Sunday, January 31, 2010


I just twittered that I hate dining at SPG-infested places and someone replied me on twitter, Why, aren't you one yourself?

Oh, so CLEVER! *rolls eyes*

I despise SPGs. And no, I don't think I'm one.

I'm not talking about SPGs in the olden sense (circa 90s), because SPG used to just mean Singaporean (or Asian) girls who just date white guys. Well you can read more here.

I don't find anything wrong with girls who prefer to fuck white guys. Everyone has a preference to what they find attractive. Only if it's a purely superficial thing. Like some people like lean guys, some people like chubby guys. Some like guys with small eyes, or with big biceps. Well people CAN have a preference for race too. That's fine.

No. It's the 'new age' SPGs that I really hate.

These SPGs won't even wear sarongs anymore, you know why? COZ THEY ARE NO LONGER EVEN LOCAL! I won't elaborate on which nationality - anyone with eyes can see.

Whenever Mike and I are at such places, such as pubs in Changi Village, I feel really uncomfortable because I know that on the surface, I look exactly like one of them.

But I sure as hell am NOT! I'm not gold-digging. I'm not fucking slutty. I don't solely date white men, and I never used to be Mike's maid, that's for sure.

How do I know these girls are? Well. I'd wager a hundred bucks most of them are.

SO AS SUCH, I'm hereby writing a Guide to qualifying someone as a SPG. Please tick when relevant.

1) Does not work/earn money by herself. Working as a waitress in a White people bar to get a chance to nab an angmoh does not count. Opening a bar using the guy's money after marrying him also does not count.

2) Comes from a poor third world country/poor family.

3) Solely dates white guys.

4) Has a history of fucking at least 3 white guys before.

5) Age gap of her and white boyfriend is at least 10 years.

6) White boyfriend is older than 40.

7) White boyfriend is ugly.

8) White boyfriend is rich.

9) Used to be his maid.

10) Snatched white boyfriend from his previous family with his ex white wife, most probably with kids.

11) Got to know white boyfriend in a white people pub.

12) Is fugly herself, none of the guys of her race and age would fuck her.

13) Dumb and lazy, but loud and opinionated.

14) Irrationally fond of tiger prints.

If you hit at least 10 of the criteria, congratulations, you are an SPG!!!

(Yeah yeah I know you think I'm number 13. Whatever. I don't care. *waves mensa cert*)

Why do these SPGs and their dumbshit white men irk me so much? It's not like I think I'm better than them.

NO WAIT. I do think I am better. Afterall I'm not using my vagina to get out of a poor chicken-feeding life and sucking some old ugly white dude's cock for his money.

Yeah. So I'm better, and yet I'm constantly labeled as one of them. And I absolutely HATE it when I hear that these white guys are fucking their maids!!!!!!!!!!


I mean wtf man! You come to Singapore to work doing an honest living or to seduce men?? And it's difficult for single men to get maids (I think), so worse, most of these men are MARRIED!!


Good lord it just makes me so pissed off.

I know I'm being very contradicting here because I despise these girls and I hate it that on the surface I look like one of them, and yet here I am judging how they are like by how they look like on the surface.


You see some slutty 20 year old Asian chick with a 50 year old angmoh, WHAT WILL YOU THINK? You think it's true love? Sorry but I believe she is a homewrecker! And sorry you look like your shitty stereotypes!

What the FUCK are these dumbshits doing in Singapore anyway??

The angmoh is not Singaporean, the slut is also not Singaporean, can't they bring their fornication to their fucking respective countries and stop tainting our land!! It is crowded enough as it is! URGH!

And why, the single SG girls and guys are not good enough for them is it?? MUST FIND WEIRD NATIONALITIES TO FUCK IN SINGAPORE?

Gross shit.

Can't stand it.

Don't give me that "you are racist" bullshit. I'm not anti any race, I'm anti home-wreckers. I'm also anti Cheena sluts (that's my race btw, Chinese) who fuck married SG men, but they are not SPGs and I'm not compared to them so I'd leave them for another entry. Actually, I've wrote about them loads before!! LOL

Mike always says he doesn't understand why I'm so riled up when I'm put in a social situation with these people. I told him,

"How would you feel if you were dating a 50 year old rich lady, but you are rich yourself, and you are not with her for her money (never used her money, dated her since she was poor) but for true love... And yet, this lady constantly brings you to social events where all her taitai friends are dating useless toyboys your age, and you look like one of them, and everyone says you are a just a toyboy too??"

