Tuesday, June 6, 2006

LA day 2: Disneyland!

73 Pictures!

(Single and bitter people ought not to look though, it is kinda lovey-dovey and all that shit.

It's not me, it's Disneyland!

I know when I was single I used to hate websites which unwarningly lead me into reading some magical sappy love story (HA THEY ALL END IN TEARS, THE FUCKERS), so I just thought, you know, would warn the unhappier of you.)

First, we had breakfast at Denny's!

All American breakfast! Hash browns, hamburger steak, and eggs. Yum! Lots of old people there.

Flowers outside the restaurant. Why don't they bloom so big and pretty in Singapore?

And the drive to Disneyland!

Really near where we stayed, which is Buena Park.

Parked and had to wait for a tram to come pick us up!


I know I am like 15 years too late or something, but still! Disneyland!

(Later on I knew why I didn't get to go when I was a kid.)

It was freezing cold! I know I am from the shitty equator, but man, I don't understand how Americans can just wear a tee with shorts in this weather.

Oh yeah, my complexion! Isn't it great? In the states, there is no need to use a facial blotter, coz it is so damn dry. Make-up stays on for hours!

Hmmm, Mike likes it.

Our tickets!

We bought a one park one day pass or something, coz I, erm, don't really like roller coasters - which is in the second park.

It turned out to be a very good decision though, coz it is impossible to finish visiting the two parks in one day. I mean you can, but who wants to rush through rides?!

Oh yeah. Like $76 each. Muthafuckers. So expensive.

We then had to go through a security tent:

Me: "Wow, they are checking our bags! For what, bombs?"

Mike: "Haha if a terrorist bombs Disneyland it would really lower the nation's morale."

Me: "Yeah like all fun and happy and BOM! Your kids all die... HAHAHAHA!"

In case any terrorist reading this is getting any funny ideas, DON'T, coz they check your bags. AND. The inlays of your shoes.

You wouldn't dare anyway. Once you go in you will be like, 'Awww... this is so magical and they babies are all so cute' and you turn into a pansy.

Your fellow terrorist friends will then laugh at you for turning gay. So I am warning you, don't.

Guess which alphabet I took a picture with.

That's right, that big O.

But as it turns out I look fat, so I am not posting it.

It's their 50th's anniversary and they are making a big fuss out of it. Oh yeah Mickey? If you are so happy, why not have free passes?

Walt is just a miser like that.

I am getting better and better at pretending that the photo I just took is taken by someone else.

Blondie and me. Cute huh? :D

Woooh exciting.

And guess who we saw when we go in?

M-I-C K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!

I am so angry with him! He thinks he is such a big shot!

He stood there for a while, and a line formed, and it appears that the line is not really respected (which we are at the end of, as you can see), so people keep cutting in from the sides instead.

And what did Mickey do for the poor, queuing, honest people? Nothing! Continued to smile and shake the hands of the cheaters!

And the worst thing is, you can't even scold the queue cutters, coz they are so cute and all have puppy eyes! GRRRR

After waiting for 15 minutes, Mickey's assistant announces he has to go to Toontown and will abandon the rest of the waiting queue.

What an ass.

I'll take photos with Donald instead. Or Pluto!

Turns out Pluto's going to Toontown too. I hate that place.


Careful careful, pony coming through!

Neigh neigh

I wanted to force Mike to wear mouse ears so we went into a store.

Gave him a choice of glittery gold ears, or normal ears, or Minnie's ear and etc etc... So he chose the badass Pirates of Carribean ears.

Rather unwillingly.

I chose the slut ears.

How's that, eh, eh?

Turns out the ears cost like $15 USD each. THESE OPPORTUNISTIC BASTARDS!

I can't believe there are people buying those ears! By the truckload! I wouldn't pay $23 sing dollars for a pair of plastic ears I can't wear anywhere else without looking extremely stupid.

So the next best thing? Take a free picture in the store without buying. =D

Disneyland's food is the most horrendous.

