Friday, May 9, 2008

Goddamn stupid reporters - and a persistent pain

(Meant to post this a gazillion years ago but didn't finish writing it...)

Thanks to blog readers for informing me about yesterday's a long time ago's tiny news coverage about me!!

Basically, the Fash Hag, an anonymous, often sarcastic writer (is she? I'm guessing from the two or so times she wrote about me... maybe she ain't sarcastic to everyone) thinks I should "live and let live" regarding the Bintan blog entry, and not have so cruelly (to some undeserving conglomerate?) wrote about about the resort.

To the Fash Hag, I think you have completely missed the point of my blog entry.

It is not to spitefully cause less sales for Angsana Resort, but to warn innocent travellers not to go to that particular place!

That, my dear, is an honourable and kindly reason, so instead of being reprimanded for it, I ought to be given a Good Citizen Award!!

If, my dear Fash Hag, you don't believe the things I wrote, there is only 1 simple solution.

Why don't YOU do some good in the world, and pay for your own holiday in Angsana?
(No, of course you can't tell them you are a reporter!!)

Then, afterwards, if you thoroughly enjoyed yourself and think that the pleasure far exceeds the amount you paid, then YOU can go ahead and write about your pleasant experience and therefore neutralize the horrid blog post I wrote.

If you had shit of a time there, then don't say I didn't warn you!!

What the hell is a Fash Hag anyway? I'm guessing it's inspired by the term Fag Hag - in which a girl who often hangs out with a gay boy is termed a "hag" only because it rhymes with "fag".

But hag doesn't rhyme with Fash (rather, makes it sound quite awkward) so your name is quite pointless. Do you hang out with Fash a lot?

Anyway, enough of this!!

I just got my tongue pierced yesterday, and all of you who hate me, you'll be glad to know that I AM IN AGONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

Food and I always had a long-standing, good relationship, in which I eat it, and it is happy to be eaten by me (latter self-assumed).

Now, due to the goddamn piercing, every single mouthful of swallowing is pure agony!!!

I can only eat 1 fusilli pasta at a time. CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT? CAN YOU?

It therefore takes me about 1 year to finish a bowl of pasta, and I AM STILL HUNGRY!!

Super annoying!!

KK kept ostentatiously showing me her piercing and urging me to do it, expounding loudly,

"CONFIRM WILL BECOME SKINNY ONE!!! CONFIRM! I lost 5 kg!! And it's not painful la!! Confirm less painful than belly!!"

So grinning like a fool, I did it.

And it hurt (way more than my belly piercing for sure), is still hurting (now Day 3), and to my horror, I actually gained 1 kg!!




Anyway, the whole tongue piercing episode will be on clicknetwork soon. It's gonna include explicit questions asked to the piercer! Haha!!

Meanwhile, new videos:


I learn from an *ahem* expert how to write erotic poetry!! Are you can see from my facial expression, I was immensely bored by him. He and I were totally on two different frequencies and I imagine that when I am old, I'll peruse this video again and tell my grandsons that this is one of the most awkward and PR-ish moments I had in life.

Why? I don't know. I guess he is not serious enough for you to laugh at him, yet whatever he is not serious at is not funny????? It's not funny to listen to some guy's sexual fantasies and urges! God I hope I don't meet him ever again.


Wank-worthy material!

I suggested to Gillian that two of the Chick VS Dick eps should be about Paul doing something KK is good at, and then KK doing something Paul is good at!!

So it was decided that the two things are respectively pole-dancing and singing!!

This is the pole-dancing one, so whether you wanna wank to KK's gyrating (personally I almost couldn't watch it coz I'm her friend and it's like watching your mom dance sexually AHAHAHA), or Paul's slightly gay dance moves - go ahead and watch it!

Ok bye for now!

It's DISGUSTING! I slept at 12am and woke up at 9am like a typical OL can! Please people, jio me for overnight MJ so I don't become like this!!!!

It might become permanent, then I'd start to shop at G2000 and wear Perlini's Silver!! OMG!!! And buy the LV Neverfull, book lunch tables with tissues, which I take out from my lunch pouch!! And I'll clik clak in my 2 inch Charles and Keith and get pregnant!! Omg... I totally want a baby...

Quote of the day:

Kay Kay, after my piercing: "OMG! You totally cannot cannot eat noodles! Especially those curly kind like Maggi Mee!! It will curl around the ball bearing and you will DIE." (looks at me seriously, as if to say, "and you don't want that to be the way you go...")