Well, rant over. Gonna watch telly with my age/looks compatible fiance now.

p/s: Feel free to leave comments regarding stories of how you heard these SPGs (esp of the domestic helper variety) broke up people's families. I love getting all riled up.

p/p/s: Not sure if I wrote something like this before but recently my memory is damn bad. I feel like I'm complained about this before. Not the guide though, the guide is awesome!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Bling, berry, bling!

Happy happy happy! After lugging around an utterly hideous berry (9700 bold 2) for a few days, my pink keyboard from finally arrived!!!

Mike changed it for me with the help of this video, and it already looks so much better omg.

Next day, I brought it to Gmask to cover the rest of the phone with a pink mask, and TADAH!! PINKBERRY!!

So I set out to bling it, starting with the back cover:

Almost done...

I don't understand this... If there is one thing a camera can never capture well, it's bling!!

The colours always look so inaccurate with flash and without, it's always not as shiny as it looks in real life!

I guess to really get how it looks like you need video coz different gems sparkle when moved and that's the beauty of it!

From the less than complimentary comments I read from yesterday's POTM photos, I gather that this sort of design is not gonna be generally taken positively.

Cluttered, messy, etc... IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY!

The way I normally bling is the USA way of doing it with neat lines (see if you don't believe me) but the Japanese style (google image 'deco-den') is to cramp as much nonsense on the phone as possible!

For this phone I wanted something EVEN MORE KUA ZHANG than the 'normal' blinged phones so I tried something new. AND I LOVE IT!!

The design is supposed to be this way: Ribbon, with 4 ribbon tails trailing down to the big teardrop, the "X", the small teardrop, and the heart diamante!

Well it's a bit confusing but 2 ribbon tails are made of the diamante chains and 2 made of pearl hearts. :)

And here's the back cover with the front of the phone, now in pink!

After blinging the front! Here's how the keyboard looks like in the dark, mad chio!

My LED light indicator has a HEART around it. :D

My girly berry with a ribbon!!

The ribbon is actually made of plain pink plastic but I blinged it too! I bought it at the shop next to Monfae. LOL if you read my advert u will know where that is!


More accurate colour without flash

And here it is, on my fat hairy thighs!!

You may or may not (personally I cannot understand why not) like it, but you can't deny it's attention grabbing as hell! :D :D :D


(Die die also will blog about Phuket tomorrow)

p/s: When I asked Mike if the pink keyboard is pretty after he just changed it for me (with the rest of the phone black), he said it looks funny, like a serious businessman in a suit and all, but wearing a pink feather hat.

Now the whole phone is blinged... It's a serious businessman potonged and transformed into a full gaudy tranny!! LOL

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

New videos!!


Guide to Tattooing... AND I'M THE ONE DOING IT!!!

My poor guinea pig who is literally scarred for life is Mike from Numbnuts!! Must watch!!

p/s: Small snippet about tattoos: I just found out Mike (my Mike) has a tattoo!! He poked himself in the knee with a pencil when he is very young and the lead was trapped inside his skin. LOL it looks like a 2mm blue (dunno why blue) dot!

What a hideous photo of me. Guide to party tricks!!

Watch me do incredible stunts like, erm, stabbing an apple in midair! I'm pretty good as it turns out LOL


The pictionary challenge! Boobies? Paul?
Unbelievable he would draw something so uncouth.


The numbnut boys's Xmas special: Selling kisses for charity!!

Loser gets a shitty haircut from the winner!! Hahaha!

Eat hot wings or get attacked by a crazy tennis ball launcher! Ouchie!

The Shan and Rozz show

Interviewing a sexologist! Is that a condom?

Interviewing Chris Garver, famous tattoo artist!

.... And a contortionist, who doesn't seem to be sitting in a socially acceptable position. Honestly man, you don't shine your asshole to the world like that.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Pathetic post

I'm supposed to be blogging about my Phuket trip but I'm too lazy so here's one single photo so that the blog doesn't look so stale.