Coke for US$2.25 (S$3.40)? Kill me.

Still, they are very pretty stores.

Passing those, we step into the different "lands". :D

Tarzan-themed Adventureland.

Mike's looking at Jane's ass.

Went into the Indiana Jones ride after this. Had to wait around 20 minutes to get on it, but it is worth it! :) Fun. Saw lots of ancient caves.

On a pirate boat.

Oh what's Mike looking at?

It's a ship!

People waving to us! :)

Went to Tom Sawyer's island...

Nothing much, had ducks on it.

Me with a funny looking thing behind. What? Disney said it's a Kodak moment spot!

One of the funny things I have always thought is this: Why do obscenely fat people want to come to Disneyland?

There are like loads and loads of them, all sitting or wheeling slowly on rented scooters courtesy of Disney.

Now, I have nothing against fat people, but I did see many of them without children, and I think to myself, how do you have fun if you can't get on a ride?

And it costs $76 at mimimum too!

Shrugs. But still, I think they look kinda hilariously out of place.

Vegas has lots of scooter people too, possibly due to their cheap food. How do the scooter people get up the escalators and stuff?

Wonder why people just give up on walking like that. When they are starting to feel it is difficult to walk, or go through a door, they should stop eating already, instead of giving up, and saying, "Damn, I'm gonna need a scooter! And give me another Twinkie!".

At least the Singaporean fatties still walk, which deserves some respect. American ones all whine and say obesity is a disease and they can't help it.

If it's a disease, then answer me this: Why are they no fat bangalas?

See, I know you don't have an answer for that.

Not a disease.

Hey look, it's Clover! Cows are all called Daisy or Clover. Since Disney already has a Daisy, this one must be Clover.

Lots of ridiculously expensive places to eat.

Sweet. :)

Big whale out of nowhere.
If I bring my kid to Disneyland I will scare him by threatening to let the whale eat him.

How delightfully colourful.

Very talented gardener.

I especially like the lion.

Toontown! I kinda like it the best... It's like entering a cartoon! Oh well, no wonder Mickey liked it so much.

Mike likes the fireworks.

Well ok, he is supposed to act like he is scared of them. Oh, he really is quite terrible at posing for photos.

Go fuck yourself, Mickey. Look who I've got!

Have an urge to climb those gates.

We are in a toy house.


For some reason, the giant spinning ball on water really attracts him.

There's a machine around that tells you how you look like when you are old!

Mike, now.

Mike, old. Not too bad looking.

Mike, old, and a smoker. Don't smoke!

Oooh... speaking of smokers, Disneyland does not allow smokers anywhere except in very selected areas! Pretty cool huh? Protect the kids and all.

Yes yes. Here we go, me, old and if I smoked:

I have a theory.

My theory is that only the cutest kids get brought to Disneyland.

It is true!

I am not only talking about those blonde children tumbling around with their fluffy curly golden hair and big blue eyes.

Even the Asians I saw, for example, have super cute children - those you can put on baby food ads or something.

Now think about it. Were you cute? I wasn't too cute, which is why I didn't get brought to Disneyland.

It costs almost US$400 to bring a family of 4 inside, and that is not including buying food, and for most kids, a full princess/pirate costume, which possibly costs like $50.

And like ALL the girls there were dressed like Disney princesses (the most popular being Cinderella, oddly enough. I never liked her. Blue. Yikes.).

Back to my point. Cute kids and Disneyland. It is true! Proof:



After this we saw this little girl running about...

And I asked her mom if I could take a picture of her... Her mom told her to pose, and she did this!

Super cute!

I'm gonna abduct her.

That's it. We go back to the hotel to sleep.

And now, I'm gonna watch Lost! I just finished the first season on DVD, and IT SUCKS! Excuse me, but what the fuck is in that hatch? Why was Claire abducted? Who is Ethan? Why are all these questions unanswered? Grr.... I hope it will be in Season 2.

Or is it not?