remarks.

Save it.

Comments are disallowed until I feel like I got my blogging bug back - all happy, shiny, and confident again.

And also, just coz you are one of the 20,000 people reading this blog and thus letting me be a professional blogger does NOT give you the rights to demand anything from me.

I get money out of this not through YOU surely, but through my own hard work.

It may not be very hard work nowadays, but I make the effort to photoshop for hours, I make the effort to negotiate and source for advertisers.

You do nothing. You just read and entertain yourself on interesting material you want to read anyway. What's your credit?

I am thankful to my faithful readers who are always encouraging me, but if you are one of those who thinks you are a big deal enough for you to say "You are a professional blogger, you should blog for us when I ask you to!", think again.

You are extremely wrong.

Fuck off and boycott me if you want to. If it gets bad, I'll just work harder, blog more, and get more readers.

By then I'm sure you will come back to read grudgingly, now finally understanding you are nobody to lecture me.

You just enjoy a new entry like a pleasant surprise if there is one, but if there isn't, you smile benignly, and say, "Well, I suppose I could come back in 2 days to check again!"

Congratulations, you have finally grown up.

(Apologies to the nice regular readers. Some of the teenage fuckers really piss me off with their snotty attitudes)

And yes, comments are DISABLED.