Something about coming back from holidays make people sleepy!!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


Got off for a short holiday to Phuket, thanks to Andara Resort!

Think it's my second or third time there but Thailand is always good fun!!! I'm gonna drag Mike shopping!

Took off my ring... I'm scared someone will chop it off!! Ok lah it's not THAT expensive but I don't want to drop it into the ocean!

Also, just got the new Blackberry Bold 2!! Hopefully photos will be nicer. :D

See ya guys in 4 days!

Friday, January 8, 2010

Empty Pen

The host family just came and went... Great family. Caring mom (didn't see the dad), 2 kids and 1 baby, big landed house with garden and swimming pool, and 2 maids to clean up after Pumpkin.

Anyone who knows logic knows that the dog's gonna get a better deal.

Momo came over and helped me with packing all of her stuff. Folded up her toilet (it's a cage). Pumpkin KNEW. She knew she was gonna be gone away from me again. She just sat there and didn't move. Normally she won't stop zipping around. She won't hop on my lap when asked.

But everything was so cheery when the family came over... Kids won't stop asking me questions. And I was fine (if not a bit grumpy) all the way till dinner was over.

Then I came home and her pen is empty. Devoid of Pumpkin.

Fucking hit me like a tsunami. And suddenly I don't even remember why I gave her away. I just want her back again on my lap chewing a toy.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I love her, yet I resent her.

I made this decision after wavering for 8 months, and I'm yet I'm so upset about it.

Yeah I know. Then don't give her away lah! But I'm not truly happy having her, because I know she is unhappy having me.

Let make this clear.

This is NOT about responsibility.

There is no saying that people cannot give their dogs away to BETTER homes.

I'm not trying to be defensive either. It's the truth.

You are not the dog, you'd never know if they are happier or upset to be so called 'abandoned'. But I, as her owner, have seen how unhappy she is caged in a pen. Even if she does love me, I believe she would love freedom even more. Nobody wants to spend their life in a pen.

RESPONSIBILITY is knowing you have to take care of your dog for the rest of its life when you buy it. It is to feed the dog, bring it to the vet, pay for hospital bills.

It means that when nobody else wants the dog, you still have to take care of it, and not abandon it on the streets or put it to sleep.

It also means trying to give the maximum amount of happiness you CAN to the dog. But therein lies the problem.

How much happiness should you sacrifice of your own to give happiness to the dog?

Dogs are afterall our companions. When people preach about being kind to animals, it must also be reasonable, right?

I cannot possibly quit my job, reject all overseas trips and bring her for walks 6 times a day. I cannot spend ALL my income on luxurious food for her and to build a dog castle for her.

While I want Pumpkin to be happy, I must also be happy.

And therefore, to this equation, I choose to give her away to give maximum happiness to both of us.

There are great animal lovers who would do any sacrifice for their pets, sure. But these people cannot expect that everyone will be the same as them.

Are people who are willing to sacrifice less for their dogs less privileged to own a dog? Are the sacrificial people's dogs necessarily happier?

For every dog lover there is another dog lover out there who is even more outrageous. Which tier do we stop at for people who have no business owning dogs? Lastly, who are these people to judge?

There. I stopped being emo and am all logical again.

From now on I will reject all foolish superficial comments regarding how selfish, irresponsible, heartless and altogether evil I am.

It cannot be clearer that whilst I'm not doing a NOBLE thing, I'm not doing anything bad either.

Giving away a pet is a big social stigma. And as such, I felt guilty. But I'm not anymore. Because I know I've given my pet great care and I took responsibility in finding future security and comfort for her. I don't have to prove anything to anyone. As long as I know.

If it's a question of nobody wanting my dog and me having to either put her down or throw her on the streets, I'd never do it. I'd still take care of her, even if I HATED doing it.

The Mom of PK's new family looked me in the eye, said thanks for giving Pumpkin to them (which her son was cuddling), and for giving joy to her family. They are happy.

Well I'm not happy, but I'm relieved. I'm relieved that I no longer have to deal with drama (pee accidents, hurt when I feel she doesn't love me etc). I'm relieved I no longer have to walk pass Pumpkin's locked pen and see her woebegone face. And yes. We are talking about my happiness. My happiness IS important too.

