Sunday, June 18, 2006

I am a star blogger!

ST has been giving their new million dollar project,, a lot of publicity recently, and to my tui-ness, I realised I missed a chance of being on the front page coz I was on a damn airplane.

Super suay right? If it were just one day later, I would have been lazing casually on that Astral or whatever car they are giving away too, trying my best to act as if I am a mei nu.

BUT NO! Had to be flying back.

I didn't see ANY Singaporeans at all during my trip in US, and when I made my way back I kinda had a startling relevation about how ugly Singaporeans are.

It is true! I landed in Tokyo and somehow, the plane wasn't taxied where it was supposed to, and the passengers had to all take a bus to go to the arrival hall's entrance.

Then when I was on the bus, people were all minding their own business, and talking to their friends, when this loud person started making conversation in a very embarrassing way to some other stranger who has the misfortune to sit on the same plane and bus as him.

You know how when some funny person strikes up a conversation with you just coz he is very lonely and needs some attention, and it is always loud enough for everyone to listen in, while you try to make the conversation as short as possible?

Yes, that kind.

So this loud guy, the exact sort we all dread to have sit beside us in a plane, started talking to this Filipino lady, asking her if she had a direct flight from Tokyo to Philippines (whatever, I can never spell this), and etc small talk.

He was SO loud, the whole bus was pretending not to eavesdrop while eavesdropping.

The lady answered him, and he started asking her about Philippines, and I started to think about how I hate such people, when he chirped loudly and suddenly:


Nobody even asked him where he is from.

I turned around sharply to look at him, and indeed... A typical Singaporean uncle speaking in broken English.

It then struck me how ugly Singaporeans are.

And god, he was ugly.

He was around 45, wearing his terrible spectacles from the 70s (gold wire-rimmed, oddly magnified his eyes a thousand times), was scrawny, had awfully nondescript but ugly features, wore clothes from the 70s (high-waisted pants with thin, translucent shirt), and had a remarkable 2/3 of his hair missing, resulting in a Trump-worthy combover.

Nobody would have batted an eyelash seeing this ugliness in Singapore, mostly because it is very common for Singaporean uncles to look like this, but in that bus, where travellers are mostly from LA or Tokyo, he stood out particularly badly.

Even if these travellers weren't good looking, at least they didn't wear clothes that are mass produced in China for the mega-thrifty. Even though angmohs may be terribly fat, at least they manage just not to look so... low class.

I bowed my head in shame hearing his sentence, wishing and wishing he didn't really say that, for now all the flight passengers, if they haven't seen a Singaporean yet, would presume that all Singaporeans looked like that.

AND THEY DON'T! Except uncles of his age!

I wanted to shout, "Look at me, I am Singaporean too and I am dressed nicely!" but at that point of time I was holding on to Mike's pillow which I brought back to hug(a big, out-of-shape, brown-stripey-covers affair), so I thought, well, better not, else people would think Singaporeans are not only ugly but also quite mad.

And tadah, when I touched down I am greeted by people who are all dressed in sloppy tees and shorts, and something I am not really accustomed to in US: zits.

Why are Singaporeans always so oily looking? I suppose we can't do much about our humidity, but BLOT, people, BLOT!

Not to say there aren't good looking people in Singapore of course, like a trip to Zouk on Saturday would possibly have the average traveller say "Singaporean girls are hot!" but well, sad to say our older, heartlandish generation is really quite ugly.

Oh well, better than China people... Even the teens have truly bad fashion sense. At least our youths look pretty good.

Wish Singaporeans can bother to dress up a little bit more.

Oops, what a long digression!

Back to Stomp!

Here are some of the pictures I took during our photoshoot:

Photoshoots are so fun!

There were many clothes in 4 different clothes: Black, white, blue and red.

I liked the white the most, coz it consists of many cream coloured vintage-looking corsets (ooh!), but in the end black was chosen for everyone.

The reason? If the boys wore white they will look like PAP. Knn.

MTV twins May and Choy. Before I met them I heard they were rather unfriendly, but I think they are very nice!

It was right before I went to the US, so the twins actually bothered to write out a list of places to visit for me. Sweet!

I also like them because they changed braless in the changing room. Hehehe *lecherous smile*

My Aldo shoes totally doesn't match the outfit...

I hate skinny people. Damn, I'm so hard to please, I hate it when people are ugly, and I also hate it when people are too good looking.

I know. Kinda unlikable. I'm an acquired taste.

Now, if you excuse me I think I will have to update the stomp blog, like I promised a gazillion years ago.

Think they might fire me.

Post-note: Yadda yadda I am shortest and ugliest amongst the girls blah blah blah can't you detractors do better than stating the obvious?

I am the shortest - and that's pretty undeniable and also something I can't help, so what else is new?

I know you are trying to get me to feel upset, but it's not working, because I understand that there will always be better looking people, and these precise people get to become VJs and erm, whatever else they will soon become.

When you guys tell me I am ugliest and shortest among the girls, this is what I feel: I feel like how a tortoise would feel if you told him he is the slowest among a bunch of hares.

Ie, nothing. I only frown and say, "Erm, so?"

I am not placed beside these girls because I am supposed to be good-looking like them.

I am placed there coz I am great at blogging, and I doubt they are as good as I am - just like I will never be as gorgeous as they are (unless I get loads of surgery and dieting done).

Also, please don't embarrass your-ignorant-self by saying things like "your posing sucks as compared to them".

My pose is set by the photographer, and so are the rest of the girls'. How difficult is it to maintain not moving after someone tilts your arm to the precise angle he wants it?

The reason why my individual photo looks funny is because it is taken by someone else other than me (who obviously can't take the photo as I am the subject), and she is standing up - vs newspaper's photographer squatting.

MY SHOES DON'T FUCKING MATCH (and, if you look closely, neither do the MTV girls') because I happened to wear them that day with no prior knowledge that my clothes are gonna be black.

It is not a matter of my bad taste - but why I am bothering to explain such simple logic to mediocre idiots who will never get to do a photoshoot and yet open their fat mouths to judge?

Right, as I was saying, I really don't care whether you guys think I am good looking.

Why do people wanna be good looking? To get attention, and to get the perfect person attracted.

I get loads of attention as it is, and my one person already thinks I am very good looking, so all I need to do is to maintain HIS opinion. (Not yours, your unworthy fucker)

If you wanna hurt me, I suggest you hunt Mike down and try to convince him I am ugly. That's tough considering you only know he is in Texas - which is 695,622 km², a whooping 995 times the size of measly Singapore.

Asswipes. I am ugly? Fuck you, I bet you are fucking uglier yourself.

So I have Dawn and the MTV twins above me? You probably have around 80% of the world's population looking better than you. If you don't believe me you can ask your mom - who is also your aunt.

All the similar comments of you idiots shall be deleted. Fools seldom differ they say... indeed.