As for the dog, she seemed to get on with it just fine once she saw the new family. Didn't even notice when I was gone.


1 year. My relationship with Pumpkin is longer than I had with any ex-boyfriends beside Mike. I miss her little ways and I can't get her furry face out of my mind. This feeling sucks balls.

I wish someone wrote this guide for me before I bought her, so here goes:


1) Your dog will become your new best friend.

Not true. Not all dogs are loyal and loving like Marley. Some dogs are very independent and won't care if you walk into a room, some dogs are very slutty and love everyone they meet. Some dogs are noisy and attention-seeking, some are hermits.

It's not about YOU or how you treat the dog. It's just the dog's character. How do I know? I base this on people I know who have dogS. Treat both dogs equal, but they treat you back differently. If you get a loving, loyal dog, great for you. Or maybe you WANT an independent dog. Hopefully you'd get it. But don't go about expecting it.

2) Destroying your previous items

Dogs will gnaw on anything they can get their paws on. They chew on papers, sometimes their own pee pads. It's mad gross. Friend once left a ciggie on the floor and Pumpkin ate it. She vomited afterwards. My specs were somehow dropped and she bit it... Had to be thrown away.

When you come home from work your best shoes may be in tatters. Handle of favourite LV bag broken. Some dogs bite on furniture even. They dig up gardens...

They flip over garbage bins and eat their findings. My friend said her dog is fond of eating up her baby's (human baby) used diapers! Cloudy used to eat my dinners when my mom left my food on the kitchen table.

And it's up to you to prevent all these from happening by keeping everything out of their reach. However, before you learn your lesson, be prepared to lose at least SOME items and pull all your hairs out.

3) Shit and pee: Got a maid? Skip 3 altogether. If not...

a) Indoor elimination:

The cleaning of the shit and pee WILL get to you. Eventually. Be it paper training, or pee pads... Because it's never just a simple business of picking up the shit and pee.

Dogs are never 100% accurate. SOME very disciplined dogs are about 99% accurate, but even with fanatical training like I did with Pumpkin, she's only 80% accurate. When I bought PK I thought if I put in enough effort with training, she won't make mistakes. But she does.

Pee might (and I say likely, at least once) be on the couch, bed, under the cupboards etc. With bad aiming, peed out of the newspaper or peepad. Sprayed on furniture.... etc. If it happens once, it WILL happen again.

Shit might be eaten (by the dog, I'm not saying you might eat it). Smeared into the floor cracks. Diarrhoea-ed. Shreaked from dog's asshole all over the carpet. Stuck on dog's paw and trodded all over the house. Stuck on the dog's asshole and you have to pluck it out.

When you wake up, shit greets you. When you come home from work exhausted, you have to clean shit up. When you wake up in the middle of the night to pee, it's there and you just have to pick it up. It comes out from the dog, everyday without fail.

And the smell.... Oh and they do vomit too from time to time. Pumpkin only vomits on carpets.

b) Outdoor elimination

Smarter dog owners choose to have their dogs eliminate outside. The great thing about this is that the dogs rarely make mistakes at home.

But the bad thing is... Having to bring them out, EVERY SINGLE DAY, at least twice a day (some dogs survive on 1 but don't expect it especially from small dogs who have small bladders)... And mind you, it has to be around the same time daily.

If you miss bringing the dogs out for their daily walks, they will hold it in (or pee wherever they please lah). This will in the long term cause them to have kidney problems.

Planning a full day trip to Pulau Ubin? You can't, unless someone else is bringing the dogs out. I've seen friends with dogs who need to be walked daily... Die die they also must go home at the stipulated time. Couples quarrel when both parties are busy and one has to sacrifice to come home and do it.

Raining heavily? Too fucking bad. Broke your leg, can't walk? Best hire a dog sitter. Mad tired? Still gotta go.

And did I forget to mention? When you bring them on their walks, they might delibrately take their own sweet time to do their business coz it means a longer walk.

Also, bringing them for walks means almost guaranteeing they get fleas/ticks. Yes. GUARANTEED will kena if they walk on grass.

I cannot begin to describe how persistent, disgusting and vile these things are.

Do you still want to cuddle your dog when it has fleas/ticks? Frontline, the most widely recommended medicine for ticks/fleas, cost $75 for a 6 month supply.

c) Delibrate mistakes

A dog cannot explain nicely to us why it's upset. They just know that when they do certain things, they get certain reactions.

For unknown reasons, many dogs 'rebel' by peeing at spots they somehow seem to know will piss you off the WORST. It has to be the worst.

Is it because they crave attention, whether good or bad? Maybe. Or is it because he thinks he is the boss of you? Or that he is marking a territory? Or maybe he is angry with you for going to work and abandoning him? Doesn't like it you bought a second dog? You can watch as many episodes of Dog Whisperer as you want, but the fact remains, WHO THE FUCK KNOWS??

All you know is that the 'mistake' is delibrate, which brings me to the next point.

4) Disappointment and resentment

When you first get a puppy or adopt a dog, you are full of hope about what's going to happen.

You plan to either spend loads of time with it, training it (that's if you are informed and know that dogs NEED to be trained to enjoy the best relationship with them) or to send them to a professional dog trainer.

Maybe you'd be happy with the results. But I wasn't. And with so many working individuals, I can't be the only one. I trained Pumpkin for ages, only to be disappointed time and again by her peeing all over the place. I washed my pink carpet at least 5 times for her.

And to solve the problem, whatever problem, be it barking or peeing or gnawing, you try method after method, and after a while when they all fail, you get so disheartened.

Then it dawns on you that this means you have to live with this problem for the next ten++ years.

That feeling SUCKS.

You start to resent the dog for not living up to expectations.

So, this guide (ME!) advises you to have none. Expect a shitty dog who barks, bites, is unloving, unloyal, and destroys shit. If it's still ok with you, then you can go get a dog now!

5) Trust issues and guilt

So... It is now established that your dog has a 'problem'. Most dogs have problems. Some problems are more tolerable than others.

The most common semi-permanent solution to these problems is to lock the dog up in a pen. To confine it. Be it to prevent it from digging, peeing everywhere, destroying furniture, attacking newborn babies in the family or whatever, most people put dogs in "safe" areas.

Or maybe they muzzle the dog, etc frowned-upon methods of preventing the dog from creating further unhappiness.

And people start to feel guilty that the dog is not getting the stellar, tolerant treatment it first got when it came into the family.

Give it away or continue to lock it up? Guilt guilt guilt.

6) Death of a friend

Say you managed to overcome all 5 points. Your dog is perfectly trained. It loves you.

At the end of 15 years, maybe 20 years at most, your best friend dies.

Unless you are say, 70, it is almost certain that you would end up witnessing this.

The pain of losing a companion of 15 odd years is unfathomable. Not to be flippant towards people with more significant dog relationships, but even losing Pumpkin after a year is so painful..

Is this pain worth it? Or maybe, it's because it's worth it and that's why it's so painful? Whatever it is, it ends up a sad story.

But yet, people still go on quests to find the best furry companion they can. Personally, I wish I wasn't so naively idealistic when I bought Pumpkin. Well, I guess after reading this depressing list you won't be too. But at least you won't be caught between love, disappointment and guilt for many years to come.

p/s: I am NOT accepting comments for this post, NOR ANY OTHER DOG-RELATED COMMENTS ON PREVIOUS POSTS. I don't feel like reading either sympathy or criticism. Just wanted to blog my feelings out. The comments will be deleted before they are even read, so don't waste your time; you'd be the only one who ever read it.

Photo post again

Yay for me!! I've been very sian about taking photos for the longest time but recently I feel like everytime I put make-up on I must camwhore a lot!!

And also thanks to the new camera I guess!!

Ordered some Juicy stuff from Ebay USA and they finally arrived... :D

Bought another of my old Juicy cellphone charm coz I love it so much but mine is mad fugly now!!!!!

Compare! The pearl ball lost its sheen and wordings, large crystal is so faded and scratched, the pink heart is not shiny anymore, and the chain is all tarnished!

I'm happy to have found the same one. :D Love ebay!

Chio little bag with loads of charms! I think I bought this coz it's not too expensive and it's totally cute!

Best find EVER!! Juicy Couture pillow cases!!


Erm I didn't pose Pumpkin there, she just jumped onto the bed (yes she can jump that high) so I thought I might as well take pictures of her... :) Camwhore doggie!

So cute... This is my most SLR-ish shot of her! (Although the rest also taken by SLR but my skills too lao pok)

I'm in my 'I don't want to give her away' mood again. Sigh... But I don't wanna talk about this anymore so stop leaving related comments! Grrrr

Dinner at said location on 1st day of the new year... Mad crowded.

Always request no peanuts ($2! Dunno why they spell as 'pickle') and no wet tissues!

This begs the question: Does Mike ever change out of that tee?

The answer is never.

Hate waiting for food!

Tilapia, cut and deboned by MOI, ex banquet waitress extraordinaire!

It's ugly but I assure you I'm good at cutting fish.

You can see the fins and bones at the back...

Salted egg yolk prawns... LOVES!

Nothing better to do at home... Camwhore!

Huiwen and I at a meeting in a hotel! She was trying to be all professional but I forced her to camwhore LOL

Dinner with bb at Phin's Steakhouse. Bugis branch. Don't go to the Tampines Mall branch, fucking manager is MAD RUDE!

"Don't take a photo first, I'm arranging my hair."

Ok that's all kthxbai

p/s: OH NOW they realised the CB Romanian dickface is the murderer!! (Referring to THIS post) Stupid Singapore govt let him out of the country. Will he be caught and found? Betcha all he won't be!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Pamper your hair!


I've been dyeing my hair even since I got out of Secondary school at 16 so it has been a good 9 years straight! (I feel so old suddenly)

And I've been bleaching my hair to almost platinum blonde for a good long time now, so naturally my hair is really damaged!!! The ends are so tangled and dry.

Many people often lament after doing hair stuff like perming, dyeing or rebonding that their hair becomes this tangled, split-ended mess.

And in their panic, they always end up cutting their hair short! Which is why you don't see that many bleached blondes with long hair, correct?

BUT! I am a believer that hair CAN and WILL be revived even when it is damaged, as long as you keep going on with hair treatments!!

So imagine how happy I was when I was invited to try out the new Essential Intensive Hair Mask treatment at a salon! (Treatments are great, and so is having someone wash your hair and massage your scalp!)

If I wasn't already happy, I'd also be cheered up upon reaching there, you know why? COZ ALL THE PRODUCTS ARE SO CHIO!!!!

Here's a seat + mirror in the salon decorated Essential style!!

Did I mention I love girly stuff???

And here I am in a princessy chair decorated with flowers!! Chio chio chio!

There is a little netbook there too, which is on Essential's website
so you can surf and not get too bored!

Go and see, the site is mad chio also:


My stellar hair mask treatment for the day, in cheery pink and orange:


Nuance Airy for limp and flat hair to be light and bouncy, Rich Premier for unruly hair to become smooth and manageable!

I've already seen Essential products in many stores and everytime it just makes me take a second look coz they are packaged so prettily!! Essential is a really established brand from Japan - no wonder their stuff are so chio!

Here's my hair stylist having a look at my fried hair ends. It is thereby recommended that I use Rich Premier!

Getting a wash first! With Essential shampoo!

Getting the mask out. Since this mask is for you to do at home, it is of course not necessary for you to use the bowl/comb. But if you have those then obviously it would be easier!

Stylist applying some for me to show me how it's done...

And here I am being clever and independent by doing it myself!!

It's really simple. Try to avoid your roots and section your hair, then rub in the hair mask!! Make sure you get the ends.

Smells really nice too. :)


And done! Now I'm just waiting for 15 mins for the mask to reach its full potential.

Camwhore in the meantime...

AND DONE!!!!!!

Look! I'm one of the Essential girls! LOL

Loves it!

Hair becomes much softer, smoother
and silkier to the touch!!

The hair mask is intensive enough to effectively repair your
hair yet it doesn’t feel heavy on your hair after use. :)

Good hair days are awesome!

Here's my hair 1 day after the treatment, curled with scrunchies while I slept and with some baby oil I put on it...

Want to get fab hair??

Put on a mask today and pamper your hair!!

Essential Intensive Hair Mask is available at all major supermarkets, Watsons and beauty stores!

Want to find out more?!

p/s: My bleach job and cuts are still done by my sponsor Mosche!!! Essential is for easy DIY hair treatment at home